


Certainty

by MEF11



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2018-11-09 07:38:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 33
Words: 111,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11099967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MEF11/pseuds/MEF11
Summary: Ali Krieger likes to be sure of everything. Ashlyn Harris follows her gut. And timing is everything.It's a fictional world with made up scenarios but you know the people and influences.





	1. Brave and Beautiful

**Author's Note:**

> This is new for me so please be kind. I have about six chapters written and an outline for more. So if you're interested in more, let me know!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on tumblr @ letter-know.tumblr.com

“Hey Alex! Great party!” Ali said with a smile. She finds her friend standing in the kitchen arranging little puff pastry bites on a purple glass platter.  
  
“Allliii!!!” Alex squeals out, setting down the pastries and turning to wrap her arms around the girl. “I’m so glad you made it! Did you just get here?”  
  
“About a half hour ago, but it took me that long to make it in here! I think you invited everyone you’ve ever met," Ali laughs, shaking her head.  
  
“Well, we had to show off the new place!” Alex gestures broadly around her.

  
“It’s gorgeous,” Ali reassures her. “Well, from what I can see through all the people. Can I help you with anything?” But she’s already walked to the counter and started helping Alex place the pastries on the plate.  
  
“You’re sweet, Al.” Alex kisses her on cheek and picks the platter up off the counter.

  
“You’re a great host. It’s the least I can do. Seriously, is there anything else?” Ali asks, genuinely wanting to help her friend.

“Would you mind going out to the garage and grabbing some bottles to restock the bar?” Alex nods to the door directly behind her that leads out the garage. “Just grab whatever you think looks good. We keep everything on the shelf by the fridge.”

"Got it!” Ali says with a nod, and turns toward the door. Alex heads out to the patio with her platter.  
  
Alex and her boyfriend had finally decided to move in together and had found a charming little starter home. The house itself was small, but the backyard was spacious with a large patio and tree-lined fences all around, perfect for what Alex called a “Sophisticated Rager.” Alex was known for these parties, the whole place decked out with twinkle lights and flowers. She always had a table setup with real food, not just chips and dip, and a fully stocked bar, complete with a bartender to mix drinks. Alex and Ali both work at a high-end bar called Astronomy, and whenever Alex hosts a party, Alex invites all the bartenders, who take turns mixing drinks during the first couple hours of the party. After that, everyone is sufficiently drunk and the charm and appeal of having a real cocktail has worn off. The bartenders get to keep anything put in the tip jar Alex always sets out. Alex has never made any kind of formal request, but many guests show up with a bottle of liquor or a few mixers as a thank you, which Alex quickly grabs and stockpiles for the next party.  
  
When Ali gets to the garage and rounds the corner of the fridge, she thinks Alex may never have to set foot in a liquor store again. The tall shelf is filled with bottles of everything you could think of. The top two shelves housing juices and sodas and various mixers. The rest are lined with booze, organized by color and nothing else. Ali starts scanning the shelves, looking at all the different options, picking up bottles and reading the labels before setting them back down. She crouches down to look at the bottom shelves and finds herself hidden as the stacks of boxes around her now tower above her. She takes a moment to appreciate the feeling, wrapping her arms around her knees and taking a deep breath. It had been a hard week for Ali and she wasn’t entirely sure she had wanted to come to the party, but didn’t want to let Alex down. The girls’ soccer team of 10 and 11-year-olds she coaches for a local competitive league had lost badly at their last game of the season. Ali had tried to cheer the girls up by taking them all out to the pizza arcade, but they were too defeated to enjoy themselves. On top of that, she had worked the lunch shift at Astronomy that afternoon and it had brought her face to face with Collin Hayworth.  
  
Collin and Ali attended the same college, and he had been in many of her Gen Ed classes, much to her disdain. He constantly flirted with Ali, but she ignored it for the most part, trying not to give him the satisfaction of knowing he got to her in any way. One day, he had found her in the dining hall, sitting with a couple of friends and her then-girlfriend Lara. Lara sat with her arm around that back of Ali’s chair, while Ali had one hand in Lara’s lap, gently rubbing her thumb over the top of her thigh. Collin, of course, had taken it upon himself to grab the open chair at the end of the table and sit down.  
  
“Oooh, Ali!” He leered at her hand on Lara’s thigh. “I knew you were hot but I didn’t know you were _this_ hot” Ali shot him a look and carried on with her conversation like he wasn’t there.  
  
“Come on, Al. This could be really fun for all of us,” he tried again. Ali kept talking. He leaned in a little closer to her, lowering his voice, “You know you want me to watch as much as I want to.”  
  
With that, Ali still carrying on with her friends, opened her water bottle, and dumped the contents in Collin’s lap.  
  
“God you’re such a bitch! It’s no wonder you can’t get a boyfriend!” he yelled at her before scampering off, pants drenched.  
  
Everyone had laughed, a few at other tables applauded, but internally Ali felt sick and embarrassed.  
  
The day of the party, Ali had just started her shift when Collin and three of his Frat Bro friends had come in and sat themselves right in her section. She rolled her eyes knowing he wasn’t going to make this easy.  
  
“Good afternoon, gentlemen,” she said sweetly, setting a water carafe and four empty glasses on the table. “Do you need another minute with the menu or can I get something started for you?”  
  
Collin smirks. “Oh you’ve already started something for me, babe.”  
  
Ali takes a half step back, “I can come back.”  
  
“No, we’re ready.” Collin’s friend added before she could get away.  
  
They each ordered a beer and she could feel Collin’s eyes on her as she headed back to the bar. She tried to interact with them as little as possible, but when she went to grab their bill from the table and run their cards, Collin had reached out and pinched her ass. She turned, ready to tell him off, when her manager Tom stepped in.  
  
“Excuse me sir, but we don’t tolerate that kind of behavior in this establishment.” He grabs the check from Ali as he continues, “I’ll be happy to finish cashing you out so you can leave. Immediately. Ali, you’re welcome to take your 10 now if you’d like.” Ali noded in appreciation and hurried off to the back.  
  
Back in the garage, Ali stays crouched down for a moment, enjoying the silence and leisurely looking through bottles of liquor. She starts to grab a couple of things, placing them in an empty box she found, when the door opens. She can’t see the person yet, so she just listens, taking in the situation. A woman holds a phone to her ear, looking and sounding tense as she speaks.  
  
“Hold on, I need to find somewhere quieter.” The woman says pulling the door closed behind her. “Casey, stop. Please, just stop.”  
  
A pause.  
  
“No, don’t cry,” the woman pleads.  
  
Ali can see her now. A striking blonde, dressed in a black t-shirt and black jeans, is pacing back and forth beside Alex’s Honda. Ali notices the elaborate tattoos covering the woman’s whole arm, as she presses her phone to her ear. Her other hand runs through her wavy, bleached hair. She watches her face change from desperation to anger as she listens to whoever is on the other end of the call.  
  
“Jesus, Casey, don’t say that! You don’t _get_ to say that!”  
  
Ali can’t make out what the voice on the phone is saying, but she thinks it sounds like another woman, and she might be crying. The blonde is getting angrier now, practically shouting, "NO! You don’t! Don’t tell me you love me, that you’ll always love me! Don’t do that!”  
  
Another long pause and then the woman’s face changes again, she softens some but the hurt is apparent in her voice. “Tell me that you never loved me. Tell me that it meant nothing and that your heart didn’t race every time we kissed. Tell me you never felt safe and warm in my arms when I held you. Tell me when you reached for my hand in the car, or whispered sweet things in my ear that it was just going through the motions. Tell me your heart never beat for mine.”  
  
Another pause.  
  
“Because, Casey, I can get over it if there was never really anything there. I can be hurt and angry and then get up and get over it if it was never there. But if you tell me you love me, that part of you will always love me, then I have to spend forever trying to figure out why that wasn’t _enough._ " She adds quietly, “Why _I_ wasn’t enough.”  
  
Ali realizes that she’s just been witness to a deeply emotional breakup, and that this woman in front of her has no idea she’s there. She should have stood up immediately. She should have gotten up and walked out, but something held her there. Something about the look on the blonde’s face and the almost poetic words she had spoken had tethered her to that spot. The blonde woman leans back against the garage door, her head pressed into her hand, and then sinks down out of Ali’s sight. She speaks one last time.  
  
“For her sake, I hope you mean it this time. I know you want me to tell you it’s okay so you can be with her and not feel so guilty about it but I can’t do that for you. I can’t.”  
  
There is a long silence after that before Ali hears a quiet sniffling and assumes the girl must be crying.  
  
“God DAMMIT!” the woman yells and then there’s a loud thud, followed by a crash.  
  
“Fuck! _Shit!_ " She yells again, this time her voice is pained in a different way.  
  
Ali assumes she must have punched something. Ali also realizes she’s been gone awhile and Alex is bound to come looking for her soon. Besides, she can’t hide here all night so she might as well make herself known. Ali quickly and quietly places a few more bottles in the box and then stands and opens the freezer, pulling out a bag of frozen peas. The blonde woman looks at her, eyes wide, but says nothing. Ali grabs a rag from a stack on the washer and walks over to the woman, crouching beside her and taking her hand.  
  
“Here.” She looks at her hand, already swollen and turning purple, there’s an inch-long cut between two of her knuckles.  
  
She wraps the rag once around her hand, then places the peas on top before wrapping the rag around another couple of times, tucking an edge under to secure it.  
  
Ali looks into the blonde woman’s eyes apologetically, “I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to spy. I came out here to get more booze and I just panicked when I realized what was happening and –“  
  
The blonde cuts her off. “It’s fine. I’m sorry I trapped you. Thanks for this.” She raises her wrapped hand slightly.  
  
Ali smiles at her, “breakups suck. Being cheated on sucks. I’m sorry. For what it’s worth, I thought what you said was really beautiful.”  
  
The blonde woman laughs quietly, “beautiful?”  
  
Ali stands, “Yeah. Well, I mean, it was sad too, but it was also beautiful. And brave. I don’t think I could ever have the courage to tell someone so honestly that they can’t hurt me like that. Casey is going to have a lot to think about tonight.”  
  
Ali walks back over to the fridge and picks up the box of liquor. She grabs one more bottle off the shelf and walks back over to the girl on the floor.  
  
“For you,” she says holding out a bottle of whiskey, about a third of the way filled with the warm, brown liquid.  
  
The woman takes it from her, holding it between her knees and pulling the top off with her good hand, then taking a long drink from the bottle. She holds it out to Ali, who takes a small drink before handing it back.  
  
“I’m Ali.”  
  
The woman takes another drink before answering. “Ashlyn. Thanks for this too.” She says shaking the bottle.  
  
“Like I said, breakups suck. But be careful, heartbreak and whiskey don’t always mix. I’ve got to get back inside, but if I don’t see you in there in like, fifteen minutes, I’m going to come looking for you.”  
  
Ashlyn nods in agreement and Ali turns and heads for the door. She has her hand on the knob when she hears Ashlyn’s voice and stops.  
  
“I wasn’t brave. I was cruel.”  
  
Ali turns back to her, puzzled by her words. Ashlyn isn’t really sure why she’s telling this to the kind, spying girl, but she goes on.  
  
“I didn’t really mean it. I guess that’s how _I_ actually felt. I was never in love with her. I cared about her, and I _wanted_ to love her. I sort of thought if I stuck it out maybe it would happen, but mostly I was just going through the motions. And then I flipped it on her because I knew it would get to her.”  
  
Ali thinks for a moment, taking in her confession.  
  
“Was she sleeping with someone else?” Ali asks.  
  
“Yeah.” Ashlyn nods and takes another pull from the bottle held in her good hand.  
  
“It’s always going to hurt when someone you care about chooses someone else. It hurts worse when they don’t even have the common decency to let you go first. The way I see it is, there’s no excuse. Especially if it wasn’t love, which it clearly wasn’t for her either if she found someone else. It should have been easier to do the right thing. Seems to me like she wanted to make sure this other thing was going to work out before she walked away. Which is a shitty thing to do to someone you’re supposed to care about. So I still think it was brave and beautiful.”  
  
And with that Ali opens the door and leaves Ashlyn, somewhat stunned, sitting alone in the garage.


	2. I Know a Guy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! Thanks to everyone for reading. And thanks to those of you who left comments too. Please feel free to continue to leave feedback in the comments...it's appreciated! I hope you enjoy chapter 2!

A couple of hours later, Ali finds herself sitting cross-legged under a large tree in Alex’s backyard. The branches are strung with twinkle lights, casting soft light all around her. Giant tissue paper flowers hang down above her, in between the lights. Ali finds herself in that moment realizing that she is definitely drunk. Her head is fuzzy and everything around her is beautiful and wonderful and why did she think coming to this party was a bad idea again? She leans back, laying her head on the ground and looking up into the tree, enjoying what she thinks, in her drunken state, will be a memory she’ll cherish for a long time. Then there's a pair of shoes next to her head and her view of the lights is obstructed. She scans up taking in the black-clad figure, finally meeting Ashlyn’s grin. Her blonde hair cascading around her face as she leans over to look at Ali on the ground.

 

“And you told _me_ to be careful.” She says with a smirk.

 

“Oh please. I’m just taking in the view. It’s not like you found me passed out in the grass.” Ali responds with a dramatic roll of her eyes.

 

“The view, huh?” Ashlyn asks with playful skepticism.

 

“Yes. The view. Twinkle lights make even the mundane seem magical.” Ali says it with such drunken sincerity that Ashlyn can’t help but smile at her.

 

Ashlyn reaches her good hand out to Ali like she’s going to help her up, and for moment, she pulls her to do so before she stops, clumsily dropping down next to her instead.  

 

“Okay, let’s see this view then.” She lays back in the grass, looking up. Ashlyn has to admit that the lights twisted through the leaves and paper flowers does have a nice effect. The two girls lay there not speaking a few moments, watching the leaves rustle gently in the warm, mild breeze of the night. The blaring music and conversations around them a stark contrast to the soft, whimsical setting under the tree.

 

“I never asked you how you know Alex.” Ali says breaking the silence.

 

Ashlyn doesn’t respond.

 

“Ashlyn?” Ali sits up.

 

Ashlyn’s eyes are closed, the palm of her good hand on the back of her head to cushion it from the hard ground, her other hand, no longer wrapped in the rag, rests on her stomach. She looks peaceful and Ali scans the features of her face a moment. Ali sits up on her knees and shakes Ashlyn’s shoulder.

 

“Hey. You okay, pal?”

 

Ashlyn’s eye spring open, a look of surprise on her face.

 

“Oops.” She lets out a quiet laugh. “I guess you can tell people _you_ found _me_ passed out in the grass.” She sits up and sways slightly in her own drunken state.

 

“Either that,” Ali teases, “or you’re a Grandma who can’t stay awake past—“ She grabs Ashlyn’s wrist and looks at the large watch adorning it, “-10:15 on a Saturday night.”

 

“You’d kill my reputation just like that?” Ashlyn feigns shock, “And here I was thinking you were sweet.”

 

Ali scoffs. “I am sweet! So sweet in fact that I’m going to go find us some waters. Because this Grandma,” she points a thumb at herself, “is already regretting tomorrow’s hangover.”

 

“I’ll come with or I might fall asleep again.” Ashlyn stands, still a little unsteady, and reaches her good hand out to help Ali up.

 

The two make their way across the yard to the bar table, their path perhaps a little less linear than they had intended, giggling and linking arms when Ashlyn nearly trips over nothing in particular. When they reach the cooler near the bar, Ashlyn grabs two bottles of water and hands one to Ali.

 

“I was supposed to be getting you the water, but thank—“ Ali stops when she turns right in a tall man who was headed to the cooler. “Oh! Sorry!” She says as she looks up at him. “Wait. Nevermind. I take that back,” she says realizing who it is. Colin Hayworth.

 

“Ali! Just the girl I wanted to see! We need to have a little chat.” He throws his arm around Ali’s shoulder, pulling her tightly into his side.

 

Ali throws his arm off and takes a couple of steps closer to Ashlyn, who stands glaring at Collin. “Um, no. We don’t.”

 

“Oh come on Al, no need to be shy.” He grabs her wrist and pulls her back.

 

Ali yanks her arm back and glares. Ashlyn quickly moves to stand between Ali and Collin, and practically growls at him, “Don’t. Touch. Her.”

 

Collin just laughs and reaches around Ashlyn, smacking Ali on the ass as he looks right in Ashlyn’s eyes. “She likes it. She’s just—“

 

Without warning Ashlyn punches Collin hard in the face, knocking him backwards. He loses his balance and falls to the ground.

 

“Fuck you!” he shouts at Ashlyn, putting his hand to his bleeding mouth.

 

“Like you’d ever be so lucky.”

 

Alex comes running over with her boyfriend, “Excuse me, but you were definitely NOT invited to this party, Collin!” Collin’s friends help him up, and he spits a little blood out of his mouth, right at Ashlyn’s feet. Alex’s boyfriend grabs Collin’s arm and aggressively leads him forward. “I’ll show you out.”

 

Ali looks at Ashlyn now, a little amused. “For the record, I didn’t need you to punch a guy in the face for me, but thanks for punching a guy in the fa— oh shit!” she laughs out with wide eyes. A look of shock and amusement plastered on her face as she notices Ashlyn’s hand. The force from the punch has split the cut in between her knuckles further and she’s currently bleeding down her hand and forearm. A few drops spilling onto the ground. Realizing that Ashlyn bleeding is maybe not such a comical moment, Ali furrows her brow and tries again. “Wait. No. I mean, oh shit!” She says forcing a more serious tone and grabbing Ashlyn’s wounded hand in her own. Ashlyn can’t help but laugh at Ali, staring amusedly at her for a moment before looking down at her bleeding hand. “I should probably stop punching things. Or people. Both really.”

 

Ali shifts into problem-solver mode, directing Alex to get her two clean rags, one dry and one damp, while she comes up with a plan. She starts mumbling quietly to herself, still holding Ashlyn’s hand. Ali looking off in either direction as she thinks, biting her lip now and then in contemplation. Ashlyn watches her intently, her adoring smile entirely unnoticed by Ali.

 

“Okay,” Ali muses, “This definitely needs stitches. You certainly can’t drive, and I can’t drive, also I walked here. We could ask someone else but we’d have to find someone trustworthy because you can’t just get in a car with someone after a party, even if they tell you they’re sober.” She continues to ramble on. “We could Uber but the driver would probably not be too happy about us being drunk _and_ you bleeding. My rating is perfect!” She finally looks back at Ashlyn, feeling a little proud about being such a great passenger.

 

“And there’s Saturday night surge pricing right now,” Ashlyn adds.

 

“Right! I didn’t even think of that!” Ali exclaims.

 

Alex has returned and Ali takes the damp rag and cleans Ashlyn’s hand as best she can, despite the continued bleeding, before carefully wrapping the dry rag around her hand and securing it tightly. She cleans her own hands a bit on the wet rag as she finishes formulating her plan. “Of course we are definitely not going to the emergency room so calling an ambulance, even if it wasn’t totally ridiculous to do so, is out.”

 

Ashlyn looks a little confused, “We can’t go to the emergency room?” 

 

“No! We’re both drunk. And you punched someone. This does not look good.”

 

“I’m sure they see plenty of drunk people in the ER. Plus, we’re both well over 21. And I promise you I’m not the first person to walk in who’s punched someone.”

 

“Yes, but you will be the first drunk girl who’s punched someone in the face to walk in with the beloved Dr. Krieger’s daughter, who is also drunk. And I promise you that’s not something you or I ever want to experience.”

 

“Well it’d be one hell of a first impression.”

 

Ali ignores the comment, looking down at the rag in her hands, losing herself in thought. Suddenly she looks up with a wide grin spread across her face. “I’ve got it. Let’s go, Slugger! We’re going for a little walk.”

 

Ali walks through the house, finding Alex in the kitchen and returns the damp, and now bloody, rag. “Sorry about that, Al. Thank you for a very interesting night. It’s one for the books!”

 

“Yeah,” Ashlyn adds, “I think I’ll have something to remember it by.” She holds up her wrapped hand, blood already visible through the rag.

 

Alex laughs “Chicks love scars, Ash.” She says with a wink. Then she hugs both Ali and Ashlyn goodbye, internally hoping they don’t get themselves in further trouble once they walk out her front door.

 

The two women make it all the way to the doorstep before Ali stops abruptly. ‘Wait! WPK!” she practically shouts.

 

“What?” Ashlyn starts to wonder if Ali is further gone than she thought.

 

“Wallet, phone, keys!” Ali shouts again. Checking her pockets for her items.

 

Ashlyn still looks a little confused but reaches into her pockets and pulls out her wallet, phone, and keys, presenting them to Ali for proof. Ali nods in approval but reads Ashlyn’s perplexed expression and explains.   


“Before you leave any party or one night stand,” Ashlyn raises her eyebrows, but Ali hasn’t realized what she’s implied and continues. “You have to always check for your three most essential items. Wallet, phone, and keys. Other things like your jacket or lip gloss might become sacrifices, but you _need_ those three things. Unless you brought your favorite lip gloss, but don’t ever bring your favorite lip gloss to a party. It’s not worth it.”

 

Ashlyn reaches in her pocket and produces a tube of coconut lip balm. “That’s why I buy this stuff in the three-pack,” She grins at Ali and swipes the balm on her lips.

 

Ali rolls her eyes, “yeah, talk to me when your chapstick costs 30 bucks a pop.”

 

Ali turns and heads down the walkway, Ashlyn following behind, muttering something about how  _it better give you magic powers for that price_ under her breath. Ali hears it, but chooses to ignore it.

 

“So let me ask you something,” Ash starts catching up to Ali. She looks at the blonde in agreement. “If you knew we couldn’t go to the ER, why did you still run through all those options?”

 

“I like to be certain about things. Even if you think you know the best option, you need to consider everything to really be sure.” Ali answers like it’s obvious.

 

“Ah. I see.” Ash thinks a moment before adding, “so is that why you don’t date much? Because of the uncertainty of it all?”

 

“I guess that’s part of it. It’s not really that I don’t date at all, there are plenty of first dates. That’s part of being certain about whether or not someone is worth your time.” Ali had answered the question without thinking, but it suddenly hits her what Ashlyn had asked. “Wait, how on earth do you know about my dating life?!” she asks incredulously.

 

Ashlyn laughs lightly as she keeps pace with an energetic but still slightly off-balance Ali. “It’s not anything creepy, I swear. I was training with Alex last week and she got a text from you about coming to the party tonight and she was so excited. I asked what was so thrilling and she mentioned you and that you didn’t date much and that maybe you’d meet someone tonight.”

 

Ali rolls her eyes with a huff. “Ugh. I love the girl. She’s one of my best friends. But I can’t stand people in relationships sometimes. They always think that in order to be happy you need what they have. It’s like they can only see ‘hey! I’m happy because of this person! You don’t have a person so you must not be happy.’ But all that does is apply pressure and then I’m stuck dodging setups and blind dates.” Ashlyn is listening intently, watching the girl with the long, dark brown hair thrown over one shoulder, as she walks and talks, gesturing wildly with her hands as she rants. “And that’s not how love works. You can’t just force it. This is how people get in relationships that don’t mean anything, because they are too caught up in trying to make other people believe they’re happy.”

 

Ashlyn nods in understanding, “yeah, I get that. I think that’s what happened with me and Casey. I felt all this pressure to be in love and get my family and friends off my back. I don’t really think love hits you all at once, it’s a process. It happens over time. So I just stuck it out hoping it would happen.”

 

“Agreed. They call it _falling_ in love, not _being-hit-in-the-face_ with love. You have to have time to fall. But there should still be a spark, you know? There’s got to be something that tells you it’s worth looking at.”

 

“So you aren’t a cynic after all.”

 

“Just because I like to be certain, doesn’t mean I’ve given up on love.”

 

“And how does certainty play into those one night stands?” Ashlyn gives her signature smirk.

 

Ali’s eyes go wide as she just stares at Ashlyn in shock at her implication.

 

“What? You brought them up. Phone, wallet, keys.”

 

Ali blushes slightly, realizing what had slipped out earlier. “Look, I was in college once. I knew how to have fun. I didn’t want to be attached to anyone, but I still wanted…well…oh, you know what I wanted!“

 

Ashlyn is laughing at Ali and her struggle to say the word. “You didn’t want to be attached then, but now that’s changed?”

 

Ali sighs, “Yes. Eventually I met someone who made me feel like I wanted to be attached. I fell in love.”

 

“So what happened?”

 

“It wasn’t the right kind of love.”

 

Ashlyn's perplexed, “What do you mean?”

 

“I guess I don’t believe that you only get that one true love in life and that’s it. I think you get that one love that’s worth protecting. The one that’s worth working for. But I think you can love more than one person in your life. Like, my mom has this friend, Lydia, and she was married to this guy Mark who she loved more than anything. And five years into the marriage he’s killed in an awful car accident. And my mom says at his funeral everyone kept talking about this one great love he had in Lydia and how he was so lucky to love her and that this love would carry her through her grief. Which is a really nice idea, but she met and married her current husband Geoff and they’ve been together 15 years now. Happily. My mom says Lydia would never say it, but she’s even happier with Geoff than she was with Mark. And it’s not that she didn’t love Mark deeply, it’s just that she has more with Geoff. Maybe it’s just that they’ve had more time together. But I’d hate to think that a widow couldn’t have another great love in her life.”

 

“Wow.” Ashlyn takes in the words spilling from Ali’s mouth. She’s silent a moment before she asks, “What about the widows or even the divorcees who never fall in love again? Was that it? They had their love and now it’s gone?” Ashlyn is endlessly fascinated by Ali’s take on love.

 

“Well, I think some people stop looking for it after heartbreak or disaster, whatever the case may be. They give up. Just because it’s possible to find something special, doesn’t mean it will just fall into your lap. You have to work for it and unfortunately some people are too broken for that. In other cases, sometimes a person needs to be in love with themselves instead. Like my grandmother. My grandpa was definitely the last love she ever wanted. After he died she had to fall in love with herself and even though she missed him like crazy, it was sort of beautiful to see her finish out her last years entirely for herself.”

 

“And how do you know that you’re in the right kind of love? I mean, if there’s more than one kind of love, or person to love, how can you – in your words- be certain that’s what you have with someone?”

 

“I’d like to believe there’s a spark, or like, a magnetism. Something that just feels different. An inexplicable force pulling you towards someone. Of course that’s just an indicator. Ultimately you know because it lasts. Every challenge or obstacle that you face is never big enough to tear you down. No matter what, you’re always willing to protect that love and work for it. I know that doesn’t really sound romantic, to say that love is work but maybe that’s the difference between just caring for someone and really loving them, when you’re willing to work for them and with them. Combine that with lust and like and caring and you get love.”

 

“You’re a fascinating person, you know that?” Ashlyn says earnestly.

 

“I can’t tell if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.” Ali says a bit skeptically.

 

“Oh it’s a good thing. I promise.”

 

They continue on in silence for a few minutes. Ashlyn can tell that Ali has been speaking honestly, more honestly than she usually would, and she assumes it’s the three whiskey lemonades that have opened her up. But truthfully, Ali would have said all those things sober to Ashlyn, still feeling that draw to her that she first felt in the garage earlier that night. If she’s being honest, it scares her more than just a little to feel that way. Ashlyn just got out a relationship mere hours ago and even if she wasn’t in love with the girl, she doesn’t want to be some rebound, nor does she want to take advantage of someone who’s hurting, not to mention a little drunk. Yet she can’t shake this feeling that Ashlyn isn’t just some girl, she’s special.

 

Ali breaks the moment, “So, you said you were training with Alex. Do you play soccer too? Are you also going to go to the open tryouts for the professional club team that’s coming here?”

 

“Yeah, I do. I am. Hoping they need a backup keeper. But I was actually referring to training with Alex at the bar she works at, Astronomy? She got me job there.”

 

“You’re kidding! I work there too!”

 

“A bartender?”

 

“Server. If Alex was training you, I take it you’ll be behind the bar?”

 

“Yeah. I actually start tomorrow night.”

 

“Well I guess I’ll see you then because I’m working dinner to close tomorrow. Are you nervous?”

 

“Nah, I’ve worked in more bars and restaurants then I would like to admit. But you can’t beat the tips and I like people so it’s not a bad way to make money while I try and chase the dream, you know?”

 

“And what dream is that? Football?”

 

“For now. Professional athlete isn’t exactly a long lasting career so there are other things. But this is the time to pursue that one. What about you? Alex mentioned she was trying to convince you to attend the tryouts with us. What dream are you chasing?”

 

“Oh you don’t think my dream is to be a waitress in a bar?” Ali pretends to be offended.

 

“While I’m sure you’re good at it, I think there’s probably something else.”

 

“I’m not sure anymore really. After college I actually went and played football in Germany for two years. I loved it, and wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. But I tore my ACL and really missed my family and didn’t really know if I’d play again so I came home. I rehabbed and started playing on a rec team just for fun. I met a woman on that team who works for a private club and she got me a job coaching for a girls’ team. It’s competitive and the kids are really talented. I like it a lot but it certainly doesn’t pay the bills.”

 

“Which explains the server thing. But what about you? Do you want to keep playing? More than just rec I mean.”

 

“Sure. I’ve toyed with the idea of going to the tryouts. But they’re drafting some of the best players out of college and internationally. I mean how many amateurs do you think they’re really looking for?”

 

“You’ve already played professionally. That disqualifies you from being amateur. You probably have a better chance than most people who will be there. You should think about it. Why don’t you come and train with me and Alex and if we get to February and you still aren’t sure you can just consider it working out with friends.”

 

“I guess I could consider it.” Ali says as she turns and starts walking up the steps of a large, brick, apartment building.

 

Ashlyn takes in the building and looks at Ali in curiosity, “So where exactly are you taking me?”

 

Ali smirks back as she pulls the door open, “I know a guy.”


	3. Reply Hazy Try Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for all the feedback! I really appreciate it! Let me know your thoughts, questions, favorite parts, or whatever in the comments. Sorry for the inconsistent chapter lengths. I've actually written most of this story in one large chunk so I'm still working out the right way to break it up. I hope you enjoy!

“Uh, I’m sorry…you _‘know a guy’_?!”

 

 Ali throws her head back and laughs at Ashlyn’s sudden panic. “Don’t worry. He’s not a mob doctor, he’s a med student. And he owes me a favor. I promise you will leave here with both kidneys.”

 

 The girls reach the 4th floor and Ali knocks loudly on an apartment door. After a moment the door opens and a tall, classically handsome man with light brown hair stands before them, looking slightly confused, but not unhappy. He looks to be roughly the same age as Ali, maybe a little older. He’s dressed in dark blue sweatpants and a white tee and while he doesn’t look like he’d been asleep, he didn’t look like he was expecting to see anyone that night. “Ali? What are—“

 

 “Mattie!!!” Ali squeals as she throws her arms around his neck in a hug. He looks a little stunned and steps back at the force. “Uh, hi to you to,” he gets out as he she pushes past him and into his apartment. Ashlyn hesitantly follows behind her.

 

Ali slaps a hand on Matt’s shoulder. “You’re wondering why we’re here. Well, I’m—“

 

“Drunk, apparently.” Matt finishes for her. Ali rolls her eyes, “I was going to say I’m here to cash in that favor you owe me, Mattie.”

 

“Is that so?” Matt asks skeptically, eyes flitting back and forth between the girls and noticing the blood-soaked, makeshift bandage covering Ashlyn’s hand.

 

“You see, my pal Ash here punched a guy in the face. For me! And although I didn’t need her to do it, it was nice of her in a violent kind of way. Anyway, that sucker,” she points to Ashlyn’s hand, “needs to be stitched up and as you mentioned previously I am drunk. And so is she. Which means we can’t go to the emergency room because you know who is working tonight and how badly things would end for us. You don’t want that for us, right?”

 

“Ali, you know I can’t do that. I could get in to SO much trouble. I don’t want your dad to kill _me_ either! Besides, I don’t even have the supplies necessary.”

 

“Ooohhh that is such _bullshit_ and you know it! I know you’ve got a suture kit here because that is exactly what you’ve been practicing lately with my dear old dad. No one is going to find out. I promise you Ashlyn and I won’t say a word about this. And it’s not like anyone is going to walk into your living room and catch you.”

 

Ashlyn is standing in the doorway, pale and swaying ever so slightly.

 

“This is such a bad idea.” Matt relents.

 

“Thank you, Mattie! You are a life saver!” Ali plants a kiss on Matt’s cheek. Ashlyn feels a fleeting moment of disappointment at this display before she goes back to panicking.

 

“Stop calling me that.” Matt says, narrowing his eyes at Ali.

 

“Mattie, Mattie, Mattie” Ali says bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet.

 

“Okay then Ali Cat…” Now he’s grinning at Ali as he watches her cringe at the nickname.

 

Ali lets out an annoyed huff. “Ugh. Fine. You win, Matthew.” She glares back at him.

 

“I’m glad we could reach an understanding, Alexandra” he replies with satisfied smile. “Okay, let’s get this over with so I can move on to pretending it never happened.” He gestures to Ashlyn to follow him as he walks into the kitchen. When she meets him at the sink and he’s unwrapping her hand, Matt takes in Ashlyn’s appearance and looks to Ali. “Al, you’re friend looks like she’s going to puke. I can’t do this if she’s going to puke.”

 

“I’m not going to puke,” Ashlyn grumbles quietly. “Pass out maybe, but not puke.”

 

Ali busts out laughing in disbelief, “Are you scared?!”

 

“I don’t like needles” Ashlyn mumbles, a little embarrassed.

 

“You are literally covered in tattoos. How on earth are you afraid of needles?!” Ali is still laughing at the petrified blonde.

 

“That’s different!” Now Ashlyn is feeling a little defensive. “The needles are different and it’s easier to pretend it’s something else. Besides, you can get a tattoo and still not like needles.”

 

“I’d join in on the making fun of you thing,” Matt says, “but this isn’t going to fun for you. Sorry about that.”

 

“Uh, w-what do you mean?” Ashlyn asks, her anxiety growing.

 

“I have a suture kit, but we aren’t in the hospital. I don’t have the anesthetic I’d usually use to numb your hand. I have a topical cream I can use but it will only help a little. Basically, it’s going to hurt like a bitch.” Matt explains as he carefully cleans Ashlyn’s hand.

 

“You know what, I don’t really think it’s that bad. Nothing some super glue can’t fix, right?” Ashlyn’s voice has risen a whole octave.

 

“No, you really do. That must have been some punch you threw.” Matt says with a small laugh.

 

“Well that’s because it was actually her second hit of the night, but the first one was with a wall. Ashlyn hasn’t exactly had the best night. Turns out her now ex-girlfriend is a terrible person who not only thinks it’s cool to sleep with other people, but also that it’s totally okay to break up over the phone.”

 

“Ouch. That sucks man.” Matt says with a pat to Ashlyn’s shoulder. She just stares at Ali with wide eyes. On the one hand she can’t believe Ali just blurted out the personal details of her life to a perfect stranger. On the other hand, she can’t help but feel sort of warm and fuzzy over the protective tone of Ali’s voice as she had explained.

 

“Yeah. Thanks.” Ashlyn tries to seem sincere and not just confused. “Can we just get this over with though?”

 

“Sure, just let me grab my kit.” Matt says as he steps into the other room. When he returns he makes quick, but thorough work of sanitizing the counter before laying out some kind of small sterile sheet over the top of it. He opens his suture kit so he has everything he needs and instructs Ashlyn to sit down on a stool by the breakfast bar where he’s set up. “I need you to lay your hand flat like this,” he gestures to show her exactly what he wants, “and keep your arm as still as you can. I’m still new at this so if it’s not perfect, you can’t sue me or anything. When I’m done here, you and I have never met. Got it?” Matt asks with a playful smile, but his tone conveys that he’s very much serious.

 

Before Ashlyn can respond, Ali does. “Oh come on, Matt! You’ve been learning from the best, I’m sure it’ll look great. But it’s just a small cut on her hand. Even if it’s not, it’s not like you’ll leave her horribly disfigured.”

 

“Hey now,” Ashlyn warns. “My hands are my best asset. I don’t want them any kind of disfigured.”

 

Ali rolls her eyes, “I’m fairly certain it’s not about what they look like, but how well you use them.” Ali smirks.

 

Matt was in the middle of prepping his needle when he stops at the comment. He looks between the girls, his eyebrows raised. “I really don’t think I want to know,” he quips.

 

“Oh geez, Matt!” Ali scolds. “She’s a keeper. A goal keeper.” She clarifies, although she’s not entirely sure why she felt it was necessary. “It’s not what you think.” She says with a shake of her head.

 

“It is a little bit.” Ashlyn mutters under her breath. She hadn’t intended anyone to hear her comment, but Ali seems to have caught it as her eyes briefly flicker to Ashlyn’s. She catches the hint of a smirk before Ali’s attention is back to Matt as he cleans Ashlyn’s hand with an alcohol wipe.

 

“Okay, Ashlyn, I’m going to start. I really need you to not pass out on me so try and focus on something else and I’ll try and be quick.” He looks at Ali, “You distract her or something.”

 

“Okay! Let’s see...” Ali taps her chin with a finger while she tries to come up with a way to distract Ashlyn.

 

As she ponders, Matt beings working on Ashlyn’s hand. The initial feeling of the needle piercing her skin isn’t so terrible at first, but the discomfort quickly builds to pain as he moves through the other side.

 

“Ow! Shit!” Ashlyn yells. She takes a very big deep breath, trying to breathe through the pain, but it’s only getting worse. Ashlyn makes the mistake of looking down at her hand, seeing the needle sticking out of her skin. “Oh God. Bad idea!”

 

 Ali puts a hand on her shoulder. “Hey! Look at me. This is a much better view.” She says using her hand to circle around her face. “I’ll tell you a joke! Okay, um,” She’s coming up blank and all she can think of are jokes from the popsicles she handed out to her girls at their last practice. “Why did the cookie go to the hospital?” Ashlyn let’s out another deep breath, unable to answer Ali. “Because he was feeling kind of _crumb_ -y! Get it?”

 

Ashlyn glares at her. “Hospital humor? At a time like this?” She gets out through gritted teeth.

 

Ali can’t help but laugh. “See! You still have your sense of humor! How about this one? What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?”

 

Ashlyn grimaces but still manages to roll her eyes. “Nacho cheese. Everyone knows that one.” At that point, Ashlyn is really feeling it and her anxiety over the matter is only making it worse and she begins to panic. “Fucking shit! This really hurts. I can’t, okay? I can’t do this!”

 

Ali takes in the look of panic and fear on Ashlyn’s face and her heart breaks just a little. Nothing about the situation held any more humor as she wracked her mind for something to make this wonderful near-stranger feel better. She met Ashlyn’s eyes and held her gaze for a second. Her eyes, though scared, were beautiful, just like the rest of her. Then without thinking Ali placed a hand on the back of Ashlyn’s neck and pressed their lips together. It was gentle and sweet, only lasting a couple of seconds. Ali pulled away slightly, their lips centimeters apart, her eyes still shut. Neither girl is sure who leaned in first, but soon their lips are together again, this time slightly parted and lasting just a little longer.

 

Ali pulls away and tries to lighten the moment, rubbing her lips together to even out the transferred coconut lip balm. “I can see why you like that stuff,” She says smacking her lips with a pop.

 

Ashlyn is just sitting there, wide-eyed, her mouth slightly agape. She hasn’t really registered what Matt and Ali are saying. She shakes her head in attempt to clear it like a magic 8 ball, but her mind can only come up with _reply hazy try again_. She’s not sure how long she had checked out, but she comes back as Matt tells her he’s almost done.

 

Ashlyn is sure it didn’t mean anything. Ali’s still pretty tipsy and straight girls get drunk and make out with girls all the time. This was probably just a silly distraction. Ashlyn knows she felt something, she knows that she liked the kiss, but she resolves it’s just another funny story to tell when the night is said and done.

 

“Just have Ali check your stitches in about two weeks. She’ll be able to cut them out for you.” Matt explains has he bandages Ashlyn’s hand. “You’ll need to keep this covered the next 48 hours to keep it clean during the initial healing process. After that just be careful because you really don’t want an infection. You’ll also want to take a little break from goalkeeping so you can keep the stitches intact. Other than that you’re good to go.”

 

Ashlyn thanks Matt with a handshake as she stands up. “Thanks for this. I really appreciate it.”

 

“Truth be told, I’d do anything for Ali. Even if I didn’t owe her a favor,” He turns to Ali and wraps her in a hug, “but we’re even so not another word about it, you hear me?”

 

Ali throws her head back in laughter, “You know that’s never going to happen, Mattie.” She winks at him.

 

_There it_ _is_ Ashlyn thinks as she sees the interaction. Ali and Matt must have something between them. To be honest, Ashlyn isn’t really sure why she feels so disappointed, she hardly knows Ali and she shouldn’t even be thinking about her like that after what happened with Casey. Ashlyn lets the memory of the kiss slip from her mind as she focuses her attention back on the conversation.

 

“I think we’ve taken enough of your Friday night, Matt. Thanks for your help. Really.” Ali says sincerely as she heads for the door.

 

“Don’t mention it,” Matt replies. “I mean that.” He gives a stern look to both girls before pulling the door open for them.

 

“Mention what?” Ali asks innocently. “Yeah, Goodnight, uh, what was your name again?” Ashlyn adds.

 

“Exactly.” Matt smiles and closes the door behind them.


	4. Good-Looking, Muscular Men

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Please continue to let me know what you think in the comments. I'm finding the feedback motivating as I continue to work on this story. I'm excited to share it with you! This one is a little shorter but Ashlyn is going to get some much needed confirmation, and Ali will spill a little more on her and Matt.
> 
> Quick question: Do you guys like me to reply to your comments, even if you don't ask questions? I want to let you know I'm reading them but don't want to be annoying? What's the ettiquette/preference on this?

As Matt closes the door behind them, Ashlyn heads down the hallway the way they came in, but quickly realizes Ali isn’t next to her. She turns to find Ali standing in the middle of the hallway, waiting for Ashlyn to notice.

 

Ali nods her head the other direction, “this way.”

 

Ashlyn gives her a bit of a questioning look but follows anyway.

 

“So where are you taking me now?” Ashlyn asks as the two enter a small back stairwell and start to climb up, instead of down.

 

“Oh, now we see the mob doctor.” Ali plays back. Her tone is serious, but the mischievous glint in her eye gives her away. “I’ve got to pay my rent somehow.” She adds with a shrug.

 

Ashlyn lets out a laugh. Ali is charming and she loves it. “Well I don’t suggest taking my liver tonight. I killed that bottle of whiskey you gave me.”

 

They reach the next floor up, and Ali holds the door open for Ashlyn pointing at the apartment nearest them. Ashlyn leans against the doorframe while Ali pulls out her keys to unlock it. “You’re sort of a quiet drunk. Are you always like this?” Ali inquires.

 

“It depends on the atmosphere of where I am when I’m drunk. I can get rowdy with the best of them. But if it’s quieter or more relaxed I tend to be a bit introspective I guess.” Ashlyn responds following Ali into the apartment. Both girls have come down a bit after all the excitement, but the effects of the alcohol still linger.

 

“Funny, most people I know are the opposite when alcohol is involved. Loose lips.” Ali says as she kicks her shoes off, haphazardly shoving them to the side by the breakfast bar and tossing her keys on the counter.

 

“Well yours sure are.”

 Ali’s jaw drops at the comment, but she’s grinning widely. “You’re not wrong.”

She can’t help but feel her heart rate pick up ever so slightly with the flirtatious comment.

 

While Ali flits about, cleaning up little things here and there for the sake of having company, Ashlyn takes in the apartment. The layout is nearly identical to Matt’s, with the kitchen, dining and living room all sharing one open space, but instead of just a row of windows against the far wall, Ali’s apartment has a set of French doors that lead out to what appears to be a small balcony. The door to Ali’s bedroom opens directly into the living room area. Her door is left open and although the light is off in her room, Ashlyn can make out that it’s a little less tidy than the main living space. A small hallway runs alongside the bedroom with three doors. Ashlyn will later learn they lead to a bathroom, a small laundry room, and a linen closet. Ali’s apartment feels much warmer and inviting than Matt’s. It’s light and bright with lots of whites and neutrals and clean lines. She sees a large print of blush colored peonies, hanging above a low white shelf. Atop the shelf sits a similarly blush colored record player, a set of speakers, and a wooden crate filled with records. She makes her way over and begins carefully looking through the records. The collection is eclectic with a mix of current music and older albums, spanning across many genres.

 

Ali walks up behind her, looking over Ashlyn’s shoulder as she reads the back of Bonnie Raitt’s _Luck of the Draw._ “Do you need to blast ‘I can’t make you love me’ and cry into my throw pillows?” Ali teases.

 

Ashlyn turns her head to meet her eyes, enjoying their close proximity. “It’s a good suggestion, but I think I’m feeling—“she flips through a few records before holding up Carole King’s _Tapestry_ “— this, instead.”

 

Ali raises her eyebrows in surprise, “I don’t know if I would have pegged you for a Carole King fan.”

 

“She’s not my go-to or anything, but I like a little bit of everything. And you know, _Tapestry_ is considered one of the greatest albums of all time.” Ashlyn removes the record from the sleeve and places it on the player as she speaks.

 

Ali moves to sit on the couch behind them, pulling her feet up and crossing her arms over her knees. “So. Did you leave a car at Alex’s?”

 

“Yeah. I wasn’t actually planning to stay. I was supposed to go see Casey. But I guess after spending the day with the love of her life she decided she needed to ‘do the right thing, for all of us’” she says, adding air quotes around the last part.

 

“Ah.” Ali says knowingly. “Hence the phone call.” Ash nods. “Well,” Ali continues, “unless you really, desperately need to get home tonight, I suggest you stay here and let me drive you back in the morning. You can call an Uber if you want. I don’t know about you but I am exhausted and still a little buzzed and just feel like putting on pajamas and eating a grilled cheese. And I make a really killer grilled cheese so I wouldn’t pass up this opportunity if I were you.”

 

“Hmm,” Ash pretends to think about it, “Why would I want to go home and make my own grilled cheese when a beautiful woman is offering to do it for me? I’d be a fool to turn you down.”

 

Ali blushes at her comment and rises to head to the kitchen to start prepping their sandwiches. Ashlyn stays on the couch, watching Ali move through the kitchen opening cupboards and digging around in the fridge. Suddenly a thought hits her. “Oh shit! I’m such a dick! I don’t think said thank you to Matt even once!”

 

Ali laughs, slightly muffled as her head is still shoved in the fridge. “I’m pretty sure you did, but I think your silence will be enough gratitude for Matt.” Ali starts to walk over to Ashlyn on the couch with four water bottles tucked under her arm. She sets them on the table in front of Ashlyn. “Here. These are for you.”

 

Ash looks up at her, “Yeah, about that, what do you have on him anyway?” Then she registers what Ali said about the water. “Wait. What? Why four?!”

 

“You need to flush your system to help avoid the hangover.” She says it like it’s obvious. “You’re going to pee _so much_. Bathroom is down the hall, second door.” She continues as she heads back to the kitchen and heats up the cast iron skillet. “As for Mattie, I may or may not have snuck an application for a specialty residency program led by my father, onto his desk, after someone missed the deadline.”

 

“Wow,” Ashlyn says, cracking the lid on a water, “That was really nice of you.”

 

“I also may or may not have been dating him at the time.” Ali adds.

 

“At the time?” Ashlyn can’t help herself. “You’re telling me Matt didn’t pass the Ali Krieger Certainty test?”

 

Ali laughs. “Matt’s a great guy and a wonderful friend. But he’s really _not_ my type.”

 

“What?! Good-looking, muscular men, with a brain to boot, aren’t your type?!” Matt was pretty picture-perfect on paper. Ashlyn wondered if Ali was a little more particular than she thought.

 

“I’ll take the brain. And good-looking and muscular _for sure_. But men? Not so much.”

 

Ashlyn chokes on the water she just took a sip of. “Oh!” she coughs out. Ali places a sandwich in the skillet with a sizzle. Ashlyn tries again. “Oh.” She says a bit too casually. Ali nearly doubles over in laughter.

 

“What? Shoving my tongue down your throat wasn’t a dead giveaway?”

 

“You know how certain straight girls are when they’ve had a few drinks.” Ash answers earnestly before playing along with Ali, “Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. I don’t remember any tongue! Please don’t tell me I was too panicked to remember the tongue.”

 

“Aw. That’s too bad for you.” Ali says with mock sympathy and a look to match. Ashlyn knows she’s joking. She remembers every detail of that kiss with perfect clarity.

 

“Let me know if you want any more of my coconut lip balm that you’re such a fan of.” Ash winks at her.

 

They’re both quiet for a few moments. The sizzle of the sandwiches in the skillet and the quiet music fill the room. Ali listens as Ashlyn quietly mumbles along as “Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow” plays.

 

_I’d like to know that your love_

_Is love I can be sure of_

_So tell me now and I won’t ask again_

_Will you still love me tomorrow_

“I think this is my favorite song on the album” Ali hands Ashlyn her sandwich and sits opposite her on the couch.

 

“Yeah?” Ashlyn is amused. “The song about the uncertainty of love?”

 

“But she’s asking for certainty. It’s a question. Maybe the answer is yes.” Ali doesn’t break eye contact with Ashlyn as she speaks. “I hope it is anyway.”

 

“Me too.” Ash stares right back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a link for "Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow" in case you need a reminder: https://youtu.be/m8KlYc0xG80


	5. Are You Trying to Drown Me?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! An extra chapter today! This a a rather short one, and I wanted to move things along just a little, so you get two today. You can expect the next one at the usual time (about Midnight PST). I think you'll be able to tell what this one is setting up for. Enjoy!

The two women spend time eating and talking and getting to know each other better. It’s easy. Ali constantly reminding Ash to drink her water, and Ashlyn complaining when she has to use the bathroom for the 7th time. They talk about what Astronomy is like, about their experiences playing soccer. Ali shares funny anecdotes about her girls’ team. She invites Ashlyn to come to practice when the next season starts up and Ashlyn is thrilled by the idea. Eventually Ali opens up the French doors and the two sit on the small concrete balcony, their legs stuck between the wrought iron bars, dangling down.

 

“So.” Ali starts, the mood shifting with her tone. “Do you want to talk about the Casey thing?”

 

Ashlyn let’s out a heavy sigh. “Honestly, thanks to you, I’ve been pretty distracted from it. But I know I need to deal with it. It fucking sucks. We didn’t love each other but I still trusted her. It’s this massive betrayal that hurts and makes me angry. But there’s also this huge sense of relief and that makes me feel guilty.”

 

“Hey, it’s okay” Ali says soothingly. “You feel whatever it is you feel. It’s valid. But don’t beat yourself up.”

 

“I guess I just didn’t realize until we were talking on our way over here how lost I was in that relationship. Even though I feel hurt and angry, I’m also glad that it’s over. I feel like I can breathe. And selfishly I’m glad that I’m not the one who had to do the hurting.”

 

“I don’t believe you would have lied like that.” Ali shakes her head seriously.

 

“I wouldn’t have. But relationships like what Casey and I were doing can get messy and complicated. What if one of us had really been in love with the other? There’s no graceful or painless way out then.”

 

Ali can’t help but think that Ashlyn is feeling guilty over something that never would have happened because Casey wasn’t in love with her. But Ashlyn is so gentle and serious in the moment that Ali lets it go.

 

“I think you’re a very sweet person, Ashlyn. Even after she did this awful thing to you, you still don’t want her to get hurt. If you can be that kind to her, maybe you can try and be that kind to yourself.” Ali smiles sincerely as she pats Ashlyn’s thigh.

 

“Thanks, Ali. I’m glad I met you tonight. I’m glad I met you at all. Don’t worry too much about me though. I’ve got a few days off next week so I’m going to go to my Grandma’s and spend a few days licking my wounds until Grandma tells me to pull it together and carry on.”

 

“She sounds like a smart lady. You must be close if her house is a safe haven, so to speak.”

 

“The greatest lady I know. I spent a lot of time at her house growing up. It feels more like home than my parents’ house ever did.”

 

They’re quiet again for a few moments, but it’s a nice silence. After Ashlyn yawns twice, Ali suggests it’s time to head to bed.

 

“Let me grab you something to sleep in.” Ali closes her bedroom door behind her and emerges a couple of minutes later wearing a pair of cotton shorts that hit her mid-thigh, and a plain white t-shirt. She hands Ashlyn a pair of grey sweatpants and navy blue t-shirt with a St. Mary’s Hospital logo on it.

 

“A hospital tee? How very apropos.” Ashlyn comments with an eye roll.

 

“I certainly thought so.” Ali is pleased Ashlyn caught her little joke. “I’m going to leave a washcloth and an extra toothbrush on the counter in the bathroom for you.” She heads down the hall.

 

Ashlyn takes her pants off right there in the living room, calling out to Ali as she pulls the sweats on, “Fair warning, I’m a cuddler!”

 

Ali walks in, a pillow and blanket under her arm, “Very cute.” She shoots Ashlyn a playful glare as she tosses the items on the couch. “I have an incredibly comfortable couch. There will be none of this ‘accidentally forced’ bed-sharing,” she finishes.

 

“Don’t worry, Al. I’m just teasing. But let me know if you change your mind.” Ash pulls her shirt off.

 

Before Ali can be taken aback, she’s distracted by the colorful tattoo running down Ashlyn’s side. It’s quite the contrast to the black ink of her others. “Oh wow! That’s beautiful.” She says gesturing to the artwork adorning her new friend.

 

Ashlyn looks down at her own tattoo before grinning widely at Ali. “Thanks. The butterflies are for my Grandma. She’s a cancer survivor and butterflies have always been a symbol of hope for her.”

 

“You really are sweet, aren’t you?” Ali asks rhetorically, heading into the kitchen. She returns and holds out a bottle of water and some ibuprofen to Ashlyn.

 

“ _More_ water?! Are you trying to drown me?!” Ashlyn jokes as she takes the pills and washes them down with the water.

 

“You will thank me in the morning. I promise.” Ali grabs the water back, washing down her own pills. “Speaking of tomorrow, what time should I take you back?”

 

“If I could be there by ten that would be great. I’m getting a haircut at eleven.”

 

“Gotta touch up those roots? Ali teases.

 

“Something like that…” Ash responds, a bit suspiciously.

 

“Are you going for a new look?”

 

“You’ll have to wait and see.” Ashlyn throws herself on the couch and makes a show of fluffing her pillow and situating her blanket. She grins up at Ali. “Goodnight!”

 

“Goodnight, Ash” Ali says, shaking her head. She turns the lights off as she makes her way to her room, muttering _“you’re something else”_ under her breath.


	6. Quite the Calling Card

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, this and the next chapter are on the shorter side so I'll try and post them both today. I hope you still enjoy them! 
> 
> Let me know your thoughts in the comments. Thanks!

In the morning, Ali makes Ashlyn breakfast. “It’s just eggs and avocado toast but you’ve now officially had everything I know how to make.”

 

“Limited culinary knowledge or not, I appreciate it.” Ash takes a big bite and shoves it in her mouth with a smile.

 

They eat together at the breakfast bar, the conversation flowing as easily as it did the night before. When they’re done, Ashlyn tries to wash the plates but Ali attacks her with a dishtowel until she gives up. After a cup of coffee on the balcony, Ali drives Ashlyn back to her car.

 

“That’s me right there. The jeep.” Ashlyn says pointing to a black jeep parked about a block away from Alex’s front door. “Thanks for the ride. And the couch. And, you know, knowing a guy.” She holds up her bandaged hand.

 

“Hey, anytime!” Ali pauses, “actually, maybe not _any_ time. I think there should be a little less blood the next time we hang out.”

 

“Good idea. Especially considering the next time we’re going to hang out is at work.”

 

Ali scoffs. “Work does not count as hanging out!”

 

“Will we not be in the same place? At the same time?” Ashlyn asks.

 

“We will. But it doesn’t count if you’re paid to be there.” Ali rolls her eyes.

 

“I suppose we’ll need to make other plans then.”

 

“I suppose we will.”

 

“I’ll see you in a few hours, when we will be _not_ hanging out at work.” Ashlyn opens the door and steps out of the car.

 

“Now you’ve got it!” Ali says with mock-encouragement. “I mean, if I can still recognize you after that haircut that is…”

 

Ashlyn just grins. “Bye, Ali.” She closes the door and heads for her car.

 

“Jerk.” Ali mutters, but her face is painted in an adoring smile.

 

When Ali returns home, she’s tired. They had stayed up well past two in the morning, and drinking always takes its toll, even with the water and Advil. She decides a little nap before work is a good idea so she settles herself on the couch. She shamelessly enjoys the scent of Ashlyn’s shampoo as she snuggles into the pillow she had used. She sets an alarm and on her phone and when she reaches to place it on the coffee table, she finds a familiar tube of coconut lip balm sitting there.

 

“What did I tell her? Never take your favorite lip gloss to a party.” Ali comments to herself, feeling smug. But as she examines the balm in her hand, she realizes there’s something written on it. A phone number. “Oh, she would!” Ali laughs out. She can’t help but pick her phone back up to send a quick text.

 

**Ali:** I guess I know the REAL reason you buy the 3-pack. Quite the calling card…

**Ashlyn:** I’m sorry but I’m going to need a name. I leave these all over the place. Amanda? Rachel? You could be anyone.

**Ali:** I don’t know if I’d admit that.

**Ashlyn:** Ah. Must be Ali.

**Ali:** You think you’re so cute, don’t you?

**Ashlyn:** Nah, but you seem to keep mentioning it...

**Ali:** I take back my comments about you being sweet.

**Ashlyn:** That’s right! You think I’m sweet too.

**Ali:** I certainly think your something. But my mother taught me name calling isn’t nice. So how’s that haircut going?

**Ashlyn:** How do you feel about the Mr. Clean look?

**Ali:** Super into it. Definitely go with that.

**Ashlyn:** If you insist…

**Ali:** You’re killing me!

**Ashlyn:** Hang in there.

 

Ali leaves it at that and closes her eyes, easily drifting off into sleep. Two hours later she is pulled from her slumber by the annoying chime of her alarm. She can’t help but check to see if Ashlyn has text her again during her nap. She’s a little disappointed to only find one from her mother, asking if she’s working tonight. She lets her mom know she’s working dinner to close and then hops in the shower to get ready.

 

Astronomy is on the nicer side as far as bars go and all the servers wear black and white dress clothes. Thankfully, it’s not like the bars she’s worked at in the past where they encourage female employees to wear low cut tops and short skirts. But the dress code doesn’t exactly prohibit such items either, even including shorts as long as they can be dressed up. Ali likes to walk the fine line between feeling like she looks great, and a little sexy, without putting herself on display for drunks to leer at. Today, Ali went with a black cotton-spandex pencil skirt with a white V-neck tee tucked in, and a light, almost sheer black button up over top. She wears the button up open, with the sleeves rolled passed her elbows, and finishes the look with a pair of black wedges and a skeleton key drop necklace. She pulls her hair back into a half pony and heads to work a little early.

 

“Hey Tom!” Ali calls to the brunette man in his late 40s standing behind the bar.

 

“Hey, Ali. You’re early.” He says glancing at his watch.

 

“Yeah. Just ahead of schedule today. Figured I’d take a look at scheduling until four. Unless you need me?”

 

“Actually, we were swamped for brunch today and everything needs to be stocked.” Tom looks a little guilty asking but Ali just nods happily and grabs the bar list, marking off what she needs to grab.

 

Ali makes three trips to the stock room in order to get the bar back in working order. On the third trip back she nearly slams into someone coming out of the office. “Shit, sorry!” She says taking in the woman in front of her. She’s wearing black doc martens, black skinny jeans, and a black tee that is loose around the torso, but tight around her biceps. Her hair is brown, cropped short, and perfectly coiffed. “Holy _shit_.” She adds in total shock, realizing who it is she had nearly run down.

 

“Aw, thanks, Al! That’s so sweet of you!” Ashlyn replies as if Ali has paid her a compliment.

 

“Sorry! I didn’t mean it! Well actually I did mean it just not in a bad way. In a you-look-really-amazing way!” Ali mumbles out quickly.

 

“Well in that case, thank you. That’s so sweet of you to say.” This time Ash says it with more sincerity.

 

Ali doesn’t even think before reaching her hand up to touch the soft baby hairs on the back of Ashlyn’s neck. She’s talking it all in, leaning from side to side to get a better look. Ashlyn just smiles and watches Ali’s face. When their eyes meet, Ali grabs her hand back and covers her mouth.

 

“God. I’m so sorry. Apparently I’ve never heard of personal space.” Ali says, embarrassed.

 

Feeling a little brave, Ash gently grabs Ali’s hand back and places it on the back of her neck again. “It’s okay. I really didn’t mind.” She smirks.

 

Ali laughs and takes her hand back again. “I’m stocking your bar. Come help with the last of it.”

 

As Ali turns into the stock room, Ashlyn follows, a goofy grin still plastered on her face.

 

Later, as Ashlyn is behind the bar prepping for the night, Tom joins her.

 

“You’re going to be alright tonight, Ashlyn?” he asks, eyeing her bandaged hand.

 

“Not my first rodeo, Tom. It’ll be a great night.”

 

“Well tending bar with a Saturday night crowd might be a little more difficult one-handed.”

 

“Would you believe me if I told you it wouldn’t be the first, or even the third, time?”

 

“I absolutely would. You’re something else, Ashlyn.”

 

“Hm. I said the same thing earlier.” Ali interjects as she quickly passes through to the stock room.

 

“You’ve got to watch out for that one.” Tom nods towards the doorway Ali had just passed through.

 

“I think I can handle that.”


	7. Patron Saint of White Wine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a another little one fore you. Thoughts? Feelings? Let me know! Thanks for reading!

About an hour after open, a woman who appears to be in her late 50s with short, gray hair walks up and takes a seat at the bar. Ashlyn greets her warmly.

 

“Hi there!” She places a napkin and a glass of water in front of the woman. “Can I get something started for you?”

 

“Oh gosh.” The woman glances at the wine list, a little overwhelmed. “I know I want white wine. And not chardonnay, but I’m not sure from there. I usually have my daughter order for me.”

 

“Do you prefer dry, sweet, or somewhere in between?”

 

“Definitely not sweet, but not too tart either.”

 

“Fruity, but not sweet?”

 

“That sounds about right.”

 

“I have a pretty nice New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc. Do you want to give that a try?”

 

“Oh sure. I trust you.” The woman nods in agreement.

 

Ashlyn places another napkin and a wine glass in front of the woman and pours her about an ounce of the wine.

 

The woman takes a sip and sighs happily. “Oh that’s just perfect. I’ll have a glass of that. Thank you, sweetheart!”

 

“I’m happy to help.” Ashlyn grins at her. She seems familiar, but she can’t quite place it. She decides it must be how warm the woman is. She seems like the kind of person who just naturally puts people at ease.

 

The two women chat as Ashlyn prepares an order for one of the servers. She’s just finished telling a story that has both of them in stitches when Ali walks up and puts an arm around the older woman’s shoulder.   


“Hi, mom! Guess I know why you asked about my schedule tonight.”

 

“Oh Alex, sweetie!” the woman wraps the girl in a hug. “I had a meeting today and figured if I was in town I should come see my sweet girl.”

 

“I’m glad you did!” Then looking to Ashlyn, Ali places her order. “A whiskey sour and Moscow mule.” Ali notices the wine in front of her mom. “Did you order your own wine, mom?”

 

“Of course not! This little darling here helped me. She’s very good.” Deb points to Ashlyn who is starting Ali’s drinks.

 

“Don’t let her hear you say that. It’ll go to her head.” Ashlyn scoffs, but Ali ignores it. “Anyway, that ‘little darling’ is my friend Ashlyn. Ashlyn, this is my mom Deb.” Ali introduces the two.

  
“It’s nice to meet you, Deb.” She starts to hold out her bandaged hand, and then catching herself, sticks out the other, offering a handshake.

 

Deb takes it but looks concerned. “Oh honey, what happened?”

 

“Oh. Uh. I, um—“ Ashlyn struggles to come up with a suitable answer but Ali cuts her off.

 

“Funny story. Ash punched Collin Hayworth in the face last night.”

 

Ashlyn’s eyes go wide with Ali’s honesty. She’s worrying about what Deb will think when the older woman let’s out a loud laugh. “Ha! Good for you, sweetheart! It’s about damn time somebody did.”

 

Now it’s Ash who lets out a laugh as she goes back to work making Ali’s drinks. Ali and her mom catch up for a minute while Ashlyn finishes up.

 

“Look at you, Alex. You always look so cute. But a little extra today, am I right?”

 

Ali shrugs, trying not to blush at the fact that her mother caught her extra effort. “I don’t know. Maybe a little.”

 

Ashlyn places the drinks on the bar and Ali grabs them. “Sorry I can’t stick around, mom. You know how Saturdays get. But I’ll sneak over when I can.” She leans in a kisses her mom on the cheek.

 

“Don’t worry about it, sweetheart. I just wanted to see your pretty face and I did, so I’m happy. I’ll just finish my wine with Ashlyn here.”

 

“I don’t know if I trust the two of you but okay” Ali shoots a warning look at her mother as she walks off.

 

The rest of the night goes about as expected. The dinner rush keeps everyone on their toes and they don’t see much of a lull before the late night crowd comes in full force. Ali handles everything with poise and grace. Ashlyn manages to stay on top of drink orders, and still converse with customers, even with her injured hand. About one AM things start to quiet down and Ashlyn catches herself watching Ali as she works. She not only admires how beautiful Ali looks, but also how wonderful she is with her customers. The way her nose crinkles when her smile is its most genuine. How she can always distinctly hear her laughter above all the noise. She might also have appreciated how great Ali’s legs look in that skirt. She finds herself reflecting back to the night before and meeting Ali in that garage. She thinks about how it felt when Ali called her words brave and beautiful. Ashlyn has been called a lot of things in her life: sensitive, intense, aggressive. Beautiful was rare, and hard for Ashlyn to believe when she did hear it. But for some reason, when Ali said it, she felt it. Sure, a few girlfriends in the past may have told her she looked beautiful, but Ali had meant something entirely different.

 

Ashlyn has always been the kind of person who follows her instincts. If it feels right, she does it. If it doesn’t she won’t. Consequently, she’s both a little stubborn and a little impulsive. Sometimes things backfire and end up blowing up in her face. But she’s also the kind of person who tries not to have any regrets, and learn from every experience. So even if something went up in flames, she usually feels like she’s gained something from the experience. She’s struggling with her feelings for Ali though. She knows she has them, and they’re strong considering she’s known Ali all of a day. But she knows you can’t go from a breakup one day, to asking an almost-stranger out the next. It isn’t fair to anyone involved. Her impulsivity is telling her timing be dammed. She should go for it and see what happens. If Ali feels special, why should she try and deny it? But another part of her has to think about Ali, the girl who must be certain, and how scary it would be for her to jump blindly into Ashlyn’s world.

 

Ashlyn resolves, then and there, watching as Ali crosses the room, shooting her a quick smile as she passes the bar, that her goal will be to give Ali certainty. She’ll prove to her that she can rely on her, and trust her. She’ll take some time to really put Casey behind her, and she’ll focus on being Ali’s friend. And if she’s lucky, eventually, she’ll show Ali that she’s worth the risk.

 

Similarly, Ali has been thinking a lot about Ashlyn tonight as well. She’s stolen glances whenever she could to watch Ashlyn laughing and joking with customers. She’s admired the charm and sincerity that oozes off her with every interaction, how carefully an intently she works on every drink, and how she can’t help but smile whenever she passes the bar. She also maybe took a moment to appreciate those arm muscles when she’s using a cocktail shaker. Ali found herself reflecting on the events of last night and how freeing it felt to talk to Ashlyn. Ali is the kind of person who will give you everything if she trusts you, but earning her trust is a challenge. She’s not cold or closed off with people, she just can’t be vulnerable until she knows she won’t get hurt. There’s a line between spontaneity and acting impulsively that she never crosses. That was until last night. Ali kissing Ashlyn was impulsive. She didn’t think about the consequences or implications, she just did. And if she were being honest, it felt amazing. Something about Ashlyn made her feel bold. She wondered if maybe when you find the right person, embracing uncertainty isn’t so scary. Maybe being in love was giving someone the power to hurt you by being vulnerable, but trusting them not to.

 

Ali knows that love is still miles away, but she wonders how fast the fall might be.

 

Around 1:30 in the morning, because it’s slowed down and she helped out before her shift, Tom tells Ali she should take a break until closing duties start at 2:00. She happily hops up on a barstool in front of Ashlyn.

 

“Seltzer. Two limes.”

 

“ _Two_ limes? How indulgent.”

 

“I think I deserve it.”

 

“Of course you do.” Ash sets the glass in front of Ali, but not before piercing a third lime with a pink cocktail umbrella and sticking it in the drink.

 

Ali let’s out a laugh that is eerily similar to that of her mother. “Ha! Where did that come from? We don’t even serve drinks with those!”

 

“I have my secrets.”

 

“About cocktail umbrellas?”

 

“It’s not about the secrets themselves, but the allure of mystery.” Ashlyn leans forward, crossing her arms on the bar top to look Ali in eyes.

 

“Right. Of course. Very alluring.” Ali take a long sip of her water.

 

“Okay fine. I noticed a box of them in the back earlier, and pulled them out when that group with the three little girls came in. I put cherries on them for their Shirley Temples.”

 

“There you go being sweet again.”

 

Ashlyn grins at her. They fall silent for a moment while Ash cleans up and Ali sips her water. It’s nice to be quiet a moment after the busy shift.

 

Ashlyn finally breaks the silence. “So your mom is a real kick. She’s this really kind, sweet lady on the surface but then has this wicked sense of humor!”

 

“Now you know where I get it.” Ali sasses with a hair flip.

 

“I guess you if consider popsicle stick jokes _wicked_.”

 

Ali gasps in offended shock. “That’s it. Cute and sweet are both officially retracted!”

 

“There you go calling me cute again…”

 

Ali rolls her eyes. “Well it seems my mother took a liking to you too. She’s already sent me about 12 texts tonight and referred to you as ‘ _lil cutie’_ and her ‘ _patron saint of white wine_.’”

 

“Thank God! What a relief. Do you know how nerve-wracking it is to meet the parents?!”

 

Ali laughs in response but there’s a little truth in her statement. Ali’s glad that her mom likes Ashlyn so much.

 

“Don’t get ahead of yourself. You haven’t met Dr. Krieger yet.”

 

_Yeah_ , Ashlyn thinks. _Yet_.

 


	8. So What's the Deal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I only have two more chapters after this one until you're caught up with me, so the updates will be a little slower. The story isn't done yet but I need a little time to write. Let me know what you're looking forward to? Also, I've gotten a few comments from you guys about liking the banter. Please feel free to share any favorite lines with me, past or present! And thanks again for reading!
> 
> Enjoy!

Ashlyn and Ali work together again on Sunday, this time with Alex. It’s a quieter day than the night before but still busy and all three women enjoy the new dynamic at work. Ali got off earlier than the two bartenders and decided to stay for a shift drink, even letting Alex and Ashlyn try out some new concoction they’d come up with. It’s actually pretty good.

 

“So Ali, Ash tells me you’re going to start training with us. What changed your mind?” Alex is being smug. She’s got a pretty good idea of what, or who, changed Ali’s mind.

 

“It’s harder to say no when I have two of you breathing down my neck about it now. I’m not committing to tryouts though. Just training.”

 

“Nothing quite like peer pressure!” Ashlyn holds her hand up to high five Alex.

 

“Will you be joining me tomorrow? I need a work out buddy since Ash is going to be gone!” Again, Alex is trying to play with Ali a little bit. She knows she’ll somehow be busy until Ashlyn returns.

 

“Oh. Um, maybe.” Ali tries not to let it show that her agreement was mostly an excuse to spend more time with Ashlyn. “This week is pretty busy, but I’ll let you know. Thursday is probably better.”

 

“Huh. Thursday. You’ll be back by Thursday won’t you Ash?”

 

“Sure will. I’m driving back Wednesday night.”

 

“Guess it’s settled then. Thursday morning at 7:00!” says Alex excitedly.

 

Ali groans at the early hour and soothes her displeasure with another sip of her drink.

 

Ashlyn pats Ali’s shoulder from across the bar. “You’ll be alright, champ.”

 

Ali ends up staying the rest of shift and leaving with Ashlyn and Alex. Ali and Ashlyn stand by Ashlyn’s Jeep, talking a moment, when Alex pulls up beside them with her window down.

 

“Sorry to interrupt whatever this is” Alex gestures between them, leaning out her car window. “But I almost forgot to tell you about my Halloween party! Saturday the 29th! Costumes are required or I’m kicking you out. But you have like the whole month to figure it out so they better be good!”

 

Ali lets out a little squeal. “I love costume parties! I can’t wait!”

 

“I already have the perfect costume planned out.” Ashlyn adds.

 

“Great.” Alex nods. “Alright. Carry on!” She waves at the girls and drives off.

 

“So what is this perfect costume?” Ali asks.

 

“Nope. Don’t even try.” Ashlyn folds her arms across her chest.

 

“Ugh. This again.” Ali rolls her eyes. “Fine.”

 

Ashlyn starts to say something when her phone buzzes with an incoming text. Her face falls serious as she quickly responds.

 

“Hey, sorry Al. I’ve got to get going.”

 

“Yeah, me too. Everything okay?” Ali is concerned by Ashlyn’s sudden mood change.

 

“Yeah, it’s fine. I just have to make a stop before I head to my Grandma’s.”

 

“You’re driving down tonight? It’s kind of late isn’t it?”

 

“A little, but Grandma is a night owl and it’s only about an hour. But I’ll text you when I get there if you want?”

 

“Would you?”

 

“Absolutely. I’ll see you Thursday.” Ashlyn hesitates a moment. She doesn’t know if a hug is awkward but they’ve already kissed so a handshake isn’t right either. Thankfully Ali easily wraps her arms around her, solving her dilemma.

 

“I’ll see you Thursday. Have a good time!” Ali turns and starts to walk off but Ash stands, one hand on the open door, watching.

 

“Wait” Ashlyn calls after her. “I’m going to see Casey. That’s the stop I have to make. I don’t want you to think—“

 

“Hey, Ashlyn. It’s okay.” Ali cuts her off. “We literally met two days ago. You don’t owe me anything. I understand.”

 

“I know. But I wanted you to know.” Ashlyn can’t bring herself to look at Ali, so she keeps her eyes focused on the ground.

 

“Thank you for telling me.”

 

Ashlyn finally meets Ali’s eyes.

 

“I hope it goes well with Casey. You can text me if you need to talk.”

 

“I will.” Ashlyn nods.

 

“Okay, then get out of here!” Ali says with a smile to lighten the mood. “I’ll see you soon.”

 

Three and a half hours later, Ashlyn pulls up in front of her grandmother’s house. The front door is already open by the time she’s out of the car. Her grandmother’s silhouette watching her from behind the screen door as she grabs her bag and makes her way up the walk.

 

“Hi there, honey. I’m so happy you’re here.” The elderly woman kisses Ashlyn on the cheek before ushering her inside.

 

“This is exactly where I need to be, Grandma. I’m so glad I’m here.”

 

On Tuesday evening, Ashlyn’s grandmother finds her standing in the middle of the kitchen with a glass of water in one hand and her phone in the other.

 

“Honey, you haven’t moved in five minutes. Sit down or move on!” Grandma gently scolds.

 

Ashlyn blushes in embarrassment. “Oh. Sorry. I guess I got distracted.” She pulls a chair out for her grandmother before sitting down at the kitchen table herself.

 

“Tell your friend you’ll text her back in a little bit. I want you to talk to me a while.”

 

Ashlyn puts her phone down and turns in her chair to face her grandmother. “Of course, Gram. I’m sorry for ignoring you.”

 

“Is that Ali you’ve been talking to?” Grandma points to Ashlyn’s phone.

 

“Yeah.” Ashlyn can’t wipe the goofy smile off of her face.

 

“And you have feelings for this girl?” She states more than asks.

 

Ashlyn sighs. “I do. But we’re just getting to know each other. I haven’t even known her a week yet. I really want to just know her better.”

 

“Honey, if you had been single when you met her, would you have asked her out by now?”

 

“Of course. I would have asked her out the night we met. But it’s so much more complicated than that, Grandma. I wasn’t single when I met her. Well, technically I was, but only by a few minutes. I don’t want her to think she’s just some rebound. I want to be really sure that these feelings are coming from this connection we have, and not just because it feels so much better and lighter than what I had with Casey. If we rushed into this and she ended up getting hurt? God. I couldn’t do it.”

 

“Hmm.” Grandma is quiet for a moment. “It seems like you care about her an awful lot already.”

 

“I do. But I need to be certain. For her.”

 

“And what about for you?”

 

“I think I need to remember that I don’t have to jump head first into everything just to ensure that it won’t slip away. I think I need to trust that good things can stick around. It’s funny because the night I met Ali we were talking about love and I asked her how you knew you’d found the one and she told me you know because it lasts. It survives. And I really feel like it doesn’t matter if we need to take some time to get to know each other because it’ll still be there. I’m not trying to say I’m in love with a girl I’ve only know a few days. But I guess when you think about it, everyone who is in love now had a time when they only knew each other a few days, right?”

 

Grandma nods and the room falls silent again.

 

“You went and saw Casey before you came down here.” Grandma states.

 

“I did.”

 

“And you talked with her.”

 

“I did.”

 

“And how did you leave it?”

 

“It was strange. After talking with her it was just so apparent that what she has with this other woman is so different than what we had. She lights up when she talks about her. On the one hand, it made me sad to see so clearly how I wasn’t enough for her. But at the same time, it’s not like she was ever really enough for me either. I cared about her. I cared about her happiness. And she seems happier now than she ever was with me. I just wish she would have talked to me. I would have let her go.”

 

“She had no business treating you that way. She took advantage of your kindness and let her fear keep her from doing the right thing.”

 

“I think I know that. But as backwards as it seems, knowing that she’s actually in love this time makes it easier. It highlights how wrong we were for each other and how much more we both deserve. Honestly, I don’t even want to feel hurt and angry over it anymore. I just want to move on. But I feel like people expect me to wallow in the betrayal and curse her name. I’ve lost a lot of respect for her with how she handled things but I don’t want to waste any more time on it.”

 

“Darling, you are in charge of what you feel and don’t you ever let anyone make you think otherwise. It is _your_ life. If you’re ready to move past this, then good riddance! You never have to do or feel anything just because you think it’s expected of you.”

 

“You’re the greatest lady I know. I mean that.” Ashlyn says as she wraps an arm around her grandmother’s shoulder.

 

That same Tuesday night, Ali and Alex are at the bar playing hangman on a cocktail napkin.

 

“Tequila.” Ali says. “You’re just picking words within eyesight now.”

 

“I’m out of ideas.” Alex shrugs and crumples the napkin up, tossing it in the trashcan. She turns back to Ali with a mischievous look on her face. “So, what’s the deal with you and Ashlyn?”

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. There’s no ‘deal.’”

 

“Bullshit, Al. You guys are constantly staring at each other and bringing the other one up. I should show you the text conversation I had with Ashlyn yesterday. She brings you into everything. I could be like ‘help, I cut my arm off!’ and she’d reply ‘Oh! Ali has arms!’”

 

“Very funny. It’s not that bad. I mean Ashlyn would totally help you if you cut your arm off.”

 

Alex bursts out laughing. “You’re doing it right now!”

 

“I am not!” Ali says indignantly. “We were already talking about her!”

 

“Whatever. It’s time to spill.”

 

Ali huffs but relents. “Fine. I like her. A lot.”

 

“I knew it! I was _so_ right about you two.’

 

“We’re still getting to know each other. Wait, what do you mean you were right?”

 

“I knew the two of you were going to hit it off. I mean I had resigned myself to the fact that you’d have to be just friends because of Casey, but I knew you guys were going to get along.”

 

“I kissed her.”

 

“What?!” Alex shrieks. “You mean _she_ kissed _you_ , right?”

 

“I mean that I was a little drunk and she was a little drunk and she was so panicked and so adorable and it just sort of happened.” Ali rambles.

 

“I can’t believe Ali Krieger did something so impulsive!” Alex says with genuine surprise in her voice.

 

“I can hardly believe it either. But there is something different about Ashlyn. I am always so thorough and careful. I go on first dates with a mental checklist a mile long. And with Ash everything goes right out the window. It’s like I don’t want to think about any of it, I just want to _do_.”

 

“Do what, exactly?” Alex says suggestively.

 

“Stop.” Ali whines. “You know what I mean.”

 

Alex gets serious a moment, “I do know. I feel like you’ve spent all this time trying to find someone who fits into this box where you don’t get hurt, but you haven’t stopped to factor in happiness. Being happy is probably the scariest, most dangerous place you can be. But I promise you it’s worth it.”

 

“Maybe you’re right.” Ali muses. “And maybe I’m ready to start being a little more impulsive. Thinking less, feeling more.”


	9. You're the Love of My Life, Krieger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really had a lot of fun writing these next few chapters so it is my sincere hope that you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them.
> 
> Let me know your favorite lines/parts/things in comments! Thanks for reading!

Ali and Ashlyn see each other almost every day for the next three weeks. It’s mostly because of work or training, but both women have found plenty of excuses to spend time together outside of that. It becomes pretty standard for Ashlyn to go over to Ali’s place after training for late morning coffee on the balcony. Sometimes she even comes over when they don’t train. This quickly becomes the highlight of Ali’s day. The small concrete balcony isn’t big enough for furniture, so the pair always sit side-by-side on the ground with their legs dangling over the side through the bars. Sometimes they chatter away for a couple of hours, losing track of time entirely. Other days they sit quietly, watching the world move around them.

 

Late morning coffee is also where Ashlyn and Ali learn the most about each other. Ali learns about what it was like for Ashlyn growing up in an unstable environment where addiction issues ran deep. She realizes that Ashlyn had learned at a young age that if you wanted something, you had to go out and get it yourself. She could see how a young girl with a lot of feelings she maybe couldn’t place yet, would get herself into a little bit of trouble. Ashlyn didn’t always have someone to reign her in, or point out what she should take away from a given experience. But Ashlyn was smart and learned to see the value in everything on her own, and stayed close to the people who cared enough to protect her.

 

Ashlyn learns about how dedicated and driven Ali is with everything important to her. She learns about Ali’s parents’ divorce and how hard it was when her dad left. Ali tries to downplay her experiences because she had a loving family. But Ashlyn can see that even if both her parents loved and supported her, it still hurt deeply when her dad became less constant in her life. She learns about Ali’s near-death experience, and her relationship with her brother. How Ali learned to love through even the darkest times when her brother battled his own addition issues. Ashlyn finds it pretty easy to understand how Ali became the kind of person who needed certainty in her life.

 

It’s about 10am on a sunny October morning and Ali is making French press coffee when Ashlyn opens the front door.

 

“Good morning!” Ali chirps happily, but doesn’t look up from pouring the coffee.

 

“Hey.” Ash sounds tired.

 

Ali looks up at the short-haired woman and notices that she looks a little pale. Ashlyn has tried to mask how she feels by wearing make-up and dressing up a bit. She’s wearing dark blue jeans and a gray, short-sleeved button down. But despite her efforts, Ali can tell something is off.

 

“Are you okay, Ash?” She asks, concern evident in her voice.

 

“Yeah.” Ashlyn forces a smile. “I’m great. Just a little tired today. Nothing a little coffee can’t fix!”

 

Ali doesn’t really buy it but hands Ashlyn her mug anyway and they head to the balcony. Ashlyn takes a little more time than usual to sit down, grimacing and trying to stifle a small groan as she does. Ali eyes her suspiciously.

 

“Are you sure you’re alright?”

 

“Promise.”

 

The pair sit and talk for over an hour when Ali’s phone alerts her to a text. Ashlyn leans her forehead against the metal bars in front of her and closes her eyes.

 

“Alex wants to know if we want to go to a concert tonight at Mix?”

 

“Huh?” Ashlyn looks up slowly. “Sorry. I missed that.”

 

“Alex wants to know if we want to go see some band play at Mix tonight.” She repeats.

 

“Oh yeah. That sounds fun.” Ashlyn sounds exhausted.

 

“Okay, you clearly are not feeling well. Please come inside and lay down for a little while.” Ali’s tone conveys that it’s command more than a suggestion.

 

Ashlyn slowly stands and makes her way into the living room. Ali grabs her empty mug, and Ashlyn’s nearly full one, and follows behind. Ashlyn drops down on the couch and closes her eyes.

“Just like 20 minutes, okay? Then we can go get lunch or something.” Ashlyn tries to sound casual.

 

She falls asleep quickly and Ali notices when she wraps her arms tighter around herself and turns into the couch like she’s trying to keep warm. She grabs a blanket and throws it over her. Ali places a hand on Ashlyn’s forehead and can tell she’s warm. She decides she’s going to run to the store quickly while Ashlyn sleeps to get some soup and Gatorade, quietly grabbing her keys and slipping out the front door.

 

Ashlyn is still asleep when Ali gets back so she puts her things away and starts working on lunch. By the time she’s finished she can hear Ashlyn stirring on the couch. She carefully carries over a bowl of soup, with a Gatorade tucked under her arm.

 

“Here, I made you soup.” She sets the bowl in front of Ashlyn and hands her the bottle “okay, so I didn’t so much make it as I poured it in a pot and heated it up, but still. Soup for you.”

 

Ashlyn’s cheeks are flushed and her mascara is smudged a bit under her eyes. Her lips swollen from sleep and there is a faint pillow mark on the left side of her face. She still looks tired but she’s smiling sweetly up at Ali as she picks up the bowl.

 

“Thanks, Ali. You didn’t have to do this. I should probably get out of here so you don’t catch whatever this is.” Ashlyn says sincerely. She takes a tentative spoonful of the soup.

 

“No, it’s okay! I don’t mind having you here. If I get sick, you can take care of me.” She teases.

 

After a few bites and sips, Ashlyn sets the bowl down in front of her. “I’m sorry. I guess I’m not really that hungry.” Ashlyn looks guilty.

 

“Hey, don’t worry about it. It’s from a can, remember?”

 

Ashlyn just nods. Ali notices that she has a hand on her right side and looks pained, not just sick. “Does your side hurt?”

 

Ashlyn cringes and nods yes.

 

“Where, just your right side?”

 

“Mostly, yeah. It felt more in the middle earlier but now it’s just the side.”

 

“How long have you been in pain?”

 

“I woke up with it about six this morning.”

 

“Ashlyn! Fever, lack of appetite, and right-side abdominal pain? I really think we need to get you to the hospital.” Ali is serious.

 

“What? It’s probably just a bug.” Ashlyn lets out a little groan.

 

“Do you need help putting your shoes on?” Ali isn’t taking no for an answer.

 

About twenty minutes later they pull into the emergency room parking lot. After Ali gets out of the car she notices that Ashlyn has her door open, but is sitting hunched over, her legs out the side. When she doesn’t budge, Ali moves around to help her out of the car, but as she leans in to put an arm around her, Ashlyn holds a hand out to stop her. Ali assumes Ashlyn is being stubborn and trying to be tough.

 

Ali leans in again, “Please let me hel-“

 

It’s too late.

 

She shrieks and jumps back as Ashlyn throws up all over her. Ali’s shirt is covered, while Ashlyn’s remains mostly unscathed.

 

“Oh my God.” Ashlyn whispers out, mortified.

 

“No! Please don’t feel bad. It’s my fault. You tried!”

 

“Oh my God.”

 

“Let’s just get you inside, okay?” Ali slips an arm around Ashlyn’s waist as they walk and starts to gently rub the small of her back to comfort her.

 

“Hey Jackie,” Ali greets the nurse at the desk. “Do you think I could get an emesis bag?”

 

“Looks like you could have used one earlier, huh?” The woman behind the desk smiles sympathetically as she hands over the bag.

 

“What gave it away?” Ali says sarcastically.

 

“Sorry, sweetheart.” The nurse turns to Ashlyn. “What’s your name, hon? Do you have your ID and insurance card on you?”

 

Ashlyn nods and pulls her wallet from her back pocket but simply sets it on the counter as she turns away holding the blue plastic bag to her mouth, heaving into it.  Ali opens her wallet and pulls out the ID and insurance card, handing them over. The nurse makes quick work of entering in her information and handing the items back.

 

“Okay Ashlyn, I’m going to have you step right in there to the right.” She points to a door next to the desk that leads to where they intake patients. Ashlyn nods before holding the bag to her mouth again.

 

Once in the intake room, another nurse, who also appears to know Ali, starts asking questions. Ashlyn answers as best she can, but Ali has to fill in here and there. The nurse leads them back to a room, stopping at the nurse’s station briefly to ask someone to call Dr. Krieger.

 

“Okay Ashlyn, I’m going to have you change into this gown,” she tosses it on the end of the bed, “and then you just try and make yourself comfortable. Your nurse will be back in a few minutes to get your IV started.”

 

Ashlyn’s face goes even more pale, if that’s possible. Ali notices and looks around for another emesis bag.

 

“Are you going to be sick again? Crap! Where are the bags?!” Ali starts to open the cupboards by the computer somewhat frantically.

 

“No. Ali. It’s okay. It’s the IV.”

 

“Oh.” Ali feels a little embarrassed for getting so worked up. “I know it sucks, but I’ll distract you!”

 

“It won’t be nearly as fun this time considering I’ve been puking.”

 

Ali laughs a little and steps closer to Ashlyn who is just sitting on the end of the bed with her gown in her lap.

 

“Here.” Ali starts to unbutton Ashlyn’s shirt for her. When she reaches the bottom she gently slides it off her shoulders and lays it over the arm of the chair in corner. Ashlyn is wearing a white t-shirt as well, which she slowly pulls over her head and hands to Ali. Ali goes to lay it on the chair when Ashlyn stops her.

 

“Wait. You put it on. I know it’s kind of sweaty, which is gross, but it seems less gross than vomit.”

 

“You have a point.” Ali agrees and quickly, but carefully pulls her own shirt over her head, avoiding letting the fabric touch her face. She may feel like shit right now, but that doesn’t stop Ashlyn from stealing a quick glance at Ali as she stands in the room, in only her bra and leggings. Ali pulls the shirt over her head without ever noticing Ashlyn’s gaze.

 

Ali helps Ashlyn step out of her jeans and into the gown, moving around her to tie the back. Just as Ashlyn has settled herself in the bed, a slight, young, woman with brown hair pulled back, steps into the room with a knock.

 

“Hi Ashlyn. I’m Kelley. I’m going to be your nurse. How are you—“

 

“Kelley!!” Ali leaps at the woman and throws her arms around her.

 

“Hey, Al! I heard you might be in here. Glad you’re not the one in the bed though.”

 

“Gee, thanks.” Ashlyn mutters.

 

“Oops.” Kelley grins at Ashlyn unapologetically. “So. How are you feeling?”

 

“Pretty shitty actually.”

 

“Well you don’t look it. Your hair is _fantastic_.” Kelley compliments. Ashlyn likes her immediately and appreciates that she’s got a sense of humor and isn’t treating her like a child just because she’s sick.

 

“Thanks, man. It really complements the gown, don’t you think?”

 

“Oh you’re _killin’_ it. But let’s see if we can get you feeling as good as you look, okay?”

 

“If you insist.”

 

“Kelley’s the best nurse in this whole place. You’re lucky to have her.” Ali assures.

 

“I pay her to talk to me up.” Kelley jokes while prepping to start Ashlyn’s IV. “I’m going to start an IV in your arm so that we can give you medicine and fluids. You’re nauseated and can’t keep anything down so we might as well not put anything down.”

 

Ashlyn nods in understanding. Ali leans in and whispers something in Kelley’s ear, who nods as she takes in the information. Ali drags the chair from the corner of the room closer to Ashlyn’s bed and sits down.

 

“I’m going to have you focus on Ali while we do this okay?” Ashlyn looks to Ali as Kelley ties the tourniquet around her arm. “I’m just going to get the supplies ready.” Kelley carries on opening her supplies and cleaning Ashlyn’s arm while making conversation.

 

“Do you play soccer like Ali?” Kelley asks.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“What position do you play?”

 

“I’m a goalkeeper.”

 

“Oh wow. So you’re a little wild then.”

 

“You could say that.”

 

“Do you play on Ali’s rec team?”

 

“She hasn’t invited me yet. But I’m training to try out for the pro team that’s starting up next season.”

 

“Oh wow! That’s awesome. Okay, here’s the poke.” Kelley had hardly finished her warning before the needle was in Ashlyn’s arm.

 

“There we go! The doctor wants us to draw some bloodwork. This will tell us if there is any kind of infection” Kelley attaches a vial to the hub and draws Ashlyn’s blood. She does this two more times before setting the vials on a tray beside her. Then she flushes the line and hooks up the tubing. “Now I’m going to get some fluids started since you haven’t been able to keep anything down, so you’re probably a little dehydrated. Then I’m going to give you some medication for the pain. It might make you feel a little sleepy or out of it, but you should start feeling better soon.” Kelley explains.

 

“Alright, Ashlyn,” Kelley says after starting the Saline and Dilaudid. “The doctor is going to come in and check you shortly, and he’s probably going to want to do some imaging. Just hang tight for a little bit and let that medication kick in, okay?”

 

“Well I had plans, but I guess I can hang out here for little while.” Ashlyn deadpans.

 

“I’ll be back in a little bit. Keep her out of trouble, Ali!” Kelley calls over her shoulder as she exits the room.

 

The pain meds kick in fairly quickly and Ashlyn starts to feel a lot better, but she also starts to feel a little loopy. She feels like she’s only hearing her thoughts for the first time as they’re coming out of her mouth. Soon there is a knock at the door and a handsome older man with gray hair and a white lab coat, enters the room. He stops for a pump of hand-sanitizer from the wall dispenser and rubs his hands together before extending one to Ashlyn.

 

“Hello, Ashlyn. I’m Dr. Krieger.” He introduces himself.

 

“Krieger!” Ashlyn exclaims in surprise as she shakes the man’s hand. “That’s Ali’s last name.”

 

“Hey, kiddo.” Dr. Krieger directs at Ali in the chair.

 

“Hi Daddy.” Ali says with a small laugh.

 

“Oh. Right. Dad’s a doctor. I knew that.” Ashlyn says like it’s obvious.

 

Ashlyn turns to Ali, “I’m trying to make a good first impression. Don’t tell your dad I puked on you.” She half whispers. Ashlyn then immediately turns back to Dr. Krieger. “Full disclosure sir, I puked on your daughter.”

 

“Did you now?” Dr. Krieger tries not to laugh.

 

“I did, sir. It’s not great, especially for Ali, but I figure it’s better than punching a guy in the face. I mean at least with throwing up on your daughter there’s a chance you’ll take pity on me because I threw up on, like, the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my entire life. Punching a guy makes me seem like a violent asshole and I really don’t want you to think that.”

 

Dr. Krieger looks to Ali with a raised eyebrow, “punching a guy?”

 

Ali shakes her head, “I’ll explain it to you later.”

 

“Oh shit.” Ashlyn mutters, her words finally catching up with her brain. “This is not going well for me. You got anything that will make me forget this ever happened?” Ashlyn asks.

 

“Only in post-op.” Dr. Krieger replies.

 

Ashlyn groans.

 

Dr. Krieger does his physical examination and asks Ashlyn more questions before typing a few things into her chart.

 

“Well Ashlyn, it’s looking like appendicitis so I’m going to have Kelley hang some antibiotics and we’ll send you for some imaging to be sure. Most likely you’ll be headed for surgery shortly.”

 

“Ah. Then the good drugs.” Ashlyn says enthusiastically. She pauses for a moment and then asks, “what’s the recovery like for the surgery? I’ve been working my ass off in training so I can go to these try-outs February.”

 

“Recovery is fairly quick, especially if we can do it laparoscopically. But even if we have to do it open, you’ll be fine in 3 to 4 weeks.”

 

“Oh man. That’s exactly what I wanted to hear. You’re the love of my life, Krieger!” Ali laughs so hard she has tears streaming down her face.

 

Sure enough, Ashlyn has appendicitis and is taken in for emergency surgery. After she comes out of recovery, and is brought back to her room, Ali steps up to her bed.

 

“Hey, you. How are you feeling?” Ali asks, sweetly.

 

“Aliiiii,” Ashlyn drags out slowly. “I feel like…” she pauses a long moment before finishing. “A unicorn.”

 

“Is that so?” Ali asks, amused.

 

“I don’t know how to sew.”

 

“Those good drugs are treating you well I see.” Ali giggles.

 

“Oh yeah.” Ashlyn stares at Ali a minute. “Hey. Are you wearing my shirt?” Ashlyn asks, wagging her eyebrows at Ali. “Wait, _I_ was wearing that shirt. _Am I not wearing a shirt_!?” Ashlyn clumsily pats her chest to feel for fabric and lets out a relieved sigh when she touches the gown. “Thank God. That would have been embarrassing.”

 

“That would have been.” Ali agrees. “And yes. I am wearing your shirt.”

 

“Ooooh!” Ashlyn sings out, wagging her brows again. “Why are you wearing my shirt? Don’t tell me I forgot the fun part? How come I can never remember the fun part?!”

 

“I’m wearing your shirt because you threw up on me.”

 

“Oh. I don’t want to remember that.” Ashlyn replies shaking her head vigorously.

 

“While you puking on me will probably haunt you forever, you’re not likely to remember this conversation.”

 

“You win some, you lose some.” Ashlyn’s comment is surprising appropriate by Ali’s pretty sure it’s just a coincidence.

 

Ashlyn’s eyelids start to droop as she’s still feeling the effects of the medication. Ali gently strokes Ashlyn’s forearm, watching her face as her features soften as sleep starts to take over. Ashlyn mumbles something quietly.

 

“What was that, babe?” Ali whispers.

 

“Thanks for taking care of me.”

 

“I’m happy to do it.”

 

“You know Al,” Ashlyn opens her eyes again and looks directly into Ali’s. “Sometimes I think you like me.” She smiles.

 

Ali smiles right back. “I do like you.”

 

“That’s good.” Ashlyn closes her eyes again. “Because I like you too.”


	10. What Would Barbie Say

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was another fun one so I hope you like it! As usual let you know your favorite lines/parts/whatever in the comments.

Ali spends the following day in the hospital with Ashlyn as she recovers from her appendectomy. The first day Ashlyn can only have clear liquids and she quips that it must somehow be Ali’s doing given her affinity for forcing her to drink water. They were able to do her surgery laparoscopically, which means she’ll be feeling better in about a week, and back to 100 percent in only a couple more.

 

 “Hanging out with you always seems to end up with me in stitches.” Ashlyn jokes.

 

“You don’t have stitches. They used Steri-strip. So it must be that wicked sense of humor of mine that’s leaving you in stitches.” Ali plays back.

 

“Humor shouldn’t leave so many scars.”

 

“Just something to remember me by.” Ali grins.

 

“Like I could ever forget you.”

 

Ali comes to visit Ashlyn every day for the next week while she rests at home. She stocks her fridge with doctor approved soft foods for the first couple of days, and takes her out for coffee and a real lunch as soon as she’s cleared for it. She drives her around to run errands when Ashlyn can’t because of the pain medication. She accompanies her on daily walks as she eases her way back to her usual strenuous workouts. And she comes over every night after her shift at Astronomy so they can binge _Stranger Things_.

 

While Ali is the only one who remembers Ashlyn’s drug-induced admission, both can feel that something has shifted slightly between them. They sneak a few more glances than before, they hold each’s other stare just a little longer, and there are more little touches between them. Ashlyn brushes up against Ali as she reaches for a menu as they wait in line at the coffee shop. Ali wipes a bit of rogue eyeliner away after she makes Ashlyn laugh so hard she cries. Their hands and shoulders bump here and there as they walk side-by-side into Ashlyn’s follow-up appointment. Ali had insisted on tagging along for it. “It’s always useful to have a doctor’s daughter around in case yours tries to tell you something stupid,” she had insisted.

 

Every time they touch, Ashlyn can feel a current running through her. She thinks about the kiss and how soft Ali’s lips were as they pressed against her own. She thinks about what it would be like to kiss her again. She _wants_ to kiss her again. She wants to know what Ali’s warm skin feels like as she lies beneath her. She wants to feel her chest rise and fall evenly as she holds her. But Ashlyn tries desperately to not get too caught up in her desires. She doesn’t want Ali to think she wants her for merely physical reasons, so she breaks the stares and steps back when they get too close.

 

Ali on the other hand is testing her boundaries. She doesn’t want Ashlyn to think she’s scared so she looks a little deeper into her eyes, and sits a little closer on the couch. She can’t stop thinking about the kiss either, and how much she wants to do it again too. She thinks about the sound of Ashlyn’s sharp intake of breathe at the contact, and the lingering taste of whiskey. She keeps that tube of coconut lip balm by her bed, putting it on each night so she can fall asleep with the taste of Ashlyn on her lips.

 

Two days before Alex’s Halloween party, and week after Ashlyn’s surgery, Ali walks through the front door of Ashlyn’s apartment. Her long, dark hair is down and damp from the rain falling outside. She hangs up her coat and throws herself down on the couch, laying back to rest her head on Ashlyn’s thigh.

 

“Ugh.” She huffs in frustration. “That was the shift from hell. I hate when we have the steak frites as the special. Three people today ordered it medium rare and then sent it back because it was pink in the middle!” Ali rants, staring up at the ceiling. “And sorry if I smell like beer,” she looks at Ash, “some guy spilled an IPA on me. Like the whole thing.”

 

“That sucks, Al. I’m sorry.” Ashlyn looks into her eyes.

 

“It’s okay. I’m just so glad to be done. This is much better.” She smiles sincerely up at Ashlyn.

 

As Ashlyn starts up _Stranger Things_ where they left off last night, Ali shifts her weight a little, snuggling a bit more into Ashlyn, and turning her head so she can see the TV, but never leaving her lap. Halfway through the episode Ashlyn absent-mindedly places a hand on Ali’s head, gently running her fingers over the girl’s scalp through her soft, dark hair. She only becomes aware of what she’s doing when Ali mumbles sleepily. “Mmm. That feels nice.” She lets out a content sigh.

 

Ashlyn starts to feel her resolve weaken as she slowly strokes Ali’s hair until her breath is slow and steady with sleep.

 

The day of Alex’s party, Ashlyn refuses to see Ali.

 

**Ali:** You’re really going to skip coffee because of a Halloween costume?!

**Ashlyn** : Absolutely.

**Ali:** What if I promise not to try and pry information out of you?

**Ashlyn:** Sorry. Not gonna happen. I have to finish a few things. But we’ll see each other tonight!

**Ashlyn:** We can have snapchat coffee.

 

Ashlyn’s last text is followed by a snap of her hand holding a coffee mug. Bright pink paint is visible on her skin.

 

**Ali:** Um, is that a clue??? Why is your hand PINK?!

**Ashlyn** : 12 more hours and you’ll find out.

 

Ashlyn, Alex and Servando have a running joke that the three of them are married to each other. More specifically, that Alex and Serv are married to Ashlyn. She’s often heard asking things like “ _Have you seen my wives?”_ Or, _“Oh, we should invite my husbands to join us!”_ They also tend to greet each other with annoying pet names. The evening of the party, Ashlyn shows up to Alex’s house a bit early, a garment bag in her hand as she strolls into the kitchen.

 

“Hi, sweetie!” Ashlyn greets, kissing Alex on the cheek.

 

“Hello, darling! Can I hang that in the office for you?” Alex asks taking the bag from Ashlyn.

 

“Thank you, dear.” Ashlyn grins back.

 

“Hi honey!” Servando calls from the living room.

 

“Hey babe, I missed you.” She walks in the living room and proceeds to kiss Servando just as she did with Alex.

 

“You guys are so weird.” Ali comments as she carries a box into the living room.

 

“Oh hey. I didn’t know you were here.” Ashlyn is pleasantly surprised.

 

“I got here just before you did. I was in the office getting these.” Ali lifts the box of purple and orange twinkle lights in gesture.

 

“You were in the office? You didn’t look in my garment bag did you?” Ashlyn is genuinely alarmed by the thought that Ali might have peeked at her costume.

 

“Well I didn’t know that’s what it was but I will now!” Ali turns and runs to the office.

 

Ashlyn chases after her, following her into the small room down the hall. It’s really only big enough to hold the desk and loveseat it currently contains, but has a decent sized closet on one wall. Ashlyn’s bag is hanging over the closet door. Ali reaches for the bag but Ashlyn wraps an arm around her waist, pulling her back into her front. She whispers in Ali’s ear.

 

“Don’t. You. Dare. Krieger” Her voice is low and serious.

 

Ali can’t control her laughter over how important it is to Ashlyn to keep her little secret.

 

“Fine!” She laughs out. “I can’t ruin this for you. It clearly means too much.” She’s still laughing over the glare the short-haired brunette is currently giving her. “Let’s go hang those lights.” Ali pats Ashlyn’s arm and walks out of the embrace like nothing had happened.

 

Two hours later and Alex and Servando’s house is completely transformed and Ali and Ashlyn are in separate bathrooms getting ready. Ali wears a deep fuchsia, satin dress with a three-tiered skirt, cutting off just past the knee, ruching down the sides, a giant bow that sits just below her left hip, and large, puffy sleeves that cut off a few inches above her elbows. She found it at a thrift store and it clearly came straight from 1991. She finishes her look with bright pink cheeks and lips, and the “Prom Queen” sash and crown from the time she actually was the prom queen. She’s curled her hair in large ringlets and run her fingers through them several times to try and make her hair has big as possible, without having to go for a full early-90s hairstyle.

 

When Ali emerges from the bathroom, Alex doubles over in laughter. “Oh my god! Please tell me that’s your actual prom dress!”

 

Ali looks thoroughly offended. “My prom was in 2002 not 1992! Geez!”

 

“This is _too_ perfect. Wait until you see Ash.” Alex says nodding towards the living room.

 

When Ali walks into the other room her jaw nearly hits the floor. There Ash stands in black dress shoes, gray slacks, a white tuxedo shirt with black buttons and a black bowtie. She’s wearing a bright pink cummerbund with a matching pink flower in the lapel of her black jacket. Her short hair is parted and swept to the side.

 

“Oh my god.” Ali says in gleeful shock. “You’re Dream Date Ken!”

 

“You got that without my prop?” Ashlyn looks impressed as she points a thumb behind her at a large cardboard frame leaning against the wall. It’s painted bright pink to look like a doll box.

 

“Um, I have the 1982 Dream Date Barbie _and_ Ken, in their original boxes. Duh.”

 

“Of course you do.” Ash says like it’s obvious.

 

“Okay guys we have to Instagram this before everyone gets here and we forget!” Alex interrupts. Her and Serv have gone for a _Stranger Things_ theme, with Alex dressed as Eleven, and Serv as Dustin. They take a few pictures all together, before breaking off into pairs. Alex starts referring to Ali as Prom Queen Barbie and Ali rolls her eyes but secretly, she loves it.

 

The party is, of course, a huge success and Alex’s house is totally packed. Ali and Ashlyn hardly leave the other’s side all night. When Ashlyn goes to take her shift behind the bar, Ali hangs out nearby, watching Ashlyn put on a show for everyone. Ash plasters a gigantic, fake smile on her face and puts on a cheesy, overly upbeat voice.

 

“Hey, Ken. How’s it going?” A guest asks.

 

“Terrible, thanks for asking!” Ashlyn replies with too much enthusiasm and her ridiculous smile. “I think Barbie is sleeping with G.I. Joe!”

 

Everyone loves her Ken doll persona, but they might be even more impressed with how well she can make drinks while physically pretending to be a doll, her arms slightly bent at the elbows and holding all her fingers together, making slow, limited movements. At some point Alex thinks it would be a great idea to put on “Barbie Girl” and she’s right. Ashlyn jumps out from behind the bar and walks right up to Ali.

 

“ _Hiya Barbie,_ ” she says along with the song.

 

“ _Hi Ken_!” Ali plays right back, putting on her own fake smile and hamming it up as much as she can.

 

“ _You wanna go for a ride?”_

 

“ _Sure Ken.”_

 

_“Jump in.”_

 

Ali does her best Barbie impression as she dances around Alex’s yard singing along, Ashlyn is right there with her. When the song ends and everyone has put their phones away, Ali walks back to the bar with Ashlyn still by her side.

 

“Do you want me to make you another drink?” Ashlyn offers.

 

“Have you had one yet?”

 

“I have. But I’m pacing myself. Apparently medical professionals frown upon you getting shitfaced after you’ve just had an organ removed. Even if it’s a non-essential one.”

 

“I’ve heard that rumor. So that’s a no to doing shots?” Ali smirks.

 

“Well, I said I was pacing myself not _not_ drinking. I haven’t ruled out tipsy.” Ashlyn says while grabbing two plastic shot glasses and filling them with tequila. “Let’s do this.”

 

Ali takes her glass and the lime and they cheers before tapping the glasses on the table and throwing them back.

 

A half hour and another shot later and both women are feeling pretty good. Ashlyn has lost her jacket and rolled her sleeves up past her elbows. Ali’s lost her shoes and her sash, but the tiara remains perched atop her head. Ashlyn can’t stop watching Ali as she laughs and talks with her friends. She thinks she has the most incredible smile she’s ever seen. The way her tongue peeks through her teeth and her nose crinkles, her eyes half-closed. Ashlyn is sure that no one could ever feel anything but pure joy in the presence of that smile.

 

Ali on the other hand, can’t stop thinking about getting closer to Ashlyn. Eventually she’s had enough.

 

“Come with me.” Ali says, grabbing Ashlyn’s hand and leading her inside.

 

“What are we doing?” Ashlyn asks casually.

 

“Making out.” Ali replies with a shrug.

 

“We’re what now?!” Ashlyn’s eyebrows shoot up.

 

Ali opens the door to Alex’s office and shoves Ashlyn in. “We’re gonna make out.”

 

“We’re sneaking off at a party to make out?”

 

“Mmhmm.” Ali nods excitedly.

 

Leaving the lights off, she guides Ashlyn to the couch and pushes her back until she sits down. Then she pulls her phone out of her bra, starting a playlist before setting it down on the flat arm of the couch. She sits down and throws her legs over Ashlyn’s lap, leaning back onto the pillows behind her and pulling Ashlyn down with her by the bowtie. Ali joins their lips together fiercely as _Tegan and Sara_ ’s “Closer” plays from her phone’s speakers.

 

_All I want to get is a little bit closer_  
_All I want to know is, can you come a little closer?_

Ashlyn pauses briefly. “Do you have a make out playlist at the ready?”

 

Ali gives a sly smile.  “I’m always prepared.” Then she pulls her into another heated kiss.

 

_Here comes the breath before we get a little bit closer_ _  
Here comes the rush before we touch, come a little closer_

Their first kiss was sweet and spontaneous, but this one is different. This is fueled by the growing desire between them as they get to know each other. It’s passionate and intentional, both women trying to convey their want to the other.

 

_It's not just all physical_ __  
I'm the type who won't get oh so critical  
So let's make things physical  
I won't treat you like you're oh so typical

Ashlyn’s lips are soft against Ali’s, moving perfectly against them. Ali feels Ashlyn’s tongue against her bottom lip, asking for permission. Ali opens her mouth slightly and allows Ashlyn to take control of the kiss as she runs her a hand up her shoulder and into her hair.

 

_All you think of lately is getting underneath me_ _  
All I dream of lately is how to get you underneath me_

Ali pulls back a moment, gently biting Ashlyn’s bottom lip as she pulls away. She moves her hands to Ashlyn’s shirt, untying her bowtie. Their faces are only a couple of inches apart, and Ali looks right at Ashlyn as she starts unbuttoning her shirt. Ashlyn can’t help herself and leans in to kiss Ali again, distracting her just a moment. Again she pulls away and goes back to the buttons.

 

“The tiara really makes the moment.” Ashlyn whispers, her voice low.

 

“Is this your first time making out with the prom queen?”

 

“Well _I_ was the prom queen, so yes.”

 

Ali stops what she’s doing again, trying not to lose it at the thought of the woman currently on top of her, in a fluffy dress and a tiara.

 

“Then I guess it’s my first time making out with the prom queen, too.” Ali laughs out before grabbing Ashlyn by the back of the neck and pulling her in again.

 

_I want you close, I want you_ _  
I won't treat you like you're typical_

Just as Ashlyn moves a hand to Ali’s thigh and starts to move up under the hem of her skirt, the door flies open and the light is switched on.

 

“Ken!” Alex gasps dramatically. “What would Barbie say?!”

 

Ashlyn sits up, buttoning a few of the buttons on her shirt. “Ali’s a better kisser,” she replies with a shrug. Ashlyn pulls Ali up off the loveseat and two push past Alex in a fit of laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you need some references...  
> Dress: http://merrymishaps.com/images/1991.jpg  
> Doll: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/85/4c/91/854c91d8292a2661a3a65e1404beb2b6.jpg  
> Song: https://youtu.be/9e9NSMY8QiQ


	11. Welcome to Victorious Secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to my dear friend who convinced me to even post this story here and who reads every chapter to give me feedback. This chapter includes her favorite scene so this one is for her.
> 
> As a note, this is the last chapter I have pre-written so this is where the updates may become less frequent. I have one nearly finished that I will try and put out tomorrow. I also have about four chapters outlined so it's just a matter of having time to sit down and write them. I promise to try my hardest to keep you from waiting too long. 
> 
> As usual, let me know your favorite lines/parts/things in the comments, and thanks for reading!

Ali spends the rest of the party dancing and drinking and having a great time. Ashlyn, doesn’t drink anymore but still enjoys the rest of her night dancing and laughing with Ali and Alex and all of their friends. A little after three in the morning, Ashlyn drives a drunk and very tired Ali back to her apartment.

 

Upon entering her home, Ali goes immediately to curl up on the couch, a throw pillow in her lap. She turns on the TV, while Ashlyn walks into the kitchen and opens the fridge. Ali is instantly captivated by an infomercial for a super non-stick pan.

 

“Oh my god. I _need_ one of these!”

 

“All you know how to make is scrambled eggs and grilled cheese.” Ashlyn sets three bottles of water in front of Ali, opening an additional one and handing it directly to her.

 

“Both of which are cooked in a pan!” Ali says enthusiastically, taking the water and drinking half of it right away.

 

“I don’t think grilled cheese is worth three easy payments of $19.99.”

 

“Oh! I should make grilled cheese!”

 

“You aren’t serious.” Ashlyn looks at her like she’s lost her mind.

 

“As death!” Ali practically shouts, standing abruptly.

 

“Ooooh no.” Ashlyn says gently pushing Ali back down. “I am not letting you near a stove right now. I’ll make it.”

Ashlyn sets to work making the sandwich as Ali stays glued to the TV, occasionally shouting out another reason why she really does need a Gotham Steel frying pan. “You can use it in the oven!” “I could cook delicious, flaky fish, _and_ steaks to perfection!”

 

Ashlyn becomes so focused on making Ali her sandwich that she doesn’t notice that she’s fallen quiet for several minutes. When she brings the plate to Ali, rather pleased with herself, she finds her fast asleep. _Of course_ , she thinks to herself and lets out a quiet laugh.

 

At this point in the night, or morning rather, Ashlyn has lost everything from her costume other than the slacks and tuxedo shirt, which is wrinkled, unbuttoned, and rolled up. Ali remains in her dress and tiara. Ashlyn tries to rouse Ali by talking up the grilled cheese, even holding the plate under her nose, but it’s to no avail. Ashlyn sets the plate down and scoops Ali up into her arms, carrying her to her bedroom.

 

“Ali, you have to get changed.” Ashlyn whispers to the girl as she lays her on her bed. Ali merely mumbles something unintelligible.”

 

“Come on. Can you wake up for just a minute? You’ll be way more comfortable.” Ashlyn tries.

 

Ali shakes her head and snuggles into her pillow.

 

“Okaaay,” Ashlyn draws out, “is it okay if I take your dress off for you?”

 

This time Ali nods yes and rolls a bit more onto her stomach to expose her zipper. Ashlyn unzips the dress and gently pulls Ali’s arms out of the sleeves. Ali helps a little, turning every now and then to make it easier, but refusing to open her eyes. Currently, Ali lays in bed in only her bra and panties, tiara still on.

 

“Do you want a t-shirt or something?” Ashlyn whispers.

 

“No.” Ali mumbles out.

 

Ashlyn starts to untangle the tiara from Ali’s hair when the girl lets out a little whine. “ _Noooo_.” She squeezes her eyes shut a little tighter in displeasure.

 

“Al, it’s metal. It could hurt you in your sleep.” Her voice is soft and tender.

 

Ali lets out a small huff as she pouts, her eyes still closed. Ashlyn takes the crown off and sets it beside her bed. Ali mumbles something that Ashlyn doesn’t quite get.

 

“What do you need?”

 

“Chapstick.”

 

“Uh, okay.” Ashlyn looks around before noticing a familiar tube of coconut lip balm near where she had set the tiara. She hands it to Ali who lazily puts it _mostly_ on her lips before closing the tube in her hand and then tucking her hand under her chin.

 

“That’s not going to work.” Ashlyn laughs, taking Ali’s hand out from under her head and prying away the chapstick.

 

“Get in.” Ali speaks a bit more clearly than before.

 

“I can’t, Al. I’m sorry. I’ve gotta go back to my place.”

 

Ali lets out a little whine.

 

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Ashlyn kisses the top of her head. “I’m leaving your front door unlocked.” She turns to exit the room.

 

“If I get abducted it’s all your fault.”

 

Ashlyn smiles at Ali, even though she can’t see her, before tuning out the light. On her way out, she grabs a paper towel and the sandwich from the coffee table, taking a bite as she pulls the front door closed behind her.

 

Ashlyn and Ali don’t discuss the events of Alex’s Halloween party, but the pair continue to get closer. To the eye, it looks like dating. Ashlyn takes Ali to the movies, they go out for coffee, and on hikes. Ashlyn takes Ali and Deb out for lunch at a fancy rooftop bistro and pays for everything. Ali practices the same recipe for a week so she can surprise Ashlyn by making her dinner. They spend afternoons at the Aquarium or the art museum, or just sitting on the couch binging whatever is popular on Netflix. One November afternoon, Ali invites Ashlyn to play golf with her and her father. Ali insists that her dad will be fine if Ashlyn calls him Ken, but she continues to call him Dr. Krieger. That is until around the 16th hole, after a couple of beers from the drink cart, when she starts to call him “doc” much to his amusement. As it turns out, Ali is terrible at golf, Ashlyn is pretty good, and everyone has a great time.

 

Even though it looks like dating, there is still a line between the girls. Ashlyn draws it, and Ali tries to cross it. They don’t hold hands, or kiss, or whisper sweet nothings, but the tension continues to grow. Ashlyn is falling harder and harder every day. She falls harder with the sound of Ali’s laugh, the look in her eyes when she’s talking about something she loves, the way she walks into a room. But for now, she keeps it to herself. She wants to keep earning Ali’s trust and showing her she cares without expectation.

 

Ali is certain she’s never met anyone like Ashlyn Harris in her life. She’s certain that Ashlyn makes her feel things she never felt before. And she is absolutely certain that Ashlyn is worth taking a chance on. Ali shows this in little ways like introducing her to her friends and family so quickly. Much bigger than that is how open Ali is with Ashlyn. She’ll tell her anything, answer any question. Ali lets Ashlyn truly know her. It’s just shy of two months since they’ve met, and Ali can’t think of anyone who knows more about her than Ashlyn does. The trust and openness between them only makes Ali want Ashlyn even more, so she tries to push the boundaries, sending signals to push that line, but Ashlyn just quietly puts a little more space between them.

 

It’s the week before Thanksgiving and three since Alex’s party. Ashlyn is back in perfect health, happily throwing herself back into her training schedule. It feels so good to really be able to work out again, that Ashlyn doesn’t even complain when Ali forces her to join her on a run one day.

 

Ali, Ashlyn, and Alex have just finished changing after a gym session and are headed to their cars, when Ali gets a call.

 

“Hey!” Ali answers, clearly familiar with whoever has called. There is a pause while she listens. “Oh shit, really?” Another pause. “Are you alright?” Pause. “No, don’t even worry about it. I actually think I might know someone. Just focus on getting better, okay? A final pause. “Okay. Feel better and call me tomorrow!” Ali hangs up.

 

“Everything okay?” Alex asks.

 

“Yeah,” Ali sighs. “That was my friend Nikki, the goalkeeper for my rec team. She had a pretty nasty encounter with a flight of stairs today. She’s going to be fine, but she’s out for tonight.

 

“You have a game tonight? I thought your league was done by now?” Alex wonders.

 

“It is, but we have this tournament tonight at the indoor soccer park for this charity that sends at-risk youth to sports camps. There are three 45-minute games and the winners from the first two face each other in the final. It’s a big deal with the league. All season, people “vote” for the four teams they want to see play by putting money in that team’s jar. Then they vote again on who they want to win each match in the tournament. As a team, we get businesses to agree to match whatever amount our team earned if we win. The goal is to win the tournament, and then with the donation-matching, also have earned the most money for the charity. Although most businesses agree to donate something even if their team doesn’t win. Anyway, it’s a lot of fun.”

 

“Oh that’s so cool! I can’t believe you didn’t tell me about it earlier. Serv and I will totally come watch!”

 

“It’s too bad you don’t know anyone who can fill in for your keeper though.” Ashlyn adds.

 

“Yeah.” Ali plays along. “It’s awful.” She pauses a moment. “Wait, you don’t know anyone do you, Ash?”

 

“Hmm,” She pretends to think about it. “A keeper? That’s tough…”

 

“Ugh.” Alex rolls her eyes at the two. “Why are you guys always like this?!”

 

That evening, Ashlyn and Ali walk into the sports park together. Ali is practically bouncing up and down with excitement. She loves a good competition and this one is always especially fun because it’s for such a good cause. Ali leads Ashlyn up to a couple of women who are dressed in black shorts, black t-shirts with neon pink lettering, and matching neon pink socks.

 

“Hey guys!” Ali greets them. “This is Ashlyn, she’s filling in for Nikki tonight. Ash this is Becky and Crystal.”

 

Ashlyn greets them both with a handshake.

 

“Becky is the one who got me a job at the club. She has about 12 jobs there, including coach. She’s going to be the president of the whole thing someday.”

 

“We’ll see about that.” Becky replies. “Thanks for helping us out tonight, Ashlyn. But in case Ali hasn’t filled you in, we take this tournament very seriously. I hope you’re ready.”

 

Yeah,” Crystal chimes in. “We’ve won the last two years. We need to make this a hat trick.”

 

“Ali may have mentioned how important it is to win a few hundred times or so. I think I’m ready.”

 

Suddenly Ashlyn feels a hand land on her shoulder. “So how’s life without the appendix?”

 

Ashlyn turns her head to find Kelley, the nurse from the emergency room standing beside her.

 

“A lot less painful, actually. Less puking too.” Ash grins at the woman. “It’s good to see you again. Kelley, right?”

 

“That’s Kelley O’Hara, RN to you.”

 

Becky and Crystal are looking at them curiously so Ali and Kelley fill them in on Ashlyn’s little trip to the ER. Ali is sure to include some of the more ridiculous things Ashlyn said while high on pain meds.

 

“Hold on. If you play for this team, why did you ask me in the hospital if I played for Ali’s rec team? Ashlyn recalls the conversation she had with Kelley while she had start her IV.

 

“Oh that’s a tactic nurses use to distract scaredy cats like you.” Kelley teases. “Distract, gain trust, stab with needle. Works every time.”

 

After everyone has had a good laugh at Ashlyn’s expense, it’s time to start warming up a little. Becky reaches into her bag and pulls out a bright pink keeper jersey for Ashlyn.

 

“If you’re gonna play the part, you’ve gotta look the part. Welcome to Victorious Secret.”

 

Ashlyn just shakes her head and pulls the jersey on.

 

All of the teams play well, but no one is a match for Ali’s team. Despite their best efforts, Ashlyn manages a clean sheet in all three games, and Victorious Secret ends up contributing over $17,000 to the cause. The team officially invites Ashlyn to join them next season, and Ali sings “We are the Champions” for the rest of the night.

 

Ashlyn discovers she loves watching Ali play soccer. They’ve been training together for a while, but she doesn’t always get to see her in her most competitive form. Even in an indoor rec game, Ali’s passion and skill practically drip off of her and Ashlyn finds it incredibly sexy. Later when Ali is trying to move behind Ashlyn and brushes up against her for a moment, Ashlyn’s skin breaks into goosebumps.

 

Ali feels similarly about watching Ashlyn. She’s been watching her for weeks now, but Ashlyn being a part of something as exhilarating as a win, has Ali all wound up. She finds herself intentionally trying to get as close to Ashlyn as she can, without being too obvious about it. She notices when Ashlyn reacts to her touch.

 

After Ashlyn drops Ali off at home that night, Ali decides she needs to be a little clearer with Ashlyn.


	12. Look 3.5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! I couldn't log in to the site on my laptop and had to wait to get to a different computer. I hope this one was worth the wait though. As a quick note, things sort of...heat up...in this chapter, so if that's not your jam you'll want to stop reading when you reach Saturday night. 
> 
> Let me know your thoughts in the comments! Thanks!

The day before Thanksgiving, Ali and Ashlyn are having Late Morning Coffee early so they can both get on the road to head home for the holiday. They sit on the balcony, legs dangling from the side, with a blanket draped over their shoulders.

 

“So are you excited for tomorrow?” Ali asks.

 

“Yes! I live for my grandmother’s cooking. And my cousin and his wife will be there so I’m going to spend the whole time with my nephew. What about you? What are you looking forward to?”

 

“Seeing my brother. I haven’t seen him since June! He should be there by the time I get there. I’m actually more looking forward to tonight when we can just stay up late and catch up. Don’t get me wrong, tomorrow will be great but it’s nice to just have sibling time, you know? Not to mention that starting tomorrow it’s just going to be non-stop craziness from there on out.”

 

“Yeah, I’m sure your friend Liz is great, but planning a wedding for the Saturday after Thanksgiving seems like a lot of work.” Ashlyn responds.

 

“She’s wonderful but definitely a little crazy. She’s so lucky to have such an amazing Maid of Honor who can handle anything.” Ali says with a hair flip.

 

“Oh, the luckiest.” Ashlyn grins.

 

A little while later, Ashlyn helps Ali carry her things down to her car. Ashlyn has Ali’s duffle bag over her shoulder and is holding a long garment bag up high so it won’t drag on the ground. Ali has another garment bag draped over her arm, three pairs of heels in her hands, and her large leather tote over one shoulder.

 

“Is this everything?” Ash asks while carefully hanging and arranging the garment bags on the hook on the ceiling in the backseat, near the driver side door. “You’re not forgetting anything? Three more gowns? 12 more pairs of shoes?”

 

Ali rolls her eyes. “Listen, I have a family event, a rehearsal dinner, a wedding that I am _in_ , and a post-wedding brunch. I need to look good for all of it.”

 

“Oh sure.” Ashlyn says with a bit of sarcasm. “Like that’s hard. You could show up in paper bag and you’d still probably upstage the bride.”

 

“While I appreciate the flattery, I still maintain that all of this is necessary.” Ali closes the back door. “Thank you for helping me though.”

 

“It’s not considered flattery if it’s true.”

 

Ali blushes a bit at the comment before opening the driver’s side door. “You’ll text me when you get there?”

 

“I will. But you’ve got the longer drive so you text me too.”

 

“I will. Have a happy Thanksgiving. Send me pictures!”

 

“I will if you will” Ashlyn agrees. Ali gets in the car, and Ashlyn closes the door for her. She stands back and watches as Ali disappears down the street.

 

Because most of Ashlyn’s family is local, they won’t be arriving until tomorrow. Tonight it’s just Ashlyn and her grandmother, working late into the night to prepare for tomorrow’s meal.

 

“Well how are things between you and Ali?” Grandma Harris asks as she brushes butter overtop rolls spread out on a baking sheet.

 

Ashlyn was waiting for the older woman to bring it up all night. “They’re great.” She answers sincerely.

 

“You know I need more than that. Are you an item or not?” She’s a little annoyed.

 

“I should have known you wouldn’t let me off the hook.” Ashlyn smiles at the woman. “Things are great. We’re really close. We have these amazing talks about her life and my life and our hopes and dreams and thoughts on the world. I could listen to her talk for hours. Sometimes I do. But we aren’t anything official yet. I know I want to talk to her about us and if we can be an _Us_ but I guess I’m just waiting for the right moment.”

“Well good for you, Sweet Pea.” Grandma pats her shoulder. “Just remember that sometimes the moment doesn’t arise unless you make it happen yourself.”

 

“I’ll talk to her. I promise.”

 

“Good.” Grandma Harris takes the baking sheet and puts it in the oven. “Then you can bring her to my birthday party next month.” And with that, Grandma walks out of the kitchen leaving Ashlyn to think about what she said.

 

Ali and her brother Kyle are sitting on opposite ends of the couch in their mother and step-father’s living room. They both have their legs stretched out across the middle of the couch, Ali’s legs against the back of the couch and Kyle’s beside them. She holds her phone out in front of her to show Kyle a picture from Halloween.

 

“That dress is truly something else.” Kyle comments taking the phone from Ali. “And this Ken costume? Too much!”

 

“Doesn’t she look great, though?” Ali asks a bit wistfully.

 

Kyle shoots her a look before he starts swiping through her photos.

 

“Hey!” Ali scolds. “You don’t scroll someone’s photos without asking!”

 

“Oh my God, Ali! Your camera roll is nothing but selfies with Ashlyn and screenshots of her snaps to you! You’re obsessed! You know the other person gets a notification when you screenshot, right?” Kyle teases.

 

“Yes, I know that. And I’ve gotten enough of them to know she saves just as many of mine.” Ali leans forward and snatches her phone back.

 

“You _really_ like this girl.”

 

“Yes, I really like her! I have just spent the last 45 minutes telling you about how much I like her! You had to invade my privacy in order to believe me?!”

 

“No, it’s just I haven’t seen you like this before. You’ve usually got a counter-reason for everything you list as a positive. And I can’t remember the last time you took a selfie with someone your dating, let alone saved 8000 pictures of them brushing their teeth.”

 

“There’s only one of her brushing her teeth.”

 

“Two.”

 

“Whatever. Good dental hygiene is sexy.”

 

Kyle lets out a loud laugh before putting a hand on his sister’s leg.

“I’m not trying to make fun of you, Sis. I’m really happy for you. It seems like you’re finally dating some—“

 

Ali cuts him off. “That’s the thing though. We aren’t actually dating. I’m positive we both like each other, but we’re in this weird in-between place right now.”

 

“But you want more?” Kyle asks.

 

“So much more,” Ali sighs. “She’s this impulsive, go-with-you-gut kind of person but for whatever reason something is stopping her. It feels like she’s waiting for something.”

 

“Maybe she’s waiting for you. If she knows you as well as you say she does, maybe she’s worried about rushing you or moving too quickly. Maybe you need to let her know what you want.”

 

“I think I’ve made that pretty clear. I literally threw myself at her at that Halloween party!”

 

“Oh Al. You are so sweet. Sneaking off at a party to make out has all the innocence of a Taylor Swift song. You need to think more Rhianna.”

 

“Kyle!” Ali’s eyes go wide.

 

“Oh settle down. I’m kidding! Sort of. But I do have a suggestion.”

 

“And what’s that?” Ali asks skeptically.

 

“Okay, this is going to sound kind of out there, but maybe you could try, I don’t know, talking to her?”

 

Ali rolls her eyes.

 

“I’m serious, Alex. If you want more, and you think she wants more, but feel like there’s something standing in the way, the best thing to do is talk about it.”

 

“I know. You’re right. I’m going to.”

 

“Great!” Kyle tries to reach for her phone. “I’ll help you compose the text.”

 

“Very funny. You know this isn’t a conversation you have over text. We’ll talk after this weekend. After tomorrow I have to focus on being a bridesmaid.”

 

“Hey, Alex?” Deb pokes her head into the room. “Can you come give me your opinion on something?”

 

“Sure, Mom.” Ali stands and goes to help her mother.

 

Around Eleven that night, Ashlyn’s phone starts ringing and Ali’s name pops up on the screen.

 

“Do you miss me already?” She answers with a smirk.

 

“You have no idea,” A man’s voice replies.

 

“Uhh...” Ashlyn is suddenly confused. She pulls the phone from her ear to look at the screen again and make sure it really says Ali’s name. It does. Then in the background, Ashlyn can hear Ali’s voice.

 

“Kyle! What are you doing?! Who are you talking to?!”

 

“Geez, Ali! Rude much? I am on the phone!” Kyle playfully scolds his sister. “Sorry about that, my sister has no manners,” he says back into the phone.

 

“Hello to you too, Kyle.” Ashlyn laughs

 

“My sister will _not_ shut up about you so I thought I’d just give you a call and see what all the fuss is about.” As Kyle is speaking, Ashlyn can hear scuffling and assumes Ali is trying to get the phone back.

 

“She’s been talking about me, huh?”

 

Before Kyle can answer Ali wins the phone back.

 

“Oh my God, please ignore my idiot brother who has no idea what boundaries are.” Ali sounds exasperated.

 

“He’s been spreading a vicious rumor that you’ve been talking about me all night.”

 

“I may have been regaling him with a few stories here and there. Mostly about how you always seem to cause drama. You know with all the bleeding, and throwing up on me.”

 

Ashlyn groans. “There goes my shot at a good first impression with your brother.”

 

“He’s the one who should be worried about first impressions.” Ashlyn can tell the emphasis in Ali’s voice is not for her benefit, but Kyle’s. “I should let you get back to your night.”

 

“Yeah, okay. It was good to hear your voice though.”

 

“It was good to hear your voice too.” Ali says sweetly. Ashlyn can hear Kyle making an exaggerated “ _Awww!”_ in the background. “Oh shut it, Kyle!” Ali directs at him.

 

“Text me tomorrow?” Ashlyn asks.

 

“I’ll text you tonight.”

“Good.”

 

“Goodnight, Ash.”

 

“Bye, Ali.”

 

Ashlyn lays back on her bed and closes her eyes, resting her phone on her stomach. She thinks about the conversation she needs and wants to have with Ali. Just as she’s getting lost in her thoughts, her phone sounds with a text from Ali.

 

**Ali:** I talk about you a lot, but I think about you even more.

**Ashlyn:** I’m thinking about you too.

 

Ali sees an opportunity present itself. She wonders if she should think “a little more Rhianna,” as her brother had put it, but quickly shakes the thought from her mind. No, she would wait and talk to Ashlyn.

 

Both Ashlyn and Ali enjoy Thanksgiving with their families. Ashlyn sends Ali a million pictures and videos of her nephew and Ali melts over each one. She saves one picture in particular where Ashlyn is cradling the sleeping baby in her arms, the look of love in her eyes nearly tangible. Ali sends Ashlyn a picture of her “Look One of Four” and a video of the green bean casserole she didn’t ruin for dinner. Both girls are reprimanded several times for paying a little too much attention to their phones during the evening.

 

On Friday, Ashlyn heads back to work the dinner shift at Astronomy. She realizes quickly how much she dislikes working without Ali. The night drags on longer without the sound of her laugh or the little winks she gives as she passes the bar. She misses chatting with Ali when things are slow, and she misses the way Ali keeps everything running smoothly. Ali spends the day helping Liz with wedding prep. Running through checklists, making favors, tying bows on programs, making sure everyone knows where they’re supposed to be and when. She sends Ashlyn pictures throughout the day to keep her posted, and occasionally she sends a catty text or 12 when she needs to vent about something, but doesn’t want to make Liz feel bad. Of course she also sends her a snap of “Look Two of Four” and Ashlyn doesn’t mind one bit.

 

By Saturday, Ashlyn and Ali are really feeling the distance. They’ve become so constant in each other’s lives that, even though it’s only been two months, four days apart feels monumental. Ali is obviously very busy this day, and Ashlyn misses hearing from her. When she checks her phone on her break, she’s thrilled to find Ali’s “Look Three of Four” picture. Ali stands in a ballroom, one hand on her hip, the other holding a champagne flute, a giant smile plastered on her face. She’s wearing a deep, garnet-colored, floor-length gown made of chiffon. It’s strapless with a sweetheart neckline and her hair is swept to the side in a low, elegant bun. She’s stunning and Ashlyn sends her a quick text to let her know as much.

 

**Ashlyn:** You look incredible. Absolutely stunning.

 

It isn’t until hours later when Ashlyn is lying in her bed trying to fall asleep, that Ali finally replies to her text.

 

**Ali:** Thanks, Ash! I had a whole team to make me look this good though.

**Ali:** How was your night?

**Ashlyn:** It was alright. We weren’t as busy as I thought we would be. But I did have a guy who thought the appropriate was to get a bartender’s attention was to snap and/or whistle at her like calling a dog. How was the wedding _?_

**Ali:** Ugh. What an asshole!

**Ali:** The wedding was beautiful! Liz looked amazing, I cried like three times, and my feet hurt from dancing all night. Also, if you’re ever wearing a giant ballgown and need someone to help you pee, I am officially the master.

**Ashlyn:** If I’m ever wearing a ballgown something terrible has happened and you need to get me help right away.

**Ali:** Says the prom queen...

**Ashlyn:** Last time I checked you rather liked this prom queen in a suit jacket.

 

Ali contemplates her response for a long time. She’s been at a beautiful, romantic wedding all night, sipping champagne and thinking about Ashlyn. She misses everything about her, even the things she hasn’t had yet. She thinks about making things clearer to Ashlyn.

 

Ali stands in front of the floor-length mirror in hotel room she’s staying in and removes her dress. Her hair is still done up, her make-up still intact, and now she stands in a pair of black, lace, thong underwear, and a strapless black push-up bra. She tries a couple of poses, snapping a few pictures in the Snapchat app but deleting them. Finally, she turns to the side, as to not give too much away, and stands, her knee nearest the mirror slightly bent. While her bare legs can only be seen in profile, she twists at the waist so her stomach and chest are more visible. She puts the hand not holding her phone on the back of her neck and while her face is towards the mirror, her eyes are looking off to the side. She snaps the picture and adds the caption “Look 3.5” before sending it off to Ashlyn.

 

As soon as she hits send, she panics. This wasn’t the kind of thing Ali did. While she had been pushing boundaries with Ashlyn lately, this was a whole new level. Here she is, the girl who makes a grocery list even when she only needs to pick up almond milk and apples, sending a half-naked picture to a girl she’s not dating.

 

When Ashlyn opens the picture, her eyes bug out of her head. _Oh fuck_ , she thinks. This is not where she expected things to go but she doesn’t hate it. If Ali were there and trying to make a move, she probably would have stopped her and insisted they talk. But here, alone in her room, after missing Ali all weekend, she finds herself pulling off her sports bra and throwing her tattooed arm across her bare chest. She turns her head to the side, closing her eyes, and snaps her response back to Ali.

 

**Ali:** Do you think about me?

**Ashlyn:** All the time.

**Ali:** Do you think about my body?

**Ashlyn:** How could I not. It’s perfection.

**Ali:** What’s your favorite part of my body, Ash

**Ali:** and don’t ruin this by saying something sweet like my eyes or my smile or something

 

Ashlyn laughs out loud. Ali clearly knows what she wants and Ashlyn can’t deny that she wants it too.

 

**Ashlyn:** Your legs. That perfect ass.

**Ali:** Do you want to touch them? Run your hands over my smooth skin?

**Ashlyn:** Yes.

**Ali:** Why haven’t you?

**Ashlyn:** I want to.

**Ashlyn:** Do you think about my body?

**Ali:** Your broad shoulders, and strong back make me feel all kinds of things. I think about your hands too, about what they would feel like on my skin. About your long fingers…

 

Ashlyn can feel her arousal under the arm still across her chest and the heat building between her legs.

 

**Ashlyn:** What do you think about? What do you want me to do with those fingers?

**Ali:** I want you to touch me. I want to feel you inside me.

**Ashlyn:** Touch yourself. Imagine it’s me.

**Ali:** Do you think about me when you touch yourself?

**Ashlyn:** I do. I am.

**Ali:** You feel amazing, baby.

 

They stop texting as they both become too wrapped up in what they’re doing and feeling. Ali’s just tumbled over the edge with a quiet but drawn out moan, her body trembling slightly. As she comes down from the high, her phone rings. She answers without looking, knowing who it is.

 

“Hey.” She breathes out.

 

“Hi.” Ashlyn’s breath is still heavy as well. They stay quiet a moment, listening to the other’s breath slowly even out.

 

Ashlyn wasn’t entirely sure why she called but has an idea. Part of her wanted to make sure it was real, that Ali wasn’t just toying with her. But Ashlyn knows Ali and knows she wouldn’t. Another part of her wanted to be closer. The distance between them that made it possible to go this far, was no longer enough, and Ashlyn needed to hear Ali’s voice.

 

“Did you have a nice night?” Ashlyn asks, her voice conveying a different question entirely.

 

“I did. It was really, really nice. And yours?”

 

“It started out kind of rough, but it sure ended with a bang.” Ashlyn teases.

 

Ali let’s out a little giggle. “You just couldn’t help yourself, could you?”

 

“Nope.” Ali can hear the grin in her voice.

 

“Thank you.” Ali’s voice is low and gentle.

 

“I miss you.” Ashlyn whispers out.

 

“I miss you too.”

 

“Get some sleep, okay? I’ll text you in the morning.” Ashlyn says.

 

“Okay. Goodnight, Ash.”

 

“Sweet dreams, Ali.”

 

When Ashlyn wakes up in the morning she has a snap from Ali. “Look Four of Four.”

 

**Ashlyn:** You look amazing, as always, Al.

**Ashlyn:** But I think 3.5 is still my favorite look.


	13. Definitely a Badass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains some nasty language/name-calling, mild violence, and the use of a homophobic slur. If this kind of material is upsetting or triggering for you, you may want to skip this chapter. 
> 
> I'm going to explain why I wanted to write this chapter in the end-of-chapter notes if you're interested. 
> 
> As always, your feedback is encouraged and greatly appreciated.

Although both Ashlyn and Ali feel like they need to sit down and talk to the other, the timing is off. With Ali taking four days off for Liz’s wedding, she scheduled herself extra for the next week. Ali and Ashlyn mostly spend time together at work, and when they do get together, Ali is often so tired that she falls asleep on Ashlyn’s couch. After that night, the tension between the two women was at an all-time high, but that much needed conversation just kept getting put off.

 

After nearly a week, Ali has started to second guess herself. Maybe she had read things all wrong. Maybe, if Ashlyn hasn’t done anything by now, it means she doesn’t want to. The more Ashlyn thinks about it, the more she convinces herself that she needs to wait for the right “moment” to present itself and that she shouldn’t rush it. So the pair falls back into the gray in-between of what they want and what they are.

 

It’s the first weekend in December and Ali and Ashlyn are both working another busy Saturday night. Ashlyn and Alex are behind the bar mixing drinks as fast as they can to sate the customers who are already a little impatient due to a backup in the kitchen. Ali is serving her own section, as well as helping Sam, the new hire. Sam is sweet and hardworking and was happy to step into a busy shift last minute to help out, but she’s still learning and needs a little help. When Ali places an order at the bar, Ashlyn pulls her aside.

 

“Hey, there’s a guy at table six who’s a lot to handle. He’s the one from last weekend who was whistling and snapping to get my attention all night. I just wanted to give you a head’s up since it looks like he’s at one of Sam’s tables.” Ashlyn explains.

“I can already tell he’s being a pain in the ass. I’ll keep my eye on it. Thanks.” Ali turns to run some straws and extra napkins to a table before returning to get her drinks.

 

As Ali is headed to deliver drinks, Sam walks up to the bar, clearly looking a bit frazzled.

 

“I need a vodka soda, and a club soda with lime.” Sam requests

 

Ashlyn nods and quickly makes the two drinks. Normally Ashlyn would have put the club soda in a highball glass, but they were so slammed she only had lowball glasses left.

 

“The one with the lemon and the lime is the Vodka Soda, the one with only lime is club soda. You got that?” She asks setting the glasses on the bar for Sam to take.

 

“Lemon-lime is vodka, limes only is just soda.” She repeats in confirmation.

 

“Excuse me,” a man sitting at the bar calls. “Can I get another beer?”

 

“Of course,” Ashlyn replies. “Same thing? Or did you want to try something else?”

 

“Um,” he hesitates a moment. “Can I see the list again?”

 

Ashlyn brings the bar menu over to the guy and is in the middle of describing the difference between two options when the jerk from table six walks up to the bar.

 

“You’re an idiot, you know that?!” The man says angrily to Ashlyn.

 

“Is there a problem, sir?” Ashlyn tries to keep her cool and act as professionally as possible.

 

“Yeah, there’s a problem!” He shouts. “There’s no goddamn vodka in my fucking vodka soda!”

 

“I’m so sorry, sir. There was a mix up. I will make you a new one right now.” Ashlyn says evenly.

 

“A mix up?! How about you’re an idiot. How stupid do you have to be to forget the _vodka_ in a fucking _vodka soda_?! It’s only two fucking things?!” The irate man continues to yell.

 

As he continues his verbal assault on Ashlyn, she tries to ignore him as she fixes the new drink and calls for Sam to come over.

 

“I need you to get the club soda back from your customer. Looks like this guy got it instead.” She hands Sam a new drink. “Replace it with this, apologize for the mix up, and tell them their meal is complimentary. Just save the ticket and I’ll pay for it.”

 

Sam’s face flushes red as it contorts into a look of embarrassment and horror. “I’m so sorry, Ash!”

“And I’m not fucking paying for it. I’m not paying for anything!” The man continues to rant as Ashlyn and Sam speak.

 

“It’s okay, just fix it. Quickly.” She says to Sam.

 

“You think you can just ignore me?! You fucking dyke bitch!!!!” The man is screaming now. He picks up the drink Ashlyn had set in front of him and throws it in her face, then throws the glass at her feet behind the bar.

 

Ashlyn is about to open her mouth when Ali’s voice booms through behind them.

 

“HEY!” She shouts, charging towards the much larger man. “Don’t you dare speak to her that way! You don’t get to speak to anyone that way! It’s time for you to leave.” Ali demands.

 

“Who do you think you are?! You bitch!” He spits out at Ali.

 

“You need to leave the premise immediately or we will call the police and they will remove you.” Ali stands tall, her voice serious and commanding.

 

“You can’t fucking tell me what to do.” The man says, shoving Ali back, hard, knocking her into a table behind her. Ali winces at the contact, but stands quickly just in time for the man to come at her with his hand raised. Ali grabs his wrist and twists his arm back while sending a swift knee directly to his crotch. He immediately drops to the floor, groaning in pain as the restaurant erupts in applause. Alex is behind the bar, filming the whole thing on her phone. After the man started yelling she’d gone to alert Tom to the situation, who said he was going to call the police. When she returned she started filming the exchange in case they needed it to prove what had gone on.

 

“You fucking cunt!” the man screams at Ali from the floor. “I’m having you arrested. Both of you!!” He gestures to Ashlyn.

 

“This may be hard for you to understand, sir, but making someone the wrong drink isn’t illegal. As for Ali, if you’d like to pursue pressing charges, that’s entirely up to you. But we’ll see what the police have to say after they talk to a bar full of people who just saw my server act in self-defense after being attacked by an angry patron. Regardless of what you choose, you’ll be waiting outside to speak with them.” Tom explains to the man as he roughly pulls him up from the floor.

 

He pulls his arm away from Tom and turns to Ali. “ _Whore._ ” His voice is low and full of vitriol when he hurls the insult at her. He spits right in her face. Her eyes close momentarily in disgust as she feels it hit her face. She raises a hand and slaps the man, her handprint rapidly appearing on his cheek as Tom proceeds to drag the man outside.

 

Ali is totally stunned for a moment, not fully aware of what it going on around her. There are a lot of people talking, asking questions. Ali can feel Alex wiping her cheek with a warm, damp cloth but all the other sights and sounds are swirling. Suddenly a voice breaks through and brings her back.

 

“Ali?” Ashlyn’s voice asks. She can feel her arm around her.

 

Ali shakes her head to clear it as she makes sense of the world around her again. She’s hit with panic and concern for Ashlyn.

 

“Ash!” Ali turns in her arm to hug her tightly. She feels Ashlyn’s damp shirt against her. “I’m so sorry! Are you okay? I can’t believe he said those awful things to you.” Ali’s eyes begin to fill with tears.

 

“Hey, it’s okay.” Ashlyn says in a soft, soothing voice.

 

“No!” Ali’s voice raises, “It’s not! It’s not okay to say those things! It’s hateful! He targeted you! Alex was there too but he picked you!”

 

“I know.”

 

“Then how are you so calm about this?!” Ali can’t understand why Ashlyn seems so collected. Why she seems so concerned about Ali instead of herself.

 

“Because it’s over now. And because it’s not the first time someone has called me something like that. And most importantly, because this badass woman just put herself right in the middle of a hostile situation to protect me.”

 

As the tears start to spill from Ali’s eyes, Ashlyn gently guides her through the bar to the office. Once inside she wraps her arms around the dark-haired beauty, one hand on the small of her back, the other cradling the back of her head as Ali buries her face into Ashlyn’s neck. They stay that way for several minutes, Ali taking comfort in the strong arms holding her.

 

“I’m sorry.” Ali sniffles, she pulls away a little to look Ashlyn in the eyes. Ashlyn drops her hands to her waist. “I shouldn’t be the one crying.”

 

“Oh so you want me to cry?” Ashlyn teases.

 

“No.” Ali glares at her. “Of course not. I want you to be able to feel whatever you feel and I want to support you.”

 

“It sucks. It hurts when someone feels the need to tear you down like that. It’s scary when you know someone hates you just for existing and they become that aggressive. But right now I’m just relieved that it’s over and everyone is okay. The truth is, I really don’t care what that asshole thinks and I know he’s wrong so he’s not worth the energy it takes to continue to be upset over it. Okay?”

 

Ali nods and wipes away the tears left on her face.

 

“How bad is my mascara running?” Ali asks as she composes herself.

 

“It’s not so bad.” Ashlyn says laughing at her a little. “Here.” Ashlyn carefully runs a thumb under each of Ali’s eyes to clean up the smudges.

 

When Ash pulls her hand away, Ali notices a small cut on Ashlyn’s arm.

 

“You’re bleeding!” Ali grabs her arm to examine it.

 

“It’s just a scratch. I got hit by a shard when he threw that glass but it hardly bled. See? It’s fine.” Ashlyn lets Ali confirm that it’s nothing.

 

“I’m still sorry it happened to you.” Ali says sincerely.

 

“I’m sorry for what happened to you too, Al. He said nasty things to you. And that was quite the shove. Are you alright? Have you stopped to think about that yet?”

 

“Not really.” Ali turned so her back was to Ashlyn and lifted the bottom of her shirt so she could see. “How’s it look?”

 

“Shit, Ali! That bruise is massive! How are you not feeling this?” Ashlyn takes in the deep purple bruise forming on Ali’s lower left side.

 

“Adrenaline I guess.” Ali shrugs. “I’m sure I’ll feel it later.”

 

Tom knocks on the door before poking his head in. “Hi ladies, the police are ready to get statements from you.”

 

After Ashlyn, Ali, Alex, Sam and a slew of patrons speak with police, things finally settle down. All of the customers were really patient given what had happened, and Alex, Sam and a couple of other servers managed to keep things running during all the chaos. After Ashlyn and Ali are finished giving their statements, Tom tries to send them home but Ali insists that she finish her shift.

 

Around 2:30am, Ashlyn and Ali make their way to the parking lot with Alex.

 

“Well I guess you guys are even now.” Alex comments. Ali and Ashlyn look at her, a bit confused.

 

“You know, Ash punched a guy and split her hand open for you, and Ali took a guy down for you.” She says to the pair.

 

“Good point.” Ali says. “I never would have intervened otherwise. And now that we’re even, I don’t need to hang around you so much.”

 

Ashlyn scoffs. “Ha! You couldn’t stay away if you tried.”

 

“I think this is my cue to exit. I’m sorry that tonight was total shit.”

 

Alex hugs them both good-bye and heads to her car.

 

“I wanted to say thank you again, Ali, for stepping in tonight. You didn’t have to do that, and it means a lot that you did.” Ashlyn says quietly.

 

“I didn’t even think about what I was doing really. I just heard that guy screaming at you and when I realized why, it was like I was on autopilot or something. I couldn’t just let someone say those things to you.”

 

“You’re such a badass. You know that right?”

 

Ali blushes a little. “You may have mentioned it before.”

 

“Well I mean it.” Ashlyn smiles at her.

 

“I know you’re okay with all of it or whatever but I’m still really sorry about how that man treated you. I know you and I have had different experiences but it really broke my heart when you said it wasn’t the first time. I know this stuff happens all the time, but no one has ever looked at the way I wear my hair, or the clothes or I wear and decided they hate me for who I am. I can hide behind how I look I guess. I know that homophobic, hate-filled, bigots are out there but I’ve never been the target in the same way you were today. It just really changed my perspective and I want you to know that you don’t deserve to be treated like that. I think who you are is amazing.”

 

“Yep.” Ashlyn says. “Definitely a badass.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The inspiration for this chapter came a couple of weeks ago when my best friend recounted her absolutely horrible night to me. She works as a nurse and her job is to provide the best care she possibly can to anyone in her charge, no matter what they say to her. She has to keeping caring and doing her job, even if the person she's taking care of is a very large, aggressive man who took one look at her haircut and how she styles her scrubs, and shouted slurs, insults, and threats to her life at her for 12 hours. I realized how privileged I've been to have never been treated in such a way. I also wanted to find that guy and scream at him for being so cruel to someone, especially someone who had done so much for him.
> 
> The other intention for this chapter was to remove the rigidity of the roles I may have placed on Ali and Ashlyn, with Ashlyn as the protector and Ali the caretaker. It was important to me to show that these girls both want to protect and care for the other equally. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	14. Aggressively Attractive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lot of trouble deciding if the next part should be one longer chapter or two shorter ones. Ultimately I decided on two because I need a little time to write more! However, I'm impatient when I have stuff pre-written so I'll post the next one really early tomorrow.
> 
> Head's up, this chapter does mention the slur used last chapter in a retelling. 
> 
> As always, comments are encouraged and greatly appreciated! Enjoy!

Sunday morning, Ali meets Kelley for brunch.

 

“I am so sorry I’m late!” Ali rushes up to the woman waiting for a table in the small French café.

 

Kelley glances at her watch. “Uh, it’s 10:59. You’re still a minute early. Although I think this might be the first time I’ve ever shown up somewhere before Perpetually Early Ali Krieger.”

 

“I overslept, and then I got caught up on a call. I had one hell of a night last night and it kind of took its toll.”

 

“Right this way, ladies” the waitress interrupts with a smile, leading the women to a table near a large window.

 

“Can I get you something to drink?” the young woman asks once Ali and Kelley are seated.

 

“Coffee.” Ali and Kelley reply in unison.

 

The waitress laughs. “Coming right up. And my name is Charlotte if you need anything.”

 

“Thanks, Charlotte.” Ali smiles at the woman.

 

“What’s her name if we don’t need anything?” Kelley leans across the table and whispers once Charlotte has started to walk away.

 

Ali laughs at her friend before perusing the menu a minute.

 

“So.” Kelley says looking over her own. “Tell me about this hell of a night. Good hell, or bad hell?”

 

“I slapped Satan himself.”

 

“Wait really? Did you actually slap someone?!” Kelley is a little too excited.

 

“Unfortunately, yes. I mean not unfortunate for him, he totally deserved it. But I would have preferred to avoid the whole encounter.”

 

Kelley waits to respond until Charlotte has placed two cups of coffee in front of them, along with cream and sugar. She starts to pour a little cream into her cup as she continues.

 

“What encounter? Was this at work last night?”

 

“It was truly awful, Kell. I had just seated some customers when I heard some guy yelling and I look over at the bar and there’s this man, he’s got to be at least 6’2”, just screaming at Ashlyn. He’d been given the wrong drink so he’s at the bar berating her and calling her an idiot and swearing.”

 

“Oh my god! And you slapped him?!”

 

“It gets so much worse first.” Ali groans, recalling the details of the horrible night. “Ash is so calm and patient with this guy but I can see on her face that she’s afraid he’s going to deck her or something.”

 

“Are you ladies ready to order?” Charlotte asks approaching the table.

 

“Uh, I got distracted. You order first, Ali. I’ll be ready in a minute.”

 

As soon as they’re done ordering, and before Charlotte has even turned all the way around, Kelley urges Ali to continue.

 

“Okay, you can see she’s afraid…” Kelley leads.

 

“Right, and at one point while this guy is ranting on and on, Ash is talking to Sam trying to get her to help sort everything out and the guy can’t stand that she’s ignoring him. He called her…” Ali hesitates before lowering her voice to a whisper, “ _a_ ‘ _fucking dyke’_. And then he threw his drink in her face and threw the glass at her!”

 

Kelley’s eyes are wide as Ali goes on.

 

“That’s when I totally lost it.”

 

“I would have too.” Kelley agrees.

 

“Personally, I’m not comfortable with that word, but I’ve got friends who are gay who use it amongst themselves, and I get it. But God, Kell, it’s entirely different when someone is saying it like it’s a justification for hating you, for _harming_ you. I couldn’t handle what he said.”

 

Kelley nods in agreement.

 

“Anyway, I went right up to him and got in his face and told him he couldn’t talk to her like and that he needed to leave immediately.”

 

“And then you slapped him?”

 

“No, then he shoved me backwards into a table.”

 

Kelley gasps but Ali continues.

 

“He came at me like he was going to hit me but thanks to my yearly self-defense classes, I grabbed his arm and kneed him right in the balls.”

 

“I thought you slapped him?”

 

“Oh, I did. As Tom was dragging him out, he decided to call me a whore and spit in my face so I slapped him.”

 

“God, that’s awful. How are you processing all this?”

 

“I’m okay, really. I was really freaked out by it at first but Ashlyn talked me down. And I’ve talked about it with my mom and Kyle, hence why I was late. And now you. So I do feel like I’ve digested the whole experience.”

 

“And what about Ashlyn?”

 

“She’s fine. It’s crazy to me that she’s just been so calm and collected about the whole thing. She said it was scary while it was happening, but that it’s over now and she doesn’t care what that asshole thinks anyway so it’s not worth her time to be upset over it.”

 

“Sounds like a pretty good way to think about it.”

 

“She’s so amazing. She was calming me down even though she was the one who was verbally assaulted by some fucking bigot who’s fragile masculinity can’t handle that she call pull off a haircut better he can. But she really, genuinely doesn’t care what this guy thinks of her. She’s the kind of person who values herself and doesn’t let anyone tell her otherwise. I think it’s the kind of thing that sometimes comes off as cockiness, but she doesn’t just believe it about herself. She truly believes _all_ people matter. She wants everyone else to realize it too. So yeah, she’s the person who will tell you how good she thinks she looks that day. But she’s also the person who is going to chat up the checker at the grocery store and mean it when she asks how their day is, and look them in the eyes when she says thank you.”

 

Just then, Charlotte comes by and places their brunch in front of them. “Enjoy, ladies!” Charlotte chirps before turning away again. Kelley takes a bite of her meal.

 

“Since we’re on the topic of Ashlyn and how you feel about her…” She says with her mouth full. “Matt told me a pretty interesting story the other day.” She finishes her bite and her sentence with smug look on her face.

 

“This is a trap. He didn’t tell you anything, he just wants you to find out if I’ll spill. And I won’t.”

 

“He says you showed up at his place back in September, drunk, with an ‘aggressively attractive’ blonde woman—“

 

“Aggressively attractive?” Ali rolls her eyes. “What does that even mean?”

 

“It means he knows she’s good-looking, but he hates it.” Kelley dismisses, “Anyway, as I was saying, you showed up and used your feminine wiles to coerce him into stitching up this woman’s hand, and then you repaid him by taking her right there on his kitchen counter.”

 

“Oh, he did not say that! And I didn’t ‘ _take her right there on the counter.’_ It was just a little kiss.”

 

“You’re right, he didn’t say that. But I can tell he’s still pining a little over you. He still sees you as the one that got away.”

 

“Well he’ll always be the last guy I ever dated.”

 

“So is it safe to assume this ‘aggressively attractive blonde’ is now a sexy brunette?”

 

“She might be...” Ali tries to play coy, taking a sip of her coffee.

 

“You’ve introduced her to your friends, and she’s obviously met your dad. Are you guys serious? I know it can’t have been that long but these are some big steps for you, Kriegs.” Kelley comments between bites.

 

“I want it to be serious, but I may have ruined that.”

 

“How so?”

 

“I was trying to make my intentions a bit more clear, and may have ended up just blurring the lines.”

 

“I’m lost. What do you mean?”

 

“I mean, I was trying to let her now that I want more than just friendship, but I’m afraid I gave too much away and now she thinks we’re like, friends with benefits or something.

 

“You slept together?!” Kelley is a little shocked.

 

“No! I kind of sent her a sexy picture…”

 

“Naked?” Kelley wags her eyebrows while shoving another bite of her omelet in her mouth.

 

“Underwear.” Ali clarifies. “And then we were texting and things got a little—heated, I guess you could say.”

 

“So you were sexting.”

 

“To put it bluntly, yes.”

 

“Al, I think you’re over thinking things a little. You haven’t gotten this far into a relationship, or whatever you want to call it, since Germany. People do stuff like this now. Just do what feels good, what feels right, and the rest will fall into place.

 

“You think?” Ali wonders.

 

“Not often, but on this, yes.”

 

“Since you brought up Germany, I’ve been talking to one of my teammates from my club there. I was sort of avoiding them for a while, but ever since I decided I’m going to try out for the league team coming here, I’ve really felt like I’m doing something valuable again.”

 

“Coaching the future of soccer is valuable.”

 

“It just felt sort of pathetic to go from playing as a professional athlete to playing on a rec team.” Ali pauses just long enough to realize how that may have sounded. “Oh my God, Kell! I’m sorry! I don’t mean that playing in a rec league isn’t—“

 

Kelley cuts her off. “Ali, it’s okay. You didn’t offend me. I get it. I play in a rec league because it’s fun and keeps me in touch with something I love. But my profession is a nurse. Yours is professional footballer. I can see how it might make you feel a little uncomfortable talking to your former teammates and telling them that you’re—“  


“A waitress in bar.” Ali finishes for her.

 

“I was going to say, ‘still figuring out your next move.’”

 

“I was feeling sort of lost career-wise and had really given up hope. But training with Ash and Alex feels like I’m going somewhere. I don’t want to get my hopes up or anything, but I think I might have a shot at getting paid to sit on that bench. I’ll have to keep my other jobs but at least I’ll feel like I’m pursuing what I really want.”

 

“I’m really happy for you, bud. I think you’ve got a shot too. I mean all three of you do.”

 

“Alex isn’t even a question. She only graduated last year and she would have been drafted for sure if she hadn’t skipped it to go play in France. It sucks that her contract fell through, but it’s only been a season. Honestly, I think she bought the house here because she knew a team was coming and that they’d want her. I’m sure the reason she’s trying out is because they’ve asked her to.”

 

“They’ve got to be excited about Ashlyn too.” Kelley adds. “It’s been longer for her, like three years, but she was such a big deal college player that if she does well at the tryouts, I can’t imagine they wouldn’t want her as a backup.”

 

“Wait. What?” Ali is trying to recall all the conversations they’ve had about soccer and coming up blank. “I guess she’s really skirted around her college years. I can’t believe I didn’t know this.”

 

“She played for UNC, won all kinds of awards and championships. I don’t know what happened or why she skipped the draft but apparently she moved back here. You were in Germany for most of it, so you probably weren’t so focused on the college scene.”

 

Ali doesn’t know if she should feel hurt or concerned that she hasn’t heard this story yet. She decides if Ashlyn hasn’t talked about it with her, there’s a reason. She settles her mind a little with another long drink of her coffee, deciding to ask Ash about it next time it comes up.

 

The pair finish their brunch and stay for one last cup of coffee, catching up on everything in Kelley’s world too. After they finally part, Ali heads home and thinks a lot about finally talking to Ashlyn, but also about just doing what feels right and letting things fall into place.


	15. Sorry Not Sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one is on the shorter side, but I think you'll still like it. Maybe. I'll be anxiously awaiting your feedback...

Astronomy holds an annual holiday party on the first Wednesday in December. They close their doors to the public and invite all the employees and their families to celebrate the season with food, drinks, and four extra hours of pay tacked onto their checks. After working every day for more than a week, and the events of Saturday night, Ali is looking forward to the night, as well as not having to work again until Saturday. She doesn’t plan to get smashed at a work function, but she’s not opposed to a couple of drinks and a little dancing with her friends. More specifically, with Ashlyn.

 

Ashlyn decides to drive both her and Ali, knowing that she’ll be leaving the next day to head home for her Grandmother’s birthday party on Friday, so she won’t be drinking much.

 

“Al?” Ashlyn calls as she enters Ali’s apartment and finds the kitchen and living room empty.

 

“In here!” Ali calls from the bedroom.

 

“Hey.” Ashlyn says, leaning against the doorframe, watching Ali turn side to side in front of her floor-length mirror to view her outfit with the two different shoes she’s currently wearing.

 

“What do you think?” Ali asks.

 

“Very avant-garde.” Ashlyn replies.

 

“I’m serious. Which one?” Ali asks again, a little impatient.

 

“If I tell you which one I like are you going to automatically choose the other one?”

 

“No!” Ali scoffs.

 

“Okay, then I like the heels.”

 

“I’m wearing the ankle boots.” Ali decides.

 

“Good. I like those ones better.” Ashlyn smirks.

 

Ashlyn thinks Ali looks amazing in the black pencil skirt she loves so much, and the gold, sequin tank she’s wearing. Her hair is down and swept over one shoulder, just like the night they met back in September. Ali is equally as taken by Ashlyn’s look. She’s wearing fitted black pants, a black t-shirt, a plum colored jacket, and black boots, her hair in it’s perfect signature coif. The pair look good together and they both know it, stopping to take selfies multiple times that night. Ali is feeling particularly smitten with Ashlyn tonight, and the way she keeps her hand on the small of her back, opens doors, and pulls out chairs for her really isn’t helping.

 

The first part of the evening is fairly laid back. Several tables are pushed together so the entire staff and their families can sit together at one long table and share a meal. The food is fantastic and the wine is flowing. Ashlyn becomes fast friends with Tom’s two-year-old son Max and spends a good portion of the evening chasing the toddler around. When he gets tired, he insists on Ashlyn holding him, so she scoops him up and carries him around until his mother decides it’s well past his bedtime and takes him home. Ali tries not to take too many pictures of them. She also tries not to melt into a puddle right there in the restaurant.

 

Once the families with children have made their way home, the party atmosphere shifts a little. Guests switch to liquor, and the music gets a little louder. Ali finds herself trying to get closer and closer to Ashlyn as the night goes on. The touches start out mostly subtle, a graze of the arm, a hand on the back of her chair. But around midnight, and three (or four) glasses of wine later, she’s a little more obvious, with her hand on Ashlyn’s thigh or reaching up to the back of her neck. When Ashlyn excuses herself a moment to go say hello to someone, Alex slides into her seat.

 

“What? No hand on my thigh?” Alex looks at Ali expectantly.

 

“Sorry, not sorry. She looks so good tonight and, I don’t know, I just feel really connected to her right now.” Ali stares off and watches Ashlyn as she laughs with a fellow who works in the kitchen.

 

After a minute of this, Alex takes a napkin and starts dabbing at the corner of Ali’s mouth. Ali pulls back and glares at Alex.

 

“You had a little drool there.”

 

“I thought you supported this?”

 

“I do. But you guys are so sweet it’s sickening. I’ve gotten three cavities in last 20 minutes watching you.”

 

“Oh, come on. We’re not that bad!”

 

“You really are.

 

“Fine then, I’ll tone it down.” Ali shrugs.

 

“Oh no, honey. I don’t think you should stop, I think you should do something about it.” Alex winks at Ali as she gets up and heads to the bar, just as Ashlyn returns.

 

“Did she just wink at you?”

 

“Maybe.”

 

“You gonna meet her in the supply closet in 10 or something?” Ashlyn laughs at her own joke and looks at Ali with a smile.

 

Ali meets her eyes and gets lost for a moment. Kelley’s “do what feels right” and Alex’s “do something about it” reverberate through her mind. Maybe a little bit of Kyle’s “think more Rhianna” too. Suddenly she’s standing, a devilish smile on her face, grabbing Ashlyn’s hand and leading her away.

 

“You really love sneaking off at parties, don’t you?” Ashlyn asks as they reach the supply closet.

 

Ali opens the door and pushes Ashlyn inside. Ashlyn quickly takes control of the situation, pushing Ali up against the door behind her. She kisses her fiercely, her tongue finding the inside of Ali’s mouth almost immediately. Ali lets out a quiet moan at the contact. Ashlyn’s hand finds Ali’s waist as she pushes her even more against the door, pressing her body into hers. They continue kissing until their breath is heavy and hearts are racing. Ali moves to Ashlyn’s neck, trailing kisses down it, and then running her tongue gently behind her ear. Ashlyn can’t control the little gasp when Ali blows lightly into her ear.

 

“You just couldn’t resist another make out sesh.” Ashlyn says breathily

 

“I don’t want to make out with you” Ali says into her neck.

 

“No? Oh, okay.” Ashlyn teases, pulling away.

 

Ali reaches out with both hands and aggressively pulls Ashlyn back into her by her jacket. As their lips meet again, Ali slides the jacket off Ashlyn. Free of the item of clothing, Ashlyn moves her hands back to Ali’s waist. But Ali places her hand over one of Ashlyn’s and guides it down below the hem of her skirt, and then slowly guides it up between her legs.

 

“Al.” Ashlyn breathes out.

 

“I want you.” Ali whispers in Ashlyn’s ear. “I want to be _with_ you.”

 

Ashlyn shivers as she feels the heat between Ali’s legs and her fingers touch soft skin.

 

“Oh, _shit_.” Ashlyn practically moans out. “You’re not—“

 

“No panties.” Ali smirks.

 

Ali continues to guide Ashlyn until the heat turns to wetness. Ali lets out a small moan at her touch, biting her bottom lip to quell it. Ashlyn closes her eyes and presses her forehead to Ali’s.

 

“I, uh, I…” But Ashlyn can’t complete a coherent thought. She begins to slowly move her fingers before what’s happening catches up with her. She pulls her hand away quickly, her eyes still closed.

 

“Hey.” Ali says softly. “Look at me.” She grabs Ashlyn’s wrist again.

 

Ashlyn opens her eyes and stares at Ali, as Ali brings Ashlyn’s hand to her lips, taking the fingers previously between her own legs into her mouth and sucking gently.

 

“Ali.” Ashlyn says a bit more seriously, although she shivers again. Ali releases her hand. “I can’t do this.”

 

“What?” Ali’s face twists from confusion to hurt.

 

“I _want_ to do this.  _God_ do I want to do this.” Ashlyn explains, her voice low. “But I can’t do this like _this_. I don’t want to just fuck you in a supply closet.”

 

Ali understands, but doesn’t really like it. She pouts slightly.

 

“Ali.” Ashlyn laughs at her response. “When we do this, and I do mean when, I want things to be defined between us. I want to do more than just send dirty texts or make out at parties. I want to hold your hand and put my arm around you and tell you how beautiful you are anytime the thought crosses my mind. Which is always, by the way.”

 

Ali wraps her arms around Ashlyn’s waist and pulls her in a little closer.

 

“I want to this to be real when it happens.” Ashlyn finishes, kissing Ali gently.

 

“Are you telling me that all I had to do to get you to commit was try and seduce you in a supply closet? That’ll be a story for the grandkids!” Ali quips.

 

“Guess you should have tried it sooner.” Ashlyn plays back.

 

“I want all that too, Ash.” Ali says, her tone more serious than before. “I want it to be real too.”

 

Ashlyn just grins and leans in for another kiss.

 

“But since we both want the same thing, and we’ve both actually _admitted_ we want the same thing…” Ali suggests.

 

“Al.” Ashlyn lightly scolds. “We can’t. If we do this right now, like this, you could end up thinking I only said these things so I could fuck you.”

 

“But I was going to let you _before_ you said any of that.” Ali points out. Ashlyn just rolls her eyes.

 

“Fiiine.” Ali whines. She slides over to allow Ashlyn to open the door.

 

Ashlyn picks her jacket up off the floor and puts it back on, straightening out her appearance to go back to the party. She has her hand on the door when she notices Ali hasn’t made any effort to move. She turns her attention to Ali, only to find her running her own hand under her skirt, between her legs. Ashlyn gulps.

 

“W-what are you doing?” She chokes out.

 

“Come here and I’ll show you.” Ali’s breathing is picking up again.

 

“Ali” Ashlyn scolds again.

 

“I can’t go back out there right now. I’m too wound up.” Ali explains. “You can stay if you want.” Ali never stops her movements.

 

Ashlyn lets out a long, slow breath before kissing Ali on the temple, and leaving her alone in the supply closet.


	16. Don't Hold Out on Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think about this one in the comments!

Ashlyn returns to the party looking a little frazzled. She finds a seat next to Alex, who promptly takes in her appearance. She notices the vacant look on her face, like her mind is somewhere else, and her flushed cheeks and swollen lips.

 

“Where’s Ali?” Alex asks.

 

“Oh, uh, she uh, she had to take care of something. She’ll be back in a minute.” Ashlyn says trying to hide the nervousness in her voice.

 

“Hm.” Alex narrows her eyes at the short-haired brunette beside her.

 

“What?” Ashlyn tries to ask casually, but she won’t make eye contact with Alex.

 

“You guys were totally making out weren’t you?! You’re like a couple of teenagers!”

 

“Yes, making out. That is what we were doing. Can’t get anything by you!” Ashlyn says, silently praying that Alex doesn’t ask any further questions.

 

“I’m actually not surprised at all,” Alex says taking a quick sip of her drink before continuing. “I mean, I _did_ tell her to stop drooling over you and do something about it. I just still can’t believe it when she actually decides to do it. You’ve brought out this whole new side of Ali Krieger and she’s kind of amazing.”

 

“Not kind of. Definitely is.” Ashlyn adds.

 

Ali rejoins the party, walking right up to Ashlyn and sitting on her lap. No one seems to pay any mind to the gesture, but Ashlyn forgets how to breathe for just a second. Not long after Ali’s return the party slows down and Ali and Ashlyn head to the parking lot hand in hand, their fingers laced together. Alex follows a little way behind them, snickering.

 

Thursday morning, Ali is having a lazy day. She’s in a short pair of cotton shorts and the St. Mary’s hospital tee that she lent Ashlyn the first night they met, her hair thrown on top of her head in a messy bun. She’s lounging on her couch, listening to records when her phone rings.

 

“Hey, stranger.” Ali answers.

 

“So what are you up to today?”

 

“Well, I just finished painting my nails and now I’m contemplating ordering pizza for dinner even though it’s--“ She glances at the clock on the wall, “ten in the morning.”

 

“What if instead of pizza, I offered you a family potluck and birthday cake.”

 

“Depends on the family. Are we just crashing random birthday parties or do I know these people?”

 

“You know of them.”

 

“Are you asking me to crash your grandma’s birthday?” Ali asks.

 

“Technically you aren’t crashing when you’re invited.”

 

“And you’re inviting me?”

 

“Well Grandma invited you first, but yes.”

 

“If she invited me, why am I just hearing about it now?”

 

“Because if I told you when I got back after Thanksgiving you would have just panicked over it for the last two weeks. Probably would have dragged me to the mall to help you find grandma-approved outfits. This way it’s fun and spontaneous!”

 

“If you tell me you’re outside right now and we’re leaving in 10 minutes or something equally unreasonable I’m going to be so pissed.” Ali warns.

 

“Don’t worry. I’ll be there in an hour, with coffee. And try not to overthink this okay? We’re only going to be gone two nights.”

 

“You had better hope I have some grandma-approved outfits in my closet.”

 

“See you in an hour!” Ashlyn laughs out as she hangs up the phone.

 

An hour later Ashlyn opens Ali’s front door with coffee in hand, as promised. Ali has changed into jeans and a flowy, black top. Her hair is still up in a bun, but it’s much neater than before.

 

“Coffee!” Ali excitedly grabs the cup Ashlyn holds out to her.

 

“It’s nice to see you too.” Ashlyn quips.

 

“Oh, hey Ash! I didn’t see you there.” Ali jokes back.

 

“You ready to go?” Ashlyn asks. “I want to get there in time to put Gram’s Christmas lights up before it gets dark.”

 

“All set.” Ali says, hoisting her duffle bag over her shoulder.

 

The pair make their way to the parking lot, Ashlyn taking Ali’s bag and putting in the back while Ali climbs in the jeep.

 

“So who all will be at this party?” Ali makes conversation as Ashlyn pulls out of the parking lot.

 

“My dad. His brother and sister, so my aunt and uncle. My brother Chris, and probably three of my cousins and their families.”

 

“Your nephew?” Ali asks excitedly.

 

“Yep. I’m so excited for you to meet him.”

 

“Me too! He’s so cute. I can’t wait.”

 

“My mom might stop by too but she won’t stay long.”

 

“No?”

 

“Nah. My parents’ divorce was pretty messy. They’re way better now than when I was in high school but they still try and limit their time together. Mom will probably drop by just long enough to wish Grandma a happy birthday and bug me about my life. You know, ask me about work, if I’m seeing anyone, that kind of stuff.”

 

“Oh yeah?” Ali’s heart rate picks up a little. “And are you? Seeing someone, that is?”

 

“I’d sure like to be.” Ashlyn says placing a hand on Ali’s thigh. “I mean, if you’re okay with it?”

 

“Well I don’t know. Have I met this girl?” Ali says with a smirk.

 

“Hmm,” Ashlyn pretends to think on it. “You might have. She’s a total babe, dark hair, wicked sense of humor.”

 

“You forgot ‘badass.’” Ali adds

 

“Right.” Ashlyn nods. “Definitely a badass.”

 

Ali takes hold of the hand Ashlyn is currently resting on her leg and shoots her a giant smile.

 

“Well since she sounds so amazing, I think I’m definitely okay with it.”

 

They arrive at Grandma Harris’ house around noon, the older woman waiting for them at the door as they make their way up the walk, Ashlyn carrying both their bags.

 

“Hey, Gram!” Ashlyn calls up to her grandmother.

“Hi, honey. You two are just in time for lunch.” She holds the screen door open for Ali and Ashlyn.

 

“Grandma, this is Ali.” Ashlyn introduces.

 

“It’s very nice to meet you Mrs. Harris. Thank you so much for having me.” Ali says sticking out her hand.

 

“It is a pleasure to have you here.” Grandma Harris says, hugging the girl instead. “Ashlyn, sweetie, you go put those bags in your room. Ali, you come with me and get something to eat.”

 

Ali follows the woman into the kitchen who pulls a chair out for her before turning to the counter to bring over a stack of plates and paper napkins, followed by a plate of sandwiches and bowl of potato salad. She sets a plate in front of Ali and places a sandwich on it, then a large spoonful of the salad.

 

“Thank you so much.” Ali says, feeling just a little awkward with the older woman waiting on her. “This looks great.”

 

“You are so welcome, sweetheart. Is water alright?” She asks pulling three glasses from the cupboard.

 

“Yes, that would be great, thank you.”

 

“I can get that Grandma, you sit down and eat.” Ashlyn says as she enters the kitchen and takes the glasses from her grandmother.

 

Ashlyn brings over glasses of water for everyone and joins her grandmother and Ali at the table.

 

“I text Chris and he’s going to come over and help me put the Christmas lights up.” Ashlyn directs to Grandma.

 

“You kids take such good care of me. I’ll have you get the tree down too. Maybe Ali can help me put it up while you’re out there doing the dangerous stuff.” Grandma suggests.

 

“I’d love too!” Ali’s face lights up. “I love Christmas. It’s my favorite holiday. Decorating is the best part.”

 

“I like it too,” Grandma agrees, smiling at Ali.

 

The three eat their lunch, making casual conversation about work and training and Grandma Harris’ book club. As they’re finishing up, a tall, broad shoulder-man with brown hair and a scruffy beard walks into the kitchen.

 

“Hey, Sis!” the man says, mussing Ashlyn’s hair.

 

“Watch the hair, Bro!” she complains, trying to dodge him.

 

“Chris, leave your sister alone. Do you want a sandwich?” Grandma says already putting one on a plate for him.

 

“Thanks, Grandma.” Chris takes the plate from the woman. He picks up the sandwich with one hand and takes a giant bite before he’s even set the plate in front of him. Then he grabs Ashlyn’s glass of water, finishing it as he washes down the bite. He looks to Ali.

 

“You must be Ali.” Chris says to her.

 

“Um.” Ali looks confused and a little offended. “Ali…? Who’s Ali, Ash?” She glares at Ashlyn.

 

Chris’ face pales. “Oh shit.” He says nervously. “No. I didn’t mean Ali. I’m not good with names and uh, um—“Chris sputters out, desperately trying to cover.

 

Ashlyn tries to keep up the rouse but can’t and bursts out laughing. Grandma Harris joins her, getting up and patting Chris on the back as she begins clearing plates.

 

“Sorry, Chris.” Ali says with a smug look on her face. “I just couldn’t help myself.”

 

“Oh man!” Ashlyn continues to laugh. “You should have seen the look on your face!”

 

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” Chris tries to brush it off. “I guess it’s nice to meet you Ali. Although it’s clear you’ve already spent too much time with my sister.”

 

“No such thing.” Ali says smiling at Ashlyn.

 

“Just wait.” Chris says, ducking when Ashlyn reaches out to smack the back of his head.

 

“Alright you two,” Grandma cuts in. “Go get the things down in the garage so Ali and I can get started on the tree.”

 

“Yes, ma’am” the siblings say in unison. Chris crams the last, rather large, bite of his sandwich in his mouth as they hurry off.

 

Ali collects the rest of the plates from the table and helps load them into the dishwasher and clean up while Ashlyn and Chris bring the boxes of Christmas decorations into the living room. When they’re done, the siblings set to work outside, the muffled sounds of bickering carrying into the room every so often. Ali helps Grandma Harris put together her artificial tree, Ali following instructions as Grandma directs.

 

“Ashlyn tells me you played soccer professionally in Germany.” Grandma says handing Ali a box of red ball ornaments to distribute throughout the branches.

 

“I did. I was there two years until an injury brought me home. I had sort of given up on the idea of playing professionally again until Ashlyn convinced me to train with her and Alex. Even if it doesn’t work out, it’s given me a new sense of purpose, and something to work for. I’m so grateful to her for giving that back to me.”

 

“I’m grateful for her too. You must know quite a lot about soccer then?”

 

“I’d like to think I do.”

 

“Then can you tell me how my Ashlyn is looking for these tryouts?” Ali can sense that the older woman is anxious over it.

 

“She definitely has a shot. She’s in great shape right now. And her style is so different from what I usually see, but she’s good at it. It works for her and I think that sets her apart.” Ali says honestly.

 

“Good. I’m glad to hear that. I don’t want her to miss another opportunity. You know, when she moved in here after college to take care of me I was so angry with her for throwing away her chance to do what she’d worked so hard for. But she told me being here was more important and if I wanted to be mad she didn’t care. I’m a proud woman, but I can admit now that I did need her during that time. It wasn’t easy for any of us when I was sick and here she was holding us all together. It’s about time all the good she gave comes back to her.”

 

Ali is shocked by what Grandma Harris has just unknowingly revealed to her. She tries not to let the shock show on her face as takes it all in. Ashlyn had been a promising young player all throughout college, ready to enter the league and make a name for herself. Instead, she had walked away from all of it because her family had needed her. And according to her grandmother, she had done it in true Ashlyn fashion, without a second thought or a single regret.

 

Ali and Grandma Harris fall into a comfortable silence as they continue to decorate the tree. A while later, the two women hear a loud crash, a yelp, and a couple of expletives from outside and both go rushing out the front door onto the porch.

 

“Ashlyn Harris if you fell off that ladder and hurt yourself I am going to be so mad at you!” Ali yells from beside the older woman.

 

“I’m sorry,” Ashlyn says rubbing the back of her head. “Which one of you said that? I can’t tell.”

 

“Just tell us if you’re alright, Ashlyn” Grandma scolds.

 

“Yes, I’m fine. I didn’t fall of the ladder.” Ashlyn continues to rub her head.

 

“But she did run into it!” Chris calls out with a laugh.

 

“Are you alright?” Ali asks with concern.

 

“I’m really fine. I swear.”

 

“Good. Because your grandmother and I are having a wonderful time and I really don’t want to interrupt that to take you to the hospital. Again.” Ali says.

 

Grandma lets out a little laugh and turns to hold the door open for Ali, following after her as she passes through.

 

Everyone enjoys the evening, just hanging out and chatting. Because the potluck is actually tomorrow night, Ashlyn suggests they order pizza for dinner. Everyone agrees but Ali insists on paying as a thank you. Chris stays for dinner before heading back home when Grandma Harris leaves for her book group. Ali and Ashlyn decide they’ll change into pajamas and watch a movie so Ashlyn leads them back to the bedroom. Ali takes in the room, the photos of Ashlyn with family members and high school friends, the awards and trophies and newspaper clippings.

 

“Wow, it’s like a shrine to you in here.” Ali teases.

 

“Grandma gets a little carried away. She insists on saving all this stuff so of course it ends up in here.”

 

“She’s really proud of you.” Ali says sincerely.

 

Ali picks up a photo of Ashlyn with her college team, holding up a large championship trophy. “I wanted to ask you about something.” Ali hesitates a moment. “If you don’t want to talk about it that’s okay, but I want to ask.”

 

“You can ask me anything, Al.”

 

“Why don’t you ever talk about playing in college? Why didn’t you tell me that you left soccer to come home and take care of your grandma?”

 

Ashlyn knew this question might be coming. “It isn’t because I don’t trust you. I hope you know that. It’s going to sound kind of stupid.”

 

“I won’t think it’s stupid.” Ali reassures.

 

“It’s sort of like a superstition. I don’t want to talk about it because I’m afraid things won’t work out. Like if I talk about college and the kind of player I was, I might not ever be good enough again. Or if I talk about taking care of my grandma, she might get sick again. I just don’t want to jinx it.”

 

“I get it.” Ali says understandingly, “It’s a way to cope with being afraid.”

 

Ashlyn lets out a big sigh. “Yeah. It is. I sort of hate admitting that I’m still afraid but I am. I think I always will be just a little.”

 

“That makes sense, Ash. When it comes to people or things you care about a great deal, it makes sense that you’d want everything to be okay.”

 

“I’m a lot less afraid when I’m with you, Al.”

 

Ali blushes and turns back to the photos she was looking at on the dresser.

 

“Alright, Harris. Where are the pictures of you as prom queen? Don’t hold out on me.”

 

“Sorry, you’ll have to wait and ask Gram for those. I’m not caving.”

 

“Don’t think I won’t ask. I _will_ see those pictures before we leave.”

 

Ashlyn rolls her eyes and walks over to her bag sitting on the bed to get her sweats and a t-shirt.

 

“I put your bag over here” Ashlyn gestures to it. “But don’t worry about the sleeping situation. Grandma has a very comfortable sleeper sofa. You’ll stay in here and I’ll sleep out there.”

 

“What if I don’t want you to sleep out there?” Ali asks a bit suggestively.

 

“I thought you were against forced bed-sharing?” Ashly quirks an eyebrow at her.

 

“It’s not forced. Or accidental. It’s totally intentional bed-sharing and I’m very into that.” Ali replies.

 

Ashlyn and Ali enjoy their movie, and that night, they crawl into bed together. Ashlyn wraps her arms around Ali, who snuggles into her. It’s sweet and comforting. In the morning, they both think they’ve never slept better in their life.

 

The birthday party is a big success. Everyone in Ashlyn’s family is thrilled to meet Ali, especially Ashlyn’s mother, who ends up staying much longer than she normally would so she can get to know her. Ashlyn’s nephew takes an immediate liking to Ali and Ashlyn is quickly replaced as the favorite. Ashlyn would have been jealous if the two didn’t look so damn cute together, walking hand-in-hand around the house, or with Ali holding him on her hip while she sways to the music playing on the back porch. Towards the end of the party, Ashlyn finds Ali sitting in an arm chair by the Christmas tree, just admiring it. Her nephew is fast asleep with his head resting heavily against Ali’s shoulder as she gently rubs his back. Ashlyn nearly tears up at the sight.

 

After everyone has left, Ashlyn insists that Grandma go sit down and read while her and Ali clean things up. It takes a little convincing but she finally relents, leaving Ashlyn and Ali on the porch, stuffing plates and napkins and wrapping paper into garbage bags. Ashlyn hooks her phone up to the Bluetooth speakers that had been providing music for the party. _Brandi Carlile_ ’s cover of “Can’t Help Falling in Love” begins to play softly as they clean up.

 

_Wise men say  
Only fools rush in,_

“Oh, I love this song!” Ali says happily.

_But I can't help falling in love with you._

“I’ve never heard this version before though.” She adds. She pauses to really listen a moment.

_Shall I stay_  
Would it be a sin,  
If I can't help falling in love with you.

“It’s one of my favorites.” Ashlyn comments.

“I really like it.” Ali looks into her eyes.

_Like a river flows_  
Surely to the sea  
Darling so it goes  
Some things are meant to be 

Suddenly, a wave of realization comes crashing over Ashlyn. Standing there, looking into Ali’s eyes, everything is clear. The words to a classic love song resonating with her in a whole new way. She can’t bring herself to break Ali’s stare. She doesn’t want to.

__  
Take my hand  
Take my whole life too,  
For I can't help falling in love with you

 

“Al, I made a mistake with you.” Ashlyn speaks, her tone serious.

 

Ali’s smile drops as she takes in Ashlyn’s words. Her eyes become glassy as confusion turns to hurt.

 

“No, no, no!” Ashlyn rushes closer, placing a hand on Ali’s cheek and stroking it gently with her thumb. “That’s not what I meant.”

 

“What did you mean?” Ali whispers, holding back tears.

 

“I mean that I’m not okay with you and I just ‘seeing’ each other. You are so much more to me than that. I’ve spent all this time trying to earn your trust and prove to you that I’m someone you can be certain about. I wanted to learn everything about you so we could go out on that first date and I could show you that I won’t hurt you and then we could go on a second and a third and a thousandth date. But I was so busy trying to give you certainty that I didn’t stop to realize what was happening. I wasn’t really trying to convince you of anything, I was falling in love with you. I _am_ in love with you. I know it’s a lot and it’s fast but you deserve to know what’s real and what you’re getting into. I’ll understand if you don’t—“

 

Ali cuts her off by pressing her lips to Ashlyn’s. She kisses her slowly, sweetly. The passion building as each second passes. They break away with hearts pounding.

 

“I love you too, Ashlyn. I’m in love with you, too.” Ali says breathlessly.

 

That night, when they get into bed, everything feels different. It feels right. Ali’s back is pressed into Ashlyn’s front, with Ashlyn’s arms securely around her, and her chin resting on Ali’s shoulder. Ashlyn does what she’s often dreamed of, she holds Ali while she feels the rise and fall of her chest even out as she drifts off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you haven't heard this particular cover: https://youtu.be/vuHxSnp-6vY


	17. DTR

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think in the comments! And, of course, thank you for reading!

Ali carefully slides out of Ashlyn’s embrace and quietly sneaks out of the room. She was so happy to know that everything she felt for Ashlyn was returned, yet her mind, for some reason, wouldn’t let her enjoy it too long. She makes her way down the hall towards the kitchen where she notices the light is on. As she enter the kitchen, she finds Grandma Harris sipping a mug of tea and flipping through the pages of a magazine.

 

“Hi Mrs. Harris” Ali says quietly.

 

“Ali, sweetheart, what are you doing up?”

 

“I’d love to tell you I just needed a glass of water, but it wouldn’t be the truth.” Ali sighs. “I can’t get my brain to shut up.” Ali explains.

 

“Well sit down, honey. The water is still hot, I’ll make you some tea.”

 

Ali gives an appreciative smile and sits down. When Grandma turns around to the stove, Ali drops her head in her hands and lets out a long sigh. Grandma returns a moment later and places a mug in front of the girl with a pat on her shoulder.

 

“The best way to get a mind to clear is to free whatever is bouncing around and making all that noise in there.” Grandma tells her.

 

“I know you’re right.” Ali looks dismayed. “But I feel like I shouldn’t be telling you any of this.”

 

“Try me.” Grandma encourages.

 

“Ashlyn told me she’s in love with me tonight.” Ali says, staring into her mug.

 

“I see,” Grandma replies.

 

“And I’m truly _thrilled_ about it because I’m in love with her too.” Ali continues, genuinely. “I know you might think that sounds kind of crazy because we aren’t—weren’t? —I guess I don’t really know,” Ali mumbles, “either way, dating.” She finishes.

“We went straight from friendship to love, but there was always something more between us. We both knew it. Honestly, I’ve never felt this way about anyone in my life. She’s… _different_. She said all these beautiful words to me about how she was trying to take her time and build this trust with me, but the whole time she was falling in love, and how it all just sort of hit her at once. It wasn’t like that for me though. I’ve known since before Halloween, when we were having coffee on my balcony one morning and all I could think was, ‘this— _she_ –is my happy place.’” Ali can’t keep the smile on her face as she remembers that morning.

 

“I mean I almost blurted out that I loved her when we snuck off to make out at Alex’s—oh!” Ali covers her mouth with both hands, eyes wide and cheeks burning, in realization of what she’s just said to Ashlyn’s grandmother.

 

“It’s okay, honey,” Grandma Harris chuckles. “I’m not scandalized by making out. I’ve even done it myself,” She says with a wink.

 

Ali lets out a small laugh, although she’s still mortified.

 

“So you’re in love with each other.” Grandma states. “What’s the problem?”

 

“Honestly? I’m afraid I’m going to screw it all up. Every single relationship I’ve ever had has ended with me not loving the other person enough. I don’t want that for us.” Ali is anguished.

 

“I’m always so cautious with relationships. I never move quickly like this. I have so many expectations and requirements to be sure that the other person isn’t going to hurt me, that I hardly get past just a few dates. With Ashlyn that all went out the window. I didn’t _want_ to think about any of that, I just wanted to be near her, and know her. I don’t care if she breaks my heart if it means we can have what we do right now. So now she told me she loves me and I’m terrified I’m not going to be enough, or that I won’t be able to give her what she deserves. What if I don’t love her enough too?”

 

“Don’t you hear yourself?” Grandma Harris asks “You’ve said you’ve never felt this way before, and that you’ve thrown all protocol out the window. How can you assume this relationship will end the like others, when it’s already nothing like them?”

 

Ali bites her lip as she thinks about what the older woman has said. Grandma continues.

 

“Fear is almost always responsible for destruction. It starts wars and destroys families. It’s the very reason that man attacked you and Ashlyn the other night. But it’s not _being_ afraid that ruins everything, it’s how we handle feeling that way. How big we let that fear grow. If you feed the other things in your life, like love, and understanding, those things will grow much bigger than fear and then it doesn’t stand a chance. Think about what the fear is really trying to tell you, and learn from it. When you do that, you can let it go. You can use what you learn to feed the love and understanding.”

 

“What do you mean?” Ali asks. “How do I know what it’s trying to tell me?”

 

“Well fear feeds on your insecurities and the things that make you feel vulnerable.”

 

“Love makes me feel vulnerable. It’s scary to be in a place where someone can hurt you. It’s scary that someone could know me so well, that I could give them everything I have, and it might not be enough. I’ve spent a long time pushing people away because I don’t want them to hurt me. I trust Ashlyn though, I don’t really know why she’s so different, but she is.”

 

“You told me earlier that you’re grateful to her, for encouraging you, and helping you find a sense of purpose.” Grandma states.

 

“I am. She did.” Again, Ali can’t help but smile.

 

“Well maybe she’s so different because she gives you something. She makes you a better version of yourself. Can you say the same for others in the past?”

 

Ali thinks on it for a moment. She can’t say it’s true because it isn’t. She dated some wonderful people, she’s even been in love, but no one really had any impact on who she was or what she wanted.

 

“No, I can’t, but that feels selfish. To think that I care about her so much because of what she gives me.” Ali admits.

 

“Oh honey, you’ve got to let that go,” Grandma Harris says shaking her head. “We have got to stop teaching people, especially women, that they’re selfish if they stop to think about their own needs or wants in a relationship. Loving blindly with no regard to yourself ends in failure every time.” Grandma places her hand over Ali’s on the table.

 

“You know when you’re on an airplane and they tell you to put the mask on yourself before helping anyone else?” The older woman looks to Ali who nods.

 

“Well, it’s like that in relationships too. In order to be a good partner, you have to think about what you need to be happy and fulfilled. That isn’t to say that it doesn’t go both ways, of course. When you love someone, that person should make you want to be better and work harder and you should do the same for them. Selfishness is when one person doesn’t care what the other person gets out it. And I don’t mean ego, either. It’s not about someone telling you you’re beautiful or giving you your value or worth. You can’t get all your happiness and fulfillment from someone else. It's not only too much to ask of another person but it’s impossible. Love asks, ‘does this person make you want to strive for more, be more?’ Do they help you see your value as a person, for yourself, and not just see it for you?”

 

“Yes!” Ali says, her fear slipping away. “She’s all of that! But, God, I just want to be sure I can do the same for her.”

 

“You trust her?”

 

“I really do.” Ali nods.

 

“Then trust that if she needs something from you, she’ll tell you.”

 

“You are such a wise woman, Mrs. Harris.”

 

“Oh, that’s just what happens when you get old. You finally figure out what all the shit you struggled through when you were young and stupid really means.”

 

Ali’s jaw drops just a little at the sweet woman swearing, but she’s grinning at her.

 

“Al?” a sleep-laden voice mumbles from the doorway. “Oh, hey Gram.” Ashlyn adds. She squints as the bright light of the kitchen hits her eyes.

 

“Sorry, I got up to get some water and got caught up with your grandma.” Ali says to Ashlyn.

 

“Oh, okay. Everything’s okay?” Ashlyn asks with a yawn.

 

“Really okay, actually. You go back to bed, I’ll be there in a minute. Just as soon as your grandma here shows me those prom pictures.”

 

“This must be a nightmare.” Ashlyn mumbles sleepily as she turns and shuffles out of the kitchen.

 

Grandma Harris pulls out the prom pictures for Ali, who laughs so hard she cries. Grandma gives Ali an extra copy of photo of Ashlyn in her floor-length gown, complete with tiara and sash. The older woman beams when she shares all the details of that night and Ali can see how much this woman shaped the life of the girl she loves. Ali crawls back in bed with Ashlyn a little while later, her heart and mind light, and enjoys the feeling of Ashlyn reaching out for her in her sleep.

 

Ali and Ashlyn wake up early the next morning to make breakfast for Grandma Harris, and of course Chris comes by too. Ashlyn flips pancakes while Ali scrambles eggs and makes coffee. Two of her specialties. The four eat breakfast together, laughing and talking. Ali wants to be surprised by how at home she feels, but she isn’t. After breakfast, Ali and Ashlyn get on the road so they can get back to work that night. As Ashlyn is putting their bags in the car, Ali hangs back a moment.

 

“I wanted to say thank you again, Mrs. Harris. Not just for having me, but for talking to me last night. You could have been a lot less understanding about the whole thing but you weren’t and I can’t tell you how much it means to me.” Ali says as the older woman wraps an arm around her shoulder.

 

Grandma Harris just smiles and kisses Ali on cheek.

 

Ashlyn and Ali have been driving about half an hour, spending the last few minutes just listening to the radio, and taking in the sights around them.

 

“Hey, Ash?” Ali asks.

 

“Yeah, babe?”

 

Ali’s face breaks into a huge smile. “ _Babe_. I like that.”

 

“You said it first.” Ashlyn says.

 

“What? When?” Ali is confused.

 

“In the hospital, after my surgery. You called me ‘babe.’”

 

“Oh my God! You remember that?!” Ali is genuinely shocked Ashlyn remembered anything from recovery.

 

“I only remember bits and pieces after surgery but I how could I ever forget you calling me ‘babe?’”

 

Ali just reaches for Ashlyn’s hand.

 

“But what were you asking?” Ashlyn reminds.

 

“Oh, yeah. I wanted to talk to you. About yesterday.” Ali says seriously, giving Ashlyn’s hand a squeeze.

 

“You’re not going to take it back are you?” Ashlyn is trying to joke, but Ali can hear the fear behind it.

 

“No, definitely not taking it back.” Ali reassures. “I just feel like you said all this nice stuff and I just kissed you.”

 

“Well you don’t see me complaining.” Ashlyn smirks.

 

Ali lets out a small laugh. “I’m not complaining either. But I still want to tell you that I care about you a lot and I really appreciate what you did for me taking things slow and giving me time to trust you, to be sure. I mean we sort of went from taking things slow to jumping right in but it still means a lot to me what you did. The truth is though, I was sure about you from day one. From the first night we met, you made me want to take risks and embrace uncertainty. It might sound a little strange but that’s exactly what made me so sure of you. I figured if someone could make me feel that way they must be special.”

 

“You know, I had a similar thought. Only the other way around. I’m usually pretty impulsive. Act first, think later. And you changed all that the moment I met you. You made me want to think things through and do everything right for you.” Ashlyn explains.

 

“I know we did the whole confessing our love thing, but we didn’t really DTR.” Ali says.

 

“You and your acronyms.” Ashlyn laughs.

 

“Hey, I didn’t make up DTR. Everyone knows ‘Define The Relationship.’” Ali defends herself.

 

“Well, T-B-H, I want to be your G-F.” Ashlyn jokes.

 

Ali rolls her eyes.

 

“I’m hoping,” Ashlyn says more seriously, “that you and I are together. An item. Girlfriends.”

 

“I would like that very much.” Ali says with a grin.

 

“I’m also hoping,” Ashlyn adds, “now that you and I are official, that I can take you out on a real first date.”

 

“I know we weren’t technically together, but I’m pretty sure we’ve been on a bunch of dates.”

 

“But they weren’t _official_ dates. Which means less charm and less romance. But hey, if you don’t want to go you can just say so…”

 

“No! I want to go! But haven’t we, like, already done everything?” Ali asks.

 

“Oh, I can think of a few things we haven’t done.” Ashlyn replies suggestively.

 

“Hmm, I’m pretty sure there’s a three-date rule on what you’re thinking of.” Ali plays back.

 

“Don’t you think we’re already past that? What, with the supply closet and the I-love-yous.”

 

“You’re the one who says the dates don’t count if they weren’t official.”

 

“And you’re the one who can’t keep her hands to herself, so we’ll just see how this plays out.” Ashlyn says with a wink.


	18. To Tacos and Beer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! I promise you we're getting there...

“Honey! I’m home!” Ashlyn calls as she opens Alex’s front door.

 

“In the kitchen, sweetie!” Alex calls back.

 

Ashlyn makes her way to the kitchen to find Alex pulling plates and glasses from a cupboard.

 

“I’m just getting things ready for when Serv gets back with the tacos.” Alex informs.

 

“Tacos!?” Ashlyn says, the joy of a child plastered on her face.

 

“Yes,” Alex laughs at her friend, “from your favorite place too.”

 

Ashlyn wraps Alex in a hug and lifts her off the ground. “Nothing makes me quite as happy as tacos.” Ashlyn says placing her back on the ground.

 

“Except for Ali Krieger.” Alex smirks.

 

“You got me there.” Ashlyn nods.

 

“Speaking of Ali Krieger…”

 

“Oh man, did she already call you?” Ashlyn sounds a little disappointed.

 

“No,” Alex says suspiciously, “was she supposed too?”

 

“Well,” Ashlyn starts, turning to the fridge and opening the door. “I invited her to my Grandma’s birthday party and—“

 

“You brought her home to meet Grandma Harris?!” Alex is shocked, but thrilled.

 

“I did. And Chris and my parents, and everyone really. But that’s not the exciting part.” Ashlyn holds out a beer to Alex.

 

“What’s more exciting than meeting that family?!”

 

“I told her I’m in love with her.” Ashlyn can’t wipe the stupid grin off her face when she says it.

 

“WHAT?!” Alex screams, nearly choking on the sip of beer she had just taken. “I mean _duh_ you two are in love with each other but I was expecting _‘hey, Ali, do you want to go out with me sometime?’_ first.”

 

“I got there eventually. But also, I said _I_ told her I love her, I didn’t mention what _she_ said. How do you know she didn’t laugh in my face or something?”

 

“First of all, the stupid look on your face. Second, you do know I’m friends with Ali, right? We talk about things. And finally, you two are always sneaking off to make out in my office or almost-screw in the supply closet.”

 

“She told you about that?!” Ashlyn gasps, incredulous.

 

“I told you,” Alex takes a drink of her beer, “we talk.” She finishes with a shrug.

 

Ashlyn just stands in the kitchen, leaning against the counter, shaking her head in shock.

 

“Okay, so you confessed your love and then what happened?” Alex asks.

 

“I’m glad it was so apparent to you that we’re in love with each other, but you could have clued me in a little.”

 

“What do you mean?” Alex is a little confused.

 

“I mean that I knew I really cared about her and wanted more with her but I guess my heart and my brain took a minute to catch up to each other. It sort of hit me like a ton of bricks. We were cleaning up after Gram’s party and there was this great song playing and Ali had this perfect smile on her face and I was staring at her and thinking _‘I would literally do anything for this girl.’_ And then it was like this wave crashed over me and I realized I don’t just like her, I’m _in love_ with her. Not falling, but fully there. Like, _bought-a-house-and-moved-in_ there.”

 

“Aw, that’s sweet, Ash. So what does this mean? Did you guys talk about it.?”

 

“Yeah, on the drive back yesterday. She wanted to ‘define the relationship’ so I told her I’d really like to be her girlfriend and she said that she’d like that too, and then I asked her out.”

 

“You guys are something else, but it works.” Alex smiles. “So when is the big date? Where are you taking her?”

 

“Tomorrow night. And I’m not telling you because I now know that you two ‘talk,’ so I can’t trust you not to tell her!”

 

“That’s unfair, Ash! I obviously didn’t tell you about the stuff she said!” Alex pouts.

 

“I’m not taking any chances” Ashlyn says shaking her head.

 

Just then, Servando opens the door from the garage and walks into the kitchen with the take out.

 

“Darling.” He nods at Ash.

 

“Sweetheart.” She nods back.

 

“I hope you two are hungry because I may have over-ordered.” He says setting the bags on the counter and opening them.

 

“I’m going to eat as much as a can now because as soon as Christmas is over I’m getting serious about my diet, and stepping up the workouts. Tryouts are in just over two months, baby!”

 

“Same.” Alex agrees. “But tonight is for tacos and beer.” She holds her bottle up to toast.

 

“To tacos and beer!” Ash and Servando call out, Ashlyn clinking her bottle to Alex’s.

 

The three sit at the kitchen table, plates and take-out containers empty. Ashlyn pats her stomach in satisfaction.

 

“You want another beer, Ash?” Servando asks, heading to the fridge.

 

Ash glances at her watch. “Yeah, I’ve got time for one more.”

 

He hands her the beer. “You’ve got other plans tonight?” he asks in mock-offense.

 

“She’s gotta go see her _girlfriend_ after work.” Alex teases.

 

“You and Ali finally made it official? Good for you.” Servando pats Ashlyn on the shoulder.

 

“Thanks, man.” Ashlyn really loves the way it sounds when someone calls Ali her girlfriend.

 

“So are you going to bring Ali home for Christmas, too?” Alex asks as she begins clearing plates.

 

“We might be doing things in an unconventional order but I don’t think we’re quite there yet. It’s not that she wouldn’t be welcome, my mom would love it actually, but I think we should give it a couple of months before we start coordinating our holidays.”

 

“Are you staying with you mom for Christmas then?” Servando asks, loading dishes into the dishwasher.

 

“Yeah, I’ll spend the 23rd and 24th with her before heading to my Grandma’s for the 25th and 26th. I think two nights with her will be enough.”

 

“How are things with the two of you? Will you be okay staying two nights?” Alex asks, rejoining Ashlyn at the table.

 

“Things are pretty good right now. You know I love the woman, but she can be a lot to handle sometimes. I think two days is kind of the max at this point.”

 

“Is it just her nature that gets to be too much, or is there still tension?”

 

“A little of both. She didn’t learn the right way to cope with things when she was young, which is why she started drinking. She’s learned a lot since she got sober but she still gets easily overwhelmed and worked up easily. She can be really irrational and needy. She’s trying her hardest, I know that, but she really looks to others to try and fix things for her. I try and be patient but there is still some tension there. Sometimes I feel like I shouldn’t be obligated to fix things when she could never do the same for me. And sometimes I can tell she’s still really hurt by the fact that I didn’t talk to her for so long.”

 

“It’s been three years since you cut her out though. Doesn’t she want to just move on?”

 

“She does want to, but I think its guilt. She knows she let me down. She’s not mad at me for doing it, she understands that I couldn’t support her until she got her act together. But it still hurt her that her daughter could do that and that’s what she can’t quite let go of.”

 

“That’s tough, Ash. It wasn’t easy for you to walk away like that. And I’m sure her feeling hurt doesn’t make you feel great either.”

 

“It makes me feel like shit, actually. I don’t want to hurt her, I never wanted to. I just couldn’t deal with it _and_ look out for myself too. I don’t know if I would have made it through college if we kept going on the way that we were. I did the same thing with my dad, but he’s a lot less emotional. If he’s still upset by it, he doesn’t let on.”

 

“Your relationship with your dad is a lot different than the one with your mom,” Alex adds.

 

“Yeah, my mom always had these expectations I couldn’t meet. She loved me no matter what, I never doubted that. And supported and encouraged me in whatever I wanted to do or try. But I know she wanted this sweet, little girl and I could never be that for her. I was messy and rough around the edges. Strong-willed. She tried her best to be accepting, but some things were harder for her to understand than others. Even if she never said it, I felt like I was letting her down. That made things complicated for us, but I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. She’s worked so hard and I’m so, _so_ proud of her. And she’s really coming around on things too. Like I was sure she was going to burst into tears when she saw I cut all my hair off but she didn’t. She even said she _liked_ it. So we’re getting there. If we keep things low key we usually do alright.”

 

“It makes sense that you have to sort of build up trust again with her and work towards a new kind of relationship. It’s only been three years, it might feel like a long time but it’s a journey.” Servando says. “It’s clear you love your mom a lot so don’t feel bad that you’re still working on things.”

 

“You guys are really the best,” Ashlyn grins at her friends. “I’m so glad I married you.”

 

The next day, Ali is getting ready for her date with Ashlyn. Ashlyn had refused to tell her what they would be doing, but told her she should dress casually, and bring layers. Ali couldn’t decide between three outfits so she’d snapped a picture of each look and sent them to Kyle and Kelley.

 

**Kyle:** Look 2, but with the shoes from look one.

 

**Kelley:** You look great in all 3, but if I have to choose I like 2. But bring the scarf from 3 for an extra layer.

 

Satisfied with the responses, Ali pulls on her black jeans and a white pocket tee. She also wear an oversized gray cardigan, with the sleeves rolled a few times and then pushed up to her elbows. When it gets colder she can roll down the sleeves, and add the black scarf like Kelley suggested. She also took Kyle’s suggestion and wore her black Vans sneakers instead of the black boots she had paired the look with originally. Ashlyn had said to keep it casual, and the boots sometimes hurt her feet after a while. She wears her long, dark hair down and straight, but puts a hair tie around her wrist, just in case.

 

Ali has just finished touching up her make-up when there comes a knock at the door. She’s a little irritated that someone decided to drop by now, when she’s expecting Ashlyn to show up at any minute. She pulls the door open and is surprised to find Ashlyn standing there. She’s also wearing black jeans, along with a plain black t-shirt, and a light wash denim jacket and black boots. Her hair is swept back in its signature coif.

 

“You knocked?” Ali is surprised. Ali always leaves the door unlocked for her.

 

“You look ravishing this afternoon, Miss Krieger.”

 

Ali rolls her eyes at Ashlyn’s shenanigans. “Come in, you dork. I’m almost ready.”

 

“Thank you.” Ashlyn nods, following Ali into the apartment and closing the door behind her. She pulls a bouquet of bright pink flowers, wrapped in brown paper and tied with twine from behind her back and holds them out to Ali. “For you.”

 

“Oh wow! These are really beautiful!” Ali smiles at her sincerely, taking them and carrying them to the kitchen.

 

“Almost as beautiful as you.” Ashlyn cheeses.

 

“You’re really laying it on thick with this whole ‘first date’ thing, aren’t you?” Ali asks while she fills a vase for her flowers.

 

“I promised you more charm and romance. The Official Ashlyn Harris Date Experience.”

 

“While I’m appreciating the charm and romance so far, I have a hard time believing you _really_ bring girls flowers on dates. I’m pretty sure they only do that on TV.”

 

“You’re right. I don’t bring girls flowers. Only you.”

 

“Well don’t I feel special.” Ali gives a nose-crinkling smile.

 

“You should because you are.” Ashlyn says genuinely, matching Ali’s smile with a dimpled grin of her own.

 

“So what are we up to this afternoon?” Ali asks grabbing her phone, wallet, keys, and her favorite lips gloss and shoving them into the large pockets of her sweater, then throws her scarf over her arm.

 

“You’ll find out soon enough.” Ashlyn smirks as she holds the door open for Ali.


	19. Color Me Impressed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's time for that date...
> 
> Let me know what you think!

Ashlyn holds open any and all doors, and offers a hand as Ali climbs into her Jeep. She finds and takes advantage of every opportunity to compliment Ali that she can. As Ashlyn drives them to a neighboring town, they laugh and talk, Ashlyn occasionally asking cheesy getting-to-know you questions she already knows the answers too.

 

As they reach the quaint little downtown, Ali can see that most of the streets are closed to traffic. Lights are strung up on all the buildings and stretching across the street from building to building. The trees are also covered in Christmas lights, and there is a huge Christmas tree in what appears to be the town square. It’s late afternoon in December so the days are shorter and the lights are just beginning to glow. Ashlyn parks, hops out of the jeep, and comes to open Ali’s door for her, offering a hand as gets out.

 

They head into the crowd, wandering through downtown. Ali reaches for Ashlyn’s hand which she happily takes. When they reach the square, Ali can see that it is filled with all kinds of vendors and food carts. Ali’s eyes light up as she takes it all in.

 

“I know how much you love Christmas, so I thought you might enjoy this Holiday market.” Ashlyn sounds just a little nervous.

 

“This is amazing, Ash! Look at all this cute stuff!” Ali is looking in every direction, trying to decide where to start. Eventually she settles on a little booth selling handmade soaps and lotions, dragging Ashlyn behind her as she excitedly skips toward the booth.

 

They wander through the square looking at everything from jewelry to paintings and holiday decorations to gifts. They make their way from booth to booth, admiring everything, trying samples, and picking up a few gifts for family and friends here and there too.

 

“How about we take these back to car,” Ashlyn holds their bags up, “and then we can go check out the skating rink.”

 

“There’s a skating rink here?!” Ali is thrilled by the idea. They start walking back to Ashlyn’s car.

 

“Yep.” Ashlyn smiles, pleased that Ali like the suggestion. “They set it up on the other side of the big tree, but it’s down lower so you can’t really see it from here.”

 

“How did you know about this? It’s pretty obvious you’ve been here before and didn’t just look up _‘Christmas-themed dates to get the girl’_ online.”

 

“I might have,” Ashlyn grins at Ali. “But you’re right. I’ve been here before. I used to come and skate here with friends during winter break when I was in high school. I haven’t been back in years, but it’s even cooler now than it was.”

 

“I really love it! This was such a perfect idea.” Ali says with admiration.

 

After Ashlyn and Ali put their things away and rent skates, they step out on the ice. Ali hasn’t been in a few years, but she’s not new to the activity so she steps onto the rink with ease, holding Ashlyn’s hand as they make an initial lap. On the second lap, Ashlyn picks up a little speed and starts weaving in and out of the people around them and skating small circles around Ali.

 

“Oh so you brought me here just to show off?” Ali teases.

 

“Not show off, _impress_.” Ashlyn grins at her. She’s slowed down but now she’s skating backwards so she can look Ali in the eye while they talk.

 

“Well color me impressed, then. Skating backwards? Were you Tara Lipinski in your youth?”

 

“Wait until you see my triple salchow-triple loop.”

 

“I wouldn’t put it past you.” Ali replies seriously, taking Ashlyn’s hand again.

 

The two continue to skate around a while, enjoying the sights and sounds of everyone and everything around them. Ali admiring the giant tree and all the lights that are fully on display now that it’s dark. Ali stops a moment, leaning against the wall of the rink, watching Ashlyn continue to skate around trying to impress her and nearly falling. Twice.

 

A little girl, about seven-years-old but tiny, comes wobbling along. She’s got blonde hair pulled into pigtails and she’s wearing a red tulle skirt and white tights with a red fleece pullover. As the little girl skates along, she doesn’t stray far from the wall, needing it for balance more often than not. As she reaches Ali, Ali goes to move so the little girl can continue to use the wall, but before she can push off, the tiny girl grabs her arm.

 

“I need a break.” The little girl says a bit dramatically.

 

Ali smiles down at her. “I needed one too.”

 

“I’m not so good at this skating thing. My mom said I gotta slide like in my socks on the kitchen floor but it’s trickier than it looks!”

 

“It just takes some practice. I think you’re doing great so far!” Ali encourages.

 

Ashlyn skates up to the pair, ‘Who’s your friend, Al?”

 

“Al?!” The little girl looks at Ali like she’s got two heads. “You’re name is Al?! That’s _weird_. That’s my grandpa’s name!”

 

Ali and Ashlyn both laugh at the disgruntled look on the little girl’s face.

 

“It’s just a nickname. My name is Ali, she just calls me Al for short sometimes.” She points a thumb at Ash.

 

“Ooooh!” The little girl says looking relieved. “That makes more sense. Like when my mom calls me Abs instead of Abigail. It’s just for short.”

 

“Exactly.” Ali affirms.

 

Just then a woman comes walking over from a bench nearby and stands by the little girl on the other side of the rink.

 

“I’m sorry,” The woman says, “Abigail is a friendly little thing, I hope she’s not bugging you!” She turns to the little girl. “Abs, you have to let these nice ladies enjoy their skate, okay? I thought you were with Josie and her mom?”

 

“I was but Josie was crying a lot and her mom said they had to go.”

 

“Geez, I wish should would have told me.” The woman says mostly to herself, sounding irritated. “I’m sorry, sweetie, but we should probably head home too.”

 

“One more lap! Pleeeease?” Abigail pleads.

 

“Okay, Abs. _One_.” Her mother agrees.

 

“Will you skate with me?” Abigail asks, taking hold of Ali’s hand.

 

“If it’s okay with your mom?” Ali looks to the woman who smiles and nods her approval.

 

She stands back to watch as Ashlyn and Ali each take one of her daughter’s hands and slowly make their way around the rink one last time. As they come full circle the little girl looks with hopeful eyes at her mother for permission to go around one more time. The woman’s phone rings just as they approach so she holds up one finger and mouths “last time” as she takes the call.

 

“Okay.” Abigail says stopping and throwing both her arms over the wall. “I need another break.”

 

Ashlyn and Ali stand on either side of the little girl, glancing back to see her mom still on the phone a little ways behind them. Suddenly, two teenagers come flying at them, full speed. The teens are laughing as one falls and promptly drags the other down with them. But they’re both still coming full speed ahead, and the teenage boy slides on his side with his legs up and slams a skate right into the back of Abigail’s little leg. The teenage girl following quickly after, sending a toe pick into Abigail’s calf. The two teens scramble up, still in a fit of laughter and skate off like nothing has happened, while Abigail lets out a loud wail. Her mother, hearing the unmistakable cry of pain from her child, hangs up her phone and comes running around to where her daughter stands in tears. The dark purple of the bruise forming shows through her tights.

 

“Mommy!!!” The little girl sobs, reaching her arms out to her.

 

The woman thinks about climbing the wall for a moment but knows she wouldn’t have traction on the ice in her shoes. She could pull her over but rink employees wouldn’t like that.

 

“Honey, I can’t get on the ice! I’m sorry!”

 

Ashlyn scoops the girl up in her arms and quickly skates across the rink to the exit, while her mother runs to meet them on the other side. Just as Ali is about to exit the rink, she sees the two teens who ran into the little girl coming around. She skates out in front of them to cut them off, causing them to halt suddenly, the girl crashing into the boy, sending them both tumbling to the ground.

 

“Hey!” The girl calls out indignantly

 

“Oops.” Ali says with a little shrug. “Guess I didn’t see you there.”

 

She waves over a rink employee. “There are the two who ran into that sweet little girl, looks like they’re having a little trouble staying on their feet.” With that Ali exits the rink, leaving the employee to reprimand the teens for reckless skating and kick them out.

 

When she finds Ashlyn, Abigail, and Abigail’s mother, the girl has stopped crying, and Ashlyn is helping to wrap a bag of ice around her little leg. Ali stands back a moment and watches Ashlyn speak comfortingly to the little girl, making her laugh as she cracks jokes with her. Ashlyn wipes the three small puncture marks on the girl’s calf with an alcohol wipe and puts a large band-aid over it, giving her a high five when she’s done treating her injuries. An employee comes over and speaks with both Ashlyn and Abigail’s mother. She watches as they clearly recount what had just happened. The employee walks off and Ashlyn and the girl’s mother speak a moment, Ashlyn at one point gesturing to a coffee cart nearby. The mother smiles and nods, then reaches into her purse and grabs her wallet out, but Ashlyn shakes her head no and insists she put it away. She sees the woman thank her before taking off in the direction the employee went. Ali finally makes her way over to Ashlyn and Abigail.

 

“How are you feeling, Abs?” Ali asks, sitting next to her on the bench.

 

“A little better now, Al.” She grins up at Ali.

 

“Abigail’s mom went to go fill out an incident report so I told her we could hang out with her a minute.” Ashlyn says, “I thought I’d go grab a treat. Maybe some hot chocolate? What do you think, Abigail?”

 

“Chocolate milk, please!” The little girl squeals excitedly. “It’s better with whipped cream and sprinkles.” She adds rather seriously.

 

“I’ll see what I can do.” Ashlyn says, matching the girls tone.

 

When Ashlyn returns she’s got a commemorative holiday cup filled with chocolate milk, topped with whipped cream and red and green sprinkles and a hot chocolate in a regular to-go cup. She sees Abigail’s face light up at the drink, but fakes handing it to Ali, before crossing her arms quickly and offering each beverage to the right person.

 

“Chocolate milk—with whipped cream and sprinkles—for you, and a hot chocolate for your pal, Al.” Ashlyn grins at both of them.

 

“Thank you.” Ali and Abigail reply in unison, both girls wearing a look of admiration for the woman in front of them.

 

When Ashlyn sits down next to Abigail, the little girl links her tiny arm through Ashlyn’s much larger, tattooed one, and leans her head against it as she quietly sits and sips her chocolate milk. The three sits together a few minutes, Ashlyn and Ali sharing their drink, while Abigail rests contentedly on Ashlyn.

 

“Thank you for keeping her company.” Abigail’s mother says as she returns. “I’m sure this isn’t how you two planned to spend your evening.”

 

“We didn’t mind at all” Ashlyn says.

 

“Really.” Ali adds.

 

“Abs, can you say thank you and goodbye to Ali and Ashlyn? It’s time for us to head out, kiddo.”

 

The little girl frowns and wraps her arms tightly around Ashlyn. “Thank you. I had a lot of fun skating with you.”

 

“I had fun too, I’m sorry you got hurt though.” Ashlyn says giving the little girl a squeeze.

 

“Me too except kinda not because I got chocolate milk which is only for special occasions.”

The little girl then turns and wraps her arms around Ali. “Thank you, Al. I’m real glad you’re my friend now.” Abigail says.

 

“I’m so glad too, Abs.” Ali hugs the little girl before turning to her mother. “I’m not sure if this is something she’d be interested in, but I’m a coach for a youth soccer club and we’re holding some camps this spring and I’d love to sponsor Abigail if she wanted to go to one.” Ali pulls her wallet from her pocket and retrieves a business card. “Here’s my info, you can shoot me an email if you’re interested.” Ali says handing the woman the card.

 

“Thank you so much! I bet she’d love that. And thank you both again for all that you did. We both really appreciate it.”

 

Ali and Ashlyn shake hands with Abigail’s mom before she picks up the little girl and carries her off.

 

“Do you want to go out and skate a little more, or are you ready to move on to the next activity?” Ashlyn asks Ali.

 

“I think I’m ready to move on. Any chance you’ll clue me in on what’s next?”

 

“Nope. Not at all.” Ashlyn smirks as the pair start walking back to Ashlyn’s jeep.

 

A little while later, Ashlyn pulls up to a curb in the ritzy neighborhood about 15 minutes away from Ali’s apartment. Ali is confused as to why they’ve parked in a random neighborhood, but even more confused as to why there seems to be so many people flocking to this particular area.

 

“What are we doing here?” Ali asks curiously.

 

“You’ll put it together soon.” Ashlyn replies.

 

The pair walk hand-in-hand for about two blocks before rounding a corner and seeing a whole street lit up with Christmas lights. Couples and families are slowly walking along, taking in the elaborate light displays each house has put up.

 

“Wow! This is amazing!” Ali’s eyes are wide. “Look! That house is Grinch themed!” Ali points to a house with a large wooden cutout of the Grinch standing in the front yard. The lights are strung so it appears he’s taking them down.

 

“It’s pretty cool, isn’t it?” Ashlyn asks, watching Ali’s joyful expression as she looks around. “I guess this neighborhood has been doing this for years and it’s become a local tradition.”

 

“I can’t believe I’ve never heard about this before.”

 

“I hadn’t either. A customer at the bar actually told me about it. I thought it would be fun to check it out.”

 

 

“Decorations _are_ my favorite part.” Ali says linking her arm through Ashlyn’s as they walk.

 

“Do you think if you buy a house on this street you have to sign a contract or something saying you agree to participate?” Ashlyn wonders.

 

“That’s a good question. If you moved would you leave the lights for the next owner? I mean all the houses seem to have specific themes.” Ali adds.

 

“I’m not sure. Maybe we’ll have to move here someday and find out.”

 

“Maybe we will.”

 

They enjoy their walk down the street before Ashlyn takes them to a local wood-fired pizza place for a late dinner. They share a couple of pizzas and a bottle of red wine, and become so wrapped up in conversation and each other that they don’t even notice when they’re the last people in the restaurant. Ali can’t get over how sweet Ashlyn was to think of something so perfect for their first date. Ashlyn can’t get over how time seems to both stand still and fly by whenever she’s with Ali. They both can’t get over how much they want to do this again and again.

 

At the end of the night, Ashlyn drives Ali home and walks her to her door.

 

“Do you want to come in and hang out a while?” Ali asks, “We can watch _House of Cards_.”

 

“Sorry, Krieger. This is where I leave you. It’s only the first date, remember?”

 

“Can we call Netflix and chill date number two?” Ali says a bit suggestively.

 

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

 

“That’s why I suggested it.” Ali takes a step closer to Ashlyn, so their faces are only a few inches apart.

 

“I had a really wonderful time with you tonight, Ali. I hope we can do it again sometime.” Ashlyn practically whispers.

 

“Me too. Thank you for everything.” Ali whispers back.

 

Ashlyn slides a hand around Ali’s waist, laying her hand on her lower back and pulling her in closer for a slow, deep kiss. It’s both sweet and passionate at the same time. Before Ali can try and take it any farther, Ashlyn pulls away.

 

“Goodnight, Ali.” Ashlyn places a gentle kiss to Ali’s cheek and turns to leave.

 

“You’re not gonna wait three days to call me are you?” Ali calls after her.

 

“I guess you’ll have to wait and see.” Ashlyn turns around and walks backwards so Ali can see the wink she shoots her before she disappears into the stairwell.

 

An hour later, Ali crawls into bed and grabs her phone.

 

 **Ali:** I had a great time tonight. Maybe we can do it again tomorrow. Coffee after training?

 **Ashlyn:** A text the same night? Aren’t you afraid of looking too eager? Balcony coffee doesn’t count as a second date, by the way.

 **Ali:** I think I look just eager enough. What about coffee out?

 **Ashlyn:** Will there pastries?

 **Ali:** Pastries. Breakfast sandwiches. Whatever you want.

 **Ashlyn:** Alright. It’s a date.

 

The next morning Ashlyn picks Ali up at her apartment to meet Alex at the soccer fields to train. They manage to make it through their whole session before the rain hits, but Ali and Ashlyn are thoroughly soaked trying to get from Ashlyn’s jeep, back to Ali’s apartment.

 

“Do you have a change of clothes?” Ali asks as she starts to peel off layers.

 

“Yeah, in my bag.” Ashlyn says heading to the bathroom.

 

Ashlyn changes quickly but Ali takes longer trying to decide what she wants to wear and putting her hair up. Ashlyn waits in the kitchen leaning forward against the breakfast bar.

 

“If I take back the official date status of this date will it make you hurry up?” Ashlyn calls to Ali.

 

“Nope!” Ali calls back. “And you can’t take it back, it’s my date. Only I can take it back!”

 

Ashlyn rolls her eyes and picks up a pen on the counter and fiddles with it. She glances at the papers she taken the pen from and is confused to see a document in what appears to be German. She can’t read what any of it says, but she can tell it’s some kind of contract. Next to it is a document from Ali’s landlord entitled “Terms of Subletting.” Ali comes walking out of her room, pulling on a denim jacket.

 

“Okay, I’m ready to go.” Ali smiles at Ashlyn.

 

“What is this stuff?” Ashlyn asks gesturing to the paperwork on the counter. “I wasn’t trying to snoop or anything, it was just kind of…here.”

 

“Oh. Um.” Ali doesn’t really know what to say. She wasn’t expecting to have this conversation yet. The longer Ali is silent the more nervous Ashlyn becomes.

 

“Al?” She tries again.

 

Ali hopes playing it off casually might make it seem less daunting to Ashlyn.

 

“That’s actually an offer from my old club in Germany.”

 

“What?” Ashlyn hasn’t worked out what it means yet.

 

“You know how I’ve been talking to my friend from Germany? Well she actually just took a position on the coaching staff and when I told her that I was working towards playing professionally again, she talked to the club. They’re interested in having me back.”

 

“What about tryouts?”

 

“I told them that the league team is my goal so I wouldn’t accept anything until after tryouts.”

 

“And the subletting?” Ashlyn is growing tense as she realizes what the offer could mean.

 

“Well I’d leave before me lease is up so—“

 

“So you had an offer and enough time to research your living situation, but somehow none of this ever came up in conversation? How long have you been considering this?” Ashlyn is trying to keep her voice level and calm but her hands are shaking.

 

“About a month, maybe a little more.” Ali says quietly, avoiding Ashlyn’s stare.

 

“You’ve known for a month?! When were you planning to tell me? On your way to the fucking airport?!” Ashlyn bites out.

 

“No! I just wanted to sure about—“

 

“Right. Just wanted to be sure I was _really_ invested before you took a fucking hammer to my heart. Great. Well the only thing I’m sure of right now is that I don’t want to be here.”

 

Ashlyn can see the look of shock and hurt register on Ali’s face and for a second she wants to take it all back and reach out for Ali. But she doesn’t. Instead, she turns, grabs her bag, and slams the door behind her on her way out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How about that date? Who's side are you on?! 
> 
> I waited to post this chapter until I had the next one finished so I promise not to torture you too long...


	20. I Would

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's a story without a lil drama, right?
> 
> As always, let me know what you think!

Ali is in shock. Things had changed in a matter of seconds and her brain hasn’t quite caught up with her heart. She stands in the kitchen staring blankly at the front door as she processes. _Okay_ , she thinks, _she’s hotheaded, she just needs a little time._ _Just give her a minute_. Ali decides to make herself some coffee and eggs. She goes through the motions of making her breakfast, but the longer she thinks about what’s happened, the more conflicted she becomes. On the one hand, she’s angry with Ashlyn for storming out and not giving her a chance to fully explain. On the other hand, she’s angry with herself for not talking about this with Ashlyn. Despite only knowing each other a short time, they tell each other everything, and Ashlyn was recently hurt by someone who couldn’t be honest. She’s also terrified of losing Ashlyn. Ali sends a couple of texts but she doesn’t answer. Two phone calls go unanswered. Hurt, anger, and guilt swirl inside Ali until she can’t sit still. She grabs her keys and flies out the door.

 

When she reaches Ashlyn’s, she doesn’t see her jeep, but has to try anyway. She stands on her doorstep and knocks.

 

Nothing.

 

She knocks again, harder.

 

Still nothing.

 

Ali doesn’t know for certain where Ashlyn is but she has an idea. Her heart breaks a little thinking that she’s driven her away to Grandma Harris. Her grandmother is her protector and Ali can’t stand the thought that Ashlyn needs protecting from _her_.

 

Ali turns, her back pressed to Ashlyn’s front door and sinks down. She sits there on the doorstep as the rain begins to fall, trying to keep her sobs silent, lost as to what to try next. She’s not sure how long she’s been sitting there when she hears a muffled noise and realizes her phone is ringing. She scrambles to pull it out of her pocket, desperate not to miss the call.

 

“Hello!” She hurries out.

 

“Hey, Kriegs.” Kelley greets. “I’m working on the Victorious Secret paperwork for next season. Nikki says she’d be stoked to move to another position since she was really only playing keeper out of necessity. I think with Ash we’ll be able to move up a bracket! Anyway, can I ask you for some of her info?”

 

Ali lets out a choked sob.

 

“Ali?”

 

Ali starts crying harder.

 

“Whoa. Hey.” Kelley says soothingly. “What’s going on, buddy?”

 

“I fucked up, Kell.” Ali gets out as she tries to calm herself.

 

“Where are you? Are you at home?”

 

“I’m at Ashlyn’s.”

 

“Is she with you?”

“No. I don’t know…” But Ali can’t finish the sentence.

 

“Do you want me to come pick you up?” Kelley offers. She’s worried. Ali doesn’t usually let her walls down like this.

 

“No, it’s okay. I’m okay.” Ali says half-heartedly.

 

“Okay, when will you be home? I’m coming over.”

 

“Fifteen minutes.”

 

“I’ll see you soon, okay? Call me if you need me to come get you.”

 

“I will.”

 

Ali hangs up the phone, takes a deep breath and wipes away her tears with the sleeve of her pullover. She finally stands and slowly makes her way back to her car.

 

When Ali gets home, she doesn’t change even though her clothes and hair are damp from the rain. The sky is a deep, angry gray so her living room that is usually filled with natural light, is dark and shadowy. She doesn’t bother turning on the lights before throwing herself on the couch, curling into a ball at one end.

 

Kelley knocks lightly as she opens the front door to find Ali sitting alone in the dark.

 

“I don’t think so, buddy.” Kelley says flipping the lights on. “We’re not doing this.”

 

Ali whines in response.

 

“I brought pizza so you can soak up all the sadness with carbs and cheese.”

 

Ali sits up, a little more alert. “What does it do for guilt and self-loathing?”

 

Kelley comes to sit next to Ali, setting a pizza box and a couple of plates on the coffee table.

 

“I’m pretty sure pizza can fix most of life’s problems. You want to tell me what’s going on?”

 

“Mostly I just want to cry.” Ali’s eyes fill with tears again.

 

“Aw, Kriegs” Kelley says wiping away a tear that has escaped. “You can cry too. I’m worried about you. I want to be here for you, okay?”

 

Ali nods and takes a deep breath before filling Kelley in on everything that had happened from the I-love-yous, to the perfect first date, to the cliff they seemed to have jumped off that morning.

 

Meanwhile, Ashlyn sits at the table in her grandmother’s kitchen, her arms crossed on the table with her head down. Grandma Harris had been out when Ashlyn had arrived so she let herself in and sat herself at the table to wait. She spent 20 minutes sitting in silence, replaying the events of the morning in her head. Most of her was livid that Ali would keep something as big as an international move from her, the rest of her was crushed by the thought of losing Ali. It had been less than three months, but she already had a hard time envisioning a life without Ali in it.

 

Grandma Harris comes in the backdoor with bags of groceries in her arms. Ashlyn gets up quickly to help her.

 

“What are you doing here, Sweet Pea?” Grandma asks, surprised to see Ashlyn in her kitchen.

 

“I just needed to be here. I need to think through some things. Are there more in the car?”

 

Grandma nods and Ashlyn heads out to get the rest of the groceries as the older woman starts putting her purchases away. Ashlyn returns with the rest of the bags and the two spend the next 10 minutes putting things away, without speaking. Ashlyn sits down at the table once again, closing her eyes to fight back tears.

 

“Are you going to fill me in on what’s going on here, or shall I leave you to your suffering?” Grandma asks sitting next to her granddaughter.

 

Ashlyn sighs heavily before detailing the last 24 hours to her grandmother. By the time she’s gotten to that morning, she’s worked up, pacing the kitchen floor and gesturing wildly. Grandma Harris simply lets her rant.

 

“I just can’t believe she would keep something like that from me!!” Ashlyn nearly shouts. “I can’t believe she’d agree to go out with me and tell me she’s in love with me _knowing_ that in a few months she could be moving like 5000 miles away!! She tried to tell me she needed to be _sure_ before talking to me, like that made it any better!” Ashlyn finally flops back down in kitchen chair.

 

“Are you done?” Grandma asks calmly.

 

Ashlyn nods.

 

“Ashlyn Harris, if you’re not careful you’re going to ruin something truly special. That girl has no obligation to consider someone she’s only known a few months in a decision that big. But I can guarantee you she has, because she’s made it perfectly clear to you that she cares about you. You know Ali, you spent months trying to make her feel comfortable because _you know_ that she’s built her life around certainty. You should know better than anyone that she wasn’t keeping it from you to try and hurt you.”

 

“But we tell each other everything. At least I thought we did. I guess it just sucks that after trying so hard to show her she can trust me, she still didn’t feel like she could.”

 

“Sweetheart, just because she wanted figure things out before she talked to you about it doesn’t mean she doesn’t trust you. She has every right to figure out what she wants separately from you before discussing it with you. This is her life and her career and she’s spent years working hard to get where she is. That’s a big risk to let someone she’s just getting to know influence that.”

 

Ashlyn can’t deny that her grandmother is right. They had only been on one date, and at the time that Ali got the offer, they hadn’t even admitted their true feelings yet. It stung that Ali didn’t want to discuss something so important with her, but she could also see how doing so might have clouded Ali’s judgement.

 

“You’re right.” Ashlyn sighs. “I’m just so damn scared of losing her.”

 

“And fear—“ Grandma starts.

 

“—Destroys.” Ashlyn finishes. “Fear ruins beautiful things. But I’m still terrified.”

 

“And I think you’re jumping the gun a little bit. I don’t recall you telling me that Ali explicitly told you she was absolutely going to go to Germany.”

 

“Well, she didn’t say it explicitly, but why would she want to sit on a bench, or stay here working as a waitress, when she could be paid well to actually play the sport she loves over there.”

 

“That’s a great question. Maybe you could try asking her.”

 

Ashlyn is embarrassed as the weight of Grandma’s words sink in. She hadn’t stuck around long enough to hear Ali out.

 

“I’m such a jerk. I didn’t give her a chance to explain, and when she tried, I cut her off.”

 

“Jerk sounds about right.” Grandma agrees. “You’ve talked an awful lot about wanting to support and encourage her. To see her follow her dreams again. You don’t get to be supportive when it benefits you, and stop when it doesn’t. You either want what’s best for her all the time, or you don’t want it at all. I suggest you figure out where you stand.”

 

“I don’t need to figure it out. I do want what’s best for her. I want her to follow her dreams. Which means telling her to go to Germany even if it means we’re over.”

 

Now _that_ sounds like the Ashlyn I know.”

 

“I really screwed this up, didn’t I?” Ashlyn asks.

 

“Feed the love and the understanding, and fear doesn’t stand a chance.”

Ashlyn stands and wraps the older woman in a hug, staying there a long moment.

 

“I love you, Gram. I’d be lost without you.”

 

“Oh, you’d find your way somehow. I love you too, honey.” Grandma says patting Ashlyn’s arms as she pulls away. “Now get out of my house and go clean up this mess you made.”

 

Back in Ali’s apartment, Kelley is taking in everything Ali has told her.

 

“You didn’t mention it all? You didn’t drop hints or anything?”

 

“No. I just wanted to make sure that I knew all the details before I came to her with it. I guess I thought if I had it all figured out beforehand, I’d be less likely to look at her and just throw the offer out the window immediately. I felt like I needed to convince myself first. I didn’t want to hurt her and I had it in my head that if I knew what I wanted and could present her with all this information in a neat little package, it would be easier for her.”

 

“You think she’d tell you not to go?”

 

“The opposite actually. I think if she really heard me out, she’d tell me to go.”

 

“So what’s the problem then?”

 

“The problem, other than the fact that I kept this huge thing from her and she’ll probably never be able to trust me again, is that I can’t seem to convince myself that I want this more than I want her.”

 

“So reject the offer.”

 

“I don’t want to resent her if I don’t make the team here and then don’t go and never play professionally again.”

 

“This is going to sound a little crazy, but have you considered asking her to go with you? If you don’t make it?”

 

“That is crazy, but I have thought about it. It only makes sense if we both don’t make the team here. If she does and I don’t…I don’t know.”

 

“You really think you’ll resent her?”

 

“The more I think about it, no. I don’t think I will. I get so excited watching her play, sometimes I don’t even remember that I’m trying for the same thing. I just want to see her be successful. That might be enough. But I can’t be sure of what I’ll feel until it happens.”

 

“You need to talk this all through with her. That’s the only solution here.”

 

“Ugh.” Ali groans. “She’ll probably never speak to me again.”

 

“Look, Kriegs. You shouldn’t have kept this from her. She has worked really hard to earn your trust so this probably felt like a slap in the face. Not to mention that it totally blindsided her that you were planning to maybe leave but were still pursuing this relationship anyway. But she was wrong to not let you explain or hear you out. She got mad and stormed out and shut down all communication. It was totally unfair. All that said, if you guys really love each other, which I believe you do, you’ll be able to have a conversation about it.”

 

Later that evening, as Ali lays with her head in Kelley’s lap, there is a knock at the door. Kelley gets up to answer it.

 

“Oh. Hi Kelley.” Ashlyn says, a bit embarrassed that this woman probably knows what a jerk she’s been.

 

“Hey, Ash. You’re just in time. Kriegs is getting a little too snuggly in there.”

 

Ashlyn tries to force a small smile, but it ends up more of a grimace. Kelley holds the door open for Ashlyn, who walks in tentatively.

 

Kelley grabs her shoes and pulls them on while Ashlyn and Ali stare awkwardly at each other.

 

“Alright, kids. I’m out of here. Play nice.” She warns and walks out closing the door behind her.

 

“Is it okay if I sit down?” Ashlyn asks, pointing to the spot beside Ali. Ali nods in agreement.

 

“I was a total dick. I’m so sorry, Al. I got freaked out at the thought of you being so far away and I felt like you didn’t trust me and I was wrong. I was 100% wrong. You had every right to keep that to yourself and I’m so, so sorry. I never even gave you a chance to talk about it.” Ashlyn says apologetically.

 

Ali is quiet for a long moment before speaking.

 

“When I was in high school and my parents told us they were divorcing, they sat me and Kyle down and came to us as this unified front. It was something best for the whole family and they both felt this would be better in the long run. And then a few weeks after my dad had moved out, I overheard my mom on the phone. She was crying. I heard her say that she didn’t want the divorce. My dad had come to her, and totally blindsided her. I just remember her voice shaking as she said _‘I would have tried if I had known. I wanted to make it work.’_ She was so distraught. She said my dad had come to her and said he’d done all this thinking and he was sure that this was what he wanted. She said that he’d waited to talk to her until her was certain that this was right for him.”

 

“Why did they act like it was mutual then? Why did they keep it from you?”

 

“I think my mom didn’t want us to be angry with our dad for doing what he needed to. But I was angry with him. For a long time, I couldn’t let go of how he had hurt her, and for how selfish he was only thinking of himself. But I’ve learned a lot since then and now that I’m an adult, I understand that sometimes, thinking about what’s best for you, helps you do what’s best for everyone else. He was still wrong though. He should never have kept how he was feeling from my mom. He was so hellbent on being certain, that he forgot that there were other people involved. It doesn’t matter how certain you are about something if you end up hurting the people you love most.”

 

Ali takes Ashlyn’s hand into her own as she continues.

 

“I’m really sorry for getting too caught up in needing to be sure, that I forgot about what it might feel like for you. I don’t want to sacrifice my relationship or happiness for certainty.”

 

“Ali, you were doing what you felt you needed to do. You didn’t need to worry about how I’d feel, you needed to focus on what you wanted. But I want what you want. I think you should go to Germany. It’s a better opportunity and I want you to be able to play again like you’ve been working so hard to do.”

 

“It’s so much more complicated than that, Ash. I wanted to be sure before I came to you, partially because I thought it might make it easier on you, but also because I needed to convince myself I want this. The truth is, I’m having a hard time wanting it more than I want what we have. And, of course, I don’t mean that we’d break up if I left, but I love seeing you every day and I don’t _want_ that to stop. And it’s not like I can ask you to come with me—“

 

“I’ll go.”

 

“What?!”

 

“To Germany. If you want to play, I’ll go with you. I want you to do what you love.”

 

“What if I want to do something else I love?” Ali says suggestively.

 

“Ali Krieger!” Ashlyn gasps. “At a time like this!?” Ali shoots her a wink in response.

 

“But really, Ash, That’s a big commitment. It’s a risk, really.

 

“You are worth the risk. I want you to do what’s right for you. I can look at clubs over there, or enroll in a school or something. We’ll figure it out.”

 

“But what if you make the league team? I’m not letting you give up your dream for mine.”

 

“I would.”

 

“I know. But you won’t have to. We’ll figure something out. How about this, we table Germany until after tryouts. That has been our focus and it needs to continue to be. After that, we’ll reevaluate. But it’s my offer, and my decision, so if I want to stay, you have to let me make that choice.”

 

“And if you want to go, you have to promise me you will.”

 

Ali holds out her hand to shake on it. The short-haired woman takes Ali’s hand, and then pulls her love into her for a deep, passionate kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So? Do you agree with Grandma Harris, or do you think she missed the mark? Anyone else want Kelley O'Hara to bring them pizza when they're sad or is that just me?


	21. Preview of Coming Attractions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? Feelings? Let me know what you think!

Ashlyn and Ali spend the rest of the day talking, just wanting to be near each other. They discuss favorite holiday traditions, and Christmases past. They discuss years that were the best, and others that were not, and what they hope to have in the future. Late that night they fall into a lull, just lying on the couch listening to music, Ali resting her head in Ashlyn’s lap. When Ashlyn notices Ali has fallen asleep, she picks her up and carries her to her room. That night, when Ali sleepily asks Ashlyn to stay, she does. And just like the nights at Grandma Harris, Ashlyn falls asleep to the steady rise and fall of Ali’s chest as she holds her.

 

The next day, Ali gets a re-do at taking Ashlyn out for their coffee date. They sit across from each other a little table in what has become their favorite spot, playfully arguing about the officialness of their date.

 

“I’m willing to give it to you, but official dates really should be things we haven’t done before.” Ashlyn states.

 

“Why? Official dates should be any and all dates after we became official.”

 

“Where’s the fun in that? Those are just dates as an official couple, not Official Dates. There needs to something different to mark the significance.” Ashlyn argues.

 

“Fine.” Ali concedes. “I will revoke the official status of this date, if you agree that we’ll stop classifying them after we hit the big three. You know, since you’re so into following rules.”

 

“Oh no. You’re not pinning the three-date rule on me, Krieger. You’re the one who brought it up. I’m just seeing it through.”

 

“No, you’re just torturing me.”

 

“Guess you better hurry up and ask me out on that second Official Date then.” Ashlyn smirks.

 

Two days later, Ali takes Ashlyn to a place called Vine Gogh for a wine and paint night with Alex and Servando. Ali tries to convince Ashlyn that this date should count for two since it was both an original date, and a first double date. But Ashlyn suggests maybe it shouldn’t count at all _because_ it’s a double date. In the end, they decide it counts as an official date, but only one. All four of them have a great time, and their paintings aren’t half bad either. Ali and Ashlyn gift their nearly identical paintings to the other, each promising to put it in a place of prominence in their homes, or face the wrath of the other.

 

Because Ali and Ashlyn had each planned one date, they determine that the third date is up for grabs by whoever comes up with an idea. Both women are anxious to plan that third date as the tension and teasing between them has become palpable. Unfortunately, with it getting closer and closer to Christmas, Ashlyn and Ali are both working as much as they possibly can. Not only are they short of free time, but they’re both exhausted. So while the infamous third date still looms in the distance, the pair try their best to stay close. Ashlyn starts staying over at Ali’s almost every night. It isn’t that Ali isn’t willing to stay over at Ashlyn’s, it’s just that they both feel so comfortable at Ali’s. It’s where they have their morning coffee, and have deep talks, and where Ali dazzled Ashlyn with her grilled-cheese-making abilities.

 

The night of December 22nd, Ali and Ashlyn have finished up a dinner shift at Astronomy, and are spending their last night together before going their separate ways for the holiday. They’re on Ali’s couch, her phone playing music through Bluetooth speakers as she straddles Ashlyn’s lap. Ashlyn is lying flat against the couch with Ali’s knees on either side of her hips, and her chest pressed into hers. They’re both thoroughly enjoying their make-out session when _The Weeknd_ ’s “I Feel It Coming” starts to play.

 

 _Tell me what you really like_  
_Baby I can take my time_  
_We don't ever have to fight_  
_Just take it step-by-step_

 

Ashlyn pulls away. “Well this is a new addition to your make-out playlist.” She says with a sly grin.

 

_I can see it in your eyes  
'Cause they never tell me lies_

 

“Oh,” Ali’s voice is low and breathy as she speaks, her lips just barely grazing Ashlyn’s ear. “This isn’t my make-out playlist.”

 

_I can feel that body shake  
And the heat between your legs_

 

Ali moves her lips to Ashlyn’s neck and begins to trail open-mouthed kisses down it. Ashlyn let’s out a soft moan, before slipping her hands under the back of Ali’s shirt and gently running her nails up and down Ali’s back. She begins kissing Ali again, more heatedly than before.

 

 _You've been scared of love and what it did to you_  
_You don't have to run, I know what you've been through_  
_Just a simple touch and it can set you free_  
_We don't have to rush when you're alone with me_

Ashlyn pulls away again, biting Ali’s bottom lip as she does. “So what kind of playlist is this exactly?” she asks knowingly.

 

_I feel it coming, I feel it coming, babe  
I feel it coming, I feel it coming, babe_

 

“If you shut up, maybe you’ll find out.” Ali says leaning in to kiss her girlfriend again.

  
_I feel it coming, I feel it coming, babe_  
_I feel it coming, I feel it coming, babe_

 

“What about the third date?” Ashlyn asks.

 

“Oh!” Ali suddenly sits up all the way, still straddling Ashlyn’s lap. “That reminds me!”

 

Ashlyn just laughs at the sudden shift in mood.

 

“Yes?” Ashlyn asks from beneath the dark-haired beauty.

 

“My dad—“

 

“You wanted to stop _this_ to talk about your dad?!”

 

“No!” Ali says with a light hit to Ashlyn’s shoulder. “Let me finish!”

 

“Okay, geez, sorry!” Ashlyn says rubbing her shoulder.

 

“My dad attends this big event every year for Doctors Without Borders. He always buys a couple of tables to their New Year’s Eve Gala and it’s actually a lot of fun. Everyone gets dressed up and the band is always good and the food doesn’t suck. Anyway, I’ve never taken you, or any girlfriend for that matter, to a Gala before, and its New Year’s Eve, so I thought it might be a great third date. Unless you’ve attended too many galas with girlfriends past?”

 

“I don’t think I’ve attended a gala, period.” Ashlyn replies.

 

“So it meets the requirements for an Official Date?”

 

“Official _third_ date.” Ashlyn says a bit suggestively.

 

“We can ring in the new year with a bang.” Ali plays back.

 

“Did you really just…” Ashlyn says with an eye-roll.

 

“Make a sex pun? Absolutely.”

 

Ali leans down again and begins kissing Ashlyn aggressively. She quickly finds Ashlyn’s tongue with her own as she runs her hands down her chest. She can feel Ashlyn’s nipples hardening under the fabric of her shirt with the touch. Ashlyn’s hands move under Ali’s shirt to find her breasts, as Ali’s hand move lower. She lifts her hips off of Ashlyn’s just enough to comfortably slip her hand under the waistband of Ashlyn’s shorts. She begins to tease Ashlyn over her underwear, feeling the dampness between her legs and knowing it matches her own desire. She leans into Ashlyn’s ear again.

 

“How about a preview of _coming_ attractions?” She whispers seductively.

 

Ashlyn can’t help but laugh. “Really, Al?” She smiles wide as she meets Ali’s eyes. “Another one?”

 

Ali doesn’t break eye-contact as she slips her hand into Ashlyn’s underwear and slides two fingers through her wetness before finding her clit and rubbing slow circles into it.

 

“I can stop if you want?” Ali asks, already knowing the answer.

 

Ashlyn is rendered speechless. Ali continues with her slow, careful touches as Ashlyn’s heart starts pounding, her breath becoming heavy. Ali slowly increases her speed and pressure until she can feel Ashlyn shaking ever so slightly beneath her. Ashlyn eyes close tightly as she throws her head back further into the couch. Ali moves her lips to Ashlyn’s neck as she continues her movements. Soon, Ashlyn lets out a long, shuddering breath as Ali brings her to her peak.

 

Once Ashlyn comes downs, she’s quick to reciprocate, her hand finding its way between Ali’s legs. Ali gasps as she feels Ashlyn enter her with two fingers. She starts moving in and out slowly at first. Methodically. As she picks up her pace, Ali begins moving her hips in time with Ashlyn’s hand as her breathing quickly turns to panting. A couple of minutes later and Ashlyn is pumping even faster, harder, than before and Ali reaches both of her hands behind Ashlyn’s neck and presses their foreheads together. Finally, she’s pushed over the edge, reverently uttering Ashlyn’s name in a choked whisper.

It’s the most intimate the two have been and they lay there on the couch, enjoying the sounds and feelings of the other’s breath as it slows. They feel closer than ever before, quelling some of their lust for one another, but knowing there is still much more to explore.

 

The next morning, Ashlyn and Ali both leave a little later than planned.

 

Ali arrives at her mom’s house in early afternoon, overjoyed to find it decked out in lights, with a giant inflatable snowman in the yard.

 

“Mom!” Ali calls from the kitchen, her arms full of bags.

 

“Honey!” Deb squeals as she greets her daughter and taking a few of the bags.

 

“Merry Christmas Eve Eve!” Ali grins. Ali gets her love of Christmas from her mother and they’re both thrilled that it’s finally here.

 

“Let’s get these presents under the tree so we can catch up.” Deb suggests.

 

The pair arrange the gifts Ali brought under the tree, passing boxes back and forth to make sure the different sizes and papers are distributed evenly. When they’re done, Ali takes her bag upstairs to her designated guest room. Deb calls it her room, and designed it with her daughter in mind, but it isn’t the house she grew up in so it lacks some of the nostalgia. Regardless, Deb’s house feels like home and Ali is glad to be there. As she hangs up the dress she plans to wear tomorrow and organizes a few things, she thinks about how she wants to create a home that feels like this someday. As she gets lost in thought, imagining her hypothetical home, she realizes she’s not alone in her fantasy. She’s preparing two cups of coffee in the large kitchen she’ll eventually learn to use, there are two desks set up in the home office, and there’s a particular short-haired brunette lounging on the sectional in the living room which is a perfect mix of contemporary and comfortable. For a brief moment she thinks to be terrified by how much she’s feeling so soon, but the words of a wise woman reverberate through her mind, _“fear is almost always responsible for destruction.”_ She’d rather just enjoy being in love.

 

“So tell me,” Deb starts as she and Ali make themselves comfortable in the living room. “What’s going on in your life? How are things with Ashlyn?”

 

Ali had already called and talked to her mom after her fight with Ashlyn, explaining generally what had gone on, and that they had talked it out. But she’d left out couple of details.

 

“There’s not much more going on than when I talked to you three days ago, Mom.” Ali laughs. “Things are really good with Ashlyn. I know this is the honeymoon phase or whatever, but this feels different than anything else I’ve been in before.”

 

“Well just enjoy it. I know you know relationships take work and compromise. It’s alright to just enjoy this phase.”

 

“Do you think we’re moving too fast?” Ali asks a bit hesitantly.

 

“What do you mean by that, honey? I think it’s probably a little soon to run off and get married but last we spoke that wasn’t on your agenda.” Deb says casually.

 

“Um.” Ali bites her lip. She’s nervous her mom might tell her something she doesn’t want to hear when she shares this next detail with her. “Well…Ashlyn kind of offered to move to Germany with me if I didn’t make the team here. I’m on the fence about it but not because she wants to come, but because I really think she has a shot at making this team and I know she’d turn down the spot for me. An international move is a big deal. We’ve only been dating officially, for less than a month.”

 

“If you were to go to Germany, when would you leave? July?” Deb asks.

 

“Yeah, around then probably.”

 

“Well by that point you’ll have been together 8 months. That feels a little more reasonable, doesn’t it? Mike and I were married only two years after I met him.”

 

“Yeah.” Ali admits. “But what if things change between now and then?”

 

“Then things change and you adapt. Just like you always do.”

 

“But it’s not just about how long we’ve dated. It’s about not wanting her to give up on her dreams just so I can follow mine. It’s about…ugh.” Ali groans in frustration.

 

“About what, Alex? Finish your thought.”

 

“I want to play professionally, I really do. But I don’t think I want to leave. I don’t know if it’s as important to me as she is. I’m so conflicted because I don’t want to be one of those girls who has become so wrapped up in someone else that I lose sight of myself. It feels fast because I’ve only known her three months and if I’m being perfectly honest, I’m ready to throw that offer in the trash.”

 

“Ah,” Debs says, fully understanding. “Now we’ve gotten to the bottom of it. You know exactly what you want, but you’re worried it’s not what you _should_ want. Am I right?”

 

Ali nods.

 

“Sweetie, why did you come back. When you left Germany, what was behind your decision?”

 

“I loved my time there, so, so much but it was hard being so far away from everyone. From you and dad and Kyle. My friends. After the injury it got so much harder. It just wasn’t worth it anymore to be so far away if I wasn’t playing. It was hard enough convincing myself it was worth it some days even when I _was_ playing. I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything in the world, but I just realized it was time to come home.”

 

“Have you considered that having felt that way then, might also be a factor in how you feel now?”

 

Ali is quiet for a long moment taking in what her mother has said.

 

“When I first got in touch with Hannah again, I felt pretty guilty that I had let it be so long. But I can’t say that I’d felt some big void by not being in touch. Not the way it felt when I didn’t talk to Liz for weeks at a time. When I think about it, Hannah mentioning that they might be interested felt amazing because they _wanted_ me. It was so much more about feeling like I was good enough than it was about the opportunity itself.”

 

“Do you ever regret leaving?”

 

“No,” Ali says with certainty. “It’s been difficult at times to not fully be doing what I want to be doing, but I don’t ever wish I had stayed.

 

“I think you should do what you know you truly want to do. And to hell with what anyone else thinks about. You follow _your_ happiness, whatever that is. As for not losing sight of yourself, I don’t think you have to worry about that. You know yourself, trust in that. You may even know yourself a little better these past three months than you did before. I know your goal is play professionally again and I think you will. You are driven and focused and listening to your instinct. It’ll pay off.”

 

When Ashlyn arrives at her mom’s house, she finds her in the living room, trying to untangle a ball of white Christmas lights.

 

“You want some help?” Ashlyn offers reaching for the mess of lights.

 

“Oh!” Tammye says, startled. “I’m sorry, sweetie. I didn’t hear you come in!”

 

“I didn’t mean to sneak up on you.” Ashlyn says sitting down on the floor by the tree to work on the lights.

 

Tammye lets out a sigh. “I’m so disappointed. I was trying to get this done before you got here. I should have put it up last weekend, but I’ve been so busy and—“

 

“It’s okay, Mom.” Ashlyn gently cuts her off. “I understand. Besides, I like helping with the tree so it works out.” She smiles up at the blonde woman standing beside her.

 

“Are you hungry? I could see if Chris would pick something up on his way over?” Her mother offers.

 

“I’m alright.” Ashlyn continues to untangle lights.

 

“Okay, I’ll go get the rest of the ornaments then.”

 

When Tammye returns with the boxes she seems to be a little more relaxed than before. Ashlyn lightens the mood when she finds a photo ornament dated 1990 and suggests she recreate the photo, including the puffy-sleeved dress with a lace bib, and the too-skinny mall Santa whose lap she’s sitting on. Tammye and Ashlyn both really enjoy decorating the tree together and finish up right as Chris arrives.

 

“Well at least it was done for one of you.” Tammye shrugs.

 

“Team work makes the dream work!” Ashlyn adds, holding her hand up for a high-five.

 

That night, Ashlyn once again sits on the living room floor by the tree. This time she’s wrapping a few last minute gifts. Chris sits in the arm chair beside her, while Tammye sit with her legs outstretched on the couch. She’s watching her third Hallmark Christmas movie of the day.

 

“Did we watch this one already?” Chris asks.

 

“No, that was the _other_ one about an airport mix-up that leads to love. See, in this one Noelle grabs the wrong boarding pass and ends up on the wrong flight sitting next to a handsome man that she’ll pretend to hate until he takes pity on her and brings her home for Christmas where they will be forced to share a room and fall in love. The one earlier was about Joy, who got stranded in an airport and agrees to rent a car with a handsome man to drive to their families for Christmas, but of course the snow storm makes driving impossible so they have to stop at a motel where there is only one room left so they’re forced to share and, of course, fall in love.”

 

“Oh, those are totally different. How could I have ever possibly mixed them up?” He replies sarcastically.

 

“Oh come on!” Tammye tries. “They’re sweet!”

 

“They’re all the same!” Chris argues.

 

“It’s true.” Ashlyn agrees. “It’s a formula. Girl with a holiday-themed name who has given up on love, has a life-changing experience when she meets some guy who either really loves or really hates Christmas. There may or may not be some jolly old man who is secretly the ‘real Santa,’ imparting wisdom to Carole or Chrissy, or Tinsel.”

 

“You two are no fun!” Tammye pretends to pout, but secretly she’s really enjoying it.

 

After the movie, everyone heads to bed knowing that the next day will be busy, but a few hours later, Ashlyn finds she can’t sleep. She gets up and sneaks back downstairs and settles on the couch with a photo album. It’s mostly highlights from her youth soccer days. She’s staring at a picture of her 13-year-old self with the boys’ team she played on, when she hears quiet footsteps and looks up.

 

“Hey Momma. Did I wake you up?”

 

“No, don’t worry. I was up stressing about everything I need to do tomorrow.”

 

“It’ll all work out. That’s why I’m here.” Ashlyn grins at her.

 

Tammye sits beside Ashlyn on the couch and examines the photo with her.

 

“Thank god for your grandmother putting all these albums together.” Tammye says. “Look at how cute you are.” She runs a finger over the picture.

 

“If by cute you mean painfully awkward.” Ashlyn rolls her eyes.

 

“Awkward or not, you were cute.” She kisses the side of Ashlyn’s head.

 

Ashlyn throws her feet up on the couch and leans into her mother who starts to gently stroke her short brown hair. They sit for a few moments like that, looking through the photos. When they reach the end Tammye closes the album and holds it on her lap.

 

“I was visiting with your grandmother the other day.”

 

“Yeah?” Ashlyn isn’t sure where her mother is going, but can sense she wants to say something.

 

“Yeah. She seems a little anxious about your tryouts coming up. I think she feels responsible that you haven’t had that big break yet.”

 

“I wish she wouldn’t. It’s not her fault. It’s no one’s fault.”

 

“I do think she understands that, she’s just so proud of you wants you to get what you’ve worked so hard for. I want that for you too.”

 

“Thanks, Mom. That means a lot.” Ashlyn says sincerely.

 

“And while I know you were happy to do it, you really did give up a lot a few years ago. I know you’d never admit it to anyone, but I know you didn’t do it only for Grandma. I know you did it for me too and I’ve never taken the time to tell you what that means to me.”

 

Ashlyn isn’t sure what to say to this. She’s overwhelmed by her mother’s words.

 

“We had just started talking again and I was less than a year into my recovery. I know I was a mess then, calling you all the time in a panic and asking you to come to my rescue. I hadn’t been there for you for years and yet you were there whenever I asked. It was probably asking too much from you. You knew your dad and I weren’t in a good place to help Gram, and Chris wasn’t really around. You really stepped up for all of us. I wish I could put into words how much I love you, but those words don’t exist.”

 

Ashlyn tries to fight back the tears. “Thank you, mom. I don’t know if we would be where we are right now if I hadn’t stayed. I wouldn’t trade that for anything in the world. If never play soccer again in my life, I’d be okay because I know I’ve got you and Grandma supporting me.”

 

“And Ali.” Tammye adds.

 

“Yeah, I think so.” Ashlyn says with a wide smile. “I really do.”

 

“I’m so happy for you, Sweetheart. Thank you for sharing that with me. For sharing your life with me again.”

 

“I love you too, Mom. Always.”

 

On Christmas Morning, Ali facetimes Ashlyn. Ashlyn is still asleep when she hears her phone ringing. She accepts the call, her eyes still half-closed, hair sticking up every which way, wearing only a sports bra on her upper half.

 

“Merry Christmas” Ashlyn mumbles sleepily.

 

“Merry Christmas, sleepy head! It’s like 8:30! How are you still asleep?!”

 

“I’ll show you.” Ashlyn drops her head the side and closes her eyes, pretending to snore loudly.

 

“Cute.” Ali says with an eye-roll.

 

Ashlyn sits up in bed and holds the phone father away, the blankets falling down around her waist, revealing her abs to Ali who smile unconsciously. Kyle comes up behind Ali with two coffee mugs.

 

“Are we getting naked already?” He asks in mock-surprise as he takes in Ashlyn’s appearance through the phone.

 

“All for you, baby.” Ashlyn winks at Kyle.

 

“Well Merry Christmas to me!” He says wiggling his eyebrows. He sits down and leans in close to Ali.

 

“I’m sorry, is she your girlfriend or mine?” Ali asks.

 

“Didn’t you know? Kyle asks. “We’re in love!”

 

“You two haven’t even met yet!” Ali scoffs.

 

“But we will!” Kyle says excitedly. “I expect to be your New Year’s kiss, Harris.” He says seriously, pointing at Ashlyn through the phone.

 

“I take it you’ll be at the gala too then?” Ashlyn asks.

 

“I know I’m not the favorite Krieger, but I do occasionally get invited to things.” Kyle says.

 

“You’re my favorite Krieger.” Ashlyn says.

 

“Um, excuse me?” Ali says sassily. “I’m about ready to revoke the official status of this date and leave you at two forever as punishment.” Ali glares into the phone.

 

“Is there a word greater than favorite? Because you’re it, babe. Favorite doesn’t do you justice. You are a Queen. An angel. A total badass.” Ashlyn lays it on thick. “And you have a great ass.”

 

“That’s better.” Ali says.

 

“She works out.” Kyle adds.

 

“And I _so_ enjoy it.” Ashlyn grins devilishly. “Anyone else I know going to this shindig?” She asks.

 

“My dad and Vicki obviously but they’ll be at another table with colleagues. We’ll be with Kyle, Kelley, Alex and Servando, Becky and her boyfriend, and Matt and whoever he decides to bring.” Ali replies.

 

Before she can respond, Ashlyn hears a distant voice in the background and watches as both Ali and Kyle turn toward it.

 

“We’ve gotta go, Ash. But I was really just calling to say I love you and Merry Christmas!”

 

“I love you more!” Kyle chimes in.

 

“I love you too, babe.” Ashlyn says

 

“I know.” Ali and Kyle say in unison, with matching smug expressions.

 

Ashlyn just shakes in laughter.

 

“Okay, seriously. We need to go. Give your Grandma a hug from me. Merry Christmas!”

 

“I will. Merry Christmas!”

 

Ali blows a kiss into the phone which Ashlyn pretends to catch in her hand and then holds it over her heart before the call disconnects.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Frat boy Ali, anyone?


	22. Does This Place Have a Pool?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like maybe there were mixed feelings on the last chapter...I love your feedback so if you think there is something really lacking in this story let me know!
> 
> As always, I hope you enjoy this one! Thanks for reading!

A couple days after Christmas, and what is supposed to be Ali and Ashlyn’s post-holiday reunion, Ashlyn wakes up to find a text sent at three in the morning from Ali.

 

**Ali:** Oh my god. Food poisoning. If you need me, I’ll be laying on my bathroom floor awaiting the sweet relief of death.

 

Ashlyn feels terrible for Ali, and a little bit for herself. She was really looking forward to catching up with Ali after the four day eternity it had been since they were last together.

 

**Ashlyn:** I’m SO sorry. Do you want me to bring you anything?

**Ali:** No! You are not allowed to come over!

**Ashlyn:** Seriously? It’s not contagious.

**Ali:** I don’t care. I don’t want anyone to see me like this.

**Ashlyn:** Fine. But you’ll let me know if you need anything?

**Ali:** I’ll be okay.

 

Ashlyn tries to stay in touch with Ali as much as she can through-out the day but she’s working most of the day at Astronomy and it’s surprisingly busy for a Tuesday. When she walks into work she finds Alex replacing pages in a stack of menus.

 

“Hey, Alex. You’re on menu duty?” Ashlyn is surprised, it’s usually something the servers do.

 

“I’m a server today.” She replies, clearly not excited about it.

 

“Because Ali is sick?”

 

“Yeah, and Sam had a cancelled flight so we’re already short. I was a server before I was a bartender, so here I am, changing out menus.”

 

“Well I’m glad it’s you and not someone new who’s just thrown into it. Just tell me how to make your life easier and I’ll do it.”

 

“Thanks, Ash.” Alex says, relieved. “How’s Ali? She didn’t answer when I called earlier.”

 

“Yeah, her texts have kind of dropped off too. I’m hoping that means she’s finally stopped puking long enough to get some sleep. She’s been up since two.”

 

“That sucks” Alex says sympathetically.

 

“Seriously.” Ashlyn agrees. “She told me not to come over, but I’m going to go check on her after work.”

 

“Normally I’d tell you to be careful, but she probably won’t have the energy to slap you.”

 

“Good point. Although she’s pretty resourceful…”

 

“True. Proceed with caution.” Alex warns. “So what did you get Ali for Christmas? Something totally mushy and romantic?”

 

“I got her a Gotham Steel frying pan.”

 

“You got her _what_?!” Alex is horrified.

 

“A Gotham Steel frying pan.”

 

“Please tell me there’s a good reason behind this.”

 

“Maybe you don’t talk to Ali as much as I thought.”

 

“I talk to her enough to know that I never want to sit on her couch again. Now explain.”

 

“When I took Ali home after your Halloween party, she was pretty toasted still. She got so into this infomercial for these super non-stick frying pans. She was _convinced_ she needed one to the point where I had to hide her phone from her. It was pretty adorable though. And hilarious! You should have seen the look on her face. You would have thought the damn thing would give her magic powers or something.”

 

“She told me about that night. Said it was the night she decided it was okay to be in love with you, but she seems to have left out the part where she fell in love with a frying pan too.”

 

“She said that?” Ashlyn doesn’t want to pry if it isn’t something she should know, but she can’t help but be curious.

 

“Yep. She said that she knew it was okay when she asked you to get in bed with her and you turned her down because you knew she was drunk and might not feel the same way about her choices once morning rolled around.

 

“I never told her that was why.” Ashlyn is surprised.

 

“But isn’t it why you didn’t stay?” Alex asks.

 

“I just wanted her to be sure. And I didn’t want to take advantage of her in any way.”

 

“You made her feel safe. She knew that night that she could be in love with you and you wouldn’t hurt her. At least not intentionally.”

 

“I hope not unintentionally either.”

 

“So I know you had your big realization at your grandma’s party, but thinking back on it, when do you think you really fell in love with her?”

 

“I don’t really think there’s a moment like, ‘oh that’s the very second I fell in love!’ I think I started falling when she wrapped a bag of frozen peas to my hand and gave me a bottle of whiskey. I probably should have known when I threw up on her and she continued to speak to me. But if I have to pinpoint some moment as meaning a little more, it was probably the trip to the hospital. When I came out of the anesthesia I could hardly remember my own name but the one thing I knew for sure was that I wanted to see her face.”

 

“That is disgustingly sweet.” Alex says with a smile. “And you got the love of your life a frying pan for Christmas.” She rolls her eyes.

 

“Does it make you feel better if I tell you I also made her a playlist of covers of “Can’t Help Falling in Love” and even old-school burned it on a cd, complete with sharpie drawings?”

 

“Yes! Why didn’t you lead with that?!”

 

Ashlyn just shrugs.

 

“And what did she get you?” Alex says as she starts placing the new bar menus on the nearby bistro tables.

 

“An entire case of coconut lip balm and a photo mug with my prom picture on it.”

 

“The one your grandma gave her?” Alex asks, laughing at the thought.

 

“You knew about that?! I only found out when I got the mug.”

 

“Told you we talk.” Alex sasses. “And what sickeningly romantic thing did she do for you?”

 

Ashlyn blushes just a little. “She gave this little box filled with receipts and ticket stubs and things like that. The sash from her Halloween costume. A dried flower from our first date. The bracelet from my trip to the ER.”

 

“I swear you two are a couple of teenagers.”

 

“I guess” Ashlyn shrugs. “Maybe we’re just making up for lost time.”

 

Although busy, the shift goes well. Alex handles everything gracefully, as she always does, and doesn’t hesitate to boss Ashlyn around when she needs help. Ashlyn, of course, is happy to jump in and do whatever she can. As soon as she’s able to clock out, she’s out the door to her jeep. She waves to Alex as she goes.

 

She arrives at Ali’s apartment a little before nine that night, with a box of saltines and a bottle of ginger ale in hand. Ali wasn’t expecting her so she wasn’t sure if the door would be unlocked but as luck would have it, it was.

 

“Al?” Ashlyn calls out as she opens the door.

 

She immediately hears the sounds of retching coming from the bathroom and cringes just a little.

 

“Ali?” She says knocking on the bathroom door.

 

“No!!” Ali tries to yell, but she’s exhausted.

 

Ashlyn turns the knob and starts to enter when she feels the door being pushed closed on her.

 

“Ali,” Ashlyn laughs lightly, “just let it happen, babe.”

 

“I’m gross.” Ali whines from the other side of the door.

 

“Hey, remember the time I threw up on you and then you had to wear a shirt covered in my vomit for a solid 20 minutes? That was definitely gross but you didn’t let it deter you.”

 

“That was _super_ gross.” Ali agrees.

 

“Exactly my point. The things we do for love. Now let me in.”

 

Ali lets go of the door and sits down on the bathroom floor, her back against the tub for support. Her hair is disheveled, half of it fallen out of her extra messy bun. Her face is pale but her cheeks are flushed, her eyes bloodshot, and her skin clammy. Ashlyn kneels in front of her girlfriend and places a hand on her shoulder, rubbing it gently, comfortingly. She can feel that her shirt is slightly damp from sweat. Ali closes her eyes at the touch.

 

Wordlessly, Ashlyn grabs Ali’s hairbrush and sits on the edge of the tub next to Ali. She pulls the hair tie from her hair and brushes it out.

 

“You don’t have to do that.” Ali says, although she makes no move to stop her.

 

Ashlyn pulls Ali’s hair up into a much tidier bun and secures it with the hair tie. She reaches across the tub and turns the water on, sticking her hand under the faucet, checking until the temperature is right and closes the drain allowing it to fill up. She keeps the water temperature tepid, to avoid spiking the fever Ali seems to be fighting.

 

“You’ll feel better when you’re clean.” Ashlyn explains.

 

“I’m so tired, Ash.” Ali looks up at her, defeat in her eyes.

 

“It’s alright. Is it okay if I help you?” Ashlyn meets her eyes with a reassuring smile.

 

Ali nods.

 

Ashlyn closes the lid of the toilet seat and half lifts Ali to help her sit on it. She carefully pulls Ali’s shirt over her head, and then wraps an arm around her, lifting her slightly, and removes her shorts. Ali sits there, in only her sports bra and underwear, looking small. She feels vulnerable, exposed, but safe. Ashlyn places her hand on Ali’s side, gently running her thumb over the black script adorning her side, before moving it under the band of her bra. Ali breathes in sharply.

 

“Are you okay? If you’re not comfortable with this—“

 

“I’m okay. Your hands are just cold.”

 

“Oh.” Ashlyn says pulling her hand away. “Sorry!” She rubs her hands together, then cups them to her mouth to blow warm air into them. She places her hands back on her sides.

 

“Better?” She asks.

 

“Much.” Ali smiles.

 

Ashlyn slides her hands up under the fabric and quickly pulls the garment over her head. Ali moves an arm across her chest to cover herself. They’ve gotten much closer lately, in an intimate sense, but this was still new territory for both of them. Ashlyn lifts her slightly again and removes her underwear. She takes in the sight before her, slowly glancing at her newly revealed form. But her eyes are caring and gentle, not lustful. That’s when she spots the small round tattoo sitting so low on Ali’s hip that it’s been hidden even though Ashlyn has seen the girl in only her underwear before.

 

“Well, well, well.” Ashlyn says in mild surprise. “What do we have here, Krieger?” She runs a thumb over the small tattoo.

 

“Surprise.” Ali smirks.

 

“Any other surprises I should know about?” Ashlyn asks quirking an eyebrow at Ali and wearing a smirk of her own.

 

“Yeah.” Ali deadpans. “A portrait of your face on my ass cheek.”

 

“Really?!” Ashlyn says in mock-excitement, leaning around Ali to try and get a better look at the supposed tattoo.

 

Ali just shakes her head at Ashlyn’s antics.

 

“Okay. Bath time!” Ashlyn grins.

 

“Socks.” Ali says.

 

Ashlyn glances down and realizes that Ali is completely naked save for a pair of purple socks.

 

‘Right.” She nods. Ashlyn leans down and pulls Ali’s socks off. “Now we’re ready.”

 

She helps Ali to stand who is now fully exposed to Ashlyn. Ashlyn tries not to stare but it’s not as easy as it seems.

 

“Ugh.” Ali groans.

 

“What’s wrong?” Ashlyn asks, concerned. “Did I hurt you?”

 

“No,” Ali pouts, “I just had such grand plans for the first time you saw me totally naked.”

 

“Well please don’t cancel them on account of this. I promise any time I see you naked will be equally thrilling. Maybe more so if you smell less like vomit the next time.”

 

Ashlyn helps guide Ali gently into the shallow, lukewarm water. She sees her shiver slightly at the contact of the water.

 

“Sorry it’s not warmer. “ Ashlyn says apologetically. “I think you’re running a fever.” She presses the back of her hand to Ali’s cheek. “I wanted to be careful.”

 

“I think you’re probably right. And it’s not so bad, really.” Ali reassures.

 

Ashlyn grabs the loofah and body wash and lathers it up before rubbing soapy circles onto her back, then carefully taking each arm and washing it slowly before moving to her shoulders, her chest, her stomach. Ali holds up a shaky leg and Ashlyn takes it, continuing her gentle motions. She uses her hands to rinse Ali’s soft skin with the water. Ali keeps her eyes closed, humming quietly at the feeling of the water running down her exhausted body. She enjoys the tenderness of the moment. There’s nothing sexual or romantic about it, it’s sweet and caring and filled with tangible love.

 

Ashlyn unstops the drain and turns to grab a towel for Ali. Ali, wanting to help a little more, braces herself by grabbing either side of the tub and pushing herself up. But once on her feet, she’s seeing black spots and Ashlyn turns around just in time to see her go down. She grabs her and feels her body become dead weight in her arms as she lowers her back into the tub with a splash. Ali’s head lolls backward so Ashlyn moves an arm to cradle it, trying desperately not to panic.

 

“Ali!” Ashlyn tries to get her to come to. “Shit.” She says out loud to no one. “ _Shit!_ ”

 

She pulls Ali tighter into her chest, and moves her other hand to her cheek.

 

“Babe?” She says softly. “Hey, Al, can you open your eyes for me?”

 

Ali’s eyes flutter, “There we go!” Ashlyn says, relieved. “Try again, babe. Open your eyes.”

 

Ali’s eyes finally open fully and she pulls her head up. “Oh damn.” She mumbles quietly.

 

“Can you tell me where you are?” Ashlyn asks.

 

“I’m pretty sure this is hell.” Ali replies.

 

“There she is!” Ashlyn grins. “Put your arms around my neck. We’re gonna get you dressed and I’m taking you to the hospital.” Ashlyn instructs.

 

“No, I’m okay. I just got dizzy.”

 

“No, you just passed out. I’m taking you to the hospital.”

 

“Ash.” Ali sighs. “Just give me a second, okay? It’s not that serious.”

 

Ashlyn isn’t convinced but she lets Ali sit up more on her own and reaches for another towel that didn’t get dropped into a tub full of water. After another minute Ali asks Ashlyn to help her stand, which she does. She very carefully steps out of the tub and Ashlyn wraps her in the towel. As they make their way down the hall at a glacial pace, Ashlyn is supporting nearly all of Ali’s weight, whose legs are threatening to buckle under her. By the time they reach her bedroom, Ali is nearly out of breath. Ashlyn sits her on the bed, making sure she’s stable before turning to her dresser to grab her some clean clothes. She helps her into a pair of blue cotton shorts, forgoing underwear at all, before pulling a plain white t-shirt that she recognizes as her own, over Ali’s head. She adjusts the pillows and helps Ali lay back, throwing a blanket over her.

 

“If I bring you some water, will it make you throw up again?” Ashlyn asks.

 

“Probably. But I want it.” Ali says.

 

“Okay. I’ll be right back.” Ashlyn says. She turns back when she reaches the door. “Please don’t move.”

 

Ashlyn goes to find her phone that she had set down somewhere so she can send a quick text to Alex, and another to Deb. She pockets her phone and heads back to the kitchen where she grabs a bottle of water, and opens the box of saltines, grabbing a sleeve of the crackers as well. She’s contemplating bringing a small glass of the ginger ale too, when she hears the thud from the bedroom.

 

“Fuck!” Ashlyn lets out as she sets everything down and races back to the bedroom.

 

Sure enough, there’s Ali, crumpled on the floor by her bed. This time, she’s managed to knock her head on the bedside table when she went down.

 

Ashlyn kneels on the floor beside her girlfriend, trying not to let the panic sneak into her voice as she attempts to rouse her. It feels like hours but it’s only seconds before Ali is sitting up again. Ashlyn examines her head, there’s no cut, but a visible bump is forming on her temple. She scoops Ali up in her arms and heads out of the room. This time, Ali doesn’t complain.

 

When they reach the hospital, it’s busier than Ashlyn’s visit and they actually have to sit and wait a few minutes. They sit side-by-side, Ali’s cheek pressed against Ashlyn’s arm, as she drifts in and out of sleep. Finally they call her back to the intake room, but when she tries to stand, she stops.

 

“Whoa. Dizzy.” Ali says closing her eyes tightly to try and get the room to stop spinning.

 

“I’ll grab a wheelchair.” The nurse says.

 

“Nooo!” Ali whines quietly.

 

“Yes.” Ashlyn says sternly, pointing a finger at her. “We’re not doing that again.”

 

After they take Ali’s vitals and assess the situation, they bring her back and the triage nurse wants to get her IV started right away. She tries twice in Ali’s right arm to no avail so she moves to her left. When that fails too, the nurse apologizes and sticks her head out into the hall.

 

“Hey, Kelley? I can I get you to start an IV?”

 

Kelley walks into the small room and takes in the sight before her.

 

“Oh, Kriegs.” She says, her voice dripping in pity. “Buddy.”

 

“It’s nice to see you too, Kell.” Ali greets her friend.

 

“You look _rough_.” Kelley comments.

 

Ali glares at her friend.

 

“What?” She asks defensively. “She’s the one who has to tell you that you look amazing all the time” She says jutting a thumb in Ashlyn’s direction. “I’m the one who gets to tell you that you look like the undead.”

 

“You know, if you guys want to come visit me at work you can just ask. No need to go through all this trouble.”

 

“Uh, Kell?” Ali asks.

 

Kelley takes one look at her friends face and grabs a blue emesis bag, holding it out to Ali.

 

“Impressive.” Ashlyn notes.

 

“It’s one of my special skills.” Kelley grins.

 

“Lucky you.” Ashlyn says sarcastically.

 

“So I take it you’re currently nauseated?” Kelley directs to Ali who just nods.

 

“Well let me get this IV started for you and I’ll work on getting you some Zofran.”

 

Kelley doesn’t bother making another attempt in Ali’s arms and finds a usable vein in Ali’s hand, getting the IV started quickly and with much more ease.

 

“Sorry to make you a pin cushion.” Kelley says as she finishes up. “You know how dehydration makes it so much harder to find veins.”

 

“I understand, I do. But I don’t know if it would have taken so many attempts if it had been you from the start.”

 

“It’s another one of my special skills.”

 

Kelley draws some blood for lab work before hanging the saline, and stepping out to send the samples off to the lab.

 

“I’ll be back with something for that nausea, and Matt should be in to see you soon.”

 

Ashlyn pulls her chair closer to Ali’s bed and reaches for her hand. Ali rolls onto her side, closing her eyes again, as Ashlyn strokes the back of Ali’s hand with her thumb. Kelley returns after a few minutes.

 

“Here bud,” Kelley gives Ali a small white tablet. “Put this under your tongue.”

 

Ali takes the tablet and tries not to gag as she feels it dissolving under her tongue.

 

“We’re still waiting on your labs, but I wouldn’t be surprised if you were low on potassium, so we may give you some electrolytes too. For now, just chill and let those fluids get to work.”

 

“Thanks, Kelley.” Ali gives a small smile.

 

As Kelley is on her way out, Matt enters the room.

 

“Hey, Ali” he says a little too sympathetically. “How are you feeling?”

 

“About as good as I look, according to Kelley.” Ali answers, sitting up a bit more.

 

“So beautiful, as always?” Matt says. Ashlyn rolls her eyes, but he doesn’t notice.

 

“Like I’ve thrown up more times than I thought was humanly possible.”

 

“If we can get you feeling better by the gala, you owe me a dance.” Matt propositions. Ashlyn rolls her eyes again.

 

“Deal.” Ali agrees. “Oh, Matt! I almost forgot! This is my girlfriend Ashlyn, whom you’ve never met before this very second right now.” Ali says gesturing to Ash. “And Ashlyn, this is my friend, and very talented doctor, Matt Erikson.”

 

“Nice to meet you, Dr. Erikson.” Ashlyn says formally.

 

“Almost didn’t recognize you with the hair.” Matt says, pointing to her head.

 

“Oh. Yeah.” Ashlyn replies a little awkwardly, and running a hand through her hair. She wasn’t quite sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Matt turns back to Ali.

 

“Well your fever is low-grade so it’s probably just from the dehydration. It may also be contributing to the nausea at this point so really I think the key here is to get fluids back into you and see how that helps things. Your blood-pressure is pretty low and your heart rate is pretty fast so we’re going to keep monitoring those for a while, but I don’t think we have any reason right now that we need to admit you for.”

 

“Good.” Ali sighs in relief.

 

“Let me just take a look at your head here and I’ll let you get some rest.”

 

Matt examines Ali for a concussion and determines she’s alright.

 

“Okay,” Matt says rolling away from the computer and closer to Ali. “I’m about done here.” He places a hand on her leg. “Do you want me to call your mom or anything?” He offers.

 

“That’s okay.” Ali says. “Ashlyn’s been in touch with her.”

 

Just then Ashlyn’s phone starts ringing.

 

“Look at that,” She says holding her phone up to show the screen, “Debbie C” appears on the caller ID.

 

“Hey, Deb.” Ashlyn answers, crossing one leg over the other, and leaning an elbow on it. “Yeah, we’re in a room and they’re already pumping her full of fluids.” She continues. She listens as Deb says somethings and then let’s out a laugh. “No, no payback. Her aim is either a lot better or a lot worse.” Deb speaks again and Ashlyn nods with every “mhmm” and “yep.” This time it’s Matt who rolls his eyes. “Yeah.” Ashlyn says again. “Okay, I’ll text you any updates.” There’s another small pause. “I’ll tell her. You too. Thanks, Deb. Bye.”

 

“Your mother says she loves you and that you should have listened to me earlier.” Ashlyn directs towards Ali.

 

“She would.” Ali says.

 

“If you think of anything I can do for you, Ali, let me know, okay?” Matt offers again.

 

“Thank you, Mattie.” Ali says sincerely. “Don’t worry about me though, I’m in good hands.” She says reaching for Ashlyn’s hand once again.

 

With that Matt stands rather abruptly and excuses himself with a nod.

 

A little while later Kelley comes back and starts Ali on some electrolytes due to her potassium being low and checks to make sure everything looks good so far, before exiting again. Ali is still feeling pretty nauseated, so she tries to sleep it off but is unsuccessful. After throwing up again, Ashlyn is starting to worry that the medicine isn’t working or that things are worse than they are. She sits in her chair beside Ali, bouncing her leg nervously. Ali reaches out and puts her hand on her leg to calm her. Ashlyn is both touched and a little embarrassed that even in her current state, Ali is still in tune with her and how she’s feeling.

 

When Kelley comes to hang the second bag of saline, she decides it’s time to try something else.

 

“That Zofran clearly isn’t working for you. Let’s try Phenergan and see if that helps.”

 

“ _Please._ ” Ali begs.

 

“What if that doesn’t work either?” Ashlyn asks.

 

“Then we’ll knock her out.” Kelley jokes. “Don’t worry, Ash. We have options.” Kelley reassures, sensing that Ashlyn is getting a little worked up. “We’ll get Ali feeling better in no time.”

 

Sure enough, the second medication works much better than the first and Ali starts to feel a little better. Thanks to the fluids and electrolytes, her energy picks up just a little as well. Now that she’s feeling a bit better, Ali is finally able to drift off to sleep for a while. Ashlyn, feeling relieved that Ali is on the mend, lets herself doze off a little too.

 

Later, Matt enters the room with Kelley close behind, to find both Ali and Ashlyn asleep. He walks up beside Ali and grabs her hand. She grabs ahold of it and pulls it into her with a happy, sleepy, sigh.

 

“Are you feeling better?” He asks quietly.

 

“Oh!” Ali says, her eyes shooting open when she hears his voice. “Sorry, Mattie! I thought you were my wife.” She laughs.

 

“Your _what_?!” He asks.

 

“My wife.” She says shooting him a look like he’s being ridiculous. “Ashlyn.” She says pointing at her.

 

Ashlyn stirs and sits up taking in the sight of Matt holding Ali’s hand in front of her.

 

Suddenly Ali looks a little confused. “You guys met, right?” she asks Ashlyn. “Of course you did.” She dismisses herself. “You met at the wedding, duh.”

 

“Whose wedding?” Ashlyn asks, thoroughly confused and still groggy.

 

“Our wedding.” Ali states like it’s obvious.

 

“Hey, Ali?” Kelley asks.

 

“Kelley!” Ali chirps excitedly, realizing her friend is there.

 

“Hi, Kriegs.” She responds. “Do you know where you are right now?”

 

“Why wouldn’t I?” Ali asks back. “We’re at the hotel.”

 

“Oh boy.” Kelley says.

 

“Hey, does this place have a pool?” Ali asks, turning to Matt.

 

Ashlyn stands up and looks to Kelley with wide, panicked eyes.

 

“Hey, Ash. It’s okay. She’s just feeling that Phenergan. It happens sometimes. It’ll wear off in a little while. You just have to redirect her a little.”

 

“What are you two whispering about over there?” Ali asks eyeing the pair.

 

“Hold on, Ali. I just need to talk to your wife a minute, okay?”

 

“Fine.” Ali pouts. “But secrets don’t make friends, Kell!”

 

Matt gently redirects Ali, reminding her that she’s actually in the hospital and making it a little too clear that she is, in fact, not married to Ashlyn. Meanwhile, Kelley talks Ashlyn down.

 

“We’re going to hang one more bag of fluids, let her rest just a little more, and then we’ll get you guys out of here. She’ll probably be feeling like a whole new person tomorrow.”

 

“I’m sorry for freaking out, Kelley. I don’t how she was so calm with me. I’ve been a wreck this whole time.”

 

“Well first of all, she’s a doctor’s daughter, being cool with medical stuff is part of the territory. She had your appendicitis diagnosed before you even got here. And second of all, she was not nearly as calm as you think she was. I thought she was going to wear a hole in the floor from pacing back and forth so much while you were in surgery. When you’re sick, you don’t always pick up on the little things. Ten bucks says she doesn’t realize that you were a basket case tonight.”

 

“You think?” Ashlyn says glancing back at Ali who is animatedly rambling on about something to Matt.

 

“I’m almost positive.” Kelley says with a pat to Ashlyn’s back.

 

“Alright, Dr. Matt.” Kelley says to Matt. “I think our work here is done for the time being. Let’s give the newlyweds a few minutes.”

 

Matt starts to argue but Kelley shoots him a look and he follows her out of the room.

 

“Um, I know were not actually married.” Ali says more to tell herself than Ashlyn. “I just, uh, I got confused for a minute.” Ali still looks confused.

 

“That’s okay, Al.” Ashlyn says sitting down next to Ali again. “There are probably worse things in the world than being married to you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? Let me know!
> 
> NYE is coming up next! What are you looking forward too?


	23. So Where's the Wife?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to keep you waiting...I was enjoying a long weekend with good friends, but let's get this NYE party started, shall we?

Ashlyn takes Ali home from their little hospital visit around three in the morning. At this point they’re both exhausted, but Ashlyn takes her time getting Ali settled in bed with everything she might need nearby. Ali is already half-asleep when Ashlyn finally changes out of her black jeans and black button-down that she had worn to work, and crawls into bed in her sports bra and a pair of borrowed shorts. The shorts are a bit shorter than what she’d normally wear given that Ali likes to show off her legs at every available opportunity. But she doesn’t plan on leaving that apartment for at least the next 30 hours, so she doesn’t care. Once Ashlyn crawls into bed, Ali immediately throws an arm around her waist and rests her head on Ashlyn’s chest. She’s lulled to sleep to the tune of Ashlyn’s heartbeat, while Ashlyn drifts off gently stroking Ali’s hair.

 

Ashlyn spends Wednesday nursing Ali back to health, making sure she rests and enforcing a strict diet of chicken broth, and popsicles until it’s been a full 24 hours since she last threw-up. Only then does she allow her to start eating bananas, rice, applesauce, and toast or crackers. By Thursday night, Ali is feeling one-hundred percent herself again, and is begging Ashlyn to let her order pizza. Ashlyn makes her soup and salad instead. On Friday, they both go back to work.

 

“Alexandra!” Ashlyn scolds when she finds Ali eating a plate of truffle fries with shredded Parmesan and garlic aioli. “What do you think you’re doing?!”

 

“Living, Ashlyn.”

 

“Don’t expect me to make you feel better later if you feel miserable!”

 

“it’s okay Nurse Ratched, you’re off the clock” Ali says with an eye-roll.

 

“Is it so terrible if I care about you?” Ashlyn asks.

 

“No,” Ali says leaning in for a light peck. “I appreciate it very much.” She kisses her again. “I appreciate _you_ very much.”

 

“Mm.” Ashlyn says licking her lips. “Garlic.”

 

She reaches for a couple of Ali’s fries and stuff them in her mouth before Ali can bat her hand away.

 

“Hey!” Ali cries. “I need those!”

 

“You _need_ them?” Ashlyn asks skeptically.

 

“Yes. I need to prepare for the five-course dinner we’re having tomorrow night.”

 

“And your preparation is eating an entire plate of fries by yourself?”

 

“No.” Ali says rather nonchalant. “I also plan to have late-night tacos and a pint of mint-chocolate chip ice cream.”

 

Ashlyn just shakes her head with smile and steals a few more fries from Ali’s plate.

 

Saturday morning, Ali kicks Ashlyn out of her apartment, shoving a banana and her prom-queen mug of coffee in her hand as she goes. Ali and Alex are going to go have their hair and make-up done, before returning to Ali’s apartment to get ready with Kyle. Ashlyn decides to go home and sleep another couple of hours, before heading over to Alex and Servando’s place to wait for Ali, Alex, and Kyle to make their grand entrances.

 

Alex makes hers first, coming in before Ali and Kyle. She’s wearing a long, gold sequined sheath dress with short sleeves and a high neck, her hair is worn down with soft waves. Servando is wearing a black suit and white dress shirt with a black skinny tie covered in gold pin dots and a gold pocket square. The pair look quite stunning together. Ashlyn is sure to tell Alex how beautiful she looks, before asking where Ali and Kyle are. But before Alex can answer, Kyle bursts into the room, immediately locking eyes with Ashlyn and sighing dramatically.

 

“Love at first sight!” He says, holding a hand over his heart.

 

Ashlyn walks right over to Kyle, wraps an arm around his waist, and dips the man right there in Alex’s kitchen.

 

Everyone is laughing at the display when Ali rounds the corner into the room and Ashlyn’s breath catches. She stands in the middle of the room, still holding Kyle, with her mouth slightly agape.

 

“ _Wow_.” Ashlyn breathes out.

 

“You look pretty wow yourself.” Ali beams back.

 

Ali is wearing a midnight blue, floor-length gown. It has a flowing chiffon skirt and bodice with a sweetheart neckline. The bodice is covered in a beaded lace overlay, giving the dress sheer cap-sleeves. The dress fastens at the nape of her neck then opens up to be completely backless, with a little bit of beaded lace detail where the skirt begins at her low back. As Ali walks toward Ashlyn, the thigh-high slit is revealed. The dress is equal parts sexy and elegant, and Ali is absolutely stunning in it. Ali’s hair is twisted into a chic bun, low and to the side.

 

Ashlyn wears a black suit with a cropped pant. The suit has a slight sheen that reflects a blue hue in the light. She wears a white shirt, black vest, and a midnight blue skinny tie and pocket square. She completes her look with black, patent leather loafers.

 

“I know my sister looks incredible and all, but I really thought we were having a moment here.” Kyle says.

 

Ashlyn continues to stare at Ali.

 

“This is why Kelley is my date.” Kyle says rolling his eyes and stepping out of Ashlyn’s embrace.

 

“Sorry, man.” Ashlyn says without taking her eyes off Ali. She steps to her, taking one hand to spin her around. “You’re gorgeous.” Ashlyn says sincerely. “This dress looks amazing on you.”

 

Ali pecks Ashlyn’s lips and leans in close to her ear, whispering, “It’ll look even better on the floor.”

 

Ashlyn’s cheeks turn pink as she starts to envision the scenario.

 

“Well let me formally introduce you,” Ali says brushing past Ashlyn with a wink. “Kyle, this is Alex’s boyfriend Servando.”

 

“Nice to meet you.” Kyle says with a handshake.

 

“And of course,” Kyle says looking to Ashlyn. “You’re Ashlyn. _Former_ love of my life. Ignoring me for the lesser Krieger!” he says shaking his head.

 

Everyone laughs as Kyle continues to tease Ashlyn, and occasionally Ali, until their Uber arrives to take them to the hotel for the gala. Once they arrive, Ashlyn offers to wait in the rather long coat check line with Kyle while Ali heads into the ballroom to find their table. Alex and Servando run into someone they know in the lobby, so Ali wanders the large, extravagantly decorated ballroom alone. When she reaches the table she finds Kelley standing by her place setting, reading the menu for the evening’s meal.

 

“Excuse me,” Ali taps her on the shoulder, “I think you have the wrong seat. That one belongs to my friend, Kelley O’Hara.” She says pretending not to recognize her friend.

 

“Very funny, Kriegs.” Kelley says unamused.

 

“Kelley?!” Ali feigns shock. “Who knew you cleaned up so nice?”

 

“Did you expect me to show up in my scrubs?” Kelley asks.

 

“Or your soccer shorts.” Ali teases. “You look great, Kell.” She ends sincerely.

 

Kelley is wearing a tea-length black satin skirt with a white satin, off-the-shoulder crop top. Her light brown hair is down and swept to the side with large curls.

 

“Thanks, buddy.” Kelley grins at her friend. “You are crushing it in that dress. And great hair! I can hardly see that lump on your head.”

 

Ali playfully gives Kelley a little shove before she pulls her phone out for a quick selfie seeing as they both look so great.

 

“So where’s the wife?” Kelley asks.

 

“Kelley.” Ali groans.  


 

“What?” Kelley asks innocently.

 

Just then, Ashlyn makes her way over, placing a hand on the exposed skin of Ali’s back and a kiss on her cheek. “Hey, babe.”

 

“There’s the missus!” Kelley cheers.

 

“Hi to you too, Kelley.” Ashlyn says with a laugh.

 

Ali lets out an annoyed whine.

 

“Come on, Al,” Ashlyn says, “it’s kind of funny.”

 

“Not you too!” Ali pouts.

 

“Hey, does it make you feel better to know that this place has a pool?” Kelley continues to taunt.

 

Kyle approaches the trio, gleefully greeting Kelley with a giant hug.

 

“Kelley!” He says squeezing the girl tightly. “I missed you!”

 

“I missed you too, Ky.” She says kissing his cheek. “Oh! I brought you something!” She says excitedly.

 

Kelley pulls out the chair she’s been leaning against a little ways and grabs a small box off it, handing it to Kyle. He lifts the lid and gasps in pure joy.

 

“A corsage!? For _me_?!”

 

“I know how to charm ‘em.” Kelley says, pretending to brush something off her shoulder.

 

“Put it on me!” Kyle nearly demands.

 

Kelley removes the wrist corsage and slides the band over Kyle’s outstretched hand. The corsage is made up of several small white roses, sliver ribbon, and accents of something dipped in glitter. Kyle is beside himself and everyone is laughing at the classic Kelley gesture and Kyle reaction. Ashlyn poses the pair like a prom photo, with Kelley standing behind the much taller man, and wrapping her arms around his waist, hands resting on his hips. Kyle places his hands over hers, his corsage on full display as they both cheese for the camera. Alex and Servando join the group as the photoshoot is happening and are entirely unfazed by the sight before them.

 

“I hope that’s next year’s Christmas card.” Alex says casually.

 

“I’d like an 8x10 in a frame please.” Servando adds.

 

“An 8x10 of what?” Matt asks, approaching the table.

 

“Of our beautiful faces.” Kelley replies patting Kyle on the cheek.

 

“I can’t say that’s what I was expecting, but I’m not surprised.” Matt replies. “Wow, Ali.” He says turning to her. “You look beautiful tonight.” He says sounding a bit in awe.

 

“Oh. Thank you.” Ali is a little taken aback by the comment. Ever since the hospital she’s noticed Matt acting sort of strange, and she’s not entirely sure why, but it’s starting to make her a little uncomfortable.

 

“Hi,” Ashlyn says leaning around Matt a bit to make eye-contact with a young woman standing a bit awkwardly behind Matt. “Are you Matt’s date?” She asks with a smile.

 

“Yes!” the girl replies brightly. “I’m Sadie.”

 

Ashlyn offers her hand to the woman. “I’m Ashlyn.”

 

Matt takes a step back and wraps an arm around Sadie, pulling her into him.

 

“I’m Ali.” Ali introduces herself.

 

“Oh! Ali! Matt’s said a lot of nice things about you!”

 

“Has he? He probably wants something.” She says playfully eyeing the man.

 

Matt introduces Sadie to everyone, and Becky and her boyfriend join them just as the wait staff starts coming around with hors d’oeuvres and glasses of wine. Ali has to spend a fair amount of time conversing with “important members of the community” and while Ashlyn insists she fine talking to Alex and the others, or even just being on her own, Ali is thrilled at the opportunity to introduce her to everyone. Ash charms all of Dr. Krieger’s colleagues who were first terrified, and then amused when she greeted the man by throwing an arm around his shoulder and referring to him as “Doc.” They chat with people who have known Ali since she was six-years-old, and others whom she’s just met, but regardless of who it is, Ali beams and proudly states, “I’d like you to meet my girlfriend, Ashlyn Harris.”

 

At one point, Dr. Krieger introduces Ali and Ashlyn to the president of the hospital, Carolyn Rogers, who is thrilled to find out that both Ali and Ashlyn are going to try out for the professional club team. As it turns out, Carolyn is a huge soccer fan, and she can’t help but unofficially share with them that the hospital will be sponsoring the team. Ashlyn notices a few camera clicks as they’re talking, and a few moments later a photographer asks them for a picture. Ali has a hold of Ashlyn’s hand and doesn’t let go even as they pose, Carolyn next to Ashlyn and Ken next to his daughter. After the photographer has asked for the proper spelling of their first and last names and has moved on, Ashlyn asks Ali what just happened.

 

“What was that all about?” she asks.

 

“Probably for the paper. Maybe the website, but they usually only ask for your name if it’s for the paper.” Ali says casually.

 

“The paper? You mean like the newspaper?”

 

“Yeah.” Ali shrugs. “They cover the gala every year.”

 

Ashlyn makes a mental note to call her Grandma tomorrow morning and ask her to save a couple of copies of the paper if there are any pictures of her and Ali.

 

Ashlyn and Ali are both enjoying the evening so far, and even more, they’re enjoying each other. Ashlyn is having a hard time keeping her hands off Ali, and Ali has a hard time being subtle with how much she enjoys it. They both know how they intend to spend the end of the night, and the anticipation is killing them both slowly. But they both want tonight to be different than anything before so they pace themselves, slowly nursing their glasses of wine, trying to stay clear-headed.

 

Eventually the social hour and silent auction bidding comes to an end and everyone heads back to their tables for opening remarks as the salad course is served. As they reach their table, Ashlyn notices that the place cards seem to in a different order than before. Matt is now seated next to Ali and as she approaches, he reaches for her chair. Ashlyn pulls it out before he gets a chance, and Ali smiles sweetly at her as she sits down. Ashlyn leans in closer to Matt.

 

“Maybe try being chivalrous with your own date.” She suggests, her voice low.

 

Matt turns to the other side and finds Sadie already seated, looking a little miffed.

 

The group of friends enjoys their dinner, the moving speeches and presentations about the work last year’s funds accomplished, and the kind of lively conversation that can only take place among friends. Kelley takes great joy in commenting on how well Ashlyn gets along with her “father-in-law” and filling a confused Sadie in on Ali and Ashlyn’s “marriage.” Matt changes the subject as soon as he can.

 

Ali and Ashlyn continue to find little ways to get closer throughout the meal. Ashlyn scoots her chair closer, and Ali rests a hand on Ashlyn’s thigh. After the plates are cleared, Ali leans into Ashlyn who drapes an arm over the back of Ali’s chair and mindlessly runs a finger up and down Ali’s arm. When Ash leans in for a light peck, Ali reciprocates with one of her own, which leads to a real kiss, which leads to another, and pretty soon, Alex and Kelley start throwing leftover pieces of baguette at them, while Kyle makes gagging sounds.”

 

When the band starts playing, Ashlyn removes her jacket and rolls her sleeves up to her elbows, then immediately drags Ali to the dance floor, with Kelley, Kyle, and Alex following suit. They all dance together until the music slows down and everyone pairs off. Ali wraps her arms around Ashlyn’s neck and presses their foreheads together as they sway to the music. Ashlyn wonders if it would be inappropriate to suggest they leave.  

 

After a few more dances, Ali and Ashlyn decide to take break, sitting back down at their table, where they find Matt and Sadie sitting next to each other in silence. They make pleasant enough conversation but both Ashlyn and Ali can sense that something is strained between Matt and his date.

 

“Well, Ali, I believe you owe me a dance. What do you say?” Matt asks, standing and holding a hand out to her.

 

“A deal’s a deal, Mattie.” She says taking his hand.

 

As the pair walks off, Ashlyn moves over a couple chairs to sit next to Sadie.

 

“So, Sadie, how’s your evening so far?” Ashlyn asks.

 

Sadie sighs. “I think my date is in love with your girlfriend.” She says, knowing Ashlyn has picked up on it.

 

“Matt hasn’t exactly been a gentleman tonight.” Ashlyn agrees. “You know, you don’t have to stick around if someone wants to be a jerk to you. And from what I can tell, you’re in jerk territory with him.”

 

“I swear he forgot I was here for a solid hour.”

 

“What are your friends up to tonight? Maybe you can meet up with them.” Ashlyn suggests.

 

“I don’t want to be rude. He did pay for my ticket, and bought me this dress. I mistakenly thought it was because he liked me, but turns out he just didn’t want to show up alone.”

 

“Did he tell you he bought you a ticket?” Ashlyn asks, her anger flaring a brief moment.

 

“Yeah.” Sadie is confused.

 

“Dr. Krieger bought this table. He paid for all of us with a donation. I’m not sure if Matt was trying to impress you or what, but he definitely didn’t buy any tickets.”

 

“Seriously?!” Sadie asks incredulously. “I cancelled plans to come to this thing because he told me he already bought the tickets and that they were expensive. Passed it off as some grand gesture because he wanted to spend New Year’s with me and thought I would love this.”

 

“Maybe it’s not too late. What were your plans? Can you still make it?”

 

“No.” Sadie shakes her head. “A bunch of my friends rented a beach house for the weekend. With the drive, it wouldn’t be worth it. But I was texting my friend Sofia and she told me come over and we’ll drown our sorrows in a bottle of wine. Not exactly how I thought I’d ring in the New Year but I don’t know if I want to spend it with him.” She points at Matt who is holding Ali close, this hand just a little too low on her back.

 

“I have an idea, but you can turn it down if it’s not your thing.” Ashlyn starts.

 

“Okay…” Sadie says a little skeptical.

 

“My brother works in security and occasionally picks up shifts as a bouncer for extra cash. He’s working tonight at a club not too far from here that’s having this huge party. He can get a couple of people in so he put me and Ali on the list in case we wanted to come by after this but we’re not going to. I can text him and see if he can put you and your friend on the list instead.”

 

“Really? Are you sure you want to give away your spot?”

 

“Trust me. Ali and I have other plans. They’ll go to waste if you guys don’t go.”

 

“Okay.” Sadie grins at Ashlyn excitedly. “I’ll text Sof and see if she’ll meet me down here with a change of clothes.”

 

“What? A floor-length gown isn’t the statement you want to make in the club?” Ashlyn asks.

 

Ashlyn texts Chris and gets the names changed Sadie gets ahold of her friend who is thrilled to be going out to an exclusive party on New Year’s Eve.

 

All the while, Matt and Ali have been having their own conversation out on the dance floor.

 

“So.” Matt starts.

 

“So.” Ali mimics.

 

“I have to admit, I was a little surprised when I found out you were bringing Ashlyn to this.”

 

“Why?” Ali tries not to sound too offended, though she is.

 

“Come on, Ali. You don’t really bring the people your dating to things like this.”

 

“She’s my girlfriend, Matt. Not just someone I’m dating.”

 

“But you two aren’t _serious_.”

 

“Actually, yes.” Ali stops moving.

 

“Ali, you’re never serious about anyone.” Matt scoffs.

 

“That shouldn’t matter because I’m telling you that I am now. That should be enough for you. What’s wrong with you tonight?!”

 

“I just thought, you know, new year, new beginnings, maybe a new us.”

 

“Where is this coming from?” Ali is genuinely confused. It’s been years since she and Matt dated and he didn’t seem to show any kind of renewed interest in her until Ashlyn came into the picture.

 

“I care about you, and I’ve wanted to try again for a long time.”

 

“Then why wait until now, until Ashlyn, to talk to me about this? Because it really feels like you only wanted to ‘try again’ when I was no longer available. We’ve been friends for years and I’ve never known you to be an asshole like this.”

 

“It’s not like that. I don’t want you just because I can’t have you.” Matt says with some bite.

 

“Then what is it like?”

 

“You haven’t really been serious with anyone since us. Maybe once, but that ended too and then you were even less serious with people. Everything has been casual and I don’t know. I guess I thought maybe there was a reason.”

 

“And you were that reason?”

 

“Maybe.” He looks into her eyes. “We broke up so you could go to Germany, it felt like we didn’t really get a chance.”

 

“Matt, we didn’t break up because of Germany. We broke up because we weren’t right for each other. We dated more than six months! It was long enough to know.” Ali speaks sincerely, wanting Matt to understand that she hears what he’s saying, but that it doesn’t change anything.

 

“Yeah, six months, but we never even slept together.” Matt argues.

 

“What does that matter?” Ali is no longer feeling understanding, she’s feeling pissed.

 

“How do you know for sure this isn’t want you want if we never got to that step?”

 

“Because relationships are about more than sex, Matt! I didn’t sleep with you because I didn’t _want_ to. You don’t have some magical dick that makes girls fall in love with you.” Ali says taking a step back.

 

“I don’t think that. But intimacy is different when a guy, Ali. It’s been a while since you were _really_ with someone, with a guy—“

 

“Oh, so you think it’s a magical dick that will make me straight?! I cannot believe you! We’re friends, Matt. Or were. I don’t even know anymore. I never thought you were one of those guys that can’t let go of a girl unless he can add her to his list of conquests. And I _definitely_ didn’t think you were someone who would delegitimize my relationship because I’m in love with a woman.”

 

“Ali, I swear to you—“

 

“I don’t want to hear it!” Ali says as she storms off. Matt reaches out to grab her arm when he feels a hand on his shoulder, pulling him back. He turns to find Ashlyn, a strange smirk on her face. Ashlyn throws her arm around his shoulder, holding tightly, and leans her head against his.

 

“You and I are going to go have a little chat.” Ashlyn says with her devilish grin.

 

“I need to talk to Ali.” He says trying to break free of her hold.

 

“Well she doesn’t need to talk to you and she’s made that perfectly clear by walking away. So now we’re going to step out on this terrace here and go over a few things.”

 

Matt groans but allows her to guide them outside.

 

“Here’s the deal, Matt. When we met, you seemed like a standup guy. I was always aware that the reason you were willing to help me in my time of need was because you care about Ali, but that was okay because there were boundaries. Unfortunately for you, you seem to have lost sight of those. While I’m not exactly a fan of you flirting with my girlfriend, I can tolerate it because she’s a badass who can take care of herself. I also trust her implicitly so if you were at all hoping I’d feel threatened or intimidated by you, you’re out of luck. That said, I’m not willing to sit around and watch you take advantage of Sadie. She’s a really sweet girl, and you’ve been a real asshole to her all night. So the deal is, you’re going to go over and apologize to Sadie, who is leaving because she deserves a better night that putting up with your sorry ass. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll mean it. Then, you’ll apologize to Ali for whatever it is you said to piss her off.”

 

“How is that a deal?” Matt asks.

 

“Ah. You mean what do you get out of it?”

 

Matt nods.

 

“Well, you learn how to not be a giant bag of dicks, and maybe gain back a tiny sliver of the respect everyone lost for you tonight. But I wouldn’t count on it.”

 

“ _Fuck_.” Matt says, covering his face with his hands. “Fuck this.”

 

Ashlyn stands there a moment, giving him a chance to agree, but when he doesn’t, she turns to go back inside. She’s one foot through the door when Matt calls her back.

 

“Wait. Ashlyn.”

 

She turns back to him.

 

“You’re right. I’ve been a fucking asshole to you and Sadie and Ali. I’m going to apologize.

 

“Good.” She nods and then turns again.

 

“And, uh, Ashlyn?”

 

She looks back at him again.

 

“Thanks for not punching me in the face.”

 

“You’re welcome. But to be clear, if Ali decides you deserve it, the honor is all hers.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Favorite lines/parts? Thoughts and feelings on Matt? Thoughts and feelings on Ali's/Ashlyn's reaction to Matt? Will Ali punch Matt in the face? Is he going to ruin their night?!


	24. Cookie Dough or Mint Chocolate Chip?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many big moments of this story have been set to music, and while this chapter I did not want to incorporate lyrics, it still has a soundtrack, so to speak. So listen before you read, or while you read (the last part more specifically) or after you read. Whatever you choose, I hope it'll add to the experience. 
> 
> https://youtu.be/zB6oIdz_ZXo
> 
> This one has a little bit of everything. I hope you enjoy it!

Kelley watches as Ashlyn guides Matt outside, and Ali runs to the bathroom. She grabs Alex and chases after Ali, finding her standing by the sinks, her face in her hands.

 

“Hey.” Kelley says softly, pulling Ali’s hands away. “Look at me.”

 

Ali sniffles as a fat tear rolls down her cheek. Kelley holds Ali’s face in her hands and wipes away the tears with her thumbs.

 

“What happened, buddy?” Kelley asks, her voice calm and reassuring.

 

“Matt happened.” Ali says angrily.

 

“Fuck Matt.” Kelley responds. “I put up with the guy because we work together, but the dude has an ego problem.”

 

“And he’s been so awful to Sadie all night.” Alex adds.

 

Ali takes a few minutes to explain everything that had just transpired, only fueling Alex and Kelley’s disdain for the man.

 

“Don’t let this ruin your night, Kriegs.” Kelley says. “I know you’ve got big plans later.” She says wiggling her brows at Ali.

 

“Oh yeah!” Alex chimes in. “It’s the big third date.”

 

“Ugh. It’s about damn time.” Ali complains.

 

“You two did this to yourselves.” Alex says.

 

“I know.” Ali smirks

 

Kelley is about to make a smartass remark about how Ali’s enjoying the tension a little too much when Sadie and her friend Sofia enter the bathroom.

 

“Oh!” Sadie says, startled to find everyone standing there. “Hi.”

 

“Hey, Sadie.” Ali says a little embarrassed. She feels bad that she’s the reason Matt has been so awful to her tonight. “I’m really sorry—“ Ali starts.

 

“Don’t apologize, Ali” Sadie cuts her off. “I think we all know Matt isn’t worth any of this drama, so let’s just hug it out and enjoy the rest of the night okay?” Sadie says holding her arms out.

 

“I’m not really a hugger, but I think this instance definitely calls for one.” Ali says wrapping her arms around Sadie.

 

Sadie steps into a stall and changes, all the while explaining what Ashlyn had done for her and Sofia. When she’s changed, Ali helps her fix her hair and Alex touches up her make-up. They’re all finally headed out of the bathroom when Sadie stops Ali a moment.

 

“Matt apologized to me, before I came in here. I’m not really ready to forgive him, but he at least sounded like he meant it.”

 

“That’s good I guess.”

 

“He wants to talk to you too. I’m not trying to convince you that you should, just warn you. I know he’s looking for you.”

 

“Thank you.” Ali says holding the door open for them.

 

After seeing Sadie and Sofia off, Ali, Alex and Kelley go to find the rest of their group. When they do, Kyle is twirling Becky around the dance floor, while Ash, Servando, and Becky’s boyfriend are by the bar getting drinks. They all leave the bar with two drinks in hand, except for Ashlyn who is effortlessly carrying three. Ali meets her halfway, taking what she hopes is a gin and tonic from her.

 

“Good guess.” Ashlyn smiles at her. “That one is for you.”

 

“One for me, and two for you?” Ali teases.

 

“One for you, one for me, and one for—“ But before she can finish, Kyle is taking a drink from her hand.

 

“Thanks, darling.” Kyle says to Ashlyn before taking a sip of his club soda, and dancing away.

 

“Are you okay, Al?” Ash asks. “I wanted to go and find you but Kyle told me to let Kelley and Alex handle it.”

 

“Yeah, I’m okay. Thanks for caring though.” Ali leans in for a kiss.

 

“I couldn’t stop if I tried.”

 

“I know.” Ali grins.

 

The pair is about the hit the dance floor again, when Matt approaches.

 

“Hey, Ali, can I talk to you a minute?” Matt asks, pleadingly.

 

Ali thinks about it a moment before nodding.

 

“I’ll be right back, babe.” Ali says to Ashlyn, handing her her drink. Ashlyn is staring down Matt.

 

Matt looks away from Ashlyn, but can feel her eyes on him, as he waits for Ali. They make their way outside to the terrace where Ashlyn and Matt had their little chat earlier.

 

Ali leans her shoulder against a pillar and stares at Matt expectantly.

 

“I’m sorry, Ali. I’ve been a supreme asshole to you.”

 

“Yeah. You have.” Ali agrees.

 

“I let my jealousy control me.”

 

“Where did it come from? The jealousy? I mean, how did we get here?” Ali asks, genuinely wanting to understand.

 

Matt sighs heavily and leans against the pillar next to Ali.

 

“That night you showed up drunk on my doorstep, with _her_ , I saw something on your face I’d never seen before. It was the way you watched her, like you were taking all of her in. You had this look of admiration and curiosity and something I still can’t quite place. At the time, I just chalked it up to you being drunk and wanting to experiment more.”

 

“Matt!” Ali scolds.

 

“I know, I know. It’s not an experiment. I figured that out when you showed up in the E.D. the other night. You couldn’t even stand on your own but you could still look at her like that. You’d never looked at me that way. And I got hung up on trying to figure out why. I was jealous.”

 

“Matt, I never looked at you that way because I wasn’t in love with you and I was never going to be.”

 

“But it’s not fair, Ali!” Matt almost yells. “You ended things and I didn’t get a say in it. We weren’t on the same page!”

 

“That’s how it works sometimes, Matt!” Ali yells back. “It’s not always mutual. And you can’t ask another person to sacrifice all of their happiness for your own.”

 

“Maybe I could have made you happy though.”

 

“You didn’t.” Ali says softly. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I hurt you and I’m sorry that it wasn’t fair to you, but it wasn’t fair to either one of us to stay in a relationship like that. I’m trying to understand where you’re coming from but I’m struggling. I’ve heard you say that we ‘didn’t have a chance’ or that we ‘weren’t on the same page’ but I haven’t once heard you say that you were in love with me either. In fact, all I’m hearing is more about how didn’t know you wanted me, until you saw that you couldn’t have me.”

 

“I’m sorry.” Matt mumbles.

 

“Are you?” Ali asks incredulously. “Or do you just want this problem to go away?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“Well let me tell you what _I_ know, Matt. I know that you made me feel like shit. You made me feel like I wasn’t even a person, just some _thing_ to be won. I know that you had your ego bruised because a beautiful woman was seemingly more capable of getting what you wanted, even though that isn’t how it works. I know that you treated Sadie like she was a thing and not a person too. You used her. And I know that the absolute worst part of all of this is that you were so damn good at convincing us that you really did see us as people, that you valued us. You were charming and kind and respectful only until it was no longer to your advantage. Act a gentleman and maybe she’ll sleep with you. If she doesn’t? Then your true colors come out. So what I know, Matt, is that I can’t look past that.”

 

Matt doesn’t say anything. He just stares at his feet, still leaning against the pillar.

 

“If you’ll excuse me,” Ali says heading towards the door, “I want to get back to my girlfriend.”

 

“You’re really in love with her.” Matt states, a bit relenting, a bit irritated.

 

“I really am.” Ali says, pulling the door open and leaving Matt behind.

 

This time when Ali walks away, she isn’t hurt or angry or upset. She’s said what she needed to and is ready to focus on having a special night with the love of her life. When she re-enters the ballroom, she scans for Ashlyn and finds her swaying sweetly with Kelley on the dance floor. They stand near Ken and Vickie, and appear to be enjoying a little conversation as they dance.

 

“May I cut in?” Ali asks. The woman smiles broadly at her step-daughter and happily steps aside.

 

“You’re not embarrassed to be seen with your old dad?” Ken teases his daughter.

 

“Not when he’s a cool as you.” Ali says with a wink.

 

Ashlyn whispers in Kelley’s ear, who then excuses herself. Ashlyn holds her hand out to Vickie who accepts it. Ali notices the gesture and can’t contain her smile. It means a lot to her that Ashlyn always tries to be kind to the people who are important in Ali’s life. But more than that, it means a lot to Ali that it never feels forced or like it’s something she’s doing just to score points. Ashlyn genuinely wants to see the best in everyone and make sure that they feel cared about.

 

When the song ends and the music picks up, Ken and Vickie move on, and Ali and Ashlyn take the opportunity the close the distance that had unfortunately arisen between them. Not another minute goes by that night where one of them isn’t touching the other. Whether their bodies are pressed together while moving to the music, or their hands are clasped, fingers intertwined, a hand on her back or waist, a hand wrapped around her bicep, or resting on her thigh. The rest of the night is perfect, and no one even notices when Matt slinks out of the room well before midnight.

 

A quarter till midnight the wait staff starts passing out glasses of champagne. The evening’s hosts take the stage one last time to thank everyone for attending, make a few closing remarks, announce the grand prize winners for a Caribbean vacation and a new car, and let everyone know that the dessert bar was now open. Ashlyn and Ali stand amongst their friends, counting down to midnight with the rest of the room. When they finally hit one, balloons and confetti fall from the ceiling, while the band begins to play “Auld Lang Syne” and everyone around them cheers. Ashlyn wraps her arms low around Ali’s waist and looks deeply into her eyes, pulling her in close. Ali presses her lips to Ashlyn’s and Ashlyn immediately kisses her back. The kiss starts out slow and romantic but quickly changes as Ali feels Ashlyn’s hand move to the warm skin of her back. Ali runs her hand up the back of Ashlyn’s neck and into her hair as Ashlyn’s tongue asks for entrance. Pretty soon the pair are sharing a steamy kiss, the kind that definitely shouldn’t take place in public. Alex, Servando and Kelley start whistling and cheering, with even Becky and her boyfriend joining in when it seems Ali and Ashlyn haven’t noticed. Kyle watches the scene before him unfold and begins cackling, while Ali and Ashlyn remain blissfully unaware until they hear a man clear his throat beside them.

 

“ _Fuck_.” Ashlyn mutters under her breath. She doesn’t need to turn, or even open her eyes, to know who is standing there.

 

“Happy New Year, Dad.” Ali squeaks out, wiping at the surely-smeared lipstick on her mouth.

 

“Happy New Year, Alex.” The man’s face is set with a stern look, but there is a glimmer of humor in his eye.

 

“Ashlyn.” He nods at the short-haired brunette, whose face is turning redder by the second.

 

“Happy New Year, sir.” She nods back.

 

“Vickie and I are on our way out. I just wanted to come say goodnight.” Ken says.

 

Ali kisses the man on the cheek before muttering a quiet goodnight.

 

“Goodnight, Dr. Krieger.” Ashlyn says extending her hand. Ken takes it and looks her right in the eye. “Thank you for the ticket, sir. It was a lovely event.” Ashlyn practically chokes out.

 

“Certainly seems you two enjoyed yourselves.” Ken replies with a wink, finally letting his subtle smirk break free.

 

He pats Ashlyn on the shoulder, and kisses the top of Ali’s head before turning to leave.

 

Kyle and Kelley are wiping at literal tears while the others continue to laugh at Ali and Ashlyn’s expense.

 

“Oh my God!” Kelley laughs out, barely audible. “You should have seen your face, Ash!” Kelley tries to imitate it but she’s still laughing too hard to be successful.

 

“Ali’s voice!” Alex adds with a laugh of her own.

 

Ashlyn groans.

 

“I’m pretty sure he thought we were drunk.” Ali states.

 

“I don’t know if that’s better or worse.” Ashlyn grumbles.

 

“I cannot believe you two just got caught making out by Ali’s dad.” Becky says in amused wonderment. She’s truly amazed that two full-grown adults managed to get themselves in that situation.

 

“Teenagers, I’m telling you.” Alex shakes her head in mock-disapproval.

 

After everyone recovers from the embarrassing -or hilarious- moment, the evening begins to wind down. The band announces their last few songs, everyone is reminded to pay for their silent auction items, and friends begin to leave. Becky and her boyfriend share an Uber with Alex and Servando after becoming fast friends over the course of the evening. Kelley and a reluctant Kyle go to Kelley’s for a “sleepover” where Kyle will insist on building a blanket fort and force them both to sleep on the floor.

 

“You want to hit the dessert bar before we go?” Ashlyn asks.

 

Ali responds by grabbing Ashlyn’s face and pulling her in for a kiss.

 

“I think I’ll have dessert at home.” She whispers suggestively against Ashlyn’s lips.

 

Ashlyn kisses her back. “God I hope you don’t mean ice cream.”

 

Ali giggles and starts to pull Ashlyn towards the lobby.

 

“Wait,” Ash stops her. “I have to stop over at the auction table and pay for my item.”

 

“What item?” Ali asks. She doesn’t remember Ashlyn bidding on anything when they had walked through the auction tables earlier that night.

 

“It’s a surprise.” Ashlyn says with a smug smirk as she walks backwards away from Ali.

 

“This again.” Ali says with an exaggerated eye-roll. “I’ll meet you at coat check.”

 

Ali heads into the lobby while Ashlyn walks over to the woman sitting at the auction winnings table. She hands over her bidder number, credit card, and ID.

 

“Congratulations, Ms. Harris!” The older woman says. “And thank you so much for your support.”

 

“It’s really a win-win. I can help a good cause, and surprise my girlfriend.” She says with a grin.

 

“Well this will be quite the surprise! Here is your receipt and information on how to redeem and schedule everything. If you have any questions, or issues, you can call the number on the inside of the envelope.” The woman says handing her the items.

 

Ashlyn takes them and tucks the envelope into the inside pocket of her jacket.

 

“Thank you. Have a good night.” Ashlyn says before turning to go find Ali.

 

“I hope you and your girlfriend have a wonderful time!” The older woman calls after her.

 

By the time Ali and Ashlyn reach Ali’s apartment, Ali has taken her hair down. Her dark hair now cascading is loose, messy curls over her shoulders. She put the hair tie that had helped keep her bun in place, around her wrist, but the bobby pins had somehow ended up in Ashlyn’s coat pocket. Ashlyn lays her coat and suit jacket over the back of the couch and slides of her shoes, placing both her own shoes and the heels Ali had discarded on the floor by the breakfast bar, on the rack by the door. When Ashlyn walks into the kitchen, she finds Ali in the freezer.

 

“Cookie dough or mint chocolate chip?” Ali asks holding up a carton of ice cream.

 

“Ohhh, so she thinks she’s cute huh?” Ashlyn says, approaching.

 

“That’s what all the girls tell me.” Ali says closing the freezer and opening a drawer to withdraw a spoon.

 

Ashlyn walks up to Ali and grabs her by the waist, lifting her up on the kitchen counter. Ali laughs at the surprise action, and scoots herself back a little, parting her legs so Ashlyn can stand between them. Ali’s right leg is expose up to the thigh as the slit in the dress falls around it. Ashlyn runs her hand up Ali’s leg as far as she can, and sets to work nibbling and kissing up and down Ali’s neck, her jaw, behind her ear. Ali has set the carton of ice cream beside her on the counter and managed to get the lid off with one hand, as the other is on the back of Ashlyn’s neck. She tilts her head to the side to give Ashlyn more room, as she digs the spoon into the ice cream and takes a bite. Ashlyn continues her work on Ali’s neck and when she finds the right spot, Ali lets out a little moan.

 

“What was that?” Ashlyn asks, the smug look on her face apparent in her voice.

 

“This ice cream is delicious.” Ali responds, taking another bite.

 

Wordlessly, Ashlyn puts a hand on either hip and pulls Ali further into her with force. She stares directly into Ali’s eye, the look of intensity so great that she quickly swallows her bite, just in time for Ashlyn to press a searing kiss to her lips. Every moment of want and desire between them conveyed in this one kiss. Ali drops her spoon and when Ashlyn hears it clatter onto the counter, she pulls away. Ali can hardly breathe. Ashlyn puts the lid on the ice cream and practically throws it in the freezer before lifting Ali from the counter and leading her to the bedroom.

 

They stand in the middle of the room, as Ali begins to slowly undress Ashlyn. She starts with her tie, then moves to the buttons of her shirt. She never breaks eye contact as she slides the shirt over her shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. She reaches for the button on her pants.

 

“I’ve dreamt about this.” Ali whispers. “About undressing you.”

 

“Looks like your dream is coming true.” Ashlyn smirks as she steps out of her pants.

 

Ali pulls the undershirt Ashlyn is wearing over her head and drops it to the floor, leaving Ashlyn standing in only her bra and underwear.

 

“I’ve had other dreams.” Ali says suggestively, her voice low.

 

“Tell me about them.” Ashlyn says turning Ali around so she now stands behind her. She unhooks the back of Ali’s dress.

 

“I’ll show you.” Ali whispers back.

 

Ali lets the short sleeves of her dress fall forward shimmies out of them. Ashlyn reaches for the hidden zipper on the side of the skirt and pulls it down. Ali holds the top of her dress up as the skirt starts to fall lower, exposing more of her skin, and revealing her lack of undergarments. She turns in Ashlyn’s arms and locks eyes with her again, then drops her arm, allowing her beautiful gown to fall to the floor around her. As Ali now stands before Ashlyn, completely naked, Ashlyn finds herself overwhelmed. She thinks Ali is the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen. Every limb, every curve, every inch of her, leaving Ashlyn in complete awe.

 

Ali laughs lightly at the dazed look on Ashlyn’s face. She watches her eyes trail over her body, her face reverent. She steps closer to Ashlyn and hooks her thumbs into her underwear and tugs them down. Ashlyn reaches to pull her own bra off, her eyes still glued to Ali.

 

“Ashlyn.” Ali says quietly.

 

“Yeah.” Ashlyn breathes out.

 

Ali brings her lips right to Ashlyn’s ear, her breath hot against it.

 

“I’m going to fuck you now.”

 

Ashlyn can only nod. Ali rakes her eyes over Ashlyn’s naked form as she walks her backwards to the bed. She pushes her back on to it, and Ashlyn quickly moves so she’s laying down. No sooner has her head hit the pillow, does Ali climb on top of the beautiful, tattoo-clad woman, straddling her hips. Ashlyn gasps at the feeling of Ali’s skin meeting her own.

 

Ali’s bed is pushed directly below the window, so Ashlyn takes in the sight of bright moonlight and streetlamp glow as it illuminates Ali sitting atop her. While the room is dark, the light cascading through the window provides both women a perfect view of their love. Ali kisses Ashlyn aggressively, starting with her mouth, tongues swirling, before moving down to her neck, her shoulders, her chest. She moves to her breasts, running her tongue over each hardened peak, then trailing open-mouthed kisses downward. Ali is about to change her position so she can continue her way down Ashlyn’s stomach and to her hips, when she stops rather abruptly. She sits up and pulls the hair tie from her wrist, and throws her hair up into a messy ponytail. Ashlyn studies her every movement.

 

When Ali is done, she gives Ashlyn a devilish grin as she resumes her journey down her lover’s body. She discovers the definition of her stomach with her tongue, continuing her descent, stopping to suck lightly on her hip bones. Finally, she reaches her goal, gently kissing her way lower, as she pushes Ashlyn’s legs open. Ashlyn bends her knees as Ali settles between her legs. She starts with long, slow, strokes of her tongue against Ashlyn’s clit. Her movements are deliberate and controlled. Ashlyn’s breathing gets heavier, and small gasps and moans escape her lips as Ali carefully worships her. After a few moments, Ali increases the speed and pattern of her movements until she can feel Ashlyn begin to squirm above her. She sucks her clit into her mouth and, without warning, plunges two fingers into her.

 

“ _Fuck_.” Ashlyn gasps. “ _Please, Al_.”

 

Again, Ali begins with slower, deliberate movements, pumping into Ashlyn at an almost aggravating speed. A few moments of this and she picks up her pace, using both her tongue and her fingers to send Ashlyn over the edge. Ali can feel Ashlyn begin to tremble, her knees shaking, as her gasps and moans get louder, mixed with reverent expletives. She comes hard with Ali’s name tumbling from her lips.

 

Ali moves back up Ashlyn’s body, giving her a sweet kiss. Ashlyn can taste herself on Ali’s lips. Ali lays her head on Ashlyn’s chest to hear her pounding heart as she continues to come down from her high. After a few minutes, Ashlyn rolls Ali onto her back and kisses her passionately. Ali runs her hands through Ashlyn’s hair, hungry to be closer, to have more of her. When Ashlyn can sense that Ali needs more, she moves lower, sucking a pert nipple into her mouth, running her tongue around it before biting down lightly. Ali involuntarily arches her back at the sensation. After providing the same treatment to her other nipple, Ashlyn moves lower, between Ali’s legs. She moves her tongue is rapid patterns over Ali’s clit until she can feel her writhing against her. Then she finds Ali’s entrance and slides her tongue inside her. She moves in and out of her a few beats, before bringing her thumb back to Ali’s clit to rub slow circles while she continues to move her tongue inside her. Ali’s legs are shaking, her hand gripping Ashlyn’s hair as she moans in pleasure. Ashlyn can tell she is close when she feels her walls tightening. Just as she’s about to bring her to her peak, Ashlyn feels Ali tug her hair to get her to look up at her. She stops and meets her eyes, reading them to see if everything is alright.

 

“Come up here.” Ali hardly gets out through her ragged breathing. “I want to see you when I come.”

 

Ashlyn moves up Ali’s perfect form, resting against an elbow so she hovers slightly over her girlfriend. She meets her eyes and looks deeply into them as she moves a hand between Ali’s legs. She strokes her again, alternating pressure, until she can feel Ali beginning to shake once more. She enters her with two fingers and moves in and out of her quickly, again feeling her start to tighten around her. And again she is stopped suddenly when Ali reaches for her wrist to still her.

 

“Wait.”

 

“Are you okay?” Ashlyn asks gently. The look of tenderness on her face almost makes Ali want to cry.

 

She nods yes.

 

“I don’t want it to be over yet.” Ali says breathily.

 

Ashlyn kisses her.

 

“Whatever you want.” She says in earnest.

 

Ashlyn stops her motions and removes her fingers. She again rubs slow circles, keeping her pressure light, wanting to give Ali exactly what she wants.

 

But Ashlyn’s attentiveness and sincerity only push Ali closer to coming undone. When she can’t stand it any longer, she grabs Ashlyn’s wrist yet again and guides her to her entrance. Ashlyn gets the idea and pushes into her as Ali unravels. Ashlyn stares deep into her eyes as she comes, which only intensifies the experience for Ali.

 

“Oh fuck!” Ali moans loudly. “Ashlyn!”

 

And as she finally reaches the other side, “I love you,” she pants out.

 

"I love you too."

 

They lay together for a long while, Ali’s chest heaving, while her world spins. When she’s finally settled, Ashlyn gets up and walks out of the room. Ali is confused, but not worried. She knows Ashlyn isn’t leaving her now. At least not without putting some clothes on first.

 

Ashlyn returns a minute later with the carton of ice cream and two spoons. The pair lay together in silence, naked, eating their ice cream, for several long minutes. Finally, Ali breaks the silence.

 

“It’s never felt like that before.” She says quietly. She feels vulnerable, but also like she’s never been closer to Ashlyn before. She knows she’s safe.

 

“ _I’ve_ never felt like that before.” Ali adds.

 

“Well, I hear I’m _very_ good at what I do.” Ashlyn teases.

 

“I won’t argue with that.” Ali grins. “but you know that’s not what I mean.”

 

“I know.” Ashlyn kisses the top of her head.

 

“It’s never felt so...” Ali pauses to think a moment. “Intense.”

 

She pauses again and then adds, “important.”

 

“I feel the same way.” Ashlyn agrees. “I’ve never felt for anyone, what I feel for you. It’s like everything is brand new with you. It doesn’t matter if it’s going to the movies or eating ice cream in bed. It’s like experiencing everything for the first time.” Ashlyn muses.

 

“You’re such a sap.” Ali says with a mile-wide smile.

 

“The things you do to me, Krieger.” Ashlyn replies.

 

“Oh, and the things I’m _going_ to do to you, Harris.” Ali says moving the empty ice cream carton and crawling on top of Ashlyn again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? Feelings? Questions? Favorite parts? I really appreciate your feedback! 
> 
> I have to admit I was really nervous to post this one, so I really, truly hope it's not a let down for anyone. But if it was, please let me know why so I can try and improve. 
> 
> Thank you!!!


	25. He Doesn't Even Know What Pants Are

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel compelled to provide a bit of a disclaimer as we move forward. I've decided to let this new professional team be the Pride and the town be Orlando. It's obviously what it's based off of, but it's still a fictional team, and a fictional league, so if you're reading something and thinking "that's not how that works!" then you're probably correct. But things work a little differently in this world so lets try and hold onto that suspension of disbelief if we can. 
> 
> Thanks for all the nice comments on the previous chapter! You all eased my mind. And for those curious...Ali was eating cookie dough in the kitchen, but Ashlyn grabbed mint chocolate chip for ice cream in bed.

Ashlyn and Ali are fast asleep, limbs entangled, Ali’s hair draped over Ashlyn’s face, as the winter sunlight washes over them through the window. Ashlyn hears a muffled, musical sound and as she begins to slowly find consciousness, the sound stops. She’s about to drift back to dreamland when the sound starts again, and this time she’s much quicker to identify it.

 

“Why?” Ali grumbles as Ashlyn slips out of her grasp.

 

Ali rolls over and opens her eyes, watching her very naked girlfriend grab the pants she wore last night from the pile on the floor and reach into the pocket.

 

“Morning, Kyle.” She answers her phone, her voice still thick with sleep.

 

“Oh you were sleeping, thank _God_.” Kyle sighs in relief.

 

“Of course we were sleeping, what else—oh geez! Never mind.” Ashlyn says realizing his implication.

 

“Look, I called my sister five times this morning which would normally be enough to wake her so forgive me if I thought you two might be…preoccupied.” Kyle retorts.

 

“Your phone must still be in the kitchen or something.” Ashlyn directs at Ali.

 

“It’s in your jacket pocket.” Ali replies.

 

“Does your coat not have pockets?!”

 

“It does. But they aren’t as functional as yours.” Ali says, shrugging.

 

“Helloooo!” Kyle says from the other end of the line. “Sorry to interrupt your conversation but I called for a reason.”

 

“Sorry.” Ashlyn laughs. “What can I do for you?”

 

“Well the incomparable Kelley O’Hara has given _minutes_ of her time this morning to find us somewhere open on this fine New Year’s Day to have brunch. We’re meeting in an hour. Tell Ali I’m texting her the address.” Kyle sounds a little too mischievous for saying something so innocent.

 

“Okay.” Ashlyn responds skeptically.

 

“See you soon!” Kyle chirps.

 

“Should I text Alex and Serv?”

 

“Kelley already took care of it. You just worry about getting your butt out of bed!”

 

“Whatever.” Ashlyn says playfully. “See you there.”

 

After she ends the call, Ashlyn turns back to Ali who is still watching Ashlyn carefully, with a smug look on her face.

 

“This look really works for you.” Ali says.

 

“Oh yeah? Should I wear it to brunch?”

 

“Hmm.” Ali pretends to think about it. “It might be distracting to the other patrons.”

 

“Good point. Guess I’ll have to wear clothes.”

 

“Disappointing, but I understand.” Ali plays back. “So we’re going to brunch?”

 

“Yep. Kyle said to meet them in an hour. He’s texting you the address.”

 

“Why didn’t he just text to you, if he called you?”

 

“I don’t know. Why does Kyle do anything?”

 

“Usually to torment me in some way.” Ali says getting out of bed and pulling on a t-shirt and shorts. “Wonder what he’s up to this time.”

 

“Did you know Kelley and Alex text now? Is this Kelley-Alex friendship a good idea?”

 

“Probably not.”

 

Ashlyn kisses Ali good morning before following her out of the bedroom. Ashlyn heads down the hallway.

 

“I’m going to take a quick shower.”

 

“I’m going to make coffee.”

 

“Aren’t we going to have coffee at brunch?”

 

“It’s pre-coffee coffee. Do not question me on this.”

 

“Got it.” Ashlyn nods.

 

She steps into the bathroom and turns the water on when she realizes something.

 

“Hey Al?” Ashlyn calls, poking her head out of the bathroom.

 

“Yeah, babe?” Ali asks back, taking a bag of coffee beans from the cupboard.

 

“I didn’t really plan this very well. I didn’t bring a change of clothes with me.”

 

“Don’t worry, I found some of your stuff doing the laundry the other day. I’ll put it on the bed.”

 

“You’re the best!” Ashlyn says before closing the door.

 

When Ashlyn emerges from the bathroom, wrapped in a towel, her damp hair combed back, but not yet styled, she’s greeted by Ali and a cup of coffee.

 

Ashlyn takes a long sip and lets out a happy sigh.

 

“Mmm.” She smiles at Ali. “Let’s skip brunch and stay here. I won’t put on any more than this towel and you can get out of those shorts.” Ashlyn suggests, snapping the waistband of Ali’s cotton shorts.

 

“As lovely as that sounds,” Ali pauses to kiss Ashlyn. “Kyle is staying here the next few days whether we brunch or not so clothing isn’t really optional.”

 

“I beg to differ. I follow him on Instagram. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even know what pants are.”

 

“Okay, but I promise you won’t be able to enjoy it the same way with Kyle here.”

 

“Fine.” Ashlyn whines. “We’ll go to brunch.” She takes another sip of her coffee. “Where are we going anyway?”

 

“Oh shit.” Ali giggles. “I forgot to check my phone. I was distracted by coffee.”

 

Ashlyn heads into the bedroom to find a pair of jeans and a moss green t-shirt laid on the bed and starts getting dressed, while Ali picks up Ashlyn’s suit jacket from the back of the couch and starts feeling around to find which pocket she snuck her phone in last night. When she reaches in to pull out her phone she feels something else. When she removes the phone and sticks her hand back in to see what had poked her hand, she finds it empty, but realizes that there is something with a pointed corner in the inside pocket of the jacket. She pulls out the envelope that Ashlyn received from her auction winning last night and opens it up. She reads the paper and lets out a gasp.

 

“Ash!” Ali yells.

 

Ashlyn hurries into the room, buttoning her pants.

 

“What’s wrong? What happened?” Ashlyn asks, concerned. She’s distracted, adjusting her jeans several times. “Remind me to leave underwear here next time.”

 

Ali ignores the comment.

 

“What is this?” She holds up the envelope.

 

“You snoop!”

 

“I was looking for my phone!”

 

“Uh-huh.” Ashlyn says with an eye-roll.

 

“I was! I just happened to notice there was something in your inside pocket and I was curious!”

 

“That,” Ashlyn says taking the paper from Ali, “was going to be your Valentine’s Day gift.”

 

“Oh.” Ali nods casually. Then, “Oh!” She says more alarmed this time. “I ruined it!”

 

“It’s okay, Al.” Ashlyn says reassuringly. “You didn’t ruin anything. You know I wouldn’t have been able to keep it a secret that long. Maybe we can go for Valentine’s Day?!”

 

“A three-night stay in a mountain cabin in Oregon does sound awfully romantic.”

 

Ashlyn grins.

 

“But probably not very practical.” Ali continues. “That’s right before tryouts and we’ll need to be really focused. And it’s on the other side of the country so you have to add in travel days.”

 

“Okay, what about a delayed Valentine’s trip then? We’ll go the weekend after tryouts. That way we can either celebrate, or drown our sorrows in hot toddies by the fireplace.”

 

“We could. Or we could go in October.” Ali suggests.

 

“Why October?”

 

“Well, I know you don’t really like snow and I hear it’s really beautiful in the fall. Instead of suffering through skiing, we could go hiking. Like _real_ hiking. And you know, maybe we’ll be celebrating the end of our first season with the Orlando Pride.”

 

“I’ll talk to Carolyn in a few days.”

 

“Carolyn? Rogers? Like the hospital president?”

 

“Yeah.” Ash nods heading back to the bedroom to get the coffee she abandoned when she heard Ali call her name. “When we were talking last night, she told me she donates a stay at her cabin every year. She’s from Oregon originally and goes back like three times a year. The redemption information in the envelope literally just says ‘Call Carolyn’ and then lists her phone number. Maybe I can even offer to pay for a fourth night so we can have more time.”

 

“I can’t believe we’re going to go on vacation together.” Ali is thrilled.

 

“We won’t be if your brother murders us for skipping out on brunch.” Ashlyn warns.

 

“Weren’t you just trying to skip out on it? But you’re right.” Ali agrees. “I need to shower.”

 

She finally looks at the notifications on her phone and sees all of the missed calls and texts from Kyle. She opens the texts and first sees the address, making a mental note of where it is, and then starts scrolling back farther. That’s when she sees the series of pictures Kyle has sent from the gala last night.

 

“Oh. My. God. He took pictures?! He took pictures!!!”

 

“Who took pictures?” Ashlyn asks. “Kyle?”

 

“Yes, Kyle!” Ali says, outraged.

 

“From last night? What am I missing? Why are we angry?”

 

Ali hands the phone over to Ashlyn to see. The first picture is of Ali and Ashlyn during their little make-out session on the dance floor. Ashlyn smirks as she examines it.

 

“We look good together.”

 

“That isn’t the point, Ashlyn.” Ali says, exasperated.

 

She reaches forward and swipes to the next picture. It’s a little blurry as it as clearly taken while Kyle was in a fit of laughter. In this picture, Ashlyn and Ali are still very much engaged with each other, but Ken Krieger is approaching them. The final picture, also rather blurry and taken from behind Ken, contains Ali and Ashlyn’s horrified expressions as they desperately avoid eye-contact with the man in front of them.

 

“Annnnd I see your point. Wow I really didn’t want to relive that.” Ashlyn shudders.

 

“Kyle’s probably going to show up at our next family dinner with those printed on a t-shirt.”

 

“Oh, so printing embarrassing photos on t-shirts and, say, coffee mugs, must run in the family then.”

 

“Watch it. Or I’ll print all of your ugly snapchat selfies in a 12-month wall calendar and gift it to everyone we know.”

 

“You’re too cute to be this cruel.”

 

Ali presses a light kiss to Ashlyn’s lips. "So are you still going to get me a Valentine's Day present?" Ali asks. She's joking. Sort of. Ashlyn rolls her eyes again, and smacks Ali on the ass she she scampers off to take a shower.

 

Because they had taken an Uber to and from the gala last night, Ashlyn didn’t have her jeep, so Ali drives them to the restaurant. Ashlyn likes driving, but she was enjoying riding passenger, singing along to the radio and serenading Ali. She keeps a hand on her thigh, and kisses her at red lights. The events of the night before had only brought them closer together. They both had expected the tension between them to dissipate once they finally experienced each other in the fullest extent, yet they both woke up this morning feeling like everything had only intensified. Instead of imagining what it might be like, they know what it _is_ like, and the memories are quite enticing.

 

When they arrive at the restaurant, Kelley, Kyle, Alex, and Servando are already there and sitting at a table. Ashlyn and Ali spot them from the doorway and go to join them, Ashlyn’s arm low around Ali’s waist. Ali pretends to scold Ashlyn whenever her hand drops a little too low to be decent in public, but she doesn’t mean it. In fact, she not-so-secretly loves it. As they reach the table, Kelley begins a slow clap, rising from her seat as she does. Alex joins her in both clapping and standing, while Servando and Kyle remain seated, but join in with their own applause.

 

“I told you we shouldn’t let them be friends.” Ashlyn says, pulling Ali’s chair out for her.

 

“You’re all terrible.” Ali says sitting down, shooting a playful glare at both Alex and Kelley.

 

“Aww, don’t be mad.” Kelley says coming around the other side of the table to hug Ali. “We tease because we love.” She drapes her arms over Ali’s shoulder from behind her.

 

“You better.” Ali grumbles.

 

As Kelley moves to stand up fully, she yanks down on the side of the scarf elegantly wrapped around Ali’s neck.

 

“We have a hickey, ladies and gentlemen! Pay up!” Kelley announces to the table.

 

Alex, Kyle, and Servando all groan and each slap a five-dollar bill at Kelley’s place setting.

 

“Ugh!” Ali scoffs indignantly while readjusting her scarf “You bet on me?!”

 

“These fools,” Kelley gestures to their friends across the table, “thought you’d be too careful to let that one” She points a thumb at Ash, “leave a mark on you.”

 

“Okay, not that I condone any of this,” Ash starts, “But how on earth did you lose this bet, Alex? You’ve been calling us a couple of high-schoolers for months. Isn’t a poorly hidden hickey sort of a classic move?”

 

 

“That’s exactly why though! I thought my comments would have gotten to Ali by now!”

 

“It wasn’t poorly hidden until Kelley got involved.” Ali says with a glare.

 

“And I told her,” Kelley chimes in, “that you two were way into that whole withholding sex game you were playing and that when the time came, Ali’s judgement would be out the window.”

 

Ali’s cheeks flush. Ashlyn wraps an arm around her shoulder, while trying to stifle a laugh.

 

“And what?” Ali asks, still offended, “You didn’t make any bets on Ash? What about her hickeys?!”

 

“We it’s pretty obvious she doesn’t have any.” Kelley says.

 

“Not that you can see.” Ash mumbles with a smirk.

 

“Ha!” Kyle laughs out. “I told you my sister’s a freak!” Kyle cackles. “I’ll be taking that back thank you.” He says snatching a five back from Kelley, who crosses her arms and pouts.

 

“Nothing about this is healthy or normal.” Alex states as she and Servando both hand over another five to Kyle.

 

“Agreed.” Ali and Ashlyn say at the same time.

 

The table erupts with laughter as their server comes to take their orders. The girls order mimosas while the guys stick with water, and they all ask for a few more minutes to look over their menus as they had gotten distracted previously. The new closeness between Ashlyn and Ali is apparent to everyone as they sit with Ashlyn’s arm around Ali’s shoulder, and Ali leaning into her. They unnecessarily share a menu, and spend a good amount of time talking quietly to the other, their faces close, hands intertwined, until Alex threatens to make Ashlyn trade seats with her.

 

Once they’ve finally ordered, they all settle back and fall into easy conversation with one another. The topic of the impending tryouts comes up, and Ali, Alex, and Ashlyn discuss their plans for changes in their training as well as not allowing themselves to cheat on their diets anymore now that the holidays are over.

 

“I mean, after this meal obviously.” Ashlyn says.

 

“We start tomorrow.” Ali agrees. “In fact, we’ve got big plans this afternoon to go to the store and do a ton of meal prep.”

 

“Same.” Alex replies. “You were a little busy with Ali being sick this week but did you catch up on everything going on with the league and the new team?”

 

“You mean the news that they made an _insane_ trade with Portland to get Allie Long? I mean she’ll be an asset to the team I’m sure, but they don’t have much leverage left at this point.” Ashlyn says.

 

“Allie is great. She's a little out there, but in a good way. We've played together a lot and I think she'll be great for the team. But that trade was something else. They made some other interesting trades as well. Its left several roster spots open. They’re definitely looking to sign more players, maybe even in starting positions, and they aren’t in a position to shy away from looking at amateurs as contenders. Honestly it’s good news for both of you. They only have one keeper right now and the backline needs work.” Alex explains.

 

“Won’t they be getting some international players?” Ali asks.

 

“Yeah, but they have only so many spots and good is good. And _you_ are good.”

 

“Speaking of good, let’s talk about you. The buzz online is all about how the Pride signed a big name midfielder instead of a forward. There’s a lot of speculation…” Ali leads.

 

“I guess this is as good a time as any to tell you that they’re going to sign me. The Pride, I mean. They’ll release it next week and I’ll go in and make it official.” Alex announces to the group.

 

No one is really surprised, but everyone is happy. Ali and Ashlyn both suspected things were in the works for Alex when she decided to stay in Orlando and buy a house instead of sign with another team. They knew that if something was going on, there was a chance Alex couldn’t talk about any of it. They were thrilled for their friend, and both only felt the fire to succeed themselves burn brighter within them.

 

“So all this training for tryouts has just been bullshit?” Ash laughs.

 

“Not exactly.” Alex defends her lies. “I’ve actually been following a program from their trainers. You know, taking a season off is complicated and I needed to stay fit. I would have told you but they were really clear that I needed to keep this quiet.”

 

“Wait, so how does all of this work exactly?” Kyle asks, feeling just a little out of the loop.

 

“Alex graduated last May and wanted to play internationally before joining the league so she decided not to go through the league draft and take a contract in France. Only that contract fell through which meant the season started and no team held her rights.” Ali explains.

 

“Right.” Alex confirms. “And when the league found out I was available, I started getting offers from teams wanting me to sign with them. I very nearly did with Portland. But I was also approached by someone from the Orlando club, who knew I’d ideally like to stay here and said they were going to have a women’s team by next year and they’d sign me if I was willing to wait.”

 

“And you didn’t want to sign with someone else in the meantime because then they’d hold your rights and you couldn’t guarantee a trade.” Kyle adds to confirm.

 

“Exactly. Plus it would be doing a huge favor for the team because then they don’t have to give anything up for me. It was a win-win for both of us.”

 

“And the league is cool with this?” Kelley asks.

 

“Not exactly.” Alex responds. “It’s one of the big reasons I couldn’t talk about it. We’re not technically breaking any rules but it’s frowned upon. US Soccer hasn’t called me up with the senior national team since last spring because they were trying to pressure me into signing with somebody.”

 

“Well I’m glad you’re doing what’s right for you. And you’re way too good of a player for US Soccer to ignore you for too long.” Ashlyn reassures.

 

“If I didn’t want to make it on this team before, I definitely do now.” Ali says wistfully.

 

Suddenly, there is a high-pitched shriek from across the restaurant.

 

“AL!!!!” A tiny blonde-haired figure races across the room and wraps her tiny arms around Ali.

 

“Abs!!” Ali says with equal enthusiasm. “Fancy meeting you here!”

 

“Hi, Ashlyn!” Abigail greets the woman, leaning across Ali to high-five her.

 

“It’s good to see you again, Abigail.” Ashlyn grins at the little girl.

 

“I’m so sorry!” Tasha, Abigail’s mother rushes out, catching up with her little girl. “Apparently she’s got a knack for interrupting.”

 

“She’s not interrupting.” Ali says smiling at Tasha. “We’re happy to see her.”

 

Ali realizes by the black t-shirt and pants, apron, and name tag, that Tasha works at the restaurant. She quickly introduces Tasha and Abigail and how they all know each other.

 

“Come on, Abs. I’m going to get you setup out of the way so I can keep working.” Tasha says with a wave of her arm. She directs her attention to Ali to add a bit sarcastically, “Who knew it was so hard to get a sitter on a holiday!”

 

“I can only imagine.” Ali says sympathetically. “Ash and Alex and I all work in a restaurant and bar near downtown. Can’t beat that holiday pay.”

 

“Seriously.” Tasha agrees. “Luckily my boss is fairly understanding and Abigail is good at keeping herself busy. Not that it happens a lot. You work in a restaurant? What about the soccer academy? I guess with the official business card I just assumed it wasn’t a volunteer thing.”

 

“It was a safe assumption. But sometimes you need two jobs to chase the dream.”

 

“I hear you. I work here and clean houses on the side.”

 

“And what’s the dream you’re chasing?” Ashlyn asks.

 

“I’d like to enroll in a nursing program at the community college I’ve been finishing my degree up at. I might go through a CNA course first so I could maybe get a job where I was getting some experience before clinicals start but I’m not sure.”

 

“Really?” Ali says excitedly. “Kelley is a nurse!” She gestures to Kelley. “And my dad works at St. Mary’s. The three of us should get together sometime for coffee or something. We could talk more about it.”

 

As the words come out of her mouth she realizes that they might come across as pushy or invasive and tries to back pedal.

 

“I mean, if you want to! I’m sorry! You probably don’t want unsolicited advice.” She says shaking her head.

 

“No!” Tasha cuts in. “I’d actually really love that. As long as you don’t mind if this one tags along.” Tasha pulls on Abigail’s braids.

 

“Not at all.” Kelley says.

 

 She could even sit with us now, if you want?” Ashlyn offers. “I mean if you’re cool with that.”

 

“Oh, no. You don’t want a seven-year-old to crash your brunch.” Tasha says shaking her head.

 

“We really don’t mind.” Ali assures, everyone one else nods in agreement.

 

“Pleeeeease?” Abigail asks.

 

“Yeah, pleeeease?” Ashlyn mimics the little girls tone.

 

“If you guys really don’t mind…” Tasha says, not quite convinced they know what their getting into.

 

“They don’t!” Abigail says happily.

 

Tasha grabs an extra chair and Ali pulls it up between her and Ashlyn.

 

“Okay, well, I’ll leave you to it then. I’ll send something over for you to eat, okay, Abs? Be good!”

 

Abigail removes the small green backpack she’s wearing and crawls on her chair. She pulls out some paper and crayons and starts drawing as a server brings over everyone’s food. The group enjoys their meal and everyone finds Abigail to be both charming and hilarious. By the end of the meal she’s in Ashlyn’s lap, coloring together with her, while Ali periodically reminds the girl to stop and have some of the fruit and toast her mom had sent over. As the group finishes up and pays their bills, Tasha comes to retrieve Abigail and thank everyone for keeping her entertained. Tasha and Ali exchange phone numbers and make tentative plans to get together for coffee next week.

 

After brunch, Ashlyn, Ali, and Kyle go grocery shopping and come back to Ali’s place to begin their meal prep. Ali still isn’t the world’s greatest chef, but she’s improved some, and has definitely mastered putting together pre-made or easy to prep foods into balanced meals and snacks. Ashlyn and Kyle enjoy teasing Ali as she bosses them around the kitchen. When they’re done, they settle in for a movie night, all three of them cuddled up in a pile on the couch. Around ten, Ashlyn decides that she should go home and leave Kyle and Ali to their sibling time. Ali hates the idea, but eventually agrees. Kyle excuses himself for a shower, allowing Ali and Ashlyn to say good-bye alone.

 

When Kyle comes back into the living room twenty minutes later, he finds the pair mid make-out on the couch.

 

“You couldn’t have done this in your room?” He says, annoyed.

 

“Oops.” Ali says before going in for yet another kiss.

 

“You can keep it up if you want, but that’s my bed you’re on right now, so I will be making myself comfortable.” He lifts Ashlyn’s outstretched legs and sits down beside them.

 

“Okay.” Ashlyn sighs as Ali sits up on her lap. “I really need to go.”

 

“I’ll drive you home.” Ali offers.

 

“It’s okay. I’ll Uber. You should spend some time with your brother.”

 

“Ugh.” Ali groans. “I lived with him for 17 years, I’ve spent plenty of time with him.”

 

“I’m right here!” Kyle says, offended.

 

“Seriously, Al.” Ashlyn wiggles out from under her and stands up. “I need to go.”

 

“I love you.” Ali says with a pout.

 

“I love you, too.” Ashlyn kisses her forehead.

 

After Ashlyn leaves, and Ali changes into pajamas, she rejoins Kyle on the couch.

 

“So you and Ash seem really happy.” Kyle states.

 

“We are.” Ali says, unable to stop her smile from taking over her whole face.

 

“See? I told you you had nothing to worry about.”

 

“I still sometimes wonder if we’re moving too fast. It has only been a month since we officially started dating. Although I have to admit that I tend to lump it all together, since we met in September. I find I have to remind myself it’s only been one month and not three.”

 

“I don’t think you really have to. You were both in this before you were in it. Maybe view it more as dating versus relationship. Like, you’ve been dating three months and in a relationship for one. What does Ashlyn think about it?”

 

“I actually haven’t asked. Knowing her she’ll probably say something super sappy like she’s been in love with me for an entire lifetime and the timeline doesn’t matter.”

 

“The timeline really doesn’t matter, Alex. It’s just about whether or not you’re happy and content with where you are.”

 

“I am. And I really trust her. It really isn’t so much that I’m afraid that it’s all going to go up in flames or something. I feel like, I don’t know, I guess the best way to describe it is I’m afraid I’m missing out. Not missing out on something or someone else, but missing out on us. I’m really glad we’re where we are right now, but I think one of the reasons I enjoyed our little ‘third date’ game was because it sort of forced us to slow down a little, to enjoy the smaller things. Not to say we were entirely successful but you get my point. I don’t want to look back and feel like I missed anything.”

 

“I get it. It’s easy to feel like your missing the view when you’re going 95 in a 60. If you want to take the backroads, and stop at every single scenic viewpoint then you can do that. It’s your relationship, you’re in the driver’s seat.”

 

“You love a good analogy, don’t you?”

 

“Hey, at least I didn’t use a food analogy. It was either ‘love is a journey’ or ‘a relationship isn’t a slice of cake.’”

 

“So you think I’m being ridiculous?” Ali asks

 

“No, I really don’t. I think it’s been a long time since you let your guard down like this and it’s new and exciting and feels amazing, and as much as you want to believe that it will feel like this forever, life has only ever shown you otherwise. And you know as well as I do that there is no such thing as perfect and there will be challenges and struggles and things to work through, but that doesn’t mean that the way you feel about each other now will disappear. I think there’s a good chance she’ll always make your heart stop with a smile. But you will definitely miss out on things if you spend too much time worrying about missing out on things. No matter how fast or slow you want to take things, just stay present.”

 

 “You’re right. What would I do without you, Ky?”

 

“You’d be a miserable, loveless spinster with parents who always longed for a son.”

 

Ali and Kyle stay up late catching up on each other’s lives, gossiping about their parents, and discussing their favorite shows. Around one in the morning, Ali says goodnight and crawls into her bed. It feels much bigger and unbearably empty without Ashlyn. She drifts in and out of a restless sleep for an hour and a half before she picks up her phone and texts Ashlyn.

 

 **Ali:** This is the worst.

Ali isn’t expecting a response. She assumes Ashlyn is asleep, but a reply comes in almost immediately.

 **Ashlyn:** I miss you too.

 **Ali:** Come back.

 **Ashlyn:** I can come by for coffee in the morning if you want.

 **Ali:** If you come over now, you’ll already be here for coffee in the morning.

 **Ashlyn:** Don’t tempt me.

 **Ali:** I can’t sleep without you.

 **Ashlyn:** I’ll text you when I’m at your front door.

 

In the morning, Kyle is awakened by the sound of coffee brewing.

 

“Music to my ears!” Kyle calls from the couch. “Best sister ever!”

 

“Can you tell that to my brother?” Ashlyn says.

 

Kyle sits up and finds Ashlyn standing in the kitchen, wearing only her underwear and a t-shirt, pouring coffee into three mugs.

 

“Why am I not surprised?” Kyle says rolling his eyes.

 

“What can I say?” Ashlyn asks rhetorically. “We’re better together.” She shrugs and hands Kyle a mug. “First cup is for you, bro.”

 

“Uh-uh.” He shakes his head. “I want that one.” He says pointing to the mug with Prom Queen Ashlyn on the side.

 

“You Kriegers and your love of embarrassing photos.” Ashlyn grumbles handing over the mug.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? Feelings? Favorite parts? Also, if you have any questions because I maybe wasn't clear on something, or didn't state something explicitly and you're curious about it, please feel free to ask! I've got backstory for daaaaays.
> 
> Re: Previous Chapter - is that something you'd like more of moving forward? As I outline future chapters, I want to know what you might be looking forward to, or not looking forward to. I can't make an guarantees but your feedback is a huge help.
> 
> Finally, I'm headed out of town this weekend for a family reunion so I'm going to do my damnedest to get the next chapter up before I leave, but if I can't, I promise I've got more for you soon!


	26. Maybe You Should Stop Showing Off

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back at it! Chapters are just a little slower right now because I've got another story idea boppin' around in my brain so I've been trying to balance keeping up with this without losing all the ideas for the next! 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoy this one!

The rest of Kyle’s visit is great. He and Ali enjoy spending time together, and make sure to visit both sets of parents, having dinner at Ken and Vickie’s as well as making a day trip to Miami to see Debbie and Mike. Kyle loves working out with Ali, Ashlyn and Alex every day, mostly because he’s stronger than them and likes showing them up. Ashlyn takes Kyle to the airport and he very nearly wells up when he realizes how quickly she’s become important to him too.

  
The announcement is made that Alex Morgan is signing with the Orlando Pride and the press has a field day with it. Some remain pretty impartial, mostly discussing what an incredibly talented player she has shown to be and how high the expectations are for her, especially since she took a season off. Other’s call her self-serving and reckless, and question whether or not she’ll be able to live up to the hype. Having played with the senior national team a handful of times, and being such a stand out in college (it is widely believed she would have been the number one pick had she participated in the draft), Her pay scale with the Pride is decent. She hopes to be allocated next year, but for now, with what she’ll make with the team, the sponsorships she in talks with, and Servando’s job, she gives her notice at Astronomy, agreeing to stay on until March.

  
The first couple weeks of January are quiet and focused. Both Ashlyn and Ali balance their day jobs and training and are dedicated to working as hard as they can to be prepared for the tryouts that are inching closer. They anxiously drop off their applications, including the optional video footage and hope that they’re a step above the other applicants so far. One morning, while Ashlyn and Ali are snuggled up together in Ali’s bed, her phone rings.

  
Ali clumsily leans over a sleeping Ashlyn for her phone, and tries her hardest to not sound half asleep when she answers.

  
“Hello?”

  
Ashlyn wakes at the sound of Ali’s voice. She can hear the faint voice on the other end of the line and sees the serious expression on Ali’s face.

  
“Yes it is.”

  
Ashlyn sits up a bit, letting the blankets fall down, exposing her naked upper half. She watches Ali as she continues to listen.

  
“I’m doing very well thank you, and yourself?”

  
Ali is a little distracted by her girlfriend lying beside her, sunlight from the window casting a gentle glow around her. She loves the way Ashlyn is watching her intently. She can’t help but let her eyes wander lower, taking in Ashlyn’s form. This does not go unnoticed and Ashlyn winks at her before giving her a little shimmy. Ali has to move the phone from her mouth as she clasps a hand over it to stifle the laugh.

  
“Oh, yes.” Ali pretends to clear her throat. “I’m fine.” She listens another moment, shooting a glare at a gleeful Ashlyn. “That wouldn’t be a problem at all! I don’t have it on hand at this moment but I could sent it to you if that works?”

  
Another pause.

  
“Let me just grab a pen.”

  
Without being asked, Ashlyn reaches over to the bedside table and grabs a pad of pink post-it notes and a pen, handing them to Ali.  
“I’m ready when you are.”

  
Ali scribbles an email and fax number down, reading them back carefully to confirm.

  
“Thank you so much, I’ll send that information off to you shortly. Thank you again.”

  
She ends the call.

  
“So who was that?” Ashlyn asks casually.  
“That was the assistant coach for the Orlando Pride. And I was about to tell them to throw out your application.” She glares again at her girlfriend.

  
“Maybe you should spend less time gawking when you’re supposed to be on important business calls.”

  
“Maybe you should stop showing off.”

  
Ashlyn responds by holding up an arm and flexing. Ali responds by lifting a leg in the air, knowing how hard it is for Ashlyn to resist touching them. When Ashlyn reaches a hand to run down her leg, Ali drops it and pulls the blanket over it quickly.

  
“I deserved that.” Ashlyn says, disappointed.

“So what did the coach want?” Ashlyn asks remembering the call that just took place.

  
“He wants additional contact information for my club in Germany.”

  
“Really?!” Ashlyn beams at Ali.

  
“Yeah. He didn’t say why but I’m really hoping this is a good thing.”

  
“I think it’s definitely a good thing!” Ashlyn says excitedly, wrapping her arms around Ali and pulling her in close.

  
After Ali and Tashsa exchanged numbers at New Year’s Day brunch, they made plans to get together the following week. Kelley wasn’t able to join them, but Ali and Tasha spent a couple of hours sipping coffee and getting to know each other better. Tasha told Ali about how she’d met the love of her life, Jonah, when she was in college and that they were together for three years when she found out she was pregnant. She had to drop out of school just a year shy of graduation to take care of Abigail. Jonah got a job while finishing his degree and worked hard to support Tasha and Abigail as best he could. It was tough but they loved each other and made it work. But just after Abigail’s third birthday, the unthinkable happened. Jonah died suddenly, unexpectedly, from a brain aneurysm. In addition to suffering an unimaginable loss, Tasha was left to raise a three-year-old on her own, with very little support from their families, and no degree to fall back on.

  
Ali is moved by Tasha’s story and strength and wants to help her in any way she can. One coffee to discuss options for furthering her education, quickly turned into lunch the next week, and pretty soon Tasha and Ali consider each other friends. They finally make plans the last week in January to meet up with Kelley and talk about the nursing program.

  
The day they meet for coffee with Kelley, they decide to meet at Saucer & Spoon so Ashlyn can take Abigail to the park across the way while they chat. Ashlyn is babysitting her nephew that day as well, while her cousin and his wife go house-hunting, as he’s just taken a job in Orlando. Ali and Ashlyn walk into the coffee shop together, Ali carrying a rather disgruntled Jenson who has recently awakened from a nap. He’s got a tiny hand softly stroking the side of Ali’s neck, and his head buried into her shoulder.

  
“Oh my goodness!!” Abigail squeals when she sees the pair with the 18-month old. “I didn’t know you guys had a baby!”

  
Abigail runs to meet her friends.

  
“I prolly shoulda known you’re a mom, Al.” The little girl says, reaching up to pat Jensen on the back. “Cause you give mom hugs and back pats and make me sit on my bottom and use my walking feet and stuff.”

  
Everyone laughs at the little girl’s evaluation as she carries on.

  
“Guess you’re the dad, huh?” She asks Ashlyn. “Last week Ali kept telling you to quit riling me up and my friend Lilly’s mom says the only thing dad’s is good for is riling us kids up.”

  
“Honey,” Tasha says through a laugh. “There isn’t always a mom and dad. Sometimes it’s just moms.”

  
“And as much as I love my little buddy here,” Ashlyn says taking Jenson from Ali. “Jenson is my nephew, not my kid. We’re just looking after him today while his parents take care of some stuff. I was hoping it’d be okay if we all played together at the park?”

  
“Um, that would be _awesome_!” Abigail enthusiastically agrees. “I’m kind of a baby expert so you’ll prolly be really glad to have me around.”

  
“I’m sure I will be.” Ashlyn says smiling down at the little girl and taking her hand. The trio turn to leave but when their a few steps away, Jenson looks back at Ali.

  
“Auntie!” He calls to her. “Coming?” He asks.

  
Ali had been spending more time with the little boy recently, with his parents getting ready for the move and Ashlyn babysitting more often. She’d also joined Ashlyn on another trip home, but he’d never called her ‘auntie’ before. Ali meet’s Ashlyn eyes, and they both look like they’re going to melt.

  
“She’s going to stay here, bubba. But we’ll come back and get her when we’re done playing at the park.” Ashlyn explains.

  
“I’ll see you soon.” Ali says stepping to him and cupping his chubby cheek with her hand.  
As they reach the door, Abigail turns back and waves.

  
“Bye mom! Bye Al! Bye Kelley!”

  
Jenson waves too. “Auntie! Bye! Bye, Auntie!”  
“Auntie?” Kelley asks with raised brows and a little smirk.

  
“He’s never done that before.” Ali beams. “But you know how little kids are. I babysat for a kid when I was in high school who called every sitter ‘Katie’ because that was the name of his regular one. He thought that was what you called people who took care of you who weren’t your parents. I’m sure it’s the same thing.”

  
“It’s still awfully cute.” Tasha adds.

  
“He’s a cute kid.” Ali tries to shrug it off, but she can’t hide the smile.

  
“Aw, Kriegs’ loves it! Look at her blush!”

  
“Okay, okay.” Ali dismisses. “We’re here to talk about Tasha. Not me.”

  
The three order their coffees and set to work, Kelley pulling out some brochures while Tasha opens to a new page in her notebook. The meeting goes well and Tasha is feeling really good about her six-month plan by the time she leaves. Ashlyn returns with both Abigail and Jensen thoroughly riled up.

  
The following Tuesday Ali is surprised to walk into Astronomy and find Alex behind the bar instead of Ashlyn. She looks at her friend in confusion before pulling her phone from her bag and finding two missed calls from her girlfriend. She sees a voice mail and rushes to play it.

  
“Hey babe, it’s me. I had to call Alex to cover for me because I need to go home and help my mom. Give me a call when you get a chance and I’ll explain more. I promise everything is okay. I love you, call me when you can. Bye.”

  
“Hey, Alex, did Ash tell you what was going on?” Ali asks, concerned.

  
“She said she needed to go help her mom, but she was vague. Have you not talked to her?”

  
“Not yet.” Ali says, holding her phone to her ear and listening to it ring.

  
“Hey, Al.” Ashlyn answers. She sounds tired.

  
“Is everything alright? Are you okay?”

  
“Yeah, everything is okay, I’m okay. I’m sorry if I worried you.”

  
“What’s going on, Ash?”

  
“Hold on. Let me step outside.”

  
Ali can hear a door opening, and then Ashlyn calls “I’ll be back in a few minutes, mom” before she hears the door close.  
“Sorry about that.”

  
“It’s okay, babe. Are you sure everything is alright?”

  
“Yeah. I’m positive. Mom’s just having a rough go if it right now. She called me earlier today from the grocery store, absolutely bawling. She was ranting about not being able to choose between paper towel brands and something about coupons. She just got too overwhelmed.”

  
“Oh wow. Is she okay? Do you know what brought this on? She seemed like she was doing so well recently.”

  
“This used to happen all the time. She’d call me sobbing from somewhere, and I’d have to go pick her up and calm her down. She really has been doing a lot better, but we all have bad days, you know? After we had that talk at Christmas, I know she’s really been trying and I don’t think she would have called me today if she didn’t really need me.”

  
“How long ago did you get there?”

  
“Only about a half hour ago. I had Chris go pick her up. We’ve calmed her down for the most part. She’s feeling embarrassed right now and she won’t really sit still, but we’re getting there. I’ll be back tonight.”

  
“Well you do whatever you need to do, okay? Text me if you need anything. I’ve gotta get back to work.”

  
“Yeah, I will. I love you.”

  
“I love you too, Ash.”

  
Ali hangs up, feeling much better about the situation and gets everything ready to start her shift. It’s Tuesday so things are pretty quiet and she enjoys the easy shift. Around nine o’clock a woman about her age comes in. She’s very striking with olive skin and a smattering of freckles across her face. Her hair falls in long, black curls that are clearly natural. Her green eyes are piercing and intense.

  
“Hi, how are you this evening?” Ali greets her.

  
“I…just am.” The woman responds. Her tone isn’t rude, but rather contemplative.

  
“Is it just one tonight or will someone be joining you?”

  
“Just me and my baggage.” The woman cracks a sarcastic smile.

  
“Right this way.” Ali says grabbing a menu and leading the woman to small table by the front window. After she’s seated, she hands her the menu and asks if she can bring her something to drink.

  
“Water and a diet coke.” The woman says without looking away from the menu. “Please.” She adds, finally looking up at Ali.

  
“I’ll be right back.”

  
Ali reaches the bar and asks Alex for the soda while she grabs a water carafe and a glass.  
“This woman over here is really…interesting.” Ali says glancing over at the woman she’s just seated.

  
“Oh shit.” Alex says, shocked. “That’s Casey.”

  
“What?” Ali is confused at first. Then the name clicks. “You mean Ashlyn’s Casey?”

  
“Yeah.” Alex nods. “She didn’t ask about her?”

  
“No, she hasn’t even looked around much. I get the impression she’s in a weird headspace or something.”

  
“Do you want me to take her? We’re not busy and I really don’t mind.”

  
“No, that’s okay. I think it’ll be fine, but I’ll let you know if she gets weird.” Ali says. “Well, weirder.”

  
Ali brings the water and soda over to Casey who is currently staring out the window.

  
“Here you are.” Ali says placing everything on the table. The woman jumps a little. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

  
“That’s okay. I wasn’t paying attention.”

  
“Are you ready to order or would you like some more time?”

  
“No, I’m ready.”

  
Ali takes Casey’s order and then waits by the bar with Alex while the kitchen prepares her meal. She doesn’t have any other customers in her section right now so she just watches the woman as she continues to stare at the window. Periodically she checks her phone before looking annoyed and going back to the window. Casey drinks her diet soda rather quickly and Ali brings her another refill even before her food arrives. She brings her yet another when she’s halfway through her dinner. When she gets back to the bar Alex grabs the empty cup from her and smells it.

  
“What on earth are you doing?!”

  
“She put booze in her drink.” Alex says, annoyed.

  
“What?! When?! I’ve been watching her.”

  
“I saw her do it when you turned around. I thought I noticed her do it earlier but I wasn’t sure. But this time it was pretty obvious.”

  
Ali spins on her heel and marches right back over to the table. Casey had sucked down half of her new drink already.

  
“Excuse me, but you can’t add your own liquor to your drinks to avoid paying. I’m charging you for three rum and cokes!"

  
“No you’re not.” Casey says calmly.

She was right. She wasn’t really going to charge her. But she was mad that she was trying to scam them. Casey pulls out the flask she’d been using and downs the rest of it in front of Ali.

  
Upon closer inspection, Ali can see the woman’s eyes are glassy, and she can smell the alcohol on her from where she stands. They hadn’t spoken much, but she suspects her speech would be slurred if she tried to say more than three-word sentences.

  
“I think it’s time for you to leave.” Ali says sternly.

  
“Are you the girl?”

  
“I don’t know what you mean.”

  
“You’re sleeping with Ashlyn, aren’t you?”

  
Ali scoffs. “You really should stop talking.”  
“Ali.” Casey says her name, but she’s not asking for confirmation.

  
“You need to leave now.” Ali says in an even tone, her face serious.

  
Casey stands and opens her purse, digging around until she finds a couple of twenty dollar bills, much more than her total, and places them on the table. Then she turns and looks right into Ali’s eyes, grinning widely.

  
“Thank you so much, Ali.” Her voice is bright and almost convincingly sincere.

  
Casey throws her purse over her shoulder and heads out the door without looking back. Ali takes the money, and clears the plates before returning to the bar to debrief with Alex.

  
“That is seriously one of the strangest experiences I’ve ever had.” Ali says, a bit stunned over the whole thing.

  
“She didn’t ask if Ashlyn was working or where she was or anything?” Alex can’t quite wrap her head around the exchange either.

  
“Nope. And she hardly spoke to me besides acknowledging that she knows who I am. I can’t figure out what the purpose of her little visit was.”

  
“Maybe she came looking for Ash but didn’t realize she wasn’t here until after she had ordered and didn’t want to just leave.”

  
“Maybe. I don’t know. It felt…intentional. But I don’t really know her.”

  
“She and Ash were always kind of a weird pairing. I mean, she was pleasant enough when she was around us, which wasn’t often. But it never felt like she really wanted to get to know any of us. She preferred to make Ash come to her, and do her activities and stuff. And if they ever fought it was _always_ Ashlyn’s fault. It was actually really frustrating to have a conversation with Ashlyn about it because you’d try and politely point out that maybe Casey was being a little unreasonable or had contributed to the issue in some way and Ash would always say ‘no she’s right’ and have some excuse or reason for why she should take all the blame. I think Casey handled everything in a pretty shitty way, but I’m glad they’re done. Not just because it gave you two a chance either, it just wasn’t a good place for her to be in general.”

  
“Do you think she wants Ash back? Do you think that’s why came here?” Ali asks. She’s not nervous or upset by the thought, she knows it wouldn’t change anything between her and Ashlyn even if that is why Casey showed up.

  
“Honestly? No. I think she would have made that clear if it were the case. Casey’s excuse for what she did was that they weren’t really in love with each other. I know she could have changed her mind, but Ash said Casey seemed really different with this other girl. A type of happy that they were never able to give to each other.”

  
“She told me the same thing. I just can’t figure it out though. Maybe Ash can shed some light on it when she gets home tonight.”

  
“When she gets home, huh?” Alex teases.

  
“I meant home as in Orlando.” Ali tries.

  
“No you didn’t. You meant home as in your apartment.”

  
“I can’t help it. It feels like home. It just feels right when she’s there.”

  
“Have you guys talked about her moving in?”  
Ali bites her lip. It’s another one of those areas of internal conflict for her. She knows what she wants, but she’s afraid of how it looks.

  
“Um, not really.” Ali sighs. “I think we’re okay with how things are. We both currently have leases and sometimes it really is easier to stay at her place. We sort of discussed discussing it when her lease is up.”

  
“You discussed having a discussion? That is the most Ali Krieger thing I have ever heard.” Alex says with a laugh. Ali just shrugs and goes to greet the customers that have just walked in.

  
Around 12:30, Tom tells Ali and Alex that they can leave early as the place is dead. Alex decides to stay and finish stocking, but Ali wouldn’t mind being home when Ashlyn gets in. She makes her way to the parking lot and is headed to her car when she notices someone sitting in the front seat of a car in the lot. The person seems to be drinking straight from a bottle of vodka and it doesn’t take much for Ali to figure out that it’s Casey. She had been feeling guilty that she’d let Casey leave without calling a ride for her first and now that she knows she never left she feels marginally better. Part of her wants to just get in her car and leave Casey drinking alone in the parking lot, but the bigger part of her knows she can’t.

  
She approaches the driver side door and knocks on the window. Casey rolls the window down.

  
“I wasn’t waiting for you.” Casey slurs out. “I know this doesn’t look good but I can’t drive and my phone died.”

  
“You could have come back in and asked for a phone.” Ali says softly.

  
“I was a little busy.” Casey says taking another swig from the bottle in her hand.

  
Ali reaches for the bottle and takes it from Casey’s hand, right as it reaches her lips. It dribbles down her chin and onto her shirt. Ali dumps it upside down and watches as the clear liquid splatters onto the pavement. Casey wears a pained expression, but doesn’t try and stop her.

  
“Come on.” Ali says, opening Casey’s door. “I’ll give you a ride home.”

  
Casey fumbles around trying to gather her phone and her bag. She starts to get out of the car with the keys still in the ignition and the window rolled down. Ali guides her to lean against the side of the car while she sits down in the driver’s seat, rolls the window up, removes the key, closes the door and locks the car.

  
Casey shuffles along behind Ali like a lost child as she leads the way to her car. Ali opens the door for Casey and closes it behind her after she climbed in.

  
“Seatbelt.” Ali reminds gently from behind the wheel. She waits patiently a few moments as Casey struggles to buckle up. Ali eventually gives in and does it for her. Casey mumbles a quiet thank you. She takes Casey’s phone from her hand and connects it to her car charger before handing it back.

  
“Where am I taking you?” Ali asks.

  
“17th and Walker.” Casey says.

  
They drive in silence for several minutes before Ali can’t help herself any longer and has to ask Casey a question.

  
“Why did you come to Astronomy tonight?”

  
“I wanted to see you in person.”

  
“Why?”

  
“I don’t want her back if that’s what you’re really asking.” Casey rolls her eyes.

  
“It wouldn’t matter if you did.” Ali tries keep the bite out of her tone.

  
“Ash is really happy. A lot happier than I ever knew her to be. I hear it from mutual friends and see it on social media. I was just curious.” Casey shrugs.

  
Ali still doesn’t really understand Casey’s motivation but she drops the subject and the pair continue on for another few minutes until Casey gasps.

  
“What?!” Ali asks, alarmed.

  
Casey turns in her seat and looks very seriously at Ali.

  
“Pancakes.” She whispers.

  
“Pancakes?” Ali is absolutely baffled.  
Casey points out the window at a 24-hour diner.

  
“Are you asking to stop for pancakes? Now?”

  
Casey nods vigorously.

Ali isn’t sure why she doesn’t just ignore the drunk girl beside her and take her straight home, but almost without thinking, she’s turning into the parking lot of the diner, while Casey claps her hands excitedly.

  
A middle-aged woman who hates her job seats them at a booth in the back corner. Casey, for some unknown reason, slides in next to Ali instead of across from her. Ali looks at her like she’s lost her mind, but Casey is unfazed as she peruses the menu. Ali scoots closer to the wall.

  
“Can you even read that?” Ali asks, dryly.

  
“It’s got pictures.” Casey says like it’s obvious.

  
The waitress returns with Coffee for Casey and two waters, then takes Casey’s order without so much as a forced smile and is on her way. Ali slides her water over to Casey when she finishes her own.

  
Casey rambles on about breakfast food for a while, spills her coffee twice, and tries to eat a sugar packet before Ali turns on her.

  
“Okay! Enough!” She whisper-shouts. “You’re an adult, Casey! I know you aren’t in your finest form right now, but it’s time to dig deep and find it within yourself to sit still and shut up.”

  
Casey shrinks back and stares at her hands. Ali wants to feel bad but mostly she’s relieved for the few minutes of silence. When the waitress delivers Casey’s food, she instantly forgets that her feelings were hurt and joyfully dives into her meal.

  
A couple of times while she’s eating, Casey mentions Ashlyn. Ali hates it. She hates the way she says her name, she hates the stories that don’t sound anything like her Ashlyn. She hates the way Casey acts so casually about the situation.

  
“Ashlyn loves drunk breakfast.” Casey says around a bite of her pancakes. “I bet you take her out for breakfast at two in the morning and give her your water and think she’s cute even when she’s too loud. You probably cut her waffles up for her too.”

  
“Biscuits and gravy.” Ali mumbles bitterly.

  
“What?”

  
“She wouldn’t order waffles. She’d order biscuits and gravy and she’d complain the whole time that they were nowhere near as good as her Grandma’s but she’d still eat every bite.”

  
Casey looks surprised.

  
“But she doesn’t love drunk breakfast. She loves drunk grilled cheese and she doesn’t get loud when she’s drunk. She gets introspective and thoughtful and mostly just wants to listen to you talk and look into your eyes.”

  
Casey goes to open her mouth to respond but Ali cuts her off.

  
“You should know these things. You dated her a lot longer than I have so far. You should know anything about her really. But this whole time you’ve been talking about her you haven’t said a single thing that shows you really know anything about her.”

  
“What does it really matter, Ali? We weren’t in love with each other. What difference does it make now?”

  
“But she cared about you! She was kind to you! The fact that the two of you were never in love doesn’t give you license to treat her like shit. How could you do that?!”

  
Ali isn’t sure when it happened, but she finds herself angrily wiping away tears while Casey stares at her in shock.

  
“If you think I’m such a horrible person, why are you helping me?” Casey is genuine in her question. Her voice is quiet as she stares down at her plate.

  
“Because Ashlyn would be. She cares about people. And I think you know that. I think you showed up tonight because something happened, I don’t know what exactly but you don’t just guzzle a bottle of vodka, alone, in a parking lot, for fun. So I think something happened and you came looking for the one person who you know will always make you feel better and comfort you, whether you were in love or not, whether you’re together or not.”

  
There is a long, tense pause between them. The waitress comes and clears Casey’s plate and places the paper ticket on the table. Ali hands the woman a twenty before she walks away, adding that she doesn’t need change.

Casey stares at the ceiling.

  
“She cheated on me.” Casey chokes out.

There’s another long pause.

  
“The woman I cheated on Ashlyn with. She did the same thing to me. I was in love with her though. I still am. Karma, right?”

  
“No.” Ali says softly. “I don’t believe in an-eye-for-an-eye. What you did was horrible, but I’m still sorry it happened to you.”

  
“You’re right.”

  
“About what?”

  
“I came looking for Ashlyn because I feel broken and alone and she’s the only person who would still be kind to me after what I did. Even though I did it to her. I should have ended things between us sooner, but it was so hard to let go of someone who cares so effortlessly.”

  
“It wasn’t hard, Casey. It was selfish.”

  
Casey nods.

  
“And it’s not effortless. It takes a lot from Ashlyn to care as much as she does. You took a lot from her and didn’t give anything in return. I hope you never forget what she did for you.”

  
Casey doesn’t say anything else. She slides out of the booth and heads for the door with Ali following close behind. The food and conversation had helped sober her up a little, but not much. Ali places a hand on her back to guide her gently. Once on the road again, they two don’t speak again, but Casey begins to sob, quietly at first, but soon her body is wracked with sobs as she bends over her lap, face in her hands.

  
“I love her.” Casey bawls. “I love her. I deserve this.”

  
Ali knows she doesn’t mean Ashlyn. At the next light, Ali turns around and drives her and Casey back to her own apartment. She helps the inconsolable woman out of the car and up to her apartment. Casey collapses onto the couch as Ali goes to the fridge and grabs four bottles of water and brings them back. She lines them up in front of Casey before opening one and handing it to her. Casey continues to cry as Ali goes to her room to find a change of clothes for her. Ali doesn’t exactly forgive the woman, but she’d softened when she saw the hurt on her face. And although Casey hadn’t done it intentionally, she’d helped Ali tonight as well. She’d come in and helped Ali truly understand that it’s not about how long you’ve known someone, it’s about how well you know them, and how much you love them. All the time she spent wondering if things were moving too fast suddenly seems very silly to Ali.

  
Ali places the clothes on the table by the water before sitting down on the opposite end of the couch. Casey curls up beside her, placing her head in her lap as she continues to sob. It’s about a half hour before Casey finally calms down. Ali leaves her to change as she goes to the bathroom to get a warm washcloth. She carefully wipes Casey’s face with the warm towel, and pulls her hair back into a low pony tail. When Casey is finally settled, Ali crawls into her own bed at three in the morning. She’s too tired to text Ashlyn and explain everything so she just lets her know the door is unlocked and she loves her.

  
Ashlyn makes it home about a half hour later. She creeps into the apartment as quietly as possible. She’s just hung up her jacket when she notices the figure sleeping on the couch. She can’t help but lean in closer to confirm the identity of the sleeping person.

  
Ashlyn slips under the covers and wraps her arms around Ali, who is already moving in closer. Ashlyn kisses the side of her head.

  
“I’m happy you’re here.” Ali mumbles sleepily.

  
“Me too.” Ashlyn whispers back. “Do you want to explain to me why my ex-girlfriend is asleep on your couch?”

  
“I couldn’t get her to stop crying after the pancakes.”

  
Ashlyn lets out a quiet laugh. “I sure hope this makes more sense in the morning.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? Feelings? Favorite parts? What do you think about Casey's reappearance? How do you feel about Ali's reaction?


	27. I'm Trying to Help You Out Here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a minute but we're back! Updates will be a little slower but I'm not abandoning this story, I promise! I'm headed off to celebrate my birthday this weekend, so it'll be late next week/end before I can get another chapter up but it's already in the works.
> 
> Who's ready for a little Valentine's Day fun?!

Ashlyn wasn’t someone who was really into kissing. It was nice for a moment, but sometimes she found it kind of boring and she’d start zoning out if it went on too long.

 

Then she met Ali Krieger.

 

After Ashlyn kissed Ali for the first time, she suddenly found herself wanting to do nothing else. She’d sometimes get distracted at work, staring at Ali from across the room, thinking about how her perfect lips felt on her own. It didn’t always have to be the kind of fiery, passionate kiss that leads to more, she enjoyed soft, little kisses just as much. And good thing for Ashlyn, it seems Ali enjoys kissing her just as much.

 

Ashlyn is awakened with a sweet kiss to her lips followed by little pecks all down her jaw and neck. Morning breath be dammed, Ashlyn pulls Ali on top of her and begins really kissing her. They’re getting rather lost in the moment, both humming in enjoyment, when they hear sounds coming from the kitchen and the realization that they aren’t alone hits them at the same time.

 

Ashlyn pulls away first. Ali lets out a small whine and pouts at her.

 

“I was sort of hoping Casey sleeping on your couch had been a strange dream.” Ashlyn says.

 

“Right.” Ali says sitting up. “About that.”

 

“Yeah. About that.”

 

Ali recounts the tale to Ashlyn, whose face shifts from mildly amused to an expression Ali can’t quite read. She seems conflicted, but the frustration, anger almost, is clear in Ashlyn’s eyes. Ashlyn stands and throws on some clothes before leaving the room rather quickly. Ali scrambles after her, confused.

 

“Are you ready to go?” Ashlyn asks Casey, who is standing in the kitchen. Her tone is even, but cold.

 

Casey sets down her glass of water on the counter. “Oh, um, yeah.” She replies nervously.

 

“Hey, Ash.” Ali says quietly, running her hand up Ashlyn’s shoulder in an attempt to get her to soften.

 

Casey moves into the living room and gathers her things, grabbing her clothes from the night before and heading towards the bathroom to change.   


 

“Hey, don’t worry about the clothes. Your shirt is covered in vodka and maple syrup. Just wear mine home and then drop them by Astronomy sometime or something.” Ali says with a smile.

 

“Are you sure?” Casey can feel Ashlyn’s eyes on her, but she only looks at Ali.

 

“Positive.”

 

“Thanks.” Casey nods.

 

Ashlyn cringes internally. She hates seeing Casey in Ali’s clothes. She stands at the door with her hand on the nob, waiting, as Casey quickly folds her clothes, throws her bag over her shoulder, and slides her shoes on.

 

“Thank you for everything, Ali” Casey says with an awkward hug.

 

“You’re welcome.” Ali nods.

 

“I’ll pick up coffee on my way back.” Ashlyn says as she pulls the door open for Casey.

 

Once they’ve left, Ali curls up on the couch and tries to figure out what just happened. Ashlyn has seemed pretty relaxed about Casey being here when they woke up, but something had changed as Ali had told her all the details. She tries hard to pinpoint the moment she saw the shift in Ashlyn, but isn’t sure. She decides she’ll make them breakfast and they can talk about it when she gets back.

 

Ashlyn and Casey sit in silence for a few moments while Ashlyn tries to collect her thoughts. Casey picks at her nails nervously. She knew well that Ashlyn has a temper, but she also knew that Ashlyn’s number one priority is always to take care of others. She wonders what Ali told her to make her act this way.

 

Finally, Ashlyn lets out a heavy sigh. “You don’t get to show up like this, Casey. You lost that privilege.”

 

“I know.” Casey says, sounding guilty.

 

“You knew even before you showed up that you shouldn’t. You knew someone would take care of you, so even though you know full well that you didn’t deserve it, you took it anyway.”

 

Casey says nothing, she just stares out the window.

 

“It would have been one thing if it had been me. But you don’t get to take advantage of Ali like that.” The anger in Ashlyn’s voice is rising.

 

“I didn’t take advantage of her! She offered to drive me home and she’s the one who took me back to her apartment instead. She didn’t even ask me!” Casey bites back. “I was drunk, and sad, and needed someone and you weren’t there!”

 

“Exactly!” Ashlyn shouts. “You still have it in your head that I should have been. And you felt just fine putting all of your fucked up drama on Ali’s heart because you don’t think you ever have to be responsible for your own feelings.”

 

“I’m sorry.” Casey says quietly.

 

“Are you?” Ashlyn asks.

 

“Yes! I’m sorry that I hurt you and I’m sorry that I showed up last night and I’m sorry that I’m so bad at this! I realized last night, talking to Ali, that I don’t really know you at all. Do you know what it feels like to realize the only person you have to turn to when your heart is breaking is a stranger?!”

 

“In a sense, yeah.” Ashlyn says thoughtfully. The moment she met Ali plays in her mind. A kind stranger with a warm smile had stopped and picked up the fragments of her life and handed them back to her. “You know how they say you don’t know what you have until it’s gone?”

 

Casey nods skeptically.

 

“I had that moment with you, after things ended. I looked back at everything we had shared and I realized it was nothing like I thought it was. I realized it wasn’t what I had ever wanted to begin with. I hope, if you’re able to take something away from this, it’ll be that maybe you learned how to take care of yourself. And if you want people around you to support you, you need to make some better decisions and stop treating people like crap.”

 

Casey rolls her eyes. “You’re so dramatic, Ash. And you’re being awfully harsh towards me given I’m the only reason you even got the girl. Without me, you wouldn’t have had your little love connection with Ali.” She shoots Ashlyn a smug look.

 

Ashlyn lets out a laugh. “No,” she says pulling up behind Casey’s car in the empty parking lot. “If it weren’t for you, I would have been dating Ali three months earlier.”

 

Ashlyn just reaches forward and turns up the radio as she stares straight ahead, waiting for Casey to exit.

 

When Ali hears Ashlyn entering the apartment, she hurries from her bedroom where she had been changing back into the kitchen to greet her. She throws her arms around Ashlyn’s neck leans her head on her shoulder.

 

“I’m so sorry!” Ali rushes out. “I don’t know why I brought her here and I totally understand how that could be really upsetting for you. I was trying to help her but I guess that meant I was overlooking your feelings and I—“

 

“Hey.” Ashlyn says gently, cutting her off. “It’s okay. I’m not mad at you, Al.”

 

“It’s okay if you are!” Ali insists. “I really would understand.”

 

“I know you would. But please don’t think that you were overlooking my feelings because you weren’t. I wasn’t upset with you at all.”

 

“But you were upset with Casey.” Ali states as she pulls away from Ashlyn and begins to plate the eggs, avocado, and fruit she had prepared them for breakfast.

 

Ashlyn thinks a moment, grabbing an apple slice from one of the plates as Ali bats at her hand. She grins at Ali as she chews, leaning against the counter beside her.

 

“I,” Ashlyn swallows the last of her apple, “had a few things to say that I probably should have said a lot earlier.”

 

“What kinds of things?”

 

“I told her that she needs to be responsible for her own feelings and stop looking to other’s to soothe her wounds.”

 

“Wow.”

 

“That, and if she wanted to be able to turn to someone other than her ex-girlfriend’s new girlfriend for support, she should probably stop treating people like shit.”

 

“You really let her have it.”

 

“I guess.” Ashlyn shrugs. “She got all kinds of kindness from you, babe. It was time for a little tough love.”

 

“A little good cop, bad cop?” Ali asks.

 

“Something like that.” Ashlyn sits at the breakfast bar with Ali to eat her breakfast. “Thank you, Ali. For not leaving her like that. She didn’t deserve it, but she really did need someone.”

 

“I just did what I knew you would do.”

 

The next couple of weeks are quiet but busy for the pair. Ali, Ashlyn, and Alex all continue to train, and Ali and Ashlyn are sure to try and pick Alex’s brain about the team and coaching staff as much as they can. Neither Ashlyn nor Ali hear from Casey again, but an uncomfortable looking red-head comes into the bar one day and leaves a bag with Ali’s clothes. Ashlyn suspects this is the woman Casey is in love with and, while she didn’t know if it was a good idea, that they had reconciled.

 

 When Valentine’s Day rolls around, Ashlyn has the whole day off, but Ali has to work a half-shift. However, Ali had worked out with Sam an arrangement that would Allow Ali to leave a couple of hours early so she could go home and prepare a special surprise for Ashlyn. Ali is headed into a liquor store to grab a nice bottle of red wine for a little later in the evening, when her phone starts ringing. She grabs it to make sure it isn’t Ashlyn, and when she sees its Tasha, she throws it back in her bag. She’ll call her back later, right now she needs to get home before Ashlyn does.

 

Ali has convinced Ashlyn that because she had to work, and it’s the middle of the week, that she wants nothing more than a nice quiet Valentine’s Day at home. Before work, she asked Ashlyn to meet her at her apartment at four, and they’ll order in and watch movies and cuddle. In reality, Ali has made reservations at a steakhouse downtown, but the only time available was nine o’clock, so she plans to offer Ashlyn an _appetizer_ before dinner, followed by a nice bottle of red wine while they get ready for their night out. She hopes Ashlyn might be down for a little _dessert_ when they get home too.

 

Ali’s hair is curled into long, loose ringlets and she has just finished changing into the red lace bra and panty set she purchased a couple of weeks ago for this very occasion, when she hears Ashlyn unlocking the door. Ali positions herself in the doorway to her room, leaning against the doorframe with one hip, and one arm outstretched above her head.

 

In the next moment, several things happen all at once. Ashlyn’s eyes nearly pop out of her head when she sees Ali, Ali shrieks in surprise and embarrassment, and Abigail comes bounding up to a nearly-naked Ali like nothing strange is happening at all.

 

“Whoa! Al! Those are some fancy undies! I like them!” Abigail says happily, wrapping her tiny arms around the stunned woman’s bare waist.

 

“Fuck.” Ali mutters, her eyes closed tight, trying to pretend none of this is happening.

 

“Oooh!!” Abigail squeals. “An f-word! That’s a fiver, Al!” She holds out her hand for payment.

 

“Uhh, come with me, Abigail.” Ashlyn says reaching for the little girl’s hand and dragging her into the kitchen. “I’ll pay you for it. Ali probably wants to finish getting dressed.”

 

“What’s the point of fancy undies if you’re just gonna cover them up?” Abigail muses.

 

“That’s a very good question.” Ashlyn says, lifting the girl onto the kitchen counter.

 

Meanwhile Ali has escaped into her room and closed the door quickly. She’s at a loss as to why Abigail is with Ashlyn and then she remembers Tasha’s phone call and how she hadn’t had time to call her back, or even to listen to the voicemail she left. Ali pulls on pair of leggings and sweatshirt before grabbing her phone and finding Tasha’s message.

 

_“Hey, Ali. It’s Tasha. I, um, shit. I really don’t know what to do. A hospital in Tampa called me and said my mom had fallen off a ladder or something and I didn’t even know I’m her emergency contact. I know I’m asking a lot of you but I was wondering if you or Ash could go pick up Abigail from school and hang out with her until I get back? Um, just, call me back if you can. I’m really sorry about all of this.”'_

 

Then there’s the follow-up text Ali had missed.

 

**Tasha:** Ash told me you’re working. I’m sorry for calling in such a panic. She’s going to get Abigail after school. Thank you guys both so much for watching her. I’ll call and check in as soon as I can.

 

Before Ali joins Ashlyn and Abigail in the kitchen, she calls the restaurant and cancels their reservation.

 

“Hey, Abs!” Ali greets a bit too enthusiastically.

 

“Al!!” Abigail says leaping forward off the counter, Ashlyn catching her just in time to ease her down a bit more gently. “Ashlyn said we’re going to the pizza arcade for dinner!” Abigail says excitedly.

 

“When did I say that?” Ashlyn asks her in surprise.

 

Abigail uses a hand to shield her mouth as she loudly whispers to Ashlyn, “Just go with it and she’ll say yes.”

 

“Well it’s probably more appropriate than the new steakhouse downtown.” Ali says with mild annoyance.

 

Ashlyn throws her head back in disappointment as she picks up on what Ali is implying.

 

“Okay.” Ashlyn sighs. “Pizza arcade it is!”

 

“YES!!” Abigail shrieks as she runs a lap around the breakfast bar, high-fiving Ashlyn and Ali as she passes them.

 

When they reach the pizza arcade, Abigail happily skipping along between Ali and Ashlyn holding both of their hands, the place is packed with teenagers.

 

“Is everyone in Orlando, under the age of seventeen in this restaurant right now?!” Ashlyn asks Ali.

 

“No.” Ali shrugs. “Only if they’re under seventeen and _in love_.” She grins at her girlfriend.

 

“Well at least we meet half of the criteria.”

 

“Oh. Honey.” Ali gives Ashlyn a pitying look as she pats her cheek with her hand. “You only _think_ you’re seventeen.”

 

Ashlyn scoffs. “I meant the _in love_ part but if you’re trying to tell me you’re not in love with me, Krieger…”

 

“Of course I’m in love with you, Harris.” Ali rolls her eyes.

 

“No, no. I get it. It’s fine.” Ashlyn dismisses. “You can buy your own pizza because I have a new little valentine!” Ashlyn says as she bends down to Abigail’s level and tickles her sides before swooping her up onto her shoulders. The first-grader is small for her age, and Ashlyn is strong. Abigail giggles uncontrollably as Ashlyn carries her around, pretending to almost knock her into things.

 

“Okay, kids.” Ali says getting their attention. “Who wants tokens?”

 

Abigail and Ashlyn’s hands fly into the air.  “Me!” They say together.

 

Ali puts a handful of shiny, golden tokens in each of their outstretched hands.

 

“Use them wisely because this is all you’re getting until after pizza.” Ali warns.

 

Ali goes and orders pizza for them while Ashlyn and Abigail run around playing games together. Ali can’t help but beam at how Ashlyn’s face lights up with the same excitement as Abigail’s. She trails behind them, watching and listening as they interact. Ali’s mind wanders to what life might be like years in the future, taking their own daughter out for a family Valentine’s date.

 

A group of boys who look to be about 12 years old come rushing past Abigail, knocking her onto the ground. Ali is rushing over and picking Abigail up before her sobs have even caught up with her.

 

“Allliiii!” Abigail cries as Ali holds her on her lap.

 

“Sshh, it’s okay, Sweetie. I know that hurt but you’re my big, strong girl, right?”

 

Abigail nods with a sniffle and then buries her head in Ali’s shoulder.

 

Ashlyn has already stopped the group of boys and is speaking to them sternly, sending the one who actually knocked into Abigail to the counter to ask for a band-aid.

 

The little boy walks with Ashlyn over to Ali and Abigail and apologizes sheepishly. He hands the band-aid to Ali before hurrying off to rejoin his friends. Ali grabs a wet-nap from the table they’re seated at and cleans up Abigail’s knee before placing the bandage over the small scrape.

 

Ali offers to let Abigail down to go play, but the little girl chooses to stay on Ali’s lap, leaning her head against her, as Ashlyn sits beside them, her arm resting on the back of Ali’s chair. A server brings over their pizzas and Abigail lights up again when she sees the child-size, heart-shaped, cheese pizza placed in front of her. Ali had ordered a thin-crust pizza with artichoke hearts, tomato, Kalamata olives, and feta on it for her and Ashlyn.

 

“Can I have a slice of your pizza? I’m still hungry.” Abigail asks sweetly after she’s finished her whole pie.

 

“Of course you can.” Ali says grabbing a piece and putting it on Abigail’s plate. “Are you sure you’ll like it though?”

 

“Yes.” Abigail says taking a big bite. “My mom says I have a _stophistacated_ palette.” She says with her mouth full.

 

“Oh yeah” Ashlyn nods in agreement. “Very ‘stophistacated.’” Ashlyn agrees.

 

Abigail grins up at her and reaches for an artichoke heart that had fallen and happily stuffing it in her mouth.

 

“Well that definitely wasn’t on the training diet.” Ashlyn says patting her stomach.

 

“Neither was filet mignon.” Ali says. “But it’s Valentine’s day. Live a little.” She leans over and places a kiss on Ashlyn’s lips.

 

After their plates are cleared, Abigail wants Ashlyn to try and win her a bear from the claw machine, which after about $10, she does. Then Abigail insists she win one for Ali too. It doesn’t take quite as long the second time around and Ashlyn is pleased to see both girls wearing the same gleeful expression over their new friend.

 

Ali’s phone begins ringing and she flashes the screen to Ashlyn to show her it’s Tasha calling, before stepping away.

 

“How about we go see about cashing in those tickets?” Ashlyn asks.

 

Abigail squeals yet again and races off toward the prize room with Ashlyn trailing behind her.

 

“Oooh!! Ash! Look at this!” Abigail calls to her. She holds up a gaudy, plastic ring. The band is painted silver with a large fuchsia “gemstone” on top.

 

“Wow!” Ashlyn appeases the little girl. “That’s beautiful!”

 

“I know, right?!” Abigail sasses. “You know who would love it?” She asks.

 

“Who?”

 

“Ali. Duh!” The little girl gives an exaggerated eye-roll.

 

“Right. Duh.” Ashlyn plays back.

 

“I can give you my tickets, and you can get it for her!” Abigail says excitedly.

 

“That’s a really sweet idea, but you worked hard for those tickets. I know Ali would appreciate the thought, but she’d want you to get something for you.”

 

“But she would LOVE this ring!” Abigail insists.

 

“If you really want her to have it, you can give it to her. You picked it out for her.”

 

“Look, Ash.” Abigail says placing a hand on her hip. “I’m trying to help you out here.”

 

Ashlyn can hardly contain her laughter at the tiny blonde’s response. “Is that so?”

 

“Yes.” Abigail says seriously. “But I can’t propose for you! That’s your job!”

 

“Oooh.” Ashlyn says in understanding. “You’re right. That is my job. But I don’t think I’ll be proposing to Ali tonight.”

 

“Why not?” Abigail pouts. “Don’t you want to marry her?”

 

“I definitely want to marry Ali.” Ashlyn says with certainty. “Someday. Now isn’t the right time, but someday it will be.”

 

Abigail thinks for a moment before grabbing another ring from the box. “I’m gonna get two, one for me and one for Ali.”

 

“That’s a great idea.” Ashlyn says.

 

“But I’ll tell her you picked them out.” Abigail says with a wink. She skips off with her rings and handful of tickets up to the counter.

 

Ashlyn hadn’t noticed Ali return so she’s surprised to find her standing behind her, with a big, nose-crinkling smile plastered on her face.

 

“Oh! You startled me!”

 

“Sorry, babe.” Ali says wrapping her arms around Ashlyn’s neck and kissing her soundly.

 

“What was that for?”

 

“I just love you.” Ali says before leaning in to kiss Ashlyn again.

 

“How’s Tasha?”

 

“Her mom is going to be okay, but it’s a little tense. You know they don’t talk much.”

 

Ashlyn nods.

 

“Looks like she needs to stay overnight. They’re going to release her mom tomorrow, but she wants to stay and get her settled before she comes back. I told her it was alright if Abigail stayed with us tonight.”

 

“We’re going to have a sleepover?!” Abigail is thrilled.

 

“We are!” Ali says taking the girl’s hand.

 

“Wait!” Abigail says, dropping Ali’s hand. “I have a valentine for you!”

 

“You do?”

 

“Mhmm” Abigail says with a nod. “Here.” She holds the ring up to Ali.

 

“Oh my goodness! It’s beautiful!” Ali slips the ring on her pinky finger, as it’s the only one small enough for the plastic band.

 

“Ashlyn picked them out for us because she loves us so much!” Abigail says dramatically.

 

“Feeling is mutual.” Ali says with a kiss to Ashlyn’s cheek. Abigail takes Ali’s hand and they head back to Ashlyn’s jeep, matching rings on their hands, and bears tucked under their arms.

 

Back at Ali’s apartment, Ali gets Abigail ready for bed before they start a movie. She washes her face and combs her hair and puts her in one of her t-shirts, which ends up like a night gown on the tiny girl. When Abigail is ready for bed, Ali and Ashlyn join her on the couch for _The Lion King_. She starts out between them, but 20 minutes in, Abigail is sprawled out on both Ali and Ashlyn’s laps. Abigail’s head rest on Ali’s lap, while Ashlyn finds herself dodging tiny feet in her face. Ali strokes the little girl’s hair until her eyelids droop and she’s sound asleep.

 

After the movie, Ashlyn lifts a sleeping Abigail in her arms, and the little girl snuggles into her. She holds her while Ali fixes up the couch into Abigail’s bed. Ashlyn lays her down and both women kiss the top of her head before turning off the lights and heading to Ali’s room.

 

As soon as Ali’s door is closed, Ashlyn’s lips are pressed to Ali’s neck and across her collarbones as she tugs at the bottom of her shirt. Ali let’s her slide it up over hear head before she realizes what she’s doing and slams on the breaks.

 

“Ash.” Ali breathes out.

 

Ashlyn captures her lips in a heated kiss, deepening it almost immediately. Ali has to muster all her willpower to pull away.

 

“Ashlyn” She says more seriously.

 

“Mmhmm?” Ashlyn mumbles as she runs kisses lower down Ali’s chest.

 

“Babe, we need to stop.”

 

Ashlyn stops tugging on Ali’s leggings but leaves her thumbs hooked in the waistband.

 

“Oh come on.” Ashlyn husks in her ear. “I want to see your fancy undies.”

 

Ali throws her head back in laughter, prompting Ashlyn to shush her.

 

“That’s exactly my point.” Ali whispers. “We have a seven-year-old who does not belong to us, asleep in the next room. The last thing we need is her walking in on us while you’re trying to get into my fancy undies.”

 

“She’s asleep. We can be quiet.”

 

“Speak for yourself.”

 

“I’ll help you.” Ashlyn runs a thumb over Ali’s lips, and Ali locks eyes with her as she bites Ashlyn’s thumb.

 

Ali pulls away from Ashlyn and removes her leggings before she crawls into her bed, Ashlyn joining her quickly. Ashlyn moves to straddle Ali’s hips, stopping to pull off her own shirt before kissing her deeply again. Ali lets out a soft moan as Ashlyn moves her lips to her neck, her hands running up Ali’s thighs. Ashlyn’s just found Ali’s hipbones and is running a thumb under the red, lace panties when a tiny, tired voice breaks through the moment.

 

“Ali?” Abigail sniffles.

 

“I’m right here, sweetheart.” Ali says, quickly sitting up. Ashlyn rolls off her and hands her the shirt she removed only moments before. Ali pulls Ashlyn’s shirt over hear head as she slides to the end of the bed to meet Abigail. Ali scoops the girl into her arms and holds her close, leaning against the wall.

 

“Can I stay here with you?” Abigail asks.

 

“Sure you can.”

 

“I love you, Al.”

 

“I love you too, Abs.”

 

Ashlyn has slipped out of bed and quickly changed into pajamas. She tosses Ali a pair of shorts as she gets back into bed. Abigail crawls out of Ali’s lap and curls into Ashlyn’s side. Ali puts the shorts on and joins them. About ten minutes later, when Abigail is once again fast asleep, Ali leans in to kiss Ashlyn softly, but with meaning.

 

“I love you, Ash.”

 

“I love you, too.”

 

They two lay together in the darkness, finding just enough moonlight to look into the other’s eyes.

 

“You’re going to be a great mom one day.” Ashlyn says.

 

“Only if I’ve got you by my side.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? Feelings? Questions? Favorite parts?
> 
> How did you feel about Ashlyn's reaction to Casey? Do you think Ash and Ali deserve a Valentine's Day re-do? What do you think is going to happen at tryouts?


	28. Longshot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to make you wait so long on this one! This one didn't flow quite as easily, but we're back on track. Mind the rating, and I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Please let me know what you think in the comments, and come find me on tumblr at letter-know.tumblr.com

Ashlyn wakes up to find a tiny foot in her face. Abigail lies diagonally across Ashlyn and Ali, with her feet by Ashlyn’s head, and her head on Ali’s legs. Ali, still fast asleep, has a hand resting on the top of the little girl’s head. Ashlyn leans over and kisses Ali on the forehead.

 

“Babe.” She whispers. “Drop off is at 7:45. We need to get up.”

 

Ali just smiles at the sound of Ashlyn’s voice.

 

“Come on, love.” Ashlyn tries again, this time rubbing Ali’s arm. “We need to get Abigail ready for school.”

 

Ali’s eyes flutter open and it takes her a second to comprehend what Ashlyn has said. She quickly remembers as she takes in the child currently asleep on her lap.

 

“She’s so sweet, isn’t she?” Ali asks, brushing some hair from Abigail’s face.

 

“She’s a little sweeter when she’s not kicking me in the face, but yes.”

 

“Good morning, sweetheart.” Ali coos at the little girl as she rubs her arms and back gently. “It’s time to get up.”

 

Abigail stirs slightly, before turning her face in to the blankets.

 

Ashlyn grabs the tiny foot still near her face and tickles it. Abigail can’t help but squeal with laughter as she tries to free her foot.

 

“Oh, there she is!” Ashlyn says.

 

Abigail rights herself and sits cross-legged between the two women.

 

“So. What are we going to do today?” Abigail asks with a yawn.

 

“Well,” Ali says with a light laugh, “You are going to go to school, and we,” Ali gestures between herself and Ashlyn, “are going to go to work.”

 

“Oooor,” Abigail drags out the word with a mischievous look. “We could go to requarium!”

 

“As fun as that sounds,” Ashlyn says getting up out of bed, “it’s not going to happen. Nice try though.”

 

Abigail shrugs as she follows Ashlyn out of the room.

 

Ashlyn let’s Abigail watch a show while she goes to take a quick shower, and once Ali is dressed, she starts making breakfast for the three of them. When Abigail’s episode is over and Ali is just about done with breakfast, she sends her to tell Ashlyn it’s ready.

 

“Ashlyynnn!!!” Abigail calls at as she runs down the short hallway.

 

 

“Abigaaaail!!” Ashlyn mimics as she pulls the door open to greet her.

 

“Al made us breakfast!” Abigail says from the doorway.

 

“She did?!”

 

“Yeah! Come on!”

 

Ashlyn follows her back into the kitchen.

 

“I bet its scrambled eggs.” Ashlyn says.

 

“It is!” Abigail says, amazed. “How did you know?”

 

“Let’s just say it’s her specialty.” Ashlyn says as she lifts the little girl to sit at the breakfast bar. Ali glares at her as she hands over a plate for Abigail. “I knew she would want to impress you.” Ashlyn finishes with a wink in Ali’s direction.

 

While Abigail works on a plate of seconds, Ali starts cleaning up the kitchen, and Ashlyn stands behind Abigail, braiding her hair.

 

“Good morning!” Kelley calls as she lets herself in the front door.

 

“Hey, Kel.” Ali greets from the sink. “Do you want breakfast?”

 

“Well I already ate, but if you’ve got food you’re going to just throw away…” She trails off as Ali laughs and puts all the leftovers on a plate.

 

“There you go, kiddo.” Kelley says, setting a plastic shopping bag from Target on the counter beside the little girl.

 

“What is it?” Abigail asks peering into the bag.

 

“I asked Kelley to get you some clothes for school so you didn’t have to wear the same thing as yesterday.” Ali answers.

 

Abigail starts pulling things from the bag. First she pulls out a red and gold Wonder Woman t-shirt, followed by a pair of black leggings with gold polka dots. Finally she pulls out a pair of socks and a three-pack of rainbow and unicorn print underwear. Abigail looks at the last item and frowns.

 

“Why the pout, scout?” Kelley asks.

 

“I wanted fancy undies.” Abigail says.

 

“These are fancy! They’ve got unicorns on them! How much fancier can you get?”

 

“No, like Ali’s fancy undies!”

 

“Ali’s fancy undies?” Kelley asks, grinning at her friend. Ashlyn is laughing so hard her eyes are filling with tears.

 

“Yeah! Yesterday Al was wearing really fancy undies! They were bright red, and kinda see-through but not all the way.”

 

“Wow, those _do_ sound fancy.” Kelley says, barely containing her laughter as she looks at Ali who is turning bright red herself, and trying to hide her face in her hands. “I can’t wait to hear the rest of this story.” She directs at Ashlyn, who is wiping a few tears away.

 

“Okay,” Ali says with a pointed look at Kelley. “Enough about my undies. Abigail, finish eating so you can get dressed, please.”

 

Ashlyn finishes Abigail’s braids as Ali sets to work cleaning the frying pan in the sink, and Kelley and Abigail finish eating.

 

“Hey, Al?” Abigail asks with a mouthful of scrambled eggs.

 

“Yes, sweetheart?”

 

“I was wondering about something.” Abigail says.

 

“What’s that?”

 

“Well you guys have a nephew and he gets to call you ‘auntie’ so I asked my mom why I didn’t have any aunts or uncles. She said that it didn’t matter if I didn’t cause I got you and Ash and Kelley so I asked if maybe I could call you ‘auntie’ too and she said I’d hafta take that one up with you. So I was thinkin’ I could be your niece if you wanted one.”

 

“I would love for you to be my niece!” Ali looks like she’s going to cry.

 

“And you guys too?” The little girl looks between Ashlyn and Kelley.

 

“Absolutely.” Ashlyn nods.

 

“Totally.” Kelley adds.

 

“That’s a good choice because I am an excellent niece.” Abigail says confidently. She shoves her last bite of eggs into her mouth before continuing. “I’m really glad I have aunts now even if I don’t got any uncles yet.”

 

“Uncle Kelley to the rescue!” She places her hands on her hips in a superhero pose for added effect.

 

Abigail throws her head back in a fit of giggles. “You can’t be an uncle!”

 

“And why not?” Kelley asks.

 

Abigail thinks about it for a minute and can’t come up with a good reason. “I don’t know.” She giggles out.

 

“Then I think that means I can be your uncle.”

 

Abigail just giggles again and nods her head in agreement.

 

Ashlyn and Ali successfully get Abigail dressed and ready for school. Kelley just hangs out and cracks jokes, occasionally stealing sips from both Ashlyn’s and Ali’s coffee cups, until it’s time to leave.

 

“Oh my god!” Ali gasps as she sits passenger while Ashlyn drives them to the school. “I didn’t pack her a lunch! I didn’t pack you a lunch!” She turns to look at Abigail in the back seat, a look of horror on her face.

 

“It’s okay, Aunt Al. I get hot lunch.” Abigail reassures.

 

“Do you need lunch money?” Ashlyn asks, glancing at the girl through her rearview mirror.

 

“No, I got money on my lunch card.”

 

Ali lets out a sigh of relief, as Ash pulls into the drop off line and puts the car in park. Abigail gathers her backpack and then stands, leaning over the center console to kiss Ashlyn and Ali on the cheek.

 

“I love you guys.” Abigail grins at them.

 

“We love you too.” Ali says squeezing her hand. “Have a good day at school!”

 

“I will!” Abigail pushes the large back door open to greet her teacher, who offers her hand to help the little girl jump down from the vehicle.

 

“I’m exhausted.” Ali says as the pair pull away from the curb.

 

“Me too, babe. But there’s no rest for the wicked. We’ve got to meet Alex at the gym in a half hour.”

 

“Oh, I’ll show you wicked.” Ali raises her brows at Ashlyn as she runs her hand up her girlfriend’s thigh.

 

“Don’t tempt me.”

 

“I’m not tempting, I’m asking. Let me show you everything I had in store for you last night.” Now Ali leans across the console to places kisses down Ashlyn’s neck.

 

“I would truly love that, but I can’t.”

 

“What do you mean ‘can’t’?!”

 

“I mean no sex.”

 

Ali’s jaw drops. She pushes her sunglasses on top of her head so Ashlyn can feel the full weight of her stare.

 

“Don’t look at me like that.”

 

“Are you really rejecting me right now, Harris?!”

 

“Babe.” Ashlyn shoots her a look. “I’m not rejecting you. I want you. Always. You know that.”

 

“Did you or did you not just say ‘no sex’?”

 

“I told you about my rule. Tryouts are one week from today.”

 

“You were serious about that?!”

 

“Yes, I was serious about that! I know it’s disappointing but I want to stay totally focused. It’s just part of my process, babe.”

 

“I promise you that not having sex with me will be a distraction. I’ll make sure of it.”

 

“The frustration is good for me too.” Ashlyn winks and Ali crosses her arms with a huff.

 

Over the next week, Ali keeps her word and tries to tempt Ashlyn as much as she can. Ashlyn comes home after a shift at Astronomy to find Ali doing yoga in only her sports bra and pair of boy shorts. Later, Ali joins Ashlyn in the shower after training one day, and makes quite a show of lathering herself up and rinsing herself off. Another day, Ali saunters into the living room completely naked, claiming she was washing her delicates. Ashlyn damn near loses her mind, but her stubbornness and competitive nature keep her from giving in.

 

Ashlyn was a firm believer that if you couldn’t talk openly and honestly about sex and the things you wanted, you shouldn’t be having sex at all. Ali learned this about Ashlyn when she tried to seduce her in the supply closet at work, and Ashlyn had no issue expressing herself. Even their little third date game had been based on the trust that they could talk about _what_ they wanted, _whenever_ they wanted. Ali did not, however, realize that Ashlyn could also be very direct when it came to sex, or that this was something that would be a major turn on for her.

 

The first time it happened, Ali and Ashlyn were lying on the couch together, watching a movie. They were both on their sides, with Ashlyn behind Ali so they could both see the TV. Ashlyn was mindlessly running her index finger up and down Ali’s arm, while Ali contemplated falling asleep. Out of nowhere, Ashlyn began kissing Ali’s neck and moved her hand under Ali’s shirt so she could gently run her fingernails over Ali’s abs, near the waistband of her sweats. Ali turned her head to meet Ashlyn’s lips, and was met with a passionate, but still rather sweet, kiss. Ali was enjoying what she thought would be a nice mid-week make out when Ashlyn moved back to her neck, and then to her ear.

 

“I want to finger you.” Ashlyn whispered rather matter-of-factly.

 

Ali’s eyes went wide and she took a sharp breath in as she felt her body instantly respond to her lover’s request. She shifted slightly so she was lying more on her back, and looked up into Ashlyn’s eyes, nodding her head, still a little surprised. Without breaking eye contact, Ashlyn stuck two fingers into her mouth and sucked on them a moment before sliding her hand into Ali’s underwear. She smirked when she realized any further lubrication would not be necessary. She slid one finger into Ali for only a moment, and then spread the wetness up to Ali’s clit where she started pressing slow circles. She increased her speed and varied the direction in which she moved, while she watched Ali’s face. Her eyes were shut tight and her mouth hung open slightly. She watched as Ali’s heartrate picked up, and her breathing turned to a soft panting. When Ashlyn could feel that Ali was almost there, she stopped her movements and plunged two fingers into her without warning. Ali gasped and threw her head back, as Ashlyn began moving in and out, slowly at first, then faster. She curled her fingers slightly and again watched Ali’s face contentedly as her moans caught in the back of her throat and her body jolted in Ashlyn’s arms. Ash slowed her movements but continued until Ali reached for her wrist to still her.

 

The second time it happened, Ashlyn had picked Ali up from the airport after she’d spent a long weekend in New York with her brother. They were driving back to Ali’s place, the radio playing softly, both sitting in a happy silence.

 

“Hey, babe?” Ashlyn asked.

 

“Hm?” Ali responded, while taking a sip of the iced coffee Ashlyn had greeted her with.

 

“Can I eat you out? When we get home?” Ashlyn asked casually. She had one hand on the wheel, the other resting on Ali’s thigh.

 

Ali nearly choked on her coffee.

 

“What?!” Ali asked with a blush and a huge grin.

 

“I missed you.” Ashlyn said, with her own devilish grin.

 

As soon as they were through the door, and had set Ali’s bags down, Ashlyn lifted her girlfriend over her shoulder and carried her to the bedroom. She tossed her on the bed as Ali squealed. There was no pretense or build-up as Ashlyn immediately reached for Ali’s leggings and pulled them down, along with her underwear, in one quick movement. Ali barely had time to scoot back up the bed before Ashlyn’s head was between her legs, humming happily as she tasted her. She used her tongue, and then her fingers, and then her tongue again, to bring Ali to her peak. Ali came hard, twice, Ashlyn’s name the only word she seemed to remember, with one hand in Ashlyn’s hair, the other grasping the sheet so hard, she pulled a corner loose from the mattress.

 

Ashlyn climbed up Ali’s body, a blissful look on her face.

 

“Thank you, babe.” She said as she ran kisses down the side of Ali’s jaw and up the other.

 

Ali couldn’t fathom what Ashlyn could possibly be thankful for, seeing as she was the one who did all the work. But that was the thing about Ashlyn, it wasn’t work, and she enjoyed it nearly as much as Ali did. Ashlyn started to sit up, but Ali pulled her back down.

 

“Nooo.” She whined.

 

Ashlyn looks at her questioningly.

 

“My turn.” Ali moves to flip them, now straddling Ashlyn.

 

Ashlyn reaches up and tucks Ali’s hair behind her ears.

 

“You don’t have to worry about that, Al. I just wanted to make you feel good.”

 

“I’m not worried about it at all.” Ali smirks before leaning in to give Ashlyn a hungry kiss. “And I’ll feel even better when I’m done.”

 

So Ali had quickly learned that a blunt request from Ashlyn was something she didn’t want to turn down. Two nights before tryouts, Ali tried her boldest move yet. She had spent a good twenty minutes on top of Ashlyn, grinding and writhing against her. She pinned Ashlyn’s hands to her side so she couldn’t touch her, as she continued to kiss and lick and bite away. After one last, long, lingering kiss, Ali freed Ashlyn’s hands and rolled off of her. She lay beside Ashlyn, in only her red, lace bra and panties, and caught her breath. Once she felt Ashlyn’s gaze fall upon her, Ali slid a hand into her own panties and began to touch herself. Although she was really worked up, and it felt good, she still wished it was Ashlyn touching her. She hoped that this move would be too much for Ashlyn to overlook, and she’d finally get what she really wanted.

 

Ashlyn moved closer to Ali, and propped herself up on an elbow to get a better view. It wasn’t exactly what she wanted, but Ashlyn’s interested spurred Ali on, and she couldn’t help the moan that escaped her lips. When Ashlyn leaned in and whispered one of her matter-of-fact requests in Ali’s ear, she was helpless.

 

“I want to watch you.”

 

Ali wanted to stop what she was doing immediately, and roll over. Denying Ashlyn her request and driving her crazy the same way she had been torturing Ali all week. But she couldn’t.

 

“Will you make yourself come for me?”

 

Ali drove two fingers into herself, moving rapidly and feeling her legs begin to shake. Ashlyn ran her hand down Ali’s arm and then placed it gently over Ali’s hand so she could feel her movements, without really touching her. And that was all it took to send Ali tumbling over the edge, her cries quickly silenced as Ashlyn’s tongue explored the inside of her mouth.

 

After a few moments of kissing and recovery, Ali settled herself into Ashlyn’s side, resting her head on her shoulder.

 

“I love you.”

 

“I love you too, Al. Thank you for being patient with me this week.”

 

Ali lets out a bark of laughter. “I don’t know if trying to sabotage you every chance I get counts as being patient.”

 

“But it’s just teasing. As soon I say no, or really shut things down, you don’t even question it. You respect my choice and you don’t try and make me feel bad about it, even though it isn’t want you want. I really appreciate that.”

 

“Ash, babe, I would never push you to do something you didn’t want to do. That’s a type of respect everyone deserves, especially when it comes to sex. You don’t need to thank me for doing something you’re entitled to. It’s what should be expected.”

 

“Well maybe I don’t need to thank you, but I want to.”

 

Ali leaned up and kissed her again, this time it was gentle and filled with all the love she feels for Ashlyn.

 

Finally, the day of tryouts arrived. Ali and Ashlyn both woke up bright and early, adrenaline coursing through them as they got ready for the day. They were both caught up in their own thoughts, so they didn’t talk much, but they moved through their morning in perfect sync. They arrived at the practice fields at nine o’clock, walking hand in hand to the table where they would check in. They were each given a schedule for the day, a number, and a field to report to. They helped each other pin their numbers on, and then compared their schedules.

 

“Looks like we’ll be on different fields.” Ali says, a little disappointed.

 

“It’s okay. I don’t need the distraction of that perfect ass running around in front of me.” She says with a smack to Ali’s backside.

 

“And what are you going to do if I end up in your backline?”

 

“Buy you bigger shorts.”

 

Ali just rolls her eyes and pecks Ashlyn’s lips, before throwing her bag over her shoulder.

 

“We should get going. I’ll come find you when we break for lunch. You’re going to kill it, babe.”

 

“You too, love. Show them who’s boss.”

 

The morning goes well for both women. Ashlyn’s group is much smaller because there just aren’t as many goalkeepers as field players. She knows the competition is tough, but she can also tell that she has a lot more experience than the other women there. Ashlyn instantly gets along with the goalkeeping coach who is instructing the group and doing the initial observations. By the time they break for lunch, they already have two running jokes, and Ashlyn is feeling confident that she’s shown her skills and then some.

 

Ali’s group is larger, and after the first few drills, the large group is broken up into smaller groups. She tries not to read too much into it, but it appears to be somewhat based on ability, and she’s pleased with the group she’s been placed in. Ali’s natural leadership is already on display, as she communicates with the other plays during drills, and in how vocal she becomes during their first scrimmage. As they break for lunch, the coach slaps her on the back and mumbles a “good work” before heading off to confer with the rest of the staff.

 

They’ve just broken for lunch, and Ashlyn is still standing in goal, wiping her face with a towel, when she hears a voice call out to her.

 

“Hey, keep!”

 

Ashlyn turns to find a tall, leggy blonde, dressed in Pride purple, firing a shot at her. She looks more like she belongs on a runway than a soccer pitch, but the ball headed for the upper right corner of the net says she’s exactly where she belongs. Ashlyn hardly has time to respond, but manages to leap up and punch the ball away in her classic, acrobatic style, before it can find the back of the net.

 

“Oh! She’s got moves!” The mystery blonde says.

 

“That was a longshot.” Alex Morgan says joining the woman.

 

Ashlyn is a little offended that her friend thought she shouldn’t have been able to stop it.

 

“Hey, I made the save, didn’t I?” Ashlyn says moving closer to the pair.

 

“No, I mean, that’s what we call Allie’s signature move. She likes to catch keepers off-guard and take unfair shots on them. She thinks it’s funny. Ashlyn Harris, meet Allie Long. Hence the name ‘Long Shot.’”

 

“It’s nice to meet you, Allie. I’d shake your hand but…” She gestures with her still gloved hands.

 

“How’d the morning go?” Alex asks.

 

“I’m feeling good about it so far, but just trying to stay focused on what I’m being asked to do and doing it as best I can. What are you guys doing here?”

 

“Just getting a little training in.” Alex says.

 

“I’m just here for the free lunch.” Allie cracks.

 

“So how is Ali doing?” Alex asks Ashlyn.

 

“Uhh, Allie is doing just fine, thanks?” Allie responds.

 

“Not you, Allie. Her Ali.” Alex says pointing at Ashlyn.

 

“I thought her, Ashlyn?” Allie asks.

 

“Oh no, not _me_ , Ali. _My_ Ali.”

 

“I’m lost.” Allie says with a look of confusion.

 

Just then, Ali walks up behind Ash and pinches her ass, causing her to flinch and turn around.

 

“Hi honey.” Ali says with a wide smile.

 

“Hey, Al! How did it go?” Ashlyn asks.

 

“I think it’s going really well. I hope it’s going really well. I guess we’ll find out.” She shrugs.

 

“Ali Krieger, this is Allie Long.” Alex introduces.

 

“Ooooh!” Allie says, finally understanding. “ _You_ Ali!”

 

“Uh,” Ali says with a laugh. “You too.”

 

“Wait, are you an Alison or an Alexandra?” Allie asks, eyeing her skeptically.

 

“Alexandra.”

 

Allie lets out a raspy, yet high-pitched squeal. “Three Alexandras! I love it! Now you have to make the team.”

 

“Well with logic like that, I don’t know how the coach could say no.” Ali jokes.

 

The three women make their way inside the training facility for lunch with the rest of  the group, and spent the next half hour talking about everything they had done so far, what they were feeling good about, and how they were feeling about the rest of the session. After lunch, Allie and Alex head home, and Ashlyn and Ali make their way back to their groups.

 

The afternoon goes as well as the morning, and by the end of the day, both Ashlyn and Ali are feeling like they’ve done all that they could. They spend a good amount of time at the end of the day, laughing and talking with the other girls, everyone anxiously awaiting the announcement from the staff about day two. Finally, a woman with a clipboard gets everyone’s attention.

 

“We’ll be placing the list on the table where you checked in today. If your name is listed, please show up here tomorrow morning at nine. For those of you not listed, thank you so much for coming out today. We’ll be in touch. Have a great day, everyone!” the woman says before heading towards the table to drop off the list.

 

“Are you ready for this?” Ali asks Ashlyn.

 

“I gave it all I had.”

 

Ali nods and they slowly gather their things and make their way to the table, trying to wait out the crowd just a little. When they reach the list, Ali scans it carefully, finding her name near the top. She’s thrilled, a giant nose-crinkling smile overtaking her face, as she scrolls the rest of the list to finds Ashlyn’s name. Her smile slowly drops off her face as she reads the last name. She reads through the list again, and then a third time. She turns to Ashlyn, who had been reading over her shoulder, panic in her eyes.

 

“Ash.” Ali breathes out.

 

“It’s fine. Are you ready to go?” Ashlyn’s face is unreadable, her tone short, but not angry.

 

“Yeah. Let’s go home.” Ali says. She grabs Ashlyn’s hand as they walk to the car. She gives it a squeeze, but Ashlyn just stares straight ahead.

 

They drive home in silence, and when they pull up to Ali’s apartment, Ashlyn just idles.

 

“I’m going to go back to my place.” Ashlyn says refusing to meet Ali’s eyes.

 

“Ash, please stay. We don’t have to talk about it.” Ali tries.

 

“Ali, please just let me go.” Her voice is thick.

 

“Yeah. Okay.”

 

Ali sits there another moment, unable to bring herself to get out of the car. Ashlyn continues to stare straight ahead.

 

“I love you, Ashlyn. You’ll call me if you need anything?”

 

“I will. I love you too.”

 

Ali kisses Ashlyn on the cheek and reluctantly climbs out of her jeep. She stands in front of the building and watches Ashlyn drive away.

 

Ali doesn’t hear from Ashlyn for the rest of the night. She tries calling her a couple of times, but it goes to voicemail every time, and as much as Ali wants to be there, she knows she needs to keep herself focused on tomorrow. In the morning, after a restless night of sleep, she finds a text from Ashlyn.

 

**Ashlyn:** I am endlessly proud of you and all you’ve worked so hard for. You deserve this. Show them what you’re made of. I love you.

 

It’s just what Ali needs to pull herself fully into the day’s session, and she shows up ready to earn her spot. The day feels much longer without Ashlyn and by the end of the day, Ali is ready to go find her. The second day of tryouts went just as well as the first, and Ali feels like she put it all out there. The coach had called her by her name, instead of her number, all day, and even said goodbye to her personally. As she heads to the parking lot, she pushes the day to the back of her mind, and shifts her focus to Ashlyn.

 

When Ashlyn still doesn’t answer her phone, Ali decides to go to her apartment and see if she can convince her to let her in, even just for a little while. But when she reaches Ashlyn’s apartment, she can’t find her jeep in the parking lot. She knocks on her door for fifteen minutes, and calls her two more times before she gives up. Back in her car, Ali lets herself feel frustrated for the first time. It felt unfair that Ashlyn would shut her out when she had done nothing but try and support her. She tried to give her space and respect her wishes, but this radio silence was starting to hurt her feelings.

 

They had spent a lot of time talking about what would happen if Ali gave up her spot in Germany but then didn’t make the team. But they hadn’t really discussed what it would mean if Ali made the team, and Ashlyn didn’t, mostly choosing to cross that bridge if they got there. Now they were potentially approaching that bridge, and Ashlyn was nowhere to be found.

 

Ali is almost back to her apartment when she makes a decision and turns around. An hour later, she stands nervously on the front porch, but doesn’t even have time to knock before the door is pulled open.

 

“Come on in, sweetheart. I was wondering when you’d get here.”

 

“Thank you, Mrs. Harris.” Ali says as the old woman ushers her in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? Feelings? Questions? Favorite parts?
> 
> What do you think Ashlyn is feeling? How do you think Ali handled it?


	29. Just Feel and Act

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys had a lot of feelings on the last one! I loved the comments. Let's see how you feel about this one, okay?  
> Thank you for reading and commenting!
> 
> Come find me on tumblr at letter-know.tumblr.com

“When did she get here?” Ali asks while taking her jacket off and hanging it on the back of a kitchen chair.

 

“About two in the morning. I think she thought I’d be asleep but she knows better than that. I like my tea and magazines in the middle of the night.” Grandma Harris replies.

 

Ali closes her eyes and takes a slow, deep breath. She feels anger flaring a little within her, but doesn’t want to let on to Grandma Harris.

 

“It’s okay. You can call her names if you want to. I won’t be offended,” The older woman says with a quiet laugh.

 

“I don’t want to call her names.” Ali sighs. “Not really, anyway.”

 

“But it’s alright to acknowledge her foolishness. And to be clear, that is exactly what she’s being right now. Foolish.”

 

“I have to admit I am feeling pretty angry with her right now. She can’t just run away like this! She cut off nearly all communication.” Ali rubs her face with her hands and lets out another deep breath. “But I’m also feeling really concerned for her. I know she’s upset and not thinking clearly. It’s so hard to comfort her though when she won’t let me.”

 

“Is it really as bad as it seems?” Grandma Harris asks hesitantly, joining Ali at the table.

 

Ali can see the swirling emotions of hope and disappointment in the woman’s eyes. Disappointment not in Ashlyn, but for her, rivals the hope she holds inside that her granddaughter will get what she deserves. Ali recalls the conversation they had back December while putting up the tree and how much she could tell Grandma Harris wanted this for Ashlyn.

 

“I don’t really know, to be honest.” Ali says. “They didn’t say no. And they ended today’s session the same way they did yesterday. Just ‘thanks so much for coming out, we’ll be in touch’ and that was it.”

 

Mrs. Harris nods in contemplative understanding.

 

“Well, honey, how did things go for you today?” Mrs. Harris asks after moment, offering Ali a genuine smile.

 

“Oh, um,” Ali hesitates. “Things went well, I think.”

 

“It’s alright to be excited, Ali. Don’t hold back on your joy because of Ashlyn.”

 

“I just don’t want to be insensitive. I would totally understand if neither one of you had any interest in hearing about—“

 

“Don’t be silly!” Grandma Harris cuts her off. “The only time I’ve seen Ashlyn smile since she got here was when she was talking about you. She looked like she was going to burst she was so proud talking about how you did yesterday. If she can’t have it, she still wants you to.”

 

Ali can’t fight the smile that overtakes her face. Even when Ashlyn was hurting, she cared for Ali and wanted good things for her. It made it easier to let go of some of the hurt and anger she was currently feeling due to Ashlyn’s disappearing act.

 

“I feel like I left it all on the pitch, you know? I gave them everything I have and I think I presented myself well so I’m feeling really good about it.” Ali says.

 

“Oh, that’s wonderful, sweetheart!” Grandma Harris pats Ali’s hand with her own.

 

“That said,” Ali adds, “I don’t know anything yet. They could easily call me up and say ‘thanks but no thanks.’ And if I were to make the roster, there’s really no saying how long it could be for. It’s a new team and they want to do well, I imagine they’ll undergo a lot of roster changes to find the right mix. I don’t know if that will include me or not.”

 

“Well if they’re smart, they’ll know not to let another good thing go.”

 

“Thank you.” Ali smiles at the older woman.

 

The pair sit in comfortable silence for a little while, snacking on apple slices and thinking.

 

“So where is she now?” Ali asks, reaching for another apple slice.

 

“Asleep. When she got here last night she hardly said a word to me. She grabbed a blanket from the couch and went and sat out back. She was still there when I woke up this morning and she sure looked like she hadn’t slept at all. I only convinced her to go lay down a few hours ago.”

 

“I wish she would just talk to me.” Ali lamented, snapping her apple slice in half.

 

“She will.” Grandma Harris says, standing and going to pull a few things from the fridge to begin dinner.

 

Ali groans. “I’m still kind of mad at her though. This isn’t going to work if she shuts me out every time she’s upset about something.”

 

“I don’t mean to make excuses for her because I’m not excusing her actions at all. I absolutely believe she needs someone like you, who loves her, to call her out and let her know she’s got to behave better.” Grandma says. “But if I can provide some insight, I’d like to do that.”

 

“Okay.” Ali nods, encouraging the woman to go on.

 

“Ashlyn is still learning. Growing up, she didn’t have the kind of parents who were there to teach her how to handle her feelings or problems. They didn’t know how to handle their own, much less help a sensitive child, like Ashlyn. She would feel, and then act. She didn’t learn to think in between. Just feel and act. It was what she saw all around her. She was always getting into trouble, fighting with other kids. Soccer helped. It didn’t just give her an outlet, but it gave me some leverage too. I’d tell her, ‘you get suspended and you don’t get to play’ or ‘you don’t keep your grades up and they’ll take the money away.’ I’m lucky she was so good because it gave her a confidence I couldn’t seem to build in her otherwise. She’s always been so hard on herself.” The older woman stops to reflect a moment before getting back on track. “Whenever things got too big or too scary, her parents would say ‘well what can we do about it?’ They felt helpless themselves. So she learned if there was no one there to help her, the best thing to do was run. Eventually she stopped trying to find anyone to help her in the first place, and just did the running. I couldn’t change things for her at home, although I tried, all I could really do was give her somewhere to run to.”

 

“Which is why she’s here right now. And why she came here after our first fight.”

 

“I suppose so.” Grandma agrees. “But she needs to learn that there are other places for her to turn now.”

 

Ali had known for a while that Ashlyn’s childhood wasn’t easy, even with the way Ashlyn would downplay things. She knew her relationship with her parents was complex and fragile. She thought about her own relationship with her mother. She thought about being a little girl and always having someone who was not only there to protect her, but to guide her. She tries to imagine what it would have been like if her mother hadn’t been there to guide her through her sadness or anger or fear. She couldn’t help but feel hot tears well up when she thought about a small, frustrated Ashlyn, with no one to turn to.

 

“There was always a lot of love in that house. Mike and Tammye have always loved, and been so proud of, their kids. But it takes a little more than love sometimes.” Grandma Harris finishes sadly.

 

“I think they’re learning that now. They’re trying to at least.” Ali hopes she isn’t overstepping with her observation.

 

“I think you’re right.” Grandma says. “They’re all still figuring it out. Ashlyn hates to be a burden. She’s had to do a lot of things on her own, and she doesn’t like to ask for help. She likes to be the one to hold everyone else together. I think that’s why she stayed with Casey so long. She was someone to take care of who never offered to help her in return, so she never felt like a burden. It was easy for her to be in a relationship where both sides were focused on the same person.”

 

“Do you think I make her feel like a burden?” Ali asks, panicked by the thought.

 

“No, I think she makes herself feel like a burden. She needs to give you a chance to support her and see that it’s safe.”

 

“Thank you for sharing that with me, Mrs. Harris.” Ali says sincerely. “You’re right that it doesn’t excuse her behavior, but at least I understand why she did it. We’re very close, but it’s really only been a few months, and I have to show Ashlyn that she can trust me. Show her that I can be a safe place too.”

 

“Oh you’re a good girl.” Grandma says with a grin. “Now come help me with this before you go wake up Ashlyn.”

 

“Oh, um, I don’t know—“Ali starts.

 

“I know, I know.” The old woman says with an eye roll. “You’re a terrible cook. Aren’t you lucky that it’s never too late to learn something.” She finishes with a wink.

 

“I hope you have Chinese takeout on speed dial.” Ali quips, reluctantly getting up to help.

 

“This,” Grandma Harris says holding the item up, “is a vegetable peeler.” She hands Ali the peeler and a bag of carrots. “It’s a handy little thing. Pretty soon you won’t know what to do without one.”

 

“I think I’ll have to get one first.” Ali replies.

 

The pair work together happily, Grandma showing Ali how to properly peel and chop carrots and onions as they chat. Grandma Harris asks Ali lots of questions about her family and friends so she can learn more about the girl her granddaughter cares so deeply for. Ali asks questions about what Ashlyn was like a child and a teen. Ali shares little tidbits about her day-to-day life with Ashlyn that the old woman hasn’t heard and it makes her happy to hear how good things are. Of course, the conversation eventually drifts back to Ashlyn and her current situation.

 

“She was so focused on training and getting through these tryouts. I don’t think either one of us even stopped to consider that we might not make it through both days. It always felt like a given. She’s the kind of person who needs to prove herself, so to feel like she wasn’t given the full opportunity to do so must be frustrating.” Ali says.

 

“It’s an awfully long way to fall, from what she wanted to where she might very well be now. She was ready to give it all up and go to Europe, but she believed that it would be her choice to make.” Grandma adds.

 

Ali falls quiet. Ashlyn had made Germany an option because being with Ali was more important to her. Ali wonders if maybe Europe could be the solution here too.

 

“I think maybe I’ll go wake her up, if that’s okay with you?” Ali asks.

 

“That’s probably a good idea. We’ll be ready to eat here pretty soon.”

 

Ali washes her hands at the kitchen sink before heading down the hallway off the kitchen to the guest room she knew was really Ashlyn’s. She slowly opens the door and quietly makes her way in. Ashlyn is lying on her stomach, her right arm tucked under the pillow, while the other is pulled in close to her body, bent at the elbow with her hand resting near her shoulder. She’s kept herself to the left side of the bed, where she usually sleeps, leaving room for Ali to crawl in beside her. As Ali sits there beside her, she leans over to pick up a copy of some magazine off the floor and starts flipping through the pages, just enjoying the quiet moment for a little while. Ashlyn wears only a sports bra and sweats, the covers of the bed pushed down by her feet. Ali lets the magazine rest in her lap as she skims an article, freeing a hand to gently run through Ash’s hair. Ashlyn let’s out a happy hum and shifts on her side, moving a little closer to Ali. Ali moves her hand to Ashlyn’s cheek and rubs it with the back of her hand until Ashlyn’s eyes flutter open. She smiles initially but then her face falls.

 

“Fuck.” Ashlyn groans, rolling onto her back and throwing an arm over her face.

 

“That’s my favorite greeting.” Ali says. “Although I’m partial to ‘not you again’ as well.”

 

“What are you doing here?” Ashlyn asks quietly.

 

“Oh! I forgot about that one! That’s high on the list too.” Ali teases.

 

“I don’t mean it like that.”

 

“I know babe, I’m just messing with you.” Ali leans down and kisses Ashlyn’s forehead.

 

“Why are you being nice to me?”

 

“Because you’re having a tough day and I can understand that. Now will you please look at me?” Ali pries the arm off of Ashlyn’s face and meets her sad eyes. “Hi.”

 

“Hi.” Ashlyn lets out a heavy sigh and sits up. “I guess we need to talk, huh?”

 

“We do. But not right now. Right now, you need a few minutes to wake up, and we need to eat the delicious dinner your grandmother has made. But later, we’ll talk.”

 

Ashlyn nods before resting her head on Ali’s shoulder. They sit together, without talking, until Grandma Harris calls for them from the kitchen. Ashlyn stands and throws on a shirt, running a hand through her hair a couple of times to try and settle it.

 

“Oh babe.” Ali says with a laugh, meeting her on the other side of the bed. “You have a serious case of nap face.”

 

“You love my nap face.”

 

“That I do.”

 

Grandma Harris is thrilled to see Ashlyn smiling when she enters the kitchen for dinner. The three women enjoy their meal, and no one brings up tryouts, although they are all thinking about it. When dinner is over, Grandma tries to clean up, but Ashlyn insists it’s her job. Ali joins her, loading the dishwasher while Ashlyn hand washes the pots and pans, and wiping down the table, while Ashlyn takes care of the counters.

 

“Do you want to go sit out back with me?” Ashlyn asks, hanging the dishtowel over the handle on the oven door.

 

“Yeah, I’d like that.” Ali agrees, grabbing her jacket as she follows Ashlyn outside.

 

They sit beside each other on the steps of the deck that lead down to the small yard, looking out at the beach beyond it. They’re quiet for a few moments, gathering their thoughts. It’s Ashlyn who speaks first.

 

“Even though you’re being really great to me right now, I understand if you’re angry.”

 

“Do you?” It’s a genuine question. Ali isn’t trying to provoke, she just wants to know if Ashlyn gets it.

 

“I think so.” Ashlyn stares down at her hands. “I pushed you away instead of telling you how I was feeling.”

 

Ali nods. “It hurts, Ash. When you shut me out.”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“You can’t run away every time you get hurt or upset. You didn’t just push me away emotionally, you physically left me.”

 

Ashlyn isn’t sure what to say. She knows Ali is right, and when she puts herself in Ali’s place, she’d be not only angry, but also afraid.

 

“It can’t be like this in the future.” Ali continues when Ash doesn’t say anything. “I love you and I think about the future all the time, but it won’t exist if you won’t let me be here for you. You can ask for time alone, you can tell me that you need to come here and be in your happy place. But you have to talk to me.”

 

“I will.”

 

“Okay.” Ali looks at her expectantly.

 

“Now?” Ashlyn was hoping she could apologize and smooth things over, without having to do this part.

 

“Yes, now. Do you not trust me?”

 

“Of course of I trust you!” Ashlyn shifts on the step so she is facing Ali and takes both of her hands. “I trust you more than anyone in my life. I trust you more than my grandma!”

 

“Don’t get carried away.” Ali says with a small laugh. She looks into Ashlyn’s eyes. “Why is it so hard for you to talk to me about this then? Why can’t you let me support you?”

 

Ashlyn lets go of Ali’s hands. “It’s not your job to fix me, Al. I don’t want to weigh you down with my issues and insecurities. Especially not when you had another day of tryouts to focus on.”

 

“Ashlyn, did you even consider the thought that by not talking to me, you were actually making things more difficult for me? It was so hard to focus on anything other than you and if you were alright.”

 

Ashlyn looks away in guilt. “I’m so sorry” She mumbles. “That’s exactly what I don’t want. I don’t want you to have to think about me or my feelings at all.”

 

“Do you hear yourself?!” Ali says, leaning around Ashlyn to find her eyes. “You just asked your girlfriend not to consider your feelings. That isn’t how relationships work. If you want me, you’ll have to take me caring about you and considering your feelings. The same way you care about me and consider mine.”

 

Again, Ashlyn doesn’t say anything, but she does take Ali’s hand again, interlocking their fingers and gently rubbing the back of Ali’s hand with her thumb.

 

“Babe,” Ali says, placing a hand on the back of Ashlyn’s neck. “it’s not my job to fix you, but it is my choice to support you and be here for you. This is what I want.”

 

Ashlyn takes a deep breath and squeezes Ali’s hand. “I want that too. I think. It’s new territory for me I’m sorry for fucking it all up.”

 

“You didn’t. Just talk to me.”

 

“I feel like a total fucking failure. I gave absolutely everything I had and it wasn’t good enough.”

 

“But you don’t know that. They haven’t said it’s a no.”

 

“Out of all the people who got cut from your group, how many of them do you think have a real shot of making this team?”

 

Now it’s Ali who looks away. Ashlyn was right, all the women who hadn’t returned on day two, were the weak links from day one. She didn’t think it was likely any of them would be getting good news.

 

“You are good enough. You have the skill and experience to back that up. But we don’t know what they were looking for. Not making the team doesn’t mean you’re a failure, it just means it wasn’t the right fit.”

 

“Is that how you would feel if you were in my place right now?”

 

“No.” Ali answers honestly. “I’d be pissed. And sad. And I’d probably feel like I wasn’t good enough. But it would help to have someone tell me to not be so hard on myself.”

 

Ashlyn nods.

 

“It’s okay if you don’t feel any better about it. If you want to cry or yell or wallow, we can do that okay? You and I are a team. And like any other team that means that we win together and we lose together.”

 

“Right, which means we should be celebrating you and your accomplishment and how far you made it.”

 

“No, it means we do both. We can be proud of both of us because we both worked our asses off.”

 

“Don’t work your ass off. I like your ass, I want to keep it around.”

 

Ali rolls her eyes but is relieved that Ashlyn can still make jokes, even though she’s still clearly hurting.

 

“Well you can thank all that hard work for this ass.” Ali plays back.

 

Ashlyn leans in a kisses Ali, which Ali reciprocates with a kiss of her own.

 

“Ash?” Ali asks hesitantly.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“What happens if I make this team and you don’t?”

 

“Oh.”

 

“I’m sorry, that was insensitive.”

 

“No,” Ashlyn says shaking her head. “It wasn’t. It’s a good question.”

 

“What about Europe?” Ali asks.

 

“What do you mean?” Ashlyn is confused. Germany had been an option before they decided to try for the Pride, and they had agreed to revisit the idea if Ali hadn’t made the team. She wasn’t sure how it fit in now.

 

“I mean, what if we looked into options in Europe. I’ve been in touch with my agent and I could have him look into what’s out there. Maybe he could even take you on as a client. Even if we can’t end up on the same team, maybe we could be close enough—”

 

“Hold on.” Ashlyn cuts her off. “You mean if we both don’t make it, you want to go to Europe?”

 

“No. Well, maybe. Regardless if I make the team or not.”

 

“If you make that team, you’re not turning it down.”

 

“But you’re willing to for me.”

 

“I know but this is different.”

 

“How is it different? Ash, this is _your_ dream! I mean, don’t get me wrong, I want to play for the Pride more than anything, but you were training for this before we even met. This is what you’ve been working for, for at least a year! You deserve to have this!” Ali had gotten worked up with her little speech, tears filling her eyes, and her voice raising an octave. “I want you to have this.” Her voice is quieter now as a fat tear rolls down her cheek.

 

“Aw, babe.” Ashlyn says wiping the tear away with her thumb. “Please don’t cry.”

 

“I’m sorry.” Ali sniffles. “I’m not trying to hijack your feelings.”

 

“You aren’t. Actually, it kind of makes me feel better to hear you say that. It makes me feel less alone in how I feel.”

 

“That’s why I want you to talk to me. So you don’t have to feel lonely. I’m always here for you.”

 

“I get that now. Thank you.”

 

Ashlyn wraps Ali in a hug and they hold each other for a few minutes as Ali calms down and her tears stop falling. Eventually, Ali speaks.

 

“So. About Europe?”

 

“Al, I meant what I said. If you make the roster, I want you to say yes. You said it yourself, you want this more than anything, and I want you to take the opportunity if you can.”

 

“But what about you? What about your dream?”

 

“Dreams change. Sometimes life throws things at you and you have to find a new one. I’ll need a minute to lick my wounds, but I’ll find something that’s just as important.”

 

“You’ve given up so much, Ashlyn. I don’t want you to have to give up anything else.”

 

“What if I promise you I’ll think about it. Once we know for sure what the situation is, I’ll really give it some thought.”

 

“And you promise that if what you really, truly want is to play, you’ll be honest and tell me?

 

“I promise.”

 

“Alright.” Ali agrees.

 

“Will you tell me how today went?” Ashlyn asks.

 

Ali tells her all about how her day went, not holding back on the details and allowing herself to be proud of the work she put in. Ashlyn listens intently, smiling and laughing at every funny or impressive story. She doesn’t feel anything but love and hope for her favorite girl. When Ali finishes, Ashlyn throws her arm around Ali’s shoulder.

 

“God, I’m so proud of you, Al. You crushed it.”

 

“I hope so. But right now, you and I are in the same boat. We can freak out together.”

 

“Maybe we can distract each other instead.” Ashlyn says a bit suggestively.

 

“Oh yeah?” Ali plays back. “What exactly did you have in mind?”

 

Ali stands and reaches a hand out to pull Ashlyn up, which she accepts.

 

“Nothing we can do at my grandma’s house, that’s for sure.” She pulls Ali into her and kisses her deeply, letting her hands roam down to Ali’s ass.

 

“Mmm.” Ali hums happily. “You love making me wait.”

 

“You have no idea.” Ashlyn replies, leaning in to kiss Ali again.

 

Ali and Ashlyn stay the night in Satellite Beach. They join Grandma Harris for a couple of reruns of _Law & Order: SVU_ and a rowdy game of Scrabble (which Grandma won by a landslide) before turning in for the night.

 

“Do you want to know why I decided to drive out here last night?” Ashlyn asks as she wraps her arms tightly around Ali as they snuggle together in bed.

 

“Why’s that?” Ali asks sleepily.

 

“I couldn’t sleep without you and I didn’t want to wake you up in the middle of the night before your big day. I thought coming here would calm me down enough to fall asleep but it didn’t work.”

 

“I had trouble sleeping too.” Ali admits.

 

“I’m sorry I made everything more difficult for you.”

 

“We all go through shit, Ash. I understand. No more running away or shutting me out, but I understand.”

 

“No more. I swear.” Ashlyn promises with a kiss to the side of Ali’s head. “I love you.”

 

“I love you too.”

 

In the morning, Ashlyn gets up before everyone else and makes breakfast. When they’re done, Ali insists on cleaning up as a thank you for being an unexpected guest. Grandma Harris tries to protest, but ultimately loses when Ashlyn ushers her into the living room with a mug of coffee to go read her latest romance novel. Ali has to leave shortly after breakfast and cleaning up to get to work at Astronomy, and Ashlyn, who doesn’t work until that evening, follows a couple of hours later.

 

Over the next week, Ashlyn and Ali try and focus on work as much as they can. Ashlyn isn’t quite herself, and for the most part, Ali just lets her be. They have morning coffee on the balcony every day, which is when Ashlyn often opens up about how she’s feeling. Ali is grateful that Ashlyn is talking with her. In the evening, Ashlyn mostly just wants to lay on the couch with her head in Ali’s lap. When they aren’t working, they keep themselves busy by taking Jenson and Abigail to the park and the children’s museum. They go on a movie date with Alex and Serv and even join Kelley, Crystal, and Becky for 80s costume bowling night.

 

On Tuesday morning, Ashlyn is sitting on the balcony with her coffee, waiting for Ali to join her, when her phone rings.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Good morning.” A man’s voice replies. Ashlyn recognizes the accent immediately. “Am I speaking with Ashlyn Harris?”

 

“You are.”

 

“Hi Ashlyn, this Tom Sermanni with the Orlando Pride. How are you today?”

 

“I’m fine, sir. Thank you. And yourself?”

 

“I’m great, thank you. I’m calling to officially welcome you to the Pride. You’ll get a follow-up call from the office to schedule a time to come in and go over the contract details, but I like to make the initial call myself.”

 

Ashlyn doesn’t say anything.

 

“Ashlyn? Have I lost you?”

 

“Oh, uh, no. I’m sorry, you sort of caught me off guard.”

 

“Weren’t you expecting my call?”

 

“To be honest, when I wasn’t asked back for the second day, I thought my chances were shot.”

 

“Didn’t Lloyd speak with you?” Tom Asks, confused.

 

“No, not about this.”

 

“Well I’m sorry for the miscommunication then. We’ve had our eye on you for a while. I knew before we broke for lunch that I had my keepers for this season. We didn’t ask you back for day two because we didn’t need to see anything else, and I wanted to focus on other positions.”

 

“Wow. Thank you so much. You don’t know what this means to me.”

 

“We’re happy to have you, Ashlyn.”

 

“Thank you so much.”

 

Ali walked out right as Ashlyn was hanging up.

 

“Who was that?”

 

“I did it.” Ashlyn says, looking stunned.

 

“Did what, babe?” Ali says sitting down beside Ashlyn and picking up her mug.

 

“I made the team.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was that for having a trick up my sleeve? Did you love it? Hate it? See it coming a mile away? 
> 
> Let me know!


	30. At Least I'd Have Enough Doubt to Lie to Myself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one has about three chapters left, so I hope you enjoy it as it winds down. There's still some good stuff to come so I hope you'll stick with me. Thank you so much for reading, and please let me know what you think in the comments!
> 
> warning: this one gets a little steamy.
> 
> Find me on tumblr at letter-know.tumblr.com

“I made the team.”

 

Ali sloshes coffee all over the place as she hastily sets her mug down and flings her body at Ashlyn. She straddles her lap and takes Ashlyn’s face in both of her hands, peppering kisses all over her face, her cheeks, her forehead, her nose, lips, and chin.

 

“I’m so proud of you!” Ali gets out between kisses. “I knew you deserved this.”

 

“Okay, okay!” Ashlyn says leaning away from Ali’s assault. “I get it! You love me!” She jokes.

 

Ali stops her attack but still holds Ashlyn’s face in her hands, looking deeply into her eyes. “I _do_ love you. So much.”

 

“I love you too.” Ashlyn leans in and kisses Ali soundly on the mouth, which Ali happily reciprocates. After a few moments, she climbs off Ashlyn’s lap and sits beside her again, threading her arm through her love’s, and reaching for her coffee with the other.

 

The pair had enjoyed their morning coffee, but as the day dragged on, the celebratory atmosphere dissolved into tension and anxiety. Now, Ali sits on the couch, leaned into Ashlyn’s side, with her phone sitting on her lap. Ashlyn holds Ali’s hand, lazily playing with her fingers as they listen to records and wait for Ali’s call. Ali periodically looks lovingly up at Ashlyn and whispers, _“I’m so proud of you.”_   And despite how Ali feels about her own situation, Ashlyn can tell she means it every time.

 

Ali sighs as she curls into Ashlyn’s side that night. She finally hands over her phone for Ashlyn to plug into the charger on the bedside table. She lets out a long sigh.

 

“I should buy another beside table.” Ali says thoughtfully.

 

“But it wouldn’t match.” Ashlyn replies.

 

“I guess we should just buy a new set then.”

 

“We could go to Ikea!” Ashlyn suggests enthusiastically.

 

“You just want to go for the meatballs.” Ali teases.

 

“That’s just one of the many great things about Ikea. It’s like Disney World with furniture!”

 

Ali lets out a laugh and Ashlyn stares down at her with a grin on her face. It’s the first time she’s laughed since this morning.

 

“Maybe Disney World is just Ikea with rides.” Ali says with a nose-crinkling smile.

 

Ashlyn kisses the top of Ali’s head.

 

“We should consider a new mattress too.” Ali says.

 

“But not from Ikea.” Ashlyn adds.

 

“No, we’ll get something really nice like a Tempur-Pedic or something.”

 

“Can we jump on the bed with a glass of wine like in the commercials?” Ashlyn asks.

 

“I’d rather drink the wine, and then do other things on the bed.” Ali replies, suggestively.

 

“Oh yeah?” Ashlyn says, placing a kiss on Ali’s lips.

 

“Yeah.” Ali says in a breathy voice.

 

She crashes their lips together, allowing things to heat up between them. But after a few minutes of making out, Ali pulls away with another heavy sigh.

 

“I’m sorry.” She mumbles.

 

“Hey, don’t be sorry.” Ashlyn says reassuringly. “We don’t have to.”

 

“I want to.” Ali says quickly. “I’ve been waiting to do _this,_ ” she says gesturing between them, “forever. But my mind isn’t in the right place.” Ali says with a shake of her head.

 

“Al, it’s been like two weeks.” Ashlyn says with a laugh. “I don’t think that quite counts as _forever_ , but I get it. I don’t want to do anything you don’t feel good about, okay? I’m with you because I love you, not because you’re good in bed.”

 

“But I _am_ good in bed.” Ali says, narrowing her eyes at her girlfriend.

 

“More than good.” Ashlyn quickly agrees. “Phenomenal.”

 

“That’s what I thought, Harris.” Ali says with a peck. She lays her head back on Ashlyn’s shoulder.

 

They fall quiet for a couple of minutes before Ali breaks the silence with a small voice.

 

“They didn’t call.”

 

“But they will.” Ashlyn says, rubbing Ali’s arm. “Either way they will.”

 

“I really wanted to play again.”

 

“We don’t know anything yet, Al. And if it doesn’t go the way we want it to, we can still talk to your agent. We can talk about Eur—”

 

“Europe, I know. Babe, I know you’re willing but I’m not letting you turn this opportunity down. I don’t need to think about it. I just need to settle my disappointment and find what I want to focus my energy on now. I think what I really need is for you to tell me that it’s okay to be crushed. Just for a little while.”

 

“Al.” Ashlyn says seriously, shifting so she can look into Ali’s eyes. “You can feel whatever you need to feel, for as long as you need to feel it. I mean, I won’t let you get lost in it, but don’t put a timeline on your feelings, okay? I still think it’s a little early to know how this is going to work out, but I promise you I’m going to support you no matter what. An incredibly wise, incredibly good-looking woman once told me that we’re a team, which means we win together and we lose together. No matter what, we do it together.”

 

“She must have been really hot because that’s so cheesy!” Ali jokes, feeling a little better at Ashlyn’s words.

 

The next morning, Ashlyn was lounging in bed while Ali flitted around the room, getting ready to meet Kelley, Becky, and Crystal for lunch. Kelley and Ali made it a point to see each other in person at least once a week, sometimes just the two of them, and sometimes, they’d invite another friend or three, but never Ashlyn. Ash wasn’t offended by this, she got plenty of time to spend with Ali and Kelley and any of their other friends. This was a weekly ritual started well before Ashlyn was a part of the picture, and is a time for Ali to focus on putting love and support into her friendships. Ashlyn also made a point to spend some time with her friends, and both Ashlyn and Ali try and take time apart to be alone every now and then too. This proves to be far more difficult for Ashlyn, who would rather sit together working on their own things, then be alone.

 

Ashlyn had gotten up that morning and made coffee, delivering a mug to Ali who was still in bed, before taking a quick shower. She didn’t have any plans for the day so when she returned to the bedroom, she’d only thrown on sweats and a sports bra before getting distracted. When Ali returned from her shower, Ashlyn became even more distracted, watching Ali as she carefully got ready for her afternoon out. She loves watching the way she moves through her routine, towel drying her hair and moisturizing her arms and legs. The way she pulls on her jeans and doesn’t put her shirt on until after her makeup is done, but before she does her hair. She loves the faces she makes as she blends her foundation in, and how she carefully twists the brush as she applies her mascara. Ali hums quietly as she gets ready for the day, refusing to use her phone to play music like she normally does, and Ashlyn misses the way she absent-mindedly sways to the music that plays.

 

Ali is curling her hair, and putting a little extra work into her look today because she wants the boost. She’s always believed that if you look good, you feel good, and if you feel good, you play good. Sometimes the game you’re playing is life, so today, she wanted to look good and take on the world. She’s just set her curling iron down and begun to gently rake her fingers through her hair to piece out her curls when her phone starts ringing. She stares at the screen with wide eyes as it continues to ring.

 

“Al?” Ashlyn asks, trying to get Ali to move.

 

“I can’t.” Ali says shaking her head.

 

“You are not letting that call go to voicemail! You are Ali Krieger, warrior princess, and you are not afraid of a phone call!” Ashlyn encourages.

 

“I think that’s Xena, actually.”

 

“Ali!”

 

“Oh, shit! Right!” Ali says fumbling with the phone, sliding her thumb across the screen to answer.

 

Ashlyn sits with bated breath as Ali takes the call. She tries to read her face but it seems to be stuck in a permanent state of shock, and she’s using her Professional Phone Voice so her tone doesn’t give anything away.

 

“I will, thank you.” Ali says. “Thank you so much for the opportunity.” There’s a final pause. “You as well. Bye.” She finishes.

 

Ali slides her phone into her back pocket and covers her face with both her hands. Ashlyn bolts up and wraps her arms around Ali, still unsure of what kind of reaction she’s having.

 

“That was Tom.” Ali says.

 

“Please tell me you mean Sermanni and not that the bar was calling you to take an extra shift?”

 

“I made the roster.”

 

Ashlyn lifts Ali into her arms, and Ali immediately wraps her legs around Ashlyn’s waist. Ashlyn kisses her, hard and Ali lets out a small, happy moan, running her hands through Ashlyn’s still damp hair.

 

“I’m so fucking proud of you, Al. You have no idea.” Ashlyn says placing Ali back on the ground.

 

“It’s not guaranteed to be long term.” Ali explains. “The roster is heavy and at least four of us will be cut. Not you, of course, he pretty much told you you’re in for the season. But he made it clear to me that pre-season is the time to earn my spot.”

 

“Then you have nothing to worry about. We’ve seen the picks from both the college and expansion drafts and you’re easily the best and most experienced defender, and even with the time off, you’re more fit than most of them too. If they want a strong backline, you’re the key.” Ashlyn says seriously.

 

“I can’t get complacent though.”

 

“And you won’t because you never do. Which is yet another reason why the team will be lucky to have you. You’ve got the speed, and the skill, and the ass…”

 

“Ashlyn.” Ali says rolling her eyes and playfully slapping her girlfriend’s arm. “Be serious.”

 

“I am deadly serious, sweetheart. I would never joke about your ass.” Ashlyn says, running her hands down Ali’s back, down to her butt, and giving it a good squeeze with both hands.

 

“I’m well aware. But it has nothing to do with how well I play football.”

 

“Oh, but the goalkeepers appreciate it. And everyone knows a happy goalkeeper is a successful goalkeeper.”

 

“Oh, is that so?”

 

“It is.” Ashlyn nods.

 

“And you don’t mind sharing with the other keepers?”

 

“Well I would prefer if they used it for inspiration without touching, but it’s your body, so that’s up to you.”

 

“I think I’m a one keeper kind of gal.” Ali says with a peck to Ashlyn’s lips.

 

“Oh man, I hope that keeper is me.” Ashlyn says, leaning in and kissing Ali deeply.

 

The pair easily gets carried away, letting the kiss lead to another, and another, getting more heated and hungry with each one. Ali walks Ashlyn backwards towards the bed before pushing her backwards and climbing on top of her. The kissing turns to full-on making out with tongues exploring and hands roaming. After a few minutes Ali sits up and grins devilishly down at Ashlyn.

 

“Wow you’re pretty.” Ashlyn says, a little breathless.

 

Ali tosses her hair over her shoulder with quick flip of her wrist, a confident smirk on her face. Ashlyn reaches up and uses her thumb to wipe away some stray lip-gloss under Ali’s bottom lip, nearly all of which is gone from her mouth.

 

“Sorry babe.” Ashlyn says with a guilty smile. “I know you just did your make up.”

 

“And there’s no way I’d rather ruin it.” Ali says, pulling her shirt over her head and leaning back down to kiss Ashlyn once again.

 

Ashlyn wraps her arms around Ali and flips them, so she hovers over her now. She begins to run kisses down Ali’s neck and across her shoulders, sliding her hands under Ali to unclasp her bra. But before she can complete the task, Ali’s phone starts ringing again.

 

“Oh!” Ali says in surprise at the vibration in her back pocket. “Shit.” She mutters. “Hold on.” She reaches under herself and removes her phone from her pocket while Ashlyn stares at her with raised brows.

 

“Hi Kell.” Ali says, trying not to sound out of breath.

 

“How am I here before you?!” Kelley asks.

 

“Yeah, about that…”

 

“Don’t you dare.” Kelley warns.

 

“I got a call from the Pride today and I made the team! So I—” Ali starts.

 

“Great! Congrats! All the more reason for you to get over here so we can celebrate!” Kelley says.

 

“I’m sort of already celebrating.” Ali says with a giggle, as Ashlyn resumes kissing Ali’s neck.

 

“Oh gross!” Kelley groans, picking up on Ali’s tone and hearing a little too much noise in the background.

 

“I can end your suffering right now if you let me hang up and get back to—”

 

“Please don’t finish that sentence.”

 

Ashlyn is unbuttoning Ali’s jeans and working to pull them down her thighs while Ali carries on.

 

“I’d tell you I’m sorry, but I’m not.” Ali says trying to still Ashlyn now that she’s successfully removed her pants and is running kisses down her stomach and is inching closer to her hips.

 

“Are you sure you want to bail? I mean I thought married people didn’t have sex anymore.”

 

“Very funny.” Ali replies. “Yes, I’m sure. I love you, Kell, but all I want to do today is stay home and fuck my girlfriend.” Ali says looking right at Ashlyn as she says it.

 

“Wow. Crude.” Kelley says. “Couldn’t you have been like a normal person and text me some lame excuse instead of being late and forcing me to have this conversation with you?!”

 

“And what would you have thought if I text you a lame excuse?”

 

“That you were probably staying home to have sex with your girlfriend.”

 

“Exactly.” Ali says, satisfied.

 

“I said _probably_!” Kelley argues. “At least I’d have enough doubt to lie to myself!”

 

“If you want, I can hang up and text—No!” Ali cuts herself off when Ashlyn tries to make her way between her legs. “You get back up here. I have other plans for you.” She finishes with a suggestive tone.

 

“Nope! Absolutely not!” Kelley yells into the phone. “This has gone too far. We’re not friends anymore and I’m hanging up and never speaking to you again.”

 

“I’ll text you later.” Ali says distractedly.

 

“I hope you get divorced!”

 

“Bye Kell.” Ali says and hangs up the phone.

 

Ali practically throws her phone on the bedside table as she pulls Ashlyn up to meet her lips again in another heated kiss. She reaches for the waistband of Ashlyn’s sweats and starts to push them down over her hips, dragging her underwear down with them.

 

“Take these off.” Ali whispers hotly in Ashlyn’s ear. “And then get up here.”

 

Ashlyn’s eyes go wide when she realizes what Ali is suggesting.

 

“You mean you want me--?”

 

“To sit on my face, yes.” Ali finishes for her, matter-of-factly.

 

Ashlyn is shocked in the best way. It’s usually her who is blunt and asks exactly what she wants, but today it’s Ali who isn’t afraid to ask. Ali’s control and confidence sends a shiver down Ashlyn’s spine and she eagerly follows Ali’s request. Ashlyn straddles Ali’s face, hovering over her a moment to make sure she’s in the right place. Ali shoots Ashlyn one of her biggest, classic smiles and then licks her lips as Ashlyn slowly lowers herself to give Ali exactly what she wants.

 

Ali happily laps at the wetness she finds, slowly dragging her tongue through Ashlyn’s folds, and feeling her shudder when she finds her clit. Ali lets out happy hums and noises as she licks, sucks, and grazes, Ashlyn perched atop her, mouth open, panting quietly. Her eyes close and she throws her head back every time Ali hits a particularly sensitive spot, or enters her with her tongue. As Ashlyn nears her peak, she’s grinding down on Ali’s face, rocking her hips to heighten her moment and Ali is loving it, gripping Ashlyn’s thighs so hard she thinks she might leave bruises. Finally Ashlyn stills her movements, as her body shakes above Ali, expletives tumbling from her lips as she comes. Ashlyn may have stopped moving, but Ali doesn’t, doubling her effort as she quickly brings Ashlyn to the edge again. This time the short-haired brunette doesn’t make a sound as she comes, hard, not even able to catch her breath. Ali finally begins to slow the movement of her tongue and gently brings her down.

 

Ashlyn needs a minute to recover once she climbs off of Ali and lays beside her. Her head is spinning and she can’t quite seem to form a sentence.

 

“That—You’re—I—Whoa.” Ashlyn tries.

 

“Thanks.” Ali giggles.

 

“I can’t feel my toes.”

 

“That’s a new one.” Ali says.

 

“You’re really good at that. Like, _really_ good.”

 

“That’s because I was enjoying myself.” Ali says with a grin. “I always enjoy you.”

 

“Thanks for skipping lunch for me.” Ashlyn says.

 

“Who says you need to leave the house to eat out?” Ali asks with a wink.

 

“Why is it that whenever we’re in bed, it becomes the Ali Krieger Comedy Hour?”

 

“We’re not always in bed, sometimes we’re on the couch. Oh, and that one time on the kitchen count—“

 

Ashlyn cuts Ali off with a searing kiss, and Ali grabs the back of Ashlyn’s neck to hold her there. The kiss is passionate, but not as frenzied as before. Ashlyn takes her time kissing Ali, enjoying every moment while she slowly, gently drags her nails down Ali’s side, causing her skin to erupt in goosebumps. She continues gently caressing Ali, moving her hands all over until they find her breasts. Ashlyn moves her mouth to one of Ali’s nipples and bites down lightly resulting in a soft whimper. She moves to Ali’s other breast, lavishing it with the same attention, while she runs a hand lower and lower finally coming to rest between Ali’s legs.

 

While Ali enjoys everything they do in the bedroom, her favorite way to come is staring into Ashlyn’s eyes. She loves the feel of Ashlyn’s tongue on her, but she loves even more having Ashlyn with her in that most intense moment. She likes to listen to her breathing as she moves in and out of her with two long fingers. She likes to watch Ashlyn’s face as she circles her clit, seeing the little smirk that appears when she involuntarily jerks when Ashlyn touches her just the right way. And Ashlyn loves it too, knowing she can drive Ali closer to the edge when she whispers in her ear, or brushes her hair out of her face to get a better look at her. Ashlyn likes watching Ali too, the both of them studying each other as the waves of pleasure come crashing over Ali.

 

Ashlyn had started slowly, teasing Ali as much as she could before entering her with two fingers and moving at a patient pace. She kisses Ali languidly as she continues to work her, increasing her speed ever so slightly. Its several long minutes of connection and intense intimacy before Ashlyn finally really picks up her pace and Ali is moaning and coming undone in her arms. Like always, Ali forces her eyes open as long as she can, looking into Ashlyn’s eyes and reverently muttering her name.

 

The pair don’t get out of bed until late in the afternoon, after another round and a nice nap. Ali’s perfectly curled hair is now wild and messy but somehow still works for her. Her eyeliner is smeared under her eyes, but Ashlyn can’t get over how pretty she looks. Ashlyn, having not even completed getting dressed, looks like she’s just woken up from a restless night’s sleep.

 

Having told Kelley her good news when the spoke earlier, word has gotten out to several of their friends, and Ali eventually responds to the congratulatory texts that she’s been ignoring. She texts Kelley and Alex and they all agree that a celebration dinner is in order so Ali and Ashlyn, reluctantly start working to make themselves presentable again. Alex brings their teammate Allie Long with her to dinner, and everyone has a great time getting to know each other better, filled with the potential and excitement the season brings.

 

It isn’t until the drive home, that the anxiety that Ali had only just left behind, tries to catch up with her again.

 

“Allie seems really cool.” Ashlyn states.

 

“Yeah.” Ali replies. “She’s a lot weirder than she looks like she’d be.”

 

“I know, isn’t it great?” Ashlyn says with a laugh. “She’s wild. I like her.”

 

“Me too.” Ali says sadly.

 

Ashlyn pulls her eyes away from the road momentarily to eye Ali.

 

“You don’t sound too convinced about that.” Ashlyn says.

 

“No, I do. Really.” Ali says, her brow furrowed. “It’s just,” she sighs, “I don’t want to get too attached.”

 

“Because you’re not sure we’ll all stay on the team?”

 

Ali nods.

 

“It’s okay if you’re still feeling nervous about the whole thing, but this doesn’t really seem like you. You’re always willing to make a new friend.”

 

“I don’t know why I’m so freaked out still. I don’t want to go into this with some mental block that’s going to keep me from being at my best. It’s just been a while since I’ve been in this world, and I’d forgotten how uncertain it can all be.”

 

“Is it worth it?” Ashlyn asks. “Is it worth the risk of the uncertainty to maybe be a part of this?”

 

Ali doesn’t answer right away. She’s always liked to be sure of things, to know what she can count on so she doesn’t get hurt. Playing in Germany had been different, when they signed an international player, they were making a season-long commitment. She didn’t run the risk of giving it her all only to be dropped or traded away a few weeks later.

 

“What if one of us gets traded? We’ve been so intent on sticking together, I didn’t even consider that one of us could be sent somewhere else.”

 

“Is that what you’re so worried about?” Ashlyn asks with a small smile.

 

“I really want this, but I really want you more.” Ali says with tears in her eyes.

 

“Aw, Al.” Ashlyn says reaching for her hand across the console. “I’m so sorry this has you so torn up and you haven’t been able to enjoy this accomplishment. You worked so hard, and then you put all your feelings aside to take care of me when I freaked out, and now I’ve let you sit there having a panic attack. I’m sorry, love.”

 

“I feel stupid.”

 

“Please don’t. You don’t deserve to feel like that. I totally understand where that fear comes from, we’ve absolutely put ourselves in a position now where our fate isn’t really in our control anymore. I mean, when is it ever, right? But I hear you.”

 

“So what do we do?”

 

“Well, you know I think you’re one of the best damn players I’ve ever seen, and I stand by that, but we have to be real here and acknowledge that you and I aren’t really on anyone’s radar right now. We’ve been away for a while, and essentially walked in off the street. We’re not exactly leverageable.”

 

“You have a point.” Ali admits. “I’m more likely to just be cut. And while that would suck, it would be okay. I’d get to stay here with you and there are lots of other things I can do if I think about it.”

 

“And if it did happen, and one of us was traded, we would figure it out. I could ‘retire’ and follow you wherever you go. Or we could try the long-distance thing just for the season. I really think we could figure it out. I also don’t think it’s likely.”

 

“You’re right. I _know_ you’re right. This was so much easier when it was just me and I didn’t care about what happened.” Ali says.

 

Ashlyn’s face falls. Suddenly she feels guilty that she’s the factor that’s causing Ali such stress and fear. She hates that she’s the thing that’s standing in the way of what Ali wants to be doing. Ali notices the change in Ashlyn and immediately wants to eat her words.

 

“Oh, Ash! No! I didn’t mean it like that! That was a poor choice of words.” She says turning in her seat to face Ashlyn. “Things that are easy aren’t better than the things that are more complex or challenging.”

 

“So, I’m challenging?” Ashlyn asks, a little offended.

 

“No! Ugh!” Ali groans in frustration. “You are amazing and I’m so in love with you and my life is ten million times better with you in it. But being in love takes work, because everything good in life takes work. And the difference between just caring about someone and actually being in love with them, is that you’re willing to work for them and with them. Things that are easy can be nice, but it’s the stuff that you put effort into the really means something.” Ali explains.

 

Ashlyn’s face breaks into a big smile, her dimple on full display. Ali is relieved, but she’s a little confused about her sudden shift.

 

“What?” Ali asks, unable to stop her own smile when she sees Ashlyn’s. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

 

“That’s what you said to me the night we met. That being in love meant working for and with someone. You said, _‘I know that doesn’t sound romantic, saying that love is work, but maybe that’s the difference between just caring for someone and being in love with them.’_ It was one of the reasons I knew you were going to be different than anyone else I had ever met.”

 

Now Ali’s face is plastered in a giant smile of her own. She leans back in her chair and rubs a hand over Ashlyn’s forearm as she drives.

 

“I remember that. And you said, _‘you’re a fascinating person, you know that?’_ I was terrified you thought I was too weird or something. But you kept looking at me like, well, I can’t really describe it. You still look at me like that sometimes.” Ali says.

 

“Oh, that’s the look I give you when I can’t believe I’m lucky enough to live in the same world that you exist in.”

 

“Stop.” Ali says, blushing.

 

“Not even if I wanted to, Al.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See? Nothing to worry about! They both made the team! I couldn't hurt them like that. 
> 
> Let me know your thoughts/feelings/questions/favorite parts in the comments!


	31. This Is a Bet and There Has to Be a Winner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! This has some fun moments and a bit of set up for the last couple of chapters. I hope you enjoy it! As always, thank you for reading and please let me know what you think in the comments!
> 
> Find me on tumbler at letter-know.tumblr.com

Ali and Ashlyn head to the Pride offices together, ready to sign their contracts. It’s two weeks before pre-season starts and both women are giddy with excitement to tour the facilities, and see their names for the first time on the back of those purple jerseys. Ali’s agent had agreed to take her back on, as well as Ashlyn and while he wouldn’t be attending the meeting today, he’d already reviewed the contract and discussed the terms with both of them. Today was mostly a formality, but it made it official. When they walk into the building, they’re both greeted warmly by head coach Tom Sermanni and a few members of the coaching staff, as well as the owner and a couple board members for the club. There are a few other new signees there as well and everyone takes a few minutes shaking hands and introducing themselves before they’re all ushered into a large conference room set up with coffee and pastries and fresh fruit. The first new player is asked to step into a smaller conference room across the hall to sign her contract, as Ali takes a seat at the large table and Ashlyn grabs them both coffee. Ashlyn has just handed Ali her cup with a kiss to her check when a friendly woman in a purple polo walks up to them.

 

“Hi Ashlyn.” The woman says extending her hand. “I’m Lisa Manning, it’s nice to meet you.”

 

“Hi.” Ashlyn says with a nod. “You as well.”

 

Lisa holds her hand out to Ali and greets her similarly, Ali matching the woman’s grin with her own greeting.

 

“I’m sort of like the HR department around here.” Lisa explains. “I was hoping to have a quick word with the two of you this morning.”

 

“Oh, um, sure.” Ali says a little hesitantly. She had noticed right away that the woman had sought them out specifically and had known who they were even though they’ve never met before.

 

Lisa nods and gestures over her shoulder for the pair to follow her. They enter a small office not far from the conference room and Lisa closes the door behind them.

 

“Please have a seat.” Lisa says as she pulls another chair from the corner of the room over to her desk before sitting behind it herself.

 

“Thanks.” Ashlyn says sitting down, crossing her legs and resting her coffee cup on her knee. She doesn’t seem to find this scenario nearly as anxiety-inducting as Ali does.

 

“I’ll just get right to it so you two can get back to the important stuff.” Lisa says opening up a file and removing a sheet of paper. Ali tries to read it from where she sits but she’s not great at reading upside down. “As a club and an organization, we don’t have any specific rules prohibiting relationships between players, or even staff for that matter. It’s something that hasn’t ever really come up, so we’ve never put anything official in place. We’d like to keep it that way which is why—“

 

“Which is why we’re here.” Ashlyn finishes for her, gesturing between her and Ali.

 

“Well, yes.” Lisa says with a warm smile. “Although you’re not required to disclose anything to me, you’ve both been open about your relationship already with staff and teammates and I’d just like to confirm the two of you are involved in a romantic relationship. Is that correct?”

 

Ashlyn gets a goofy grin on her face as she nods and reaches for Ali’s hand. “Love of my life right here.”

 

Ali blushes and gives Ashlyn’s hand a squeeze as she mumbles a quiet “that’s correct” to Lisa. The woman writes something on the form in front of her and checks a box before looking back up at the pair.

 

“Please remember this is all just a formality. We know the two of you are going to be professional. It’s part of the reason you’re both here today. But I have to remind you that this organization, the staff, and the coaches will not take your relationship into consideration as they make decisions for this team. Decisions will always be made for the best of the team as a whole and while we are very excited to welcome you both to the team, you are individual players and will be seen as such.” Ali and Ashlyn nod in understanding. “A sports team is a different kind of career,” Lisa continues, “but we ask that you keep in mind that this is a professional environment and always act accordingly. Basically, if you wouldn’t do it working in an office building or something, don’t do it here either.”

 

“So, no yelling or complaining if one of us gets benched or cut, and no making out in the locker room. Got it.” Ashlyn says.

 

“Pretty much.” Lisa says with a shrug. “That said though, we’re not going to pretend you aren’t together either. We’re very happy and supportive as long as you continue to be professionals.”

 

“We will.” Ali says seriously.

 

“I know you will.” Lisa replies. She turns the paper in front of her around so it’s facing Ali and Ashlyn now and slides it towards them on the desk. “If you could both just read this and sign and date it at the bottom, acknowledging that we had this conversation and you understand what was discussed to the best of your ability.”

 

The two lean in together and read the short document. Ashlyn whispers quietly to her. “Hey, Al. Relax, babe. You look like you just got called into the principal’s office.”

 

“I feel like I did!” Ali whispers back.

 

“But you didn’t. They’re just covering their bases. You’re not getting detention.” Ashlyn finishes with a little laugh before picking up the pen and signing her name. She holds the pen out to Ali who takes it and signs her name as well. She lays the pen on the paper and pushes it back towards Lisa, finally calming down a bit.

 

“Thank you.” Lisa says. “My only other request is that, should there be any permanent change to your relationship status, one of you would let me know.”

 

Ali looks confused. “Permanent change?” She mutters to herself.

 

“Yeah, she wants to make sure she gets an invite to the wedding.” Ashlyn says with a wink.

 

Lisa laughs but it takes Ali another beat to put it all together. She smiles to herself when she realizes how far away the thought of breaking up is from her mind.

 

“That’s everything.” Lisa says pulling the paper back in the file and setting it in a tray on a cabinet behind her. “Unless either of you have any questions?”

 

Ali shakes her head no and is about to stand to leave when Ashlyn cuts in.

 

“Actually, I do have something I want to bring up.”

 

“Go ahead.” Lisa says looking to Ashlyn intently.

 

“Both Ali and I have worked really hard to get here and we’re both incredibly dedicated to this team. I know that the team is going to look at us as individuals and not as a couple, but I want to make sure that we can maintain that with our ‘public image’ too. I know there is going to be a lot of social media and website content and things like that, and we’d like to make sure that we’re seen as Ali Krieger, and Ashlyn Harris, not _Ali-Krieger-and-Ashlyn-Harris_.”

 

“I completely understand.” Lisa says, opening up her laptop and typing something quickly. “I’ll make sure I let our media team know that your relationship is to be kept private.”

 

“We’re totally open with our friends and family and everyone here, and I don’t want to imply that we want to hide anything, but we don’t want our relationship to be used for marketing.” Ashlyn says rather bluntly.

 

It wasn’t something she ever thought she’d be having a conversation about, but since getting that call from Tom a week ago, she’d spoken almost every day with someone from the team, explaining to her that they wanted to use her to help build the fan base for the new club. Ashlyn was perfect for this because she can easily be made into the hometown hero. Born and raised only an hour away, and then making it her mission to be able to play for her hometown club was something that locals would feel connected to, and would hopefully draw them to the box office. Ashlyn was really proud to be a part of the Pride and she was happy to share her story with people. But when one person she had talked to a couple of days ago had mentioned folding Ali into the mix, she hated how they wanted to make Ali known for being “the girlfriend.” She knew that the marketing team didn’t really mean anything by it, and as much as she wanted people to be invested in her and Ali to increase their chances of staying, it wasn’t worth selling what was most important to her.

 

Ashlyn had discussed this with Ali as soon as she hung up the phone and they were both in agreement that their relationship was just for them. Ali was surprised that they were talking about it at all, thinking that a couple of players without much name recognition would be who the team wanted to highlight seemed silly, but when she thinks about Ashlyn and her journey, it makes perfect sense. Ali is positive that Ashlyn’s spot on the team is secured, which only drives her to work harder and continue to prove herself.

 

Ashlyn figured her request was just precautionary. Why would anyone care that much about her and Ali anyway?

 

After Lisa shakes Ali and Ashlyn’s hands and thanks for coming to speak with her, she tells them they can rejoin the conference room until it’s time to sign their contracts. As soon as they return, Tom greets Ashlyn with a wide smile and ushers her into the room across the hall. Ali sits sipping her coffee and chatting with some of the staff and another new teammate who she had met during tryouts. Ashlyn seemed to be gone for quite some time and when she finally returns, she enters the room with the small group around her in a fit of laughter over something she’s said. Tom shakes her hand, and a younger fellow offers her a high-five before she heads straight to Ali.

 

“Your turn, Al.” Ashlyn says with a smile and a hand on Ali’s shoulder.

 

“And follow that?” Ali says looking back at the group. “No way. Go back and be less charming, then I’ll go.”

 

Ashlyn lowers her voice so only Ali can hear her. “Ali Krieger, you get your perfect ass in there right this minute and join the damn Pride.”

 

Ali lets out a little laugh and stands just as a middle-aged blonde woman with a genuine smile comes to offer her hand to Ali.

 

Twenty minutes later, Ali returns and the woman who had greeted her with a handshake now says goodbye with a hug. Tom offers her a pat on the back and she looks to him with one of her nose-crinkling smiles when he says something that appears to be rather sincere. Ashlyn is smirking when Ali sits down next her again.

 

“So who’s the charmer now?” Ashlyn asks, brows raised.

 

“She’s a hit, what can I say?” Ali says with a shrug.

 

Ali’s contract was different than Ashlyn’s which she expected. Ali’s contract allows her to be paid as an official part of the Orlando Pride through the end of pre-season. If they decided to keep her on after that point, she’ll be asked to come back in to sign another, longer-term contract. Ashlyn’s contract doesn’t have the same six-week timeline, but they can still release her at any time. Neither one has any idea how the season is going to go, but both are excited to find out.

 

An hour later they’re leaving the office with a couple of new t-shirts and copies of their newly signed contracts. The parking lot is empty when they get there, so Ali follows Ashlyn around to the driver’s side door, and pushes her up against it.

 

“Oh, I’m sorry, did you want to drive?” Ashlyn asks playfully.

 

“I do love being in the driver’s seat.” Ali smirks and leans in to kiss Ashlyn deeply. Ashlyn kisses her back and allows herself to get lost in it for a long minute before pulling away.

 

Ali grabs Ashlyn’s wrists and pulls them behind her back, and leans into her, pushing her further into the car door. Ali runs kisses down Ashlyn’s jaw and neck, before running her tongue across her exposed collar bones.

 

“Al.” Ashlyn says in a warning tone.

 

But Ali persists, moving to the other side of Ashlyn’s neck and working her way up to her ear. She feels Ashlyn trying to pull her arms free from behind her but Ali won’t let up.

 

“Ali.” Ashlyn tries again. She’s trying to sound stern but it comes out more of a whine.

 

Ali kisses Ashlyn again, hard, her tongue exploring the inside of Ashlyn’s mouth, in complete control. As soon as Ashlyn lets out a soft moan into Ali’s mouth, she pulls herself away with a bright smile and skips around the car to the passenger side and climbs in. Ashlyn can’t move for a moment as she leans against the car door, still stunned. She hears a muffled. “Let’s go!” from inside the car and turns to see Ali flipping down the sun visor to look in the mirror and clean up her smudged lip gloss.

 

Ashlyn climbs in the Jeep and stares at Ali a moment.

 

“What?” Ali asks innocently.

 

“Really?” Ashlyn says with a pointed look.

 

“We’re not allowed to make out in the locker room or anything fun. I was just trying to get it out of my system.” Ali says with a shrug.

 

Ashlyn just shakes her head and starts the car.

 

“Oh,” Ali adds, “I also wanted to be able to say that I made out with the Orlando Pride goalkeeper.” She smirks.

 

“Oh yeah?” Ashlyn asks reaching across the console and placing her hand on Ali’s thigh. She rests it a little higher than usual.

 

“Yeah. I’m going to try and score on her later.”

 

“Hm.” Ashlyn says with a smirk of her own. “I love when defenders score.”

 

A couple of days later, Ashlyn speaks with a reporter from the _Orlando Sentinel_ who is doing a feature on her story. The woman asks all about Ashlyn’s childhood, her college career, and her time taking care of her grandmother. Ashlyn is as honest as she can be, trying to make sure her family doesn’t get painted in a negative light, without making her childhood sound like something it wasn’t. The reporter even asks if it’s okay to contact her grandmother for the piece as well. She tells Ashlyn the article will run just a few days before the team’s home opener.

 

The following weekend, just before the start of pre-season, the youth soccer academy that Ali coaches for holds their spring camp. The camp runs Saturday and Sunday and is open to all kids of all skill levels, but they academy uses the opportunity to discover new talent and sign kids up for teams. Ali had helped Becky a lot with this camp and had happily recruited Kelley and Crystal to volunteer like they do every year. But it was Becky who had reached out and asked Alex and Ashlyn to come and be special guests now that they were both professional players. Alex asked if she could bring Allie Long as well, and everyone at the academy was thrilled to have a member of the National Team join them. As expected, Alex had been invited to the January camp, but was still uncapped. Allie, however, had been a roster regular for more than a year.

 

The morning of the first day of camp, Ali is a nervous wreck. She’s had four cups of coffee by nine o’clock when registration and check in begins. She’s already passed out group assignments to all of her friends and staff members who are leading groups, checked in with the volunteer crew twice, and posted on all of the academy’s social media profiles. She’s pacing around nervously when Kelley approaches her.

 

“Morning, sunshine!” Kelley says reaching for the coffee cup clutched in Ali’s hand.

 

“Hey!” Ali says with a glare as Kelley takes the cup and drinks from it. “That’s mine!”

 

“Not anymore. Your wife says no more coffee.” Kelley finishes the cup and throws it a few feet into the trash can, fist pumping when she makes the shot.

 

“That joke is old, Kell.” Ali says rolling her eyes.

 

“So are you.” Kelley says with a smile.

 

Before Ali can respond, Ashlyn joins them.

 

“You.” Ali says turning on her heel and pointing at Ashlyn with eyes narrowed. “You had my coffee confiscated!”

 

“I did.” Ashlyn nods. “But only because I love you and I’m afraid you’re going to have a heart attack. I brought you orange juice as recompense.” Ashlyn says holds the bottle out to her.

 

“In what world is orange juice a suitable substitute for coffee?!”

 

“Oh! I know the answer to this one!” Kelley chimes in. “When it’s served with champagne.”

 

“Not how Ali drinks her mimosas.” Ashlyn teases. “Her version is a glass of champagne with an orange slice on the side.”

 

“Regardless of how I take my mimosas, I still never have one without a cup of coffee too. I don’t do anything without coffee!” Ali pouts.

 

“Aunt Al! Aunt Ash! Uncle Kelley!” A tiny, but loud voice shouts to the trio as a blonde blur barrels towards them.

 

Ashlyn scoops the girl up and swings her around before returning her to the ground. “Oh hey, Abigail.” She says casually over the girl’s giggles.

 

“Are you excited for camp, Abs?” Ali asks.

 

“That’s putting it mildly.” Tasha says as she approaches. “She’s been up and wearing her cleats since five this morning.”

 

“Please tell me you’re going home to take a nap.” Kelley asks seriously.

 

“I might. These brave souls have offered to take Abigail for dinner after this so I have the entire day to myself.”

 

 “What can we say? We like the kid.” Ashlyn says.

 

“She’s awfully fond of the two of you as well. I left her booster seat with Crystal at check-in but if she doesn’t behave, you can rescind your dinner offer as a consequence. Just call and I’ll come pick her up.”

 

“She’s going to be great, Tash.” Ali says with a smile.

 

They all chat for a few more minutes before Becky lets Ali know that everyone is checked in and they’re ready to get things officially started. Tasha shouts a good-bye to Abigail who is already running around with the other kids, and Kelley and Ashlyn follow Ali to wrangle the kids for the introductions and instructions.

 

After the kids have been broken into groups based on either age or position, and have played a few getting-to-know-you games, the camp gets into full swing. Kelley is working on basic skills with the six and seven-year-olds, including Abigail. Ashlyn is working with goalkeepers and her group ends up being all middle school boys. Ali is working with a group of middle school girls, mostly from the team she coaches. While her girls are having a quick water break, Ali looks over to Ashlyn who is demonstrating some kind of diving skill as Becky fires a couple of shots at her. Ashlyn has just gotten to her feet when Ali sees an opportunity she can’t miss and she sends a ball to the back of the net from where she’s standing. Ashlyn tries to respond in time, and makes a good effort, but with the lack of warning she’s not prepared and the ball finds the upper corner with ease.

 

“Nice save!” Ali yells.

 

“You’ve been spending too much time with Long!” Ashlyn yells back.

 

“It’s an Alexandra thing!” Allie shouts, having caught the moment herself.

 

Becky moves to work with Kelley’s group for a while, so Kelley joins Ali just as Ashlyn’s group make their way over for their own water break.

 

“That was an unfair shot.” One of Ashlyn’s boys defends. “She totally could have made it otherwise.”

 

“Whatever, Tyler.” A girl named Claire sasses back. “Ali can score on Ashlyn whenever she wants.”

 

“You have no idea.” Kelley mutters.

 

“Kelley!” Ali whisper-yells, whacking Kelley in the arm with the back of her hand.

 

“What?” Kelley says rubbing at her arm. “I’m talking about soccer. What are _you_ talking about?”

 

“Maybe she could, but you sure couldn’t.” Tyler says back to Claire.

 

“Oh, like you could stop one of Ali’s shots!” Claire replies.

 

“How about we find out?” Another boy suggests.

 

“Okay.” Claire agrees with a confident smile. “You guys all have to try and stop a shot from Ali.”

 

“And you girls have to try and get one by Ash.” Tyler adds.

 

“Whichever team does better, wins!” The other boy says.

 

“Hey, don’t you think Ali and I should have a say in this?” Ashlyn asks.

 

“No.” Tyler and Claire say in unison.

 

Ashlyn just laughs and shrugs in agreement. She holds her hand out to Ali. “Deal?” She asks.

 

Ali holds her hand out as well but doesn’t grip Ashlyn’s yet. “Under one condition.” Ali says.

 

“Name it.”

 

“These kids have to put in their best effort for the rest of the day. You and I are the only ones who get to decide who’s earned their participation.”

 

“I accept your terms and conditions. Boys?” Ashlyn asks for confirmation. The boys all nod in agreement.

 

“Are we in girls?” Ali asks her group and they nod as well. Finally, Ali takes Ashlyn’s hand and gives it one firm shake.

 

The groups get back to work and Kelley hangs back to help Ali for a few minutes as Becky is still working with her kids. While the girls are running a drill, Ali feels a tug at her shirt and looks down to see a wide-eyed Abigail at her side.

 

“Oh! Hi sweetheart, what’s the matter?” She asks resting a hand on the little girl’s head.

 

“I want to do that, Aunt Al!” Abigail says excitedly, pointing at Ashlyn and her kids.

 

“Do what, honey?” Ali asks.

 

“I want to do what Aunt Ashlyn and those boys are doing!”

 

“I don’t know, Abs. Maybe Auntie can give you some lessons later. Those kids are being pretty rough.” Ali says.

 

“I can be rough! I’m a tough cookie!” Abigail insists.

 

“I know you are. I just don’t want you to get hurt and not be able to enjoy the rest of camp.”

 

“I won’t! I promise! _Pleeeeease_?” The little girl pleads.

 

“Let me see what Ashlyn thinks. Stay here with Kelley.”

 

Ali makes her way over to Ashlyn and waits for a good moment to interrupt.

 

“Abigail has decided she wants to be a goalkeeper.” Ali announces.

 

Ashlyn whips her head around, a huge smile painted on her face. “Really?!”

 

“Yes, really. And she really wants to work with you and the boys today.” Ali says chewing on her lip.

 

“Well send her over!” Ashlyn says excitedly.

 

“I don’t want her to get hurt.”

 

“I won’t have her doing the same stuff, Al.”

 

“But she’s going to want to do what the other kids are doing.”

 

“It’s going to be fine. I promise.”

 

“I don’t know.” Ali says looking back at Abigail who is stretching out her arms and clapping her hands together, mimicking what she’s seen Ashlyn do.

 

“ _Pleeeease_?” Ashlyn asks sticking her bottom lip out for effect.

 

“Abigail!” Ali calls over to her. When Abigail looks over at Ali, she waves her over and the tiny blonde comes speeding towards them.

 

“Aunt Ashlyn I’m going to be a keeper like you!” Abigail squeals.

 

“You’ve made an excellent choice, kid.” Ashlyn says.

 

“Abs, you have to listen to everything that Ashlyn tells you or you go back to your group. Understand?”

 

Abigail shakes her head vigorously.

 

“Alright. Have fun you two.”

 

The rest of the day goes well and Ali’s kids have worked harder than she’s ever seen them work, so they can all participate in the competition. Ashlyn’s kids had been excited to have Abigail join them and they had all wanted to help her and encourage her as she proved herself fearless and ready to learn. The last ten minutes of camp are for free play, so it was the perfect time for the challenge that Ali and Ashlyn’s kids had set up. Word had made it through the camp what was happening, so as soon as they were dismissed from the closing assembly, the kids and coaches all began gathering sideline near the goal.

 

“I didn’t know we were going to have an audience.” Ashlyn says watching as parents start joining their kids to watch as well.

 

“You scared, Harris?” Ali asks.

 

“Not even a little, Krieger.” Ashlyn says shaking her head and readying herself between the posts. “Ladies first.”

 

“Okay girls!” Ali says lining her group up. “You’ve got this.”

 

Ali’s girls all try their best to use everything Ali as taught them, but they’re still learning. They all have obvious tells and Ashlyn easily says the first nine shots. After each girl goes, Ali and Ashlyn both offer something she did well and something to work on. Just because it was for fun, didn’t mean it couldn’t be a learning opportunity too. The last girl to take a shot is Claire, who regularly spends hours practicing her shots in her backyard. She steps up and places her ball, fully aware of how her hips are positioned and what they might give away. She fires her shot and Ashlyn guesses wrong. The girl watches as her ball finds the back of the net effortlessly. The crowd erupts with cheers as Ali’s group tackles their friend in celebration.

 

Ashlyn steps out of the goal and Ali prepares herself for her first shot. Ash had spent some time that afternoon working on reading a player in a PK situation, and she’s hoping it’ll pay off and lead her team to victory. All the boys make a valiant effort, a couple of them even getting a glove on the ball, but it’s to no avail. Ali sinks the first nine shots with ease. For the tenth and final shot, Tyler steps into the net, more determined than ever before. He bounces around and whistles and makes a big show, trying to throw Ali off her game. She lines up her final shot and strikes, feeling confident this one will end like the others. When Tyler leaps up and punches the ball away, her jaw drops. Whether it was lucky or not, it was a good save. The boys cheer loudly along with the crowd, until they realize that they still don’t have a winner.

 

“Wait!” Tyler shouts over the noise. “Who wins?!”

 

“It’s called a draw, buddy.” Ashlyn says. “And unfortunately, it’s just another part of the game.”

 

“No way!” Claire jumps in. “This isn’t a match, this is a bet and there has to be a winner!”

 

“A bet?” Ali questions. “A bet usually involves some kind of consequence for losing or benefit for winning.”

 

“Exactly.” Claire smirks.

 

“We didn’t hear about any bet.” Ashlyn says.

 

“Exactly.” Tyler responds.

 

Just then, Kelley joins the group, a wicked smile adorning her face.

 

“I’ve got an idea.” She sings.

 

Ali and Ashlyn both eye Kelley skeptically.

 

“One shot. Ali versus Ashlyn. Winner takes all.”

 

The kids love the idea, both fully confident that their adult has it in the bag. They all line up on either side of Ali to watch the final shot. Ali lines up her shot, but doesn’t take it right away. First, she locks eyes with Ashlyn and stares her down. She runs her tongue over her bottom lip before gently biting down on it. When she sees the look on Ashlyn’s face, she breaks into a giant nose-crinkling smile, her tongue peeking between her teeth and then takes her shot. Ashlyn dives the right way but it’s a second too late and Ali scores. The girls jump on Ali as they break into shrieks and squeals of joy.

 

Tomorrow, all the boys will sport custom made t-shirts during practice that read “I lost to Team Ali” in glitter puff paint. They’ll pretend to hate them, but before camp is over, they’ll ask the girls to sign them so they can keep them as a memento.

 

Both Ali and Ashlyn know that Ali cheated, but unbeknownst to anyone else, they had their own bet going, and Ashlyn was perfectly fine with being the loser.

 

Once everyone has settled down and all the kids have made it back to their parents, Ali and Ashlyn take Abigail to the pizza arcade for dinner. The little girl is thrilled when Alex, Allie, Kelley, Crystal, and Becky all join. Abigail moves from lap to lap the whole night, and never has trouble convincing at least one person to play a game with her. By the time Ashlyn is carrying an exhausted Abigail back to the Jeep to take her home, she’s got three stuffed animals, a pair of clip on earrings, two mini bottles of glitter nail polish and a lime green inflatable guitar.

 

When Ali and Ashlyn get home that night, they share a bottle of red wine and make good on their bet, three times, before the exhaustion of the day finally starts to set in. Ali lays her head on Ashlyn’s bare chest, and Ashlyn immediately moves her hand to stroke Ali’s hair. Ali enjoys listening to Ashlyn’s heart beating as it slowly falls back to its normal pace.

 

“Mmm.” Ali hums happily when Ashlyn moves to softly run her fingers up and down Ali’s arm. “That feels nice.”

 

“You feel nice.” Ashlyn says quietly.

 

Ashlyn again moves her hand to grab one of Ali’s and intertwine their fingers. “I love your hands.” She places a kiss to the back of her hand.

 

“You love my hands, or you love what I do with them?” Ali teases.

 

“Both.” Ashlyn says with a smirk. “But I meant that I love them. They’re both strong and soft at the same time. I love how your nails are always painted. I love the way you gesture when you talk. They’re good hands.”

 

“Yours are better.” Ali says taking Ashlyn’s hand in both of hers and finding the pink scar across her knuckles. She kisses it softly before running a thumb over it. “I mean these hands are the whole reason I fell in love with you.”

 

“That’s what all the girls tell me.” Ashlyn jokes.

 

“Don’t ruin the moment.” Ali reprimands, but she’s smiling. “If it weren’t for this hand right here we never would have had that first kiss.”

 

“Maybe you’d be dating Collin Hayworth instead.”

 

“Gross.” Ali says with a disgusted look. “More like I’d be in prison for running him over with my car or something.”

 

“But instead, you’re a professional soccer player for the Orlando Pride. Talk about talented hands.”

 

“Everything is about to change.” Ali says thoughtfully.

 

“It is. Are you nervous?”

 

“No.” Ali shakes her head and flips over on to her stomach so she can look into Ashlyn’s eyes. “I feel like I should be but I’m not. Even though I have no clue how all of this is going to turn out, I’ve never been more certain that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.”

 

“Me too.” Ashlyn says. She places one last sweet kiss to Ali’s lips before Ali lays her head down again and they drift off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? Feelings? Questions? Favorite parts? 
> 
> Anything you're dying for in the last chapters of this story?
> 
> Let me know what you think!


	32. Why is Everyone So Handsy Today?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so SO sorry for the delay on this! November is one of busiest times of year at my job so I've been had a little more on my plate this month. Thank you so very much for being patient. This was is a little longer than usually so hopefully that helps just a little. 
> 
> Thank you for reading. As always, come find me on tumblr at letter-know.tumblr.com

No one was quite expecting the fan reaction to Ashlyn Harris. The Pride organization knew they needed to use the fact that she was a Florida girl to their advantage, but they didn’t know that the public would take so well to a relatively unknown keeper. It started with the short videos released on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook to get to know the players. They were asked a series of questions like where they were from, what position they played, one thing they were most proud of, as well as a few of their “favorites.” Ashlyn was funny, charming, and sincere all in just a matter of seconds. When it becomes apparent that anything involving Ashlyn has more views, and abundant comments, they start putting her in more things, and soon she’s being requested by name. The editors at the Orlando Sentinel even liked her story so much that the reporter called to ask additional questions, explaining that they’d extended the length of the article and that they’d be sending a photographer to a training session to take a few photos for the piece.

 

Ashlyn didn’t pay much attention to it, and claimed that it was all the doing of her grandmother and mother. Both Tammye and Grandma Harris had told every bank teller, cashier, barista and UPS guy about Ashlyn, the professional athlete (they both talked Ali up quite a bit too). Some of the first tickets sold to the home opener were to the Satellite Beach High School Girls’ Soccer Team, and a handful of teachers Ashlyn had given hell in her teen years, thanks to Tammye’s coffee date with a friend who happens to be the school secretary.

 

But it wasn’t just the budding fanbase that was taking notice of Ashlyn, she had the attention of her teammates as well. The Pride had managed to get a decent keeper in the expansion draft, a starter for the last two seasons with a lot of potential. Caroline worked hard and played well, but wasn’t a natural born leader. She gelled well with the team, but she didn’t command the respect Ashlyn did. When Ashlyn walked onto the pitch, she had high expectations for everyone, and even higher expectations for herself. She was a strong leader, a great organizer, and incredibly vocal. She knew her role on the team was to play her best and push Caroline to be better, and to always be prepared when her team needed her. But the more she played with the team, and the harder she worked in practice, the more apparent it became that she had an edge that Caroline did not. Although Ashlyn was unaware, Ali heard the rumblings in the locker room among their teammates.

 

Ali was a leader as well, and the team appreciated her just as much as they did Ashlyn. The pair balanced each other out, Ali supporting and encouraging in a calm but determined way, and Ashlyn energizing and challenging everyone to play harder, better in her strong and commanding manner. When pre-season games started, Ali gave pep talks, gathering her girls around and reminding them of what they’re capable of and asking them to prove it. Ashlyn told them to get their shit together when they needed it.

 

Ali was endlessly happy that her girlfriend was being seen for the amazing, compassionate, talented woman that she was, but she hadn’t been anticipating the rush of jealousy she would feel when everyone seemed to want a piece of Ashlyn.

 

In an effort to build hype for the new team and the impending inaugural season, the Pride had done a series on contests across their social media platforms where winners would get the opportunity to watch a training session and have lunch with the players. When the third and final group was yet another pack of young 20-somethings falling all over Ashlyn, Ali was starting to feel a little frustrated. She watched as Ashlyn charmed each and every one of them, graciously accepting their compliments, and taking endless selfies. For a fleeting moment she wished they weren’t keeping their relationship out of the public eye, so she could tell those girls to watch their hands. Ali continued to torture herself by reading the comments section on the most recent posts from both Ashlyn’s personal Instagram account and that of the Pride. When they got back out on the field to finish their afternoon session, Ali was fired up.

 

“Wow, Al. You’re killing it out there.” Alex says during a water break.

 

“Just working off a little extra energy I guess.” Ali replies.

 

“Energy, or aggression?” Alex asks knowingly.

 

“What is that supposed to mean?” Ali asks with a bit more bite than she intended.

 

“I thought you might actually commit a murder at lunch today.”

 

“She’s going to have fingerprints on her bicep the way that one girl was holding on to her.” Ali grumbles back bitterly.

 

Alex lets out a laugh. “I’ve never known you to be the jealous type, but this is hilarious.”

 

“It is not!” Ali defends, indignant.

 

Just then Ali hears the unmistakable sound of Ashlyn’s laughter and looks over to see Ashlyn with Allie long in her arms. She sets the beautiful blonde down and wraps an arm around Allie’s waist, patting her hip as she pulls her in close. Allie’s arms are still around Ashlyn’s neck and she’s pressing her cheek into her.

 

“God, why is everyone so handsy today?!” Ali huffs.

 

“Sure, Kriegs.” Alex stifles another laugh. “Whatever you say.” She hands Ali the water bottle and jogs off, leaving Ali and her envy alone.

 

After practice, Ali had to stop and grab something from the trainers and tells Ashlyn she’ll meet her back at her jeep. Somehow, she manages to beat Ashlyn there and leans against the car as she waits, scrolling through her phone to kill time. Again, she hears the distinct sound of Ashlyn’s laughter and looks up to see Allie and Ashlyn walking through the parking lot hand-in-hand, Alex trailing behind them. It’s all Ali can take.

 

Ali pushes off the jeep and hurries across the parking lot to meet them.

 

“Hey, gorgeous.” Ali says with a suggestive smirk. “Can I take you home with me?”

 

“I don’t know if I’ve ever been propositioned by a beautiful woman in a parking lot before.” Ashlyn plays back, pretending to think on it.

 

“I find that hard to believe.” Alex says, finally catching up to them.

 

“Certainly no one I’ve ever wanted to say yes to.” Ashlyn says, dropping Allie’s hand.

 

Ali wraps her arm low around Ashlyn’s waist, sliding her hand into her back pocket and giving a good squeeze.

 

“Promise it’ll be worth it.” Ali half-whispers in Ashlyn’s ear before pressing an open-mouthed kiss just below her ear where her jawline starts.

 

Ashlyn’s eyes go wide while Alex and Allie exchange a knowing look.

 

“Someone’s staking her claim.” Alex mutters to Allie, but both Ashlyn and Ali catch it.

 

“I might not be a 22-year-old wannabe Instagram model, but my girlfriend _is_ a professional athlete.” Ali shrugs.

 

Alex shakes her head at Ali, but Ashlyn is confused. “Instagram model? What are we talking about?”

 

“Ugh.” Ali says with an eye-roll. “That— _girl_ —hanging all over you today! Her insta is just a bunch of overly-angled body shots with like 20-million hashtags.”

 

“Huh.” Allie says.

 

“What?” Ali shoots her a look.

 

“How do you know what’s on her insta?”

 

Ashlyn grins now, and pulls Ali into her, pressing a kiss to the side of her head.

 

“Yeah, babe.” Ashlyn teases. “How do you know what her insta looks like?”

 

“Oh my god.” Ali says, covering her face with her free hand, “I hate-stalked a stranger on Instagram! What have I become?!”

 

“Jealous.” Allie, Alex, and Ashlyn say in unison.

 

“Wow guys.” Ali says with an exaggerated look of offense. “Let me down easy, why don’t you!”

 

“Sorry, love.” Ashlyn says with a peck to Ali’s lips this time. “I actually find it kind of flattering.”

 

“I should have known it would go to that big head of yours.” Ali says narrowing her eyes at Ashlyn.

 

“Hey, you like this big head of mine.” Ashlyn retorts.

 

They reach the Jeep and Ashlyn unlocks it, opening the back to put her things away. Allie and Alex say their goodbyes and Ashlyn meets Ali in the front seat.

 

The pair drive in silence for a few minutes which isn’t unusual for them, but Ashlyn can sense that something is off.

 

“Hey.” Ashlyn says reaching for Ali’s hand. “You okay?”

 

Ali lets out a sigh, “Yeah. Sorry.”

 

“No need to be sorry. You just seem off. Did I hurt your feelings when I was teasing you?” Ashlyn asks.

 

“No, but I’m feeling a little embarrassed. I can’t believe I looked that girl up! It just feels like everyone has been all over you the last three weeks and I didn’t know it would bug me, but it does. Do you see what people say about you in the comments sections?!”

 

“Wait. Ali. Are you kidding me?” Ashlyn stares at her incredulously. Ali just stares back, confused. “Al, do you see what they say about _you_?!”

 

“Me?”

 

“Yes, you. Have you looked in the comments sections on anything the Pride has posted of you?”

 

“Uh, no.” Ali says thinking about it a moment. “I guess not.”

 

“People drool over you, Al. Some of those comments are downright lewd.”

 

“Fine.” Ali huffs. “I get it, okay? I’m wrong. I’m petty and selfish and you handle it way better than me!”

 

“No, I don’t! I sit around and report everyone who leaves a comment I don’t like. Plus, I’ve gotten into multiple comment-fights with strangers!”

 

“Really?”

 

“Really!” Ashlyn reassures. “This is weird for me too. I don’t like creepy guys talking about you like that, so I totally understand why you might not enjoy watching people flirt with me. But I don’t want you to feel insecure or to do anything to make you question my devotion to y—”

 

“I don’t!” Ali hurriedly cuts her off. “Babe, I’ve never doubted you for a minute! I just don’t like people feeling like they’re entitled to what’s mine.”

 

“Yours huh?” Ashlyn smirks.

 

“Oh! No! That’s not what I meant. I don’t think I _own_ you or anything, I just—”

 

“I _want_ to be yours, Ali.” Ashlyn says sweetly. “It’s not a possession thing, I know that. But we belong to each other. I mean, I hope we do. It’s kind of what I signed up for.”

 

“I want to be yours too.” Ali says squeezing Ashlyn’s hand.

 

“We’ll adjust, and we’ll do it together, like we always do.” Ashlyn smiles.

 

“We will.” Ali agrees with a sharp nod.

 

After their little chat, Ali feels a lot better and lets go of some of her jealousy. She and Ashlyn both agree to stop reading the comments and it does wonders for their sanity. The following week, the Pride plays two games against a couple of Universities in the area, before heading back to Orlando to host a preseason tournament with the Chicago Red Stars and The Washington Spirit.  Ali is thrilled when she starts and plays at least 75 minutes in every game. She even manages to score a goal during their game against the Spirit. As they inch ever closer to the regular season, Ali feels more and more confident in her role on the team.

 

Ashlyn is surprised when the preseason games are split evenly between herself and Caroline, but she knows she needs to make the most of the opportunity and show everyone why she’s there. She’s feeling rather proud of herself when she manages a clean sheet in her first game, but it was against a college team, and she knows playing CRS will be very different. When she manages to save not one, but three of Christen Press’ shots, she’s still feeling pretty good when Christen’s fourth finally finds the back of the net. It’s the last game of preseason and the whole team walks away ready for the challenge of their first season.

 

One week before the first game of the season, Grandma Harris holds a small gathering to spend some family time with Ashlyn and Ali before the season starts and they’re busy with the routine of traveling and training. They also use the party to celebrate Ali’s long-term contract offer and the publication of the article about Ashlyn. Grandma Harris has ten copies of the paper on her kitchen table, so everyone can take one. She, of course, asks Ashlyn to sign hers. Ashlyn is hardly through the front door before she’s got her nephew in her arms and one of her grandmother’s famous chocolate chip cookies in her mouth.

 

“Those are for dessert!” Grandma Harris calls after Ashlyn as she hands her cookie to Jenson and swipes another on her way out the back door.

 

“If I told you how many times I’ve caught her eating straight from a carton ice cream _while_ we’re making dinner, you’d be appalled.” Ali says.

 

“That might be my fault.” Tammye says, leaning against the kitchen counter. “I used to give her treats when I was late on dinner to keep her from complaining.”

 

Before anyone can respond, there is a loud thud as the front door slams shut.

 

“Oh, that must be Mike.” Grandma says with resigned sigh. “He’s in a bit of a mood.”

 

“Maybe I should head out.” Tammye offers.

 

“No, no. You’re fine, honey. You know how he gets. I told him he didn’t have to come if he wanted to be in a bad mood all night. He’ll get it together or he knows I’ll send him home.”

 

Tammye nods but doesn’t say anything. She moves to refill her coffee cup from the pot on the counter as Mike walks into the room, his face set in a scowl.

 

“The girls are here, Mike.” Grandma Harris says nodding to Ali.

 

“Oh.” His face softens slightly as he looks to Ali and forces a small smile. “Good to see you, Ali.” He pats the brunette on shoulder before turning to his mother. “You need anything, Mom?”

 

“We’re all set in here, but Chris is on the grill. Go see if he needs anything, would you?” She responds.

 

Mike gives her a nod and offers Tammye a pat on shoulder as well as he passes through.

 

Ali had met Mike a handful of times now and she’s always seen him as reserved and even stoic. He has a kind smile on the occasion one graces his face, and pretty wicked sense of humor when he speaks. Ali had gathered from stories from Ashlyn and the rest of her family that Mike had a temper, but she’d never seen it herself. To be honest, she hoped she never did. Ashlyn had shared more than a couple of stories of being a little girl, hiding in her bedroom closet, trying to distance herself from the booming voice and vicious words of the raging man.

 

While Ashlyn’s relationship with Tammye was complex and still somewhat strained, Ashlyn had always said her relationship with her father was easier. She knew exactly what it was and what it would be, but her words were always laced with sadness when she spoke of their relationship. Until that afternoon, Ali had assumed the quiet distance that had become the basis of Ashlyn and Mike’s relationship was due to his alcohol abuse.

 

“He’s really very fond of you Ali.” Tammye says. She sounds almost surprised.

 

“Yeah?” Ali asks with a smile. “He’s a little hard to read, but I sure hope so.”

 

“His mood turned right around when he saw you.” Grandma Harris confirms. “He’s really come a long way.”

 

Ali looks at her inquisitively. “Did he not care for me before?”

 

“Oh sweetie, no!” Grandma says with a smile, taking a seat at the kitchen table and pulling a chair out for Ali to join her. “He took a liking to you right away. After my birthday party he told me as much. Said he thought you were good for Ashlyn.”

 

Ali still doesn’t quite understand, and Tammye quickly realizes that Ashlyn has never explained what happened between her and her father.

 

“Mike’s had a harder time accepting Ashlyn.” Tammye explains. Ali doesn’t understand what she means at first. Ashlyn had talked at length about the struggle she’d had with her mother growing up. Tammye had wanted a little princess and she got a scrappy, skinned-knee, screaming, fighting, soccer-shorts-under-her-church-dress wearing Ashlyn. According to Ashlyn, it had been her father who had accepted her for the unconventional wild child she was. But with Tammye’s next comment it all makes sense. “It’s why she hasn’t brought anyone she’s seeing around. It didn’t go so well in the past. We all knew you were important the minute we met you because of it.”

 

“Oh, um, she didn’t tell me that.” Ali says quietly.

 

“I think she was trying to protect you.” Tammye says giving Ali’s shoulder a comforting squeeze.

 

Ali smiles up at Tammye in thanks, but she disagrees with her. She thinks Ashlyn was trying to protect _him_.

 

Ali can’t fight the swell of anger she feels in her chest when she thinks about how it must have felt for Ashlyn to have the person who had given her a sense of understanding and acceptance, suddenly reject such a huge part of her. She spends much of evening watching Mike interact with his family, especially Ashlyn. He asks her if she’s been out on the water lately and she animatedly tells the tale of her most recent surfing trip. She asks about his work and he gets about as enthusiastic as Ali’s ever seen him when his tells a story of his own. But each time, the silence falls between them once again. She watches Ashlyn’s smile fade as she realizes her father has nothing else to say. Ali wonders how long she’s missed the sadness behind Ashlyn’s eyes when she spends time with her father.

 

When Mike heads home, Ali finally moves on and eventually finds herself sitting cross-legged in the arm chair in the living room, arguing with Chris about where to get the best tacos in Florida.

 

“No! Taquiza is just trendy because it’s in Miami beach! I don’t even think it counts as a taco if it doesn’t come from a truck!” Chris practically yells.

 

“Sometimes trendy _is_ better. Actual Ray-bans always look better than the knock-offs you got at Target. Besides, Taquiza is basically a truck, the whole restaurant is outside.” Ali retorts.

 

“That doesn’t make it a truck!” Chris argues back just as Ashlyn walks into the room and drops herself down on the couch, she lays her feet in Chris’ lap and crosses her legs as she leans back.

 

“Are you two still arguing about tacos?” Ashlyn asks with a yawn.

 

“Yes.”

 

“No.”

 

Ali and Chris speak at the same time.

 

“Al says no, Chris. Guess you lost.” Ashlyn shrugs.

 

“Are you really just going to blindly take her side?!” Chris asks, his eyes wide.

 

“Absolutely.” Ashlyn nods. Ali shoots Chris as satisfied grin.

 

“I’m your brother!”

 

“She’s prettier.”

 

Ashlyn and Chris are playfully punching and kicking each other on the couch when Jenson wanders into the room with a book clutched in one hand and _Glamour_ magazine in the other. He hands the items to Ali as he works very hard to climb in her lap in the chair, leaning back into her and opening the magazine upside down.

 

“Should we read together?” Ali asks, holding out _The Very Hungry Caterpillar_.

 

“This one!” The toddler says patting the magazine with his tiny hand.

 

Ali rights the magazine and flips to a page that looks fairly harmless. “’Five Ways to Know You’ve Met Your Soulmate.’” She reads.

 

“One – You’re wildly attracted to each other. You love everything about each other whether you’re dolled all the way up or in sweats with morning breath. You just can’t get enough.”

 

Ashlyn stops kicking her brother and sits up to pay attention.

 

“Two – You tell each other everything. You’ve found a safe space in one another and that means you’re never afraid to speak your mind or share what’s on your heart.”

 

Ali pauses just a moment, she thinks this article fails to mention that telling each other everything sometimes means you need to care enough to ask. She decides then and there that she needs to talk to Ashlyn about her dad and offer to be her safe space.

 

“Three – You agree on the fundamentals. You’re on the same page about marriage, kids, and core values and can discuss differences when they come up.”

 

Ali smiles as she mentally checks another tick off her list.

 

“Four – You have mutual respect. You admire and value the other person and their ideas, and want them to achieve their goals as much as you want to achieve your own.”

 

“This is list gross. Stop staring at her like that!” Chris says swatting at his sister. Ali looks up to find Ashlyn staring at her with serious eyes and a dimpled smile.

 

“Five,” Ali reads a little louder for Chris’ benefit. “You’re the best version of yourself when you’re together. You encourage and support each other and always want to be your best self for the one you love.”

 

Chris makes a loud gagging noise and Ashlyn backhands him in the arm.

 

“Ow!”

 

“Will you two please knock it off?!” Ali whisper yells. “You’re going to wake up your nephew!” Ali smiles down at the now sleeping child in her lap.

 

A few hours later, Ali and Ashlyn are back at Ali’s apartment getting ready for bed. Ashlyn pulls off her shirt and puts on a pair of shorts before crawling into bed. Ali takes a little more time, putting her jewelry away, and hanging her jacket up. She usually just sets things on her dresser or over the back of her chair, but she’s trying to figure out what she wants to say. Ashlyn takes note and knows something is on Ali’s mind. She usually does.

 

“Babe, why don’t you come get in and bed and talk to me about whatever it is your thinking so hard about.”

 

Ali sighs. “Is it that obvious?”

 

“Only because I know you.”

 

Ali climbs into bed and settles into Ashlyn’s arms.

 

“I had an interesting talk with your mom and Grandma tonight.” Ali leads.

 

“Uh-oh. Don’t tell me they pulled out any more photo albums.”

 

“No,” Ali says with a small laugh. She falls quiet again and Ashlyn waits a moment to see if she’ll go on.

 

“Did they say something to upset you?” Ashlyn asks with concern.

 

“Your mom told me that your dad has had a hard time ‘accepting’ you.” Ali states.

 

“Oh.” Ashlyn isn’t upset, but she is surprised that this is what has Ali so lost in thought.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“Hey, it’s not your fault. I probably should have mentioned it to you, but sometimes it feels futile to bring it up again. We’ve found something that works, and I just want to keep it that way.”

 

Ali nods in understanding.

 

“You know, when I told my mom she started bawling. She wasn’t angry or disgusted or anything like that. She was sad. It was like she was grieving me, even though I was right there in front of her. I didn’t think anything could be worse than that until I told my dad. He couldn’t even look at me. I started crying and asking him to please just say something, but he couldn’t. He turned around and walked right out of the room. After that he just kind of… kept his distance. He didn’t say anything mean or cruel or anything like that, but it was like all of a sudden, I wasn’t his daughter anymore, I was just some stranger. I was in college at the time and he used to come to games when he could, but after that he stopped. That’s why I decided I needed some distance from my parents and we stopped talking.”

 

“So, you spent all that time thinking your parents—”

 

“--Hated me? Pretty much.”

 

Ali can’t stop the tears that fall as she thinks about how alone and unwanted Ashlyn must have felt.

 

“Hey, no crying. Things are so much better now.”

 

“What changed?”

 

“Well with my mom all it really took was a good talking to from Grandma. I guess she sat her down and asked her what the one thing she had always said she wanted for her kids was and when my mom said it was for us to be happy, Gram asked her why she thought I needed a man to do that. Mom tried to say something about getting married and having a family and Grandma said, ‘when did having a husband ever do you any good?’”

 

Ali lets out a laugh, clearly hearing Grandma Harris in her mind.

 

“Mom just needed to realize that I could still have all the things she wanted for me, they were just going to look a little different. One of the first conversations we had when we started talking again she apologized.”

 

“And what about your dad?”

 

“When Gram got sick he really wanted to do more for her, but he wasn’t in the position to do so. I think he felt like I was doing what he couldn’t when I moved, and I guess that changed his mind a little. One day he came over on a lunch break to check in. He didn’t say a word to me but when he went into the kitchen to make lunch, he came back and handed me a sandwich. After that we just settled into where we are now.”

 

“And you’re okay with how things are?”

 

“I just want him in my life, you know? It’s not perfect, but I know he’s trying. And he loves you, so I don’t know if I could ask for anything more than that.”

 

“You’re the toughest, bravest person I’ve ever met and I’m in awe of you every single day.” Ali says sitting up and looking Ashlyn in the eyes.

 

“Is being in awe of each other on _Glamour_ ’s soulmate list because I can hardly believe you’re real most days.” Ashlyn replies.

 

“Sounds like a match to me.” Ali says with a peck to Ashlyn’s lips.

 

With that Ali settles back down and the pair drifts off to a peaceful sleep.

 

The next two weeks are filled with excitement, hard work, and sexual tension. Although Ashlyn already knows that she’ll be on the bench, she still implements a No Sex rule until after the home opener. Ali insists that this is garbage because it isn’t part of her method, and Ashlyn insists that Ali plays better when she’s angry.

 

The first game of the season is an away game in Portland and while the Pride makes a valiant effort, they leave the Rose City with their first loss of the season. It’s disappointing, but it only fuels the team to work harder the next week, determined to win their first game in their new stadium. The Sunday following the home opener, the Pride is holding a gala for the players and contributors to kick off the season and thank everyone for the support that helped make them a team. Ali is excited to get all dressed up and celebrate the repeal of the Sex Ban, until she finds out that Ashlyn will be sitting at a table of fans who had all paid top dollar to do so.

 

The night before the game, Ashlyn’s phone rings. It’s already eleven o’clock and Ali and Ashlyn are just headed to bed, so Ashlyn intends to ignore it.

 

“Aren’t you going to answer that?” Ali asks.

 

“I want to go to sleep, babe.”

 

“No one calls this late unless it’s important!”

 

“Or it’s Kelley.”

 

“It’s Tom.” Ali says tossing Ashlyn her phone.

 

“Hello?” Ashlyn answers hurriedly.

 

Ali watches and listens intently as Ashlyn’s face twists from confused to concerned to shocked.

 

“Yeah, of course. Thank you. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

Ashlyn hangs up her phone and turns to Ali with wide eyes.

 

“What is it?!” Ali asks impatiently.

 

“Caroline was in a car accident tonight.”

 

“Oh my God! Is she alright?!” This isn’t what Ali was expecting to hear at all.

 

“She’s broken her left leg and arm. But she’s going to be alright. She’s really lucky.”

 

“I feel so awful!” Ali says. “Did he call the other girls? We should do something for her tomorrow at the game. And maybe we can each take a night to bring her dinner or something.” Ali says as she grabs her phone and starts to text Alex.

 

“She’s going to be out for the rest of the season.” Ashlyn states.

 

“Oh, she’ll probably go home then. She’ll have to be here a little while though, right? I’m sure we can do something for her.”

 

“Yeah.” Ashlyn says, still visibly stunned.

 

Ali finishes typing out her text to Alex and jotting a few things down on the pad of post-its on her bedside table when everything finally catches up with her.

 

“Oh my God.” Ali says, her eyes going wide. “She’s out for the season.”

 

“Yeah.” Ashlyn says.

 

“You!” Ali shrieks.

 

“Yeah.” Ashlyn repeats.

 

“I want to be so thrilled for you right now but that seems inappropriate.” Ali says fighting back a gigantic smile.

 

“Yeah.” Ashlyn says, fighting a tiny smile of her own.

 

“Your grandmother is going to lose her mind.”

 

The next day, Ali and Ashlyn head to the stadium feeling calm and confident. They had decided not to tell any family or friends about Ashlyn starting because she wanted to stay focused and knew their excitement would be distracting. Their own personal fan section included Tammye, Grandma Harris and Chris, as well as Corey, Brittany and Jenson. Ali’s mom and brother were also attending, along with Kelley, Crystal, Becky, Tasha, and of course Abigail. They were all in for a big surprise when the starting eleven was announced.

 

The game couldn’t have gone better. Ali played the full 90 minutes and Ashlyn recorded her first clean sheet of the official season. Both Alex and Allie scored goals and the stadium was nearly sold out. As the team clasped hands in a show of thanks to their supporters section, Ashlyn gave Ali’s hand an extra squeeze. It hadn’t happened quite the way they had expected, but getting your dreams felt pretty damn good.

 

As soon as she can, Ashlyn takes off to find the one person she wants to hug. Her grandmother. She knows she wouldn’t be where she is today if it weren’t for the love, support, and guidance of Grandma Harris. She ignores shouts of her name as she moves through the crowd, finally reaching the woman and wrapping her arms around her.

 

“Thank you.” She whispers in the older woman’s ear.

 

“You could have warned an old woman!” Grandma scolds.

 

“Sorry, Gram. I found out late last night. I’ll explain the whole thing at dinner, I promise.”

 

“I’m proud of you sweetheart. You were fantastic!” Grandma Harris says with a warm smile.

 

“You really were.” A voice says from behind her.

 

“Dad?” She turns to find Mike standing behind her. He’s wearing a purple Pride Jersey with her name and number on the back.

 

“You played a hell of a game.” Mike says.

 

Ashlyn has to swallow the lump her in throat. She hadn’t been expecting him to come. She hadn’t reserved a seat for him, or emailed him the game schedule. Yet there he was, a smile on his face and pride in his eyes.

 

“Thanks.” She smiles at her father. “I’m sorry Dad, I didn’t know you were coming.”

 

“I didn’t really like watching the preseason games on my computer. Too complicated. I figured watching it person would be better.”

 

“I’m really glad you’re here.” Ashlyn throws an arm around her dad’s shoulder, who turns into it and hugs her fully.

 

Ashlyn is on cloud nine for the rest of the weekend. She practically skips into the gala on Sunday night, her hair perfectly coiffed and wearing her new plum-colored suit. Ali’s by her side in a chic black dress with thin straps and a slit up past her knee. Ashlyn is so happy to be there with her stunning girlfriend, that she keeps forgetting that they’re going to mingle with fans and members of the public and Ali has to keep reminding her to watch her hands.

 

Ashlyn enthusiastically greets her dinner dates for the evening, giving Ali a subtle wink as she heads off to her table, leaving the long-haired brunette by the bar.

 

Ali tries to ignore the fact that the wannabe Instagram model is not only there, but has not removed her hand from Ashlyn’s arm in almost ten minutes. She’s just finished her second glass of wine when she decides she needs to intervene and starts to storm off towards Ashlyn’s table when she feels someone grab her arm and pull her back.

 

“Ooooh no you don’t.” Alex says pulling Ali in the other direction.

 

“I was just going to introduce myself to some fans.” Ali says innocently.

 

“Well you’ve already introduced yourself to two glasses of red wine in a half hour, so you can’t be trusted.”

 

“Excuse you!” Ali says sitting down at a table next to Allie Long. “I am a professional!” Allie slides another glass of wine to Ali.

 

“I know you are, but you weren’t invited to that meeting of the Ashlyn Harris Fan Club and it’s time to accept that.”

 

“Wasn’t invited?! I’m the founder of the Ashlyn Harris Fan Club! I am the President, Vice President, Secretary and Treasurer of the Ashlyn Harris Fan Club!” Ali rants.

 

“Not tonight you aren’t.” Alex says.

 

“Oh we’ll see about that.” Ali grumbles.

 

Luckily for Ali, the players had all been encouraged to share pictures, videos and tweets from the event to continue to build excitement for the season, so she doesn’t look rude or antisocial when she pulls her phone out of her clutch.

 

**Ali:** I changed my mind

**Ashlyn:** about what?

**Ali:** owning you

**Ashlyn:** Is that so?

**Ali:** You’re mine, Harris.

**Ashlyn:** can’t wait

**Ali:** you don’t have to

**Ashlyn:** excuse me?

**Ali:** I’m not wearing panties, Ash. Risky with the slit in this dress. Wouldn’t take much for someone to find out.

 

Ali watches Ashlyn from across the room. She nearly chokes on the sip of wine she’s just taken, and Ali swears she can see her cheeks turn pink from where she sits. Ashlyn glances around the room until her eyes fall on Ali. Ali smirks before turning in her chair so Ashlyn can watch as she crosses one smooth, tanned leg over the other, the slit in her dress exposing her leg up to her thigh.

 

**Ali:** like what you see?

**Ashlyn:** this is cruel

**Ali:** I want you to touch me

**Ashlyn:** where?

**Ali:** I’ll show you

 

Ali makes eye contact with Ashlyn one more time before she rises from her seat and heads out the door of the ballroom, praying that Ashlyn follows her out to the parking lot, and into the backseat of the jeep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? Feelings? Questions? Favorite Parts?
> 
> We've got one more chapter after this, anything you're really hoping for?


	33. And I Promise I'll Keep You Warm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is it kids. The end of my very first story. When I posted the first chapter I was so nervous and didn't know if anyone would even be interested in it. You all have been truly wonderful with you comments and encouragement and I look forward to sharing more stories with you.
> 
> Thank you all so very much.

The inaugural season of the Orlando Pride is a success. The team doesn’t win the championship, but does make it to the semi-finals, falling to Portland in a valiant effort. Ashlyn played all but one game of the season. She had tried to play all of them, but a bad cold had kept her away one week. Though the Florida native had tried to claim it was just the afternoon heat getting to her, she was benched after passing out during warmups.

 

Ali also had a great season, playing every minute of every game and drawing the attention of the coaching staff for the United States Women’s Nation Team whenever they came to check out new talent or check in with Alex and Allie. The three Alexandra’s proved to be quite a dream team, building great chemistry and leadership both on and off the field.

 

At the end of the season, Ashlyn and Ali knew they’d be back next year.

 

“What’s October weather like in Oregon?” Ashlyn asks, staring blankly at her closet. “I’m going to freeze, aren’t I?”

 

“You’re not going to freeze.” Ali says with a laugh, pulling a few things from a dresser drawer for Ashlyn. “Forecast says it should be about 70 degrees the whole time, but we’ll be in the mountains so it’ll get cold at night.”

 

“And in the mornings. And probably the whole time.” Ashlyn pouts.

 

“It’s going to be perfect and amazing.” Ali says with a happy smile. “And I promise I’ll help keep you warm.”

 

“Oh yeah?” Ashlyn wraps her arms around Ali from behind, placing a kiss to her cheek. “And how do you plan to do that?”

 

“By making sure you wear lots of layers.” Ali responds matter-of-factly.

 

“I was hoping for something a little more…active.” Ashlyn says suggestively.

 

“Oh! Good idea!” Ali says turning in Ashlyn’s arms to face her. “The hiking will help too!”

 

Ashlyn pouts which Ali promptly kisses before breaking free from the embrace to continue to help Ashlyn organize for their trip.

 

Ali had been expecting cooler temperatures and at least some rain when she first started planning their October getaway, but she was pleasantly surprised to find that Oregon was having a very warm and dry start to autumn. She was excited to spend their four nights and five days hiking and kayaking and taking in gorgeous views.

 

Due to the fact that the pair would have to drive more than three hours to reach their final destination, they picked as early as a flight they could find, leaving Orlando at 7:15 in the morning, and arriving in Portland around 11:30. It’s nearing one in the afternoon when they finally have everything packed into their rental car and are on the road. Even though they know they have a long drive, they stop off at Screen Door for brunch. Ashlyn is skeptical about having Southern food in the Pacific Northwest but her local friends assure her it will be worth it. In the end, after a Bloody Mary and a plate of chicken and waffles, she’s feeling quite satisfied.

 

The drive from Portland to Bend is beautiful. The afternoon sun flickers between the trees as they wind through the forest, every curve in the road bringing more majestic views of evergreens and blue skies. A weekday getaway after the peak summer season is over and just before the snowy winter activites begin, provides Ali and Ashlyn with near solitude as they make their way.

 

The cabin they will be staying in is about 30 minutes from the town of Bend and has a beautiful view of Elk Lake but no direct access to the water due to the neighboring Elk Lake Resort’s property lines. However, Carolyn Rogers speaks highly of the resort, and had explained that she owns all the equipment they would need to enjoy the lake, and that while the resort essentially owns it, there are no fees for using it. When they finally approach the cabin, Ali and Ashlyn decide to stop at the resort next door first, hoping to grab something to eat and catch the sunset over the lake.

 

The Elk Lake Resort Gift Shop and Restaurant is everything Ali and Ashlyn could possibly want it to be. It’s a little outdated and a little rundown but in a well-loved kind of way. The décor is the perfect mix of woodland-themed kitsch and cleanliness.

 

“Hi!” A woman greets as she hurriedly stashes the magazine she was reading under the counter she sits behind. “Will you be dining with us this evening?”

 

“Yes, please.” Ali says with a smile.

 

“Great!” The woman responds. She grabs a couple of menus and steps out from behind the counter. She wears jeans and an Elk Lake Resort t-shirt with a black apron tied around her waist. “Uh, you can really take your pick.” She offers with a laugh, gesturing to the nearly empty restaurant.

 

“It’s a pretty quiet night for you then?” Ashlyn says with a laugh of her own.

 

“Yeah.” The woman nods. “We close up Friday until after Thanksgiving so it’s quiet around here.”

 

“We’re here just in time then.” Ali adds. “Can we sit at this table here by the window?”

 

“If you want the best view of the sunset, I’d sit at that table there, on the other side of the pillar.” The woman says pointing a couple of tables over.

 

“Perfect.”

 

Aside from the two guys having a beer and chatting with the bartender, Ali and Ashlyn have the whole place to themselves. They enjoy chatting with their waitress, Tracy, and picking her brain on all the things they should do while there. Ali, of course, takes copious notes and asks detailed questions. Ashlyn sits across from her, the warm orange of the sunset steaming in and illuminating Ali so she glows. Ali carries on animatedly, throwing her head back in laughter at something the waitress says before she heads back to the counter.

 

“What’s that look for?” Ali asks looking up from the notes on her phone.

 

“What look?”

 

“It’s kind of like the one you get when you watch those puppy videos on Instagram.”

 

“Oh, _that_ look.” Ashlyn says. “That’s adoration.”

 

After a couple of beers, an order of wings, a salad, and a basket of fries, Ali and Ashlyn finally reach the cabin. The front door opens up to two staircases, one leading up and one leading down. The set leading down leads to a game room complete with a pool table and pinball machine, a couple of bedrooms and a bathroom. The game room has a set of large sliding glass doors opening up to an open gravel area with beautiful wooden Adirondack chairs, and a fire pit, facing a stunning view of the lake. The other staircase leads up to a large kitchen and living room with high, vaulted ceilings lined with large wooden beams. There is a plush couch, and two large arm chairs facing an ornate stone fireplace. A flat screen TV hangs above the mantle. Off the living room is a dining table, and a hutch with cabinets and drawers filled with games. Next is the kitchen with dark granite countertops, stainless steel appliances and rustic wood cabinets. The dining area also has a set of sliding glass doors opening out to a large deck that extends the entire length of the house, with another entrance from the master bedroom down the hall. There is another set of Adirondack chairs, as well as a large grill and an outdoor dining table on one end of the deck, and a hot tub at the other. The cabin is spacious and beautiful, but not over the top. To be honest, Ashlyn had been expecting the president of the hospital to own something lavish and luxury and she was worried about how comfortable it would really be. She was thrilled to find it to be so warm and inviting instead.

 

“This place is really beautiful.” Ali says running a hand across the cold stone of the counter. “This is a gorgeous kitchen. Too bad I don’t know how to cook.”

 

“I don’t know if you can say that anymore, Al.” Ashlyn says. “You’ve made a lot of progress since I first met you.”

 

“Sure.” Ali says sarcastically. “I can follow the directions in a meal kit. Alert the Food Network.”

 

“I’d watch.” Ashlyn says with a shrug.

 

“And you’re totally unbiased.”

 

Ashlyn takes Ali’s hand and pulls her into her, wrapping her arms around her waist and kissing her soundly on the mouth.

 

“I am very much in love with you, Ali Krieger. Thank you for coming away with me.”

 

Ali blushes a little and pecks Ashlyn’s lips lightly.

 

“I am very much in love with you, too. Thank you for taking me away.” She pecks Ashlyn again. “And thank you for trusting someone you’d only known an hour to take care of you and not sell your organs to a mob doctor.”

 

“We’ve come a long way in a year, haven’t we?” Ashlyn asks.

 

“We most certainly have.”

 

Although Ali and Ashlyn didn’t officially start dating until December, they had both wanted to celebrate the anniversary of the night they met. It had just so happened that the anniversary fell on the day of their last game of the season, which somehow felt fitting. After the game they’d gone out with the girls for a little while, Ali choosing to drink only whiskey lemonade, so she would taste just like she did when she first kissed Ashlyn. When they walked into Ali’s apartment, she immediately went and put _Tapestry_ on, before skipping off to the kitchen to retrieve exactly four bottles of water, placing them in front of where Ashlyn had taken up residence on the couch.

 

“We’re not that drunk.” Ashlyn had said with a laugh.

 

“Just go with it.” Ali said with a kiss before going back to the kitchen.

 

Ali had of course made them grilled cheese sandwiches, swaying her hips to the music and singing along under her breath as she worked. And just like on that first night, Ashlyn was totally mesmerized.

 

After they had eaten, they spent a long while just sitting together, Ali curled into Ashlyn’s side, her head on her chest listening to the sound of her heart beating, and Ashlyn running gentle fingers up and down Ali’s arm. The record had ended, but neither one had wanted to move away from this moment, so they sat together in content silence.

 

Finally, Ali had broken the moment, sitting up rather abruptly and smiling mischievously at Ashlyn.

 

“I have something for you.” She smirked

 

Ali jumped up and scurried off to her bedroom, returning a minute later with a plain black box, tied with a simple white ribbon.

 

“Here.” She said holding it out to Ashlyn with a satisfied smile.

 

Ashlyn carefully untied the ribbon and removed the lid, finding a bottle of the exact liquor Ali had offered her in solace the night they met.

 

“I’m surprised you didn’t drink two-thirds of it for accuracy.”

 

“I thought about it.” Ali said. “But I thought it would be more fun to drink it together.”

 

“I like the way you think.” Ashlyn said with a kiss to Ali’s forehead. “I have something for you too.”

 

“You do?” Ali’s face lit up with excitement.

 

“I do.” Ashlyn said, reaching behind her for her jacket. She dug around in her pockets for a moment before locating what she was looking for. “For you.” She held out a three-pack of coconut lip balm, unwrapped, but with a pink bow stuck on top.

 

Ali tore into the package, removing a tube and swiping it on her lips before leaning in and kissing Ashlyn fiercely. It wasn’t long before she climbed into Ashlyn’s lap, and unlike the day they met, they spent the rest of the night wrapped up in each other.

 

“So, what should we do with the rest of our first night here?” Ali asks. “Scrabble? A movie? S’mores by the firepit?”

 

“I was thinking hot tub.” Ashlyn answers.

 

“And wine?” Ali asks, holding up a bottle from the grocery bag on the counter.

 

“Absolutely wine.”

 

“Well let’s go put our suits on then.” Ali says picking up her bag from the floor.

 

“Oh, no.” Ashlyn says taking the bag from her. “Those won’t be necessary.”

 

Ashlyn sets Ali’s bag back down and then reaches for the bottom of Ali’s shirt and pulls it swiftly over her head. Ali gets the idea and reaches forward to unbutton Ashlyn’s jeans, sliding the zipper down slowly before grabbing her waistband and tugging them down. Ashlyn removes her own shirt followed quickly by Ali’s leggings and soon they stand bare in front of each other, right there in the kitchen.

 

“It’s going to be really cold out there.” Ali mumbles into Ashlyn’s lips.

 

“Guess you’ll have to warm me up.”

 

Ali and Ashlyn grab robes from the master bathroom room before entering the deck from the bedroom. Ali lays the robes on a chair while Ashlyn pulls the cover from the hot tub. It really is quite cold, so Ashlyn moves as quickly as she can, stepping into the water and holding her hand out to help Ali in as soon as she can. Ali starts pressing buttons and adjusting the settings, while Ashlyn starts placing kisses down Ali’s neck, her hands roaming underwater to find and hold Ali’s hips.

 

Ashlyn works Ali up quickly, spending only a little time teasing before she’s two fingers in and Ali’s head is thrown back, her quiet moans sent to the blanket of stars above them. They both know they’re in a remote location, but they feel rather exposed outdoors, so their whimpers are softer, and their words are whispers. Ali comes undone with a gasp which Ashlyn captures with her lips.

 

Ali of course returns the favor, but she prefers to take a little more time. She settles herself in Ashlyn’s lap and works a hand between them. It’s a little harder this way, but she likes being pressed as closely to Ashlyn as she can, feeling her warm, wet skin and watching her face intently as she brings her right to the edge before stopping. She does this twice before Ashlyn is pleading with her in a fervent whisper. Finally, she builds her up again but this time she doesn’t stop until Ashlyn is moaning her name and desperately trying to catch her breath.

 

The first full day of vacation is supposed to be the warmest, so the pair spend their day on the lake. After a lazy morning and a late breakfast made by Ashlyn, they pack up their rental car and head over to the resort. It’s really not warm enough for swimming, but they enjoy using the kayaks from the cabin all afternoon, taking a long break to have lunch on the restaurant deck and soak up the sun. The spend the rest of the night at the cabin, sitting by the firepit and talking for hours.

 

The next day is Ali’s big hike. She had researched and planned and was most looking forward to this day. Ashlyn was less enthused.

 

“Nine miles?!” Ashlyn scoffs.

 

“You’re a professional athlete!”

 

“I’m a goalkeeper, not a mountain climber.” Ashlyn says with an eyeroll.

 

“We are going to go hike our way through incredible, natural beauty finally reaching a majestic lake that you can only get to by foot. No cars, no bikes, just the bodies that have given us so many good things.” Ali muses. “You’re going to love it.”

 

Ali packs a backpack with snacks, water, and an easy picnic lunch to enjoy once they reach the lake. They’re headed out pretty early and it’ll be cooler in the shade of the trees until they work up a sweat, so she makes sure Ashlyn wears layers. They pull into the small parking lot at the base of the Green Lakes trail and find only a few other cars parked there. They stop to look at the trail map and postings on the board near the trail head and as Ashlyn reads a list of prohibited items, she feels something rub its head against her legs. She looks down to find a very happy, and very friendly, golden retriever wagging his tail at her. She crouches down and gives the dog some attention just as a middle-aged couple approaches, having just completed the hike themselves.

 

“Good morning!” A man in a blue Patagonia jacket and round metal-frame glasses greets them. A woman with a chin-length salt-and-pepper bob wearing a matching jacket in purple waves and smiles from just behind him.

 

“Good morning.” Ali greets back. “How was the hike?”

 

“Beautiful.” The woman replies. “And not a lot of people out either. This is a heavily trafficked trail but you’re here at a good time.”

 

“Have you done this hike before then?” Ashlyn asks from the ground, the dog now practically sitting in her lap.

 

“It’s one of our favorites.” The man says. “We try and stop here whenever we’re in the area.”

 

“See, Ashlyn?” Ali teases. “It’s going to be worth it.”

 

“It really will be.” The woman says with a warm smile.

 

Ashlyn rises from the ground and gives the dog another pat.

 

“Alright, alright” Ashlyn relents. “I’m convinced.”

 

“You girls enjoy your hike.” The man says, hitting the unlock button on his key fob and then popping the truck. The golden retriever immediately jumps into the back of the black Subaru Outback.

 

“Thanks, we will.” Ali says with a wave, as Ashlyn offers a nod and follows behind her to the trail.

 

The hike is absolutely stunning. They climb about 1200 feet in elevation over four and a half miles, but there aren’t too many switchbacks and the last mile is mostly flat. Most of the hike is shaded as they climb through lush, green forest, walking along mountain streams with rapids and waterfalls. There are wildflowers all along the trail but once it finally opens up to more flat ground and fewer trees, they are even more abundant. When the reach the lakes, they get beautiful views of both the South Sister and Broken Top mountains.

 

Ashlyn finds herself loving the hike, jumping up and walking along logs and venturing out onto to ledges to get better views of the rushing waters. Ali laughs at her antics, snapping pictures of the love of her life treating the Pacific Northwest woods as her playground. Ashlyn complains a fair amount when the trail gets temporarily steep, dramatically throwing herself over a rock and telling Ali to go on without her. They eventually reach the lakes and find a nice sunny spot to sit and eat the lunch Ali has prepared. She lays a dishtowel on the ground between them and then removes the small cooler bag from her backpack, retrieving two turkey sandwiches, grapes, baby carrots, cashews, string cheese, and a bottle of Powerade. Then to a gasp of delight from her girlfriend, a small bag of potato chips. Ali can’t help but grin when Ashlyn’s face lights up.

 

After lunch, Ali sits by the water, her eyes closed, sun shining down on her face, feeling as content as she’s ever been. She thinks back over the past 12 months and how she never would have imagined walking into Alex’s house that night that she would be where she is right now. That night she was a woman working a job that was merely a means to an end, mourning the loss of who she thought she was, utterly stuck. Her heart was closed and padlocked, and she was certain that was the way it should be. Then a favor for a friend brought her face-to-face with a girl who knows how to pick a lock.

 

Now she’s living her dreams and her heart has never beat for someone the way it does for Ashlyn Harris.

 

And Although she’s entirely unaware, Ashlyn sits nearby watching Ali basking in the sunlight, blue skies above her, the mountain reflecting on the water beside her, and she’s thinking the exact same thing.

 

The trail is busier on their way back down and they find the parking lot much fuller than when they got there. They feel rather pleased with their timing, knowing they got to enjoy the hike just a little more without all the people. They make a stop back at the cabin for a quick shower and change of clothes before heading into Bend proper. They share a tasting flight at Crux Fermentation Project before settling on a beer each and heading out to the lawn to enjoy their drinks. They meet another couple who invites them to play cornhole, which Ali and Ashlyn gladly accept. Ali’s just helped them take the lead when an employee comes over and interjects.

 

“Hi, I’m sorry to bother you, but you guys play for the Orlando Pride, right?”

 

Both Ali and Ashlyn are taken aback. They’ve been recognized only a handful of times in the Orlando area, and being relative unknowns on a brand-new team, it’s always a bit of surprise. Being acknowledged in a brewery in Central Oregon feels very strange, and a little flattering.

 

“Uh, yeah.” Ashlyn says with an awkward smile.

 

“I’m a Florida native.” The guy replies. “My little sister is a huge soccer fan and goes to all your games. I try and stream them when I can. You guys had a great season.”

 

“Thank you.” Ali replies. “How old is your sister?”

 

“Fifteen. She’s on the varsity team at her high school. She’s the only freshman.” They guy says proudly.

 

“That’s awesome.” Ashlyn says. “She should have her coach email the club, maybe they can come for a tour of the stadium or something. I think I have a card with the email address for stuff like that.” Ashlyn grabs her wallet from her back pocket and opens it up.

 

“Really? That would be so cool! She’s going to freak out when I tell her about this.”

 

Ashlyn hands him a business card and the guys takes it with a nod and a smile.

 

“Would it be okay if we put a picture of you two up on the Crux Instagram page?” He asks.

 

“Oh, yeah, sure.” Ali says looking to Ashlyn for confirmation, who nods her agreement.

 

They guy ends up posting a picture of them with their new friend playing cornhole, and then gets one more picture, this time of himself with the pair, so he can send it to his little sister.

 

“That was sort of bizarre.” Ali says as they get back in the car to head to dinner. “I can’t believe someone recognized us here.”

 

“I’m just glad to hear someone is watching our games.” Ashlyn jokes.

 

They enjoy a nice dinner and a couple of margaritas -- passion fruit for Ali and prickly pear for Ashlyn-- at Barrio before heading back to the cabin for the night. When they return, Ashlyn insists that she and Ali pack everything up to leave the next day, before they go to sleep. Ali tries to pry from her girlfriend what her plans are for the next day, but she refuses. Eventually Ali relents and they get everything clean, organized and packed. Then they sit out by the firepit until a little after ten, when Ashlyn insists they go to bed.

 

At 5 o’clock the next morning, Ashlyn wakes Ali up. It’s still dark out and Ali is very confused as to why she’s not sleeping in on her last full day of vacation. But despite her grumbles and groans, Ashlyn manages to coax her into the shower with the promise to bring her coffee. Ashlyn strips the beds and takes Ali’s towel as soon as she can, throwing them all in the bin in the laundry room like the note Carolyn left says to do. By 5:45, they’re on the road to the surprise Ashlyn has planned for them.

 

About 45 minutes later, they pull into the parking lot of Smith Rock State Park. Ali is fast asleep in the passenger seat so Ashlyn leans across the center console and places a sweet kiss to her cheek.

 

“Hey, Al.” She whispers. “We’re here.”

 

Ali’s eyes flutter but fall closed again.

 

“Babe.” Ashlyn says just a little louder. “You have to get up or we’ll miss it.”

 

“Miss what?” Ali mumbles.

 

“Sunrise.”

 

Ali rouses a bit more and sits up straight, looking around.

 

“Smith Rock?” She asks excitedly. Ali had really wanted to visit Smith Rock, but they hadn’t planned for it in their first three days, and Ali didn’t bring it up again once Ashlyn had said she had a surprised planned for their last day and night.

 

“You didn’t think I’d let you miss it, did you?” Ashlyn smirks.

 

Ashlyn had read that Golden Hour, which was the hour after either sunrise or sunset, was the best time to visit the park, a warm glow radiating off the rock walls creating a magical effect. While Ashlyn is sure Ali would love to hike Misery Ridge, she’s not feeling anything with “misery” in the title, so she hopes Ali will still enjoy the easier Canyon and River trails that will take them through most of the park.

 

They make the descent into the park just in time to stop on the bridge and watch the sunrise, both falling silent in awe at the way the light changes around them.

 

“Sometimes I like to feel small.” Ali finally says.

 

Ashlyn just looks to her to continue.

 

“There are times where all the stress and pressure and terrible things going on around us make us feel small and insignificant. It feels like no matter how hard we try we can’t right the wrongs.”

 

Ashlyn nods in agreement, moving to wrap her arms around Ali from behind, resting her chin on her shoulder.

 

“And then there are the times where you go and sit and watch the sunrise in some amazing place like this. None of this beauty is manmade. This just… _exists_.” Ali says with wonderment in her voice. “We can stand here together, just some small speck in this big, beautiful place and know that we’re a part of it. That’s the good kind of small, the kind where you would take being just a tiny part of it, just to know that you are.”

 

“I love that.” Ashlyn says with a kiss to Ali’s cheek. “I love you.”

 

Ashlyn understands what Ali means because when she looks at Ali, she can’t believe she gets to be a part of her world, and she knows even if she were just some tiny speck in her life, it would be worth it to know her.

 

They spend the next hour walking along the river and through the canyon, enjoying every moment of Golden Hour. When they’re done, they drive about a half hour into the little town of Sisters stopping at the Sister’s Bakery for a cinnamon roll and then Sisters Coffee Company to fuel up before heading out to their destination.

 

They reach Suttle Lodge and Boathouse around eleven o’clock. Despite a very clear and sunny morning, gray clouds are just starting to loom in the distance. Ali had kept up with the forecast and knew that they were supposed to see a drizzly afternoon, and to be honest, she was kind of looking forward to it. It just seemed right to have a little Oregon rain.

 

The lodge is absolutely beautiful, with low light and big wooden beams everywhere. The main entrance leads to a big open room with dark blue walls and large plush chairs all around. There is a large stone fireplace, a wall of windows, and record player that’s actually being used as well.

 

“Whoa.” Ali mutters, taking it all in. “I feel like I’ve just walked into a Wes Anderson movie.”

 

“It’s pretty cool, isn’t it?” Ashlyn says excitedly.

 

“Very.” Ali responds.

 

After they get their keys and drop their things off in the equally as cool lodge room, they head outside to see the lake. There is a large deck lined with Adirondack chairs, a big open grassy area with lawn games set up, and a gravel path leading down to the lake. Just off the path is another open space to play horseshoes, and there’s a large log by the water perfect for sitting on and taking in the view. A short distance from the big grassy area is the boathouse where they’ll have dinner later, and off to the other side of the field is a beautiful gazebo-like structure facing the lake, with more Adirondack chairs and Edison lights hanging above. They enjoy their short walk before deciding to go back to the room for a nap, both agreeing that they should come back and watch the sunset from the chairs under the covered area with the lights.

 

When they get back to their room for their nap, Ashlyn has other ideas, and Ali is happy to go along with them. She’s so overwhelmed by her feelings for Ashlyn lately, that she brings her hands up to hold Ashlyn’s face, locking eyes with her and whispering _“I love you”_ over and over as she comes.

 

Later they enjoy an early dinner of burgers and fries before making their way back to the chairs where they want to watch the sunset. Ali’s been quiet, contemplative, since they left their room after their nap and when she sits down she let’s out a big sigh.

 

“What’s on your mind?” Ashlyn asks reaching a hand out to take Ali’s as they sit.

 

“Hmm?” Ali asks distractedly.

 

“You seem distracted.” Ashlyn says with a small laugh.

 

“Oh.” Ali says with an embarrassed smile. “Sorry.”

 

“Nothing to be sorry about, babe.” Ashlyn reassures. “I just want to know what you’re thinking about.”

 

“Well, um.” Ali starts hesitantly. “Actually, there’s something I want to talk to you about. It’s kind of important.”

 

“Okay.” Ashlyn says seriously turning in her chair to face Ali, just as the soft pitter-patter of rain on the roof above them begins.

 

Ali doesn’t meet Ashlyn’s eyes, instead staring ahead at the raindrops hitting the lake before her.

 

“I’ve been wanting to have this conversation for a while now.” Ali says nervously. “The timing never felt right but I think maybe it is now. I just want you to know that you can say no, okay? I just want you to be honest.”

 

“Al, what is it? You’re starting to freak me out a little.”

 

“No! I’m sorry! I don’t want you to be freaked out!”

 

“It’s okay, just tell me whatever it is you want to tell me.”

 

“It’s actually something I want to ask you.” Ali says, finally turning and looking Ashlyn in the eye.

 

“Okay…” Ashlyn says skeptically.

 

“It’s just, we’ve known each other for a year now and I know we haven’t been dating that long, but I mean we’ve been something special since that first night.”

 

“We have.” Ashlyn agrees.

 

“And you stay over practically every night already so it kind of makes sense to just make it official and we’ve both got some money in savings and I know my parents want to help a little and we wouldn’t have to buy anything extravagant.” Ali rambles. “I mean we could just rent a place together, but I think we are actually in a pretty good place to buy right now and I want to make some kind of commitment to you.”

 

Ashlyn’s face breaks into a giant, dopey grin as Ali continues to ramble on.

 

“I don’t think we’re ready to get married.” Ali says with a tinge of sadness. When she sees Ashlyn’s eyes get a little wider she thinks she’s said the wrong thing. “It’s not that I don’t want to marry you! I absolutely want to marry you. Just not right now. And you know, in a lot of ways, buying a house together is a bigger commitment than marriage. I mean marriage is just a legal contract, but buying a house? That involves money and taking out loans together and combing everything you own. And if you ever break up that’s really where the hard work would be.”

 

When Ashlyn starts laughing Ali drops her head into her hands.

 

“I’m fucking this up.”

 

“No, Ali, you’re not fucking anything up. You’re just adorable when you’re flustered.”

 

“I should have practiced or something.” Ali groans.

 

“Well?” Ashlyn asks.

 

“Well what?”

 

“Are you going to ask me?”

 

“What do you mean?” Ali asks, confused.

 

“You’ve made quite the case, but you said you wanted to ask me something and you haven’t exactly done that.”

 

Ali smiles her classic, nose-crinkling, eyes-squinting smile.

 

“Ashlyn, I love you more than anything. I’ve always needed to be sure of things, and you’ve made me want to take chances where certainty is thrown right out the window. But you’ve made all of it worth it for me. There is one thing I am totally and completely certain about, and that’s you. You’re my certainty. Do you want to move in together? For real?”

 

“Absolutely.” Ashlyn nods.

 

Ashlyn leans in again and kisses Ali passionately, this time Ali leans into it, knowing without a doubt, that she’s exactly where she’s meant to be.

 

Four months later, just before the start of pre-season, Alex Morgan throws one of her famous, although now rare, Sophisticated Ragers. One last hoorah before the team will be busy with training and games and travel.

 

“Hey Alex!” Ali greets as she walks into the kitchen. “Great party!”

 

“Ali!” Alex cheers, opening her arms to wrap Ali in a hug. “Where’s Ash?”

 

“She’s around here somewhere. I think she got distracted in the living room.”

 

“Are you ready to get back to work?” Alex asks.

 

“Yeah.” Ali says grabbing a tray of snacks and following Alex to a table out back. “I’m definitely ready for everything to start.”

 

The party is perfect, as usual, and Ali and Ashlyn spend the evening with teammates and friends, everyone passing drunk Kelley from lap to lap, and singing along to their favorite songs. Finally, Ali and Ashlyn decide to head out, both more than a little tipsy, and definitely getting a little handsy.

 

“You ready to go?” Ashlyn asks.

 

“Yep!” Ali replies with an over-exaggerated nod. “And you?”

 

Ashlyn pulls her wallet and keys from one pocket, and both her and Ali’s cell phones from the other, showing them to Ali for proof.

 

“Let’s go home.” Ali says with a peck to Ashlyn’s lips.

 

They walk down the front walkway of Alex’s house hand-in-hand and walk down to the end of the block, then cross the street to the little blue house on the corner. Ashlyn pulls her keys from her pocket once more, unlocking the front door and then stepping back so Ali can walk through first.

 

The house is entirely empty save for the case of water bottles on the counter, Ali’s Gotham Steel frying pan on the stove, the cheese in the fridge and the bread in the cupboard. Down the hall in the master bedroom is an AeroBed and a pile of pillows and blankets.

 

Ashlyn hops up on the counter in the kitchen and pulls a bottle of water from the case beside her. She cracks the lid and takes a long drink before holding it out to Ali. Ali takes a long drink too and then stands between Ashlyn’s legs, leaning into her and wrapping her arms around her waist.

 

“Welcome home.” Ali says with a gentle kiss to Ashlyn’s lips.

 

“Welcome home.” Ashlyn smiles back. “Are you happy?”

 

“I am.” Ali says with another kiss.

 

“Are you sure?”

 

Ali smiles wider. “I’m certain.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? Feelings? Questions? Favorite parts? Please let me know what you thought of the final chapter in the comments or on tumblr.
> 
> If you wouldn't mind, I'd also love some general feedback now that I've completed my first story. If you have a moment to let me know what your favorite chapter was and why (you can write a sentence or a novel, all feedback is welcome!) I would be forever grateful. As I work on The Wreckage and start my new story, I want to take with me the things that worked well in this one.
> 
> Thank you again for reading!


End file.
